Something More
by padfoot
...
Sometimes, he's desperate to find something more.
The desperation tears at him, inside and out. It feels cold and fierce and strong, as if it's trying to rip him apart at the seams. A sharp, piercing need for-
...something.
He doesn't even know what he's looking for. Hoping for. All he knows is that he so, so badly wants it to be there. That, one day, he wants to find it: that clarity, that reason, that logic. That thing that will suddenly pull his world together, like stitches tugging at the ragged edges of a wound. Painful, harsh and powerful. Binding him. Scarring him for life with its ability to heal.
It's not that he feels broken. He just feels... empty, sometimes. Incomplete. Because he knows, somewhere inside, that this – this life, these people, this version of himself – isn't all there is. Not by a long shot.
And, he thinks, everyone knows it, really.
Parallel universes, heaven and hell, reincarnation – they all mean the same thing, don't they? They mean that people want there to be something besides what there is. Something deep and important and immortal. Simply, something more.
He never expected to find it so soon. He never expected it to be there, on one innocuous day in one innocuous week in what could otherwise well have been the most innocuous year of his life. He never expected to hear a soft voice and look one day to see- everything. Because, as ridiculous as it seems, everything was right there, in the stranger's eyes, the very first time Blaine saw them. Somehow, impossibly, the gaze of that stranger that day had held the infinite answers that he'd been searching for, pining for. That quiet, blank moment when he'd looked up – that had been when everything changed.
Because that stranger – he was there. All of him. Vulnerable and bold, proud and shy, tall and beautiful, yet so, so small. Somehow present in a way so solid and true that it made all of Blaine's desperation seep away like water in sand. One second it was there – thrumming and biting and chilling – and the next- nothing.
In that moment, he'd found that something more.
And he didn't even know his name yet.