How it Should Be
DISCLAIMER: I don't own CSI, the characters, the city of Las Vegas, Etc.
Grissom stared at the television without really watching the figures moving across it. In his constantly active mind they meant nothing, not with all the emotions he was dealing with now. Confusion, passion, anger, frustration, pain and shock, all due to the latest case, were having a battle, keeping him from thinking about much else. Only a case like the one tonight could do this to Gil Grissom.
Child abuse. The words stirred a deep, cutting piece of rage in him that had been there for many, many years ever since the first child molestation case he's had. Her name was Mina, and only 7 years old. She had been battered, bruised, bones broken, her throat slit.
Tonight had been hard to bear. The child was 10, Lindsey's age. She was beaten to death by a drunken uncle. He had fled the scene and was found by Nick and Sara on the strip, scaring tourists. Worse yet, for Grissom, she looked like a child version of Sara, and that painfully reminded him of his "best student's" childhood.
He took a swig of his beer, and pushed that emotion to the back of his mind, and out of his heart. For now.
The Mets got a homerun, but he didn't take any notice. The blueish-white glow the TV was giving off was making him a bit sleepy. Maybe he would go out for dinner in an hour or two. Perhaps he should have taken the team out for breakfast after shift. It was one thing he did with them, so they could catch up, discuss the recent case, and heal together from the bad ones, like the one keeping him up today. Now that he considered it, he realized that he needed to have time to heal from this too. And I'll bet so does Sara.
He could imagine her in bed, weeping uncontrollably, curled in to the fetal position.
Cases like this hit her hard, too. She always got too emotionally involved, and he often had to remind her to keep her feelings at bay. You have those moments also, Gil. She's very young and passionate, remember? It'll take some time, but she'll get there.
He wondered if he wanted her to get there, at the certain cool, emotionless, detachment that he had ultimately achieved over the years. Oh, yes, he had feelings. They just didn't surface during shift. But Sara without the fire, Sara without the love of all living things apparent, wouldn't be…Sara. He could imagine her like that, but he could also imagine him disliking the colder, spark-less Sara Sidle.
"I can't work with you, Grissom."
God, that hurt.
"Since when did you care about beauty?"
"Since I met you."
Why had he said that? It was true, yes, but he normally didn't express his feeling for her so bluntly. And her speechlessness after gave him no comfort. But it didn't keep him awake for hours pondering, like her anger toward him did. Her shock didn't hurt him; in fact, it gave him a bit of hope.
The shrill ringing of the phone brought him back to the town house.
He sighed, and then scooped it up. "Grissom."
"Hey, Griss, I was just watching the news, and you're gonna be on in another…hour, I think."
He frowned. " I don't recall having a press meeting on the Webber Case, Cath."
"It's not for that, Gil, do you not remember the interview you did for channel 3, it was for that 'The Main Difference' program they're making, about the unknown people who make a difference in Clark County."
"I wouldn't say I'm unknown." He snorted.
"Yeah, well, they had to start some where. And who better than the guy who takes a bit of the 'Sin' out of 'Sin City?'"
"I can think of many better. They should have brought someone from water conservation."
"Whatever. Did you say anything that would look bad on the department?"
"You mean did I insult Ecklie, or any political figures? No."
"Okay." She still sounded wary, but quickly perked up. "I'm calling the rest of the team, so we can all watch your television debut. Be at my place in 15. Bye-bye!" A menacing cackle followed.
He groaned. "Cath, listen, I don't-" But the line was dead. Off to tell the rest of the team about his 60 minuets of fame.
Great. Just great.
He considered taking some action against her evil plan, but instead picked up the phone and dialed Sara Sidle's telephone number.
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Catherine opened the door to her townhouse, and the already big grin on her face got even wider. And it was sincere.
Grissom stood on the steps with Sara beside him. Obviously this was why when trying to call the Sidle residency the phone was first busy, and then not, but no one answered. She seemed to be glowing. Catherine felt a pang of sympathy for a younger woman. It was about time Gil threw her a bone. The way they use to flirt and dance around each other, you'd think they would have gotten together years ago. After all, they were the perfect match. Workaholics and science nerds. The girl who had to know the answer to every question she had, and the down to earth man whose love of science was only penetrated by insects and that one brunette.
"Hey Gil…Sara. Ready for the interview of a life time?"
Sara grinned. "I saw the commercial a week ago. God, Grissom, you looked so somber."
"I didn't want to be there. But the Sheriff said it would be good for the lab."
"And he bribed you with the electronic nose Warrick wanted." Catherine chuckled, and he grinned sheepishly
Grissom motioned for Sara to step on in and when he passed through the threshold he handed Catherine a plastic grocery bag. She peered in, and raised an eyebrow at the alcoholic beverage inside. He shrugged.
Shaking her head she lead the way to the living room, where the rest of the team sat. Warrick who sat on the floor against the couch, Nick, who was in a modern looking armchair, and even Greg, the unofficial member who still had dues to pay, was on a stool he had stolen from the kitchen. Lindsey was bouncing around showing the group +A homework, and 100 math worksheets, along with colorful art projects. She paused from the shower of compliments being given to her to screech "UNCLE GIL!" and ran over to hug him. He glanced at Sara to see if she was feeling left out, but she was quietly laughing. Sara being the newest edition to the team, even if it had been a few years, and the fact that she really wasn't a people person and even less of a kid person, had caused Lindsey, sensing the latter, to be a bit shy around her.
Catherine excused herself to the kitchen, so she could start some popcorn and Nick offered to help with beverages, seeing as he had brought the soda. After he had taken orders he followed his superior to her cooking domain, and Grissom and Sara sat down on the large beige leather couch. The TV was on the station Grissom's interview was going to be on, but no one was watching it at the moment.
When Nick came back with the array of sugary and alcoholic drinks the adults were in a conversation about the latest lab gossip, Grissom not included, as he was talking to Lindsey about school. Catherine followed soon after with popcorn and chips. Everyone sat down and chatted until the ad saying "The Main Difference: Pilot Episode. Interview with Dr. Gil Grissom, Nevada's top forensic scientist, Next!"
Grissom rolled his eyes as the entire room snickered. Catherine scooped up Lindsey from her perch on the arm of the couch and kissed her on the cheek. "Time for bed, kid."
Lindsey huffed a little, but did as told, much to the appreciation of her mother. It was late, and she had school tomorrow. She trudged up to her room, ever the good student.
When the interview started everyone hushed up, occasional busting out in laughter when the reporter asked a stupid question, or when Grissom blushed, or just because he looked odd. Well, not odd, just… young?
Was that it? Why the local new station had a make up artist do a brush-over of him he didn't know, but the lines on his face were less notable.
The reporter's question about if he had any current romantic relationship made the entire room burst in to uncontrollable laughter. Grissom noted Sara's cheeks were flaming, and could feel the heat from his own violently red face. He was very glad that everyone was still staring at the screen. Finally they calmed down enough to hear his answer.
"Well… not at the current time, no. I wish I were, but I think the chance slipped past me. The object of my interest doesn't know I feel the same way." He looked into the camera, and his features softened." And I'd just like to say, I'm sorry, Sara."
And then the reporter's face appeared on screen saying they'd be back after these messages, and after the break there would be viewer reviews via email or phone airing so call now and give your opinion about tonight's show!
The air froze. There was not a sound, nor was there any movement. Grissom felt the team of CSIs gazes boring holes through him. After a very long moment of silence Sara jumped up and asked Catherine where the bathroom was in a horse voice. Her eyes were wide and she didn't once look at Grissom. He kept his face composed and followed her every move, trying to catch her eye. Nothing. When he heard the bathroom door slam, he sighed let his head drop into his hands. Everyone was still staring.
"Gil." Catherine said slowly. "When she gets out, I can bet you she's going to leave. And you've got to go after her."
He nodded his head, but didn't raise it.
Catherine came on a sudden realization.
"I'm sorry. I should have listened to you when you told me to not involve the team. But-" She whapped him on the shoulder playfully, "you could have told me you had plans. And you didn't have to make it worse for her by bringing her, and humiliating her in front of the team!" And this time when she hit him it was all but playful.
"Ow." Catherine could throw a good punch.
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Sara felt a bit sick. The cookie-dibbing sick. The "good-lord-I-barely-had-any-thing-to-eat-how-can-I-feel-like-this?!" sick. And she suspected it wasn't the small amount of food she had eaten that caused her stomach ache, but butterflies that had grown there in the record time of 30 seconds.
I'm sorry, Sara.
Had he meant that? Really meant it? Would he crawl back into his shell, due to her disgusted reaction?
She had been so thrilled when he had told her Cath would be calling soon with an invite to watch his interview at her place, and if she wanted a ride over. He had been quieter than usual, yes, but he commented on her chatter, and the smile had been real when she joking said he looked "so cute" in the ad she had seen of him the week previous. In fact, when he had called, the commercial had just finished 2 minuets earlier.
If only she could read the complex Gil Grissom's mind. Sighing she flipped open her cell phone and dialed. Well, if he was taking that leap, she was taking it headfirst.
It's like they say. What happens here stays here. If it all ends badly I can go back to San Francisco, and leave it all here… She winced. While the city was hot and dry, she really did like Vegas. The cases were interesting, the city inviting, and her team the best. Plus, the lab's equipment wasn't all that shabby, either. No lies, Sidle. You know the real reason you stay in the city isn't the lab, but one hot scientist who sometimes is in that lab.
"Hello, this is KYC 3 hotline, if you're called to leave a review for tonight's airing of 'The Main Difference' press 1."
Beep
"You are our 12th caller! Congratulations, your review will be aired on tonight's show! If you have a camera/video phone feel free to send a video review, or your photo with an audio review. Please refrain from using profanities or suggestive language, as some of our viewers are of a young age…"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXThe group was all glued to the TV, but not paying attention to what was on it. The sound was off.
Greg shifted around on his stool, biting his nails. Warrick was staring through the television. Nick sat still and thoughtful, looking like he was miles away. Catherine kept sneaking peeks at Gil, and fidgeted, worried about Sara. She and the younger woman were not really friends, but she did have a certain fondness for Sara, and Gil was a good friend. It was a woman's intuition that told her they were meant to be and both to shy to really come out and say it.
Grissom just sat with his head still in his hands
When the show came back on nobody bothered to turn the sound back on. Grissom lifted his head, and was shocked to see Sara on the screen. She was still in Catherine's bathroom, and he could see the glint of a tear sliding down her cheek. His heart ached to know he caused that pain. She was saying something. He quickly glanced around the room and saw that for the moment no one was looking at the screen.
He gave her his full attention.
"Grissom." She was saying. " I know you aren't trying to hurt me. I'm sorry."
She paused for one breathtaking moment.
Then she signed in ASL, and said in English.
"Gil, I love you."
It was the first time she had called him by his first name.
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There. It was done. She had put it all out on the table.
Any regrets? She asked herself.
"No regrets."
Good. She allowed herself a grin.
There was a sudden knock on the bathroom door.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXNone of them noticed him get up, not even Catherine.
He slowly made his way down the hall toward the bathroom. He stopped in front of the door and took a moment to analyze his plan. There would be no regrets after this, he promised himself. You are going to dive in, and hold no single emotion back.
He took a deep breath, and knocked.
"Yes?" came the soft reply.
"Sara." The hoarse whispered was slow and sincere.
He heard the sound of footsteps.
The door opened and Sara Sidle stood in the doorway. For what seemed to be five years, five years of unsaid caresses and adorations, the two CSIs stared each other in the eye. Grissom's eyes burned into hers with an intensity that almost made her look away, but she held on. Finally, someone made the first move. And it was Grissom.
"I" He mouthed the letter, and signed the fist with the pinky up, and thumb over the three closed fingers.
"Love" Crossed arms across the chest, hands in fists.
"You" One hand out, palm up.
"Sara" He said this aloud, and the sign he made himself. The letter "s" on his heart.
She put her hand over her mouth and dragged in a sob. "Gil." She signed "g" on her heart.
In a flash, Sara was in his arms, and he couldn't be happier. Neither could she.
He pressed his face into her hair, and knew thing were going to be like this forever. He would never come home after a terrible case like tonight's and spent a sleepless day hopelessly finding distractions to keep his mind away from the cold, unloved corpses, or the fish bulletin board in his office. The ones that got away. This one didn't. Nothing in the world could be better.
No Regrets.
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Warrick made his way back to Catherine's living room in shock. His brain couldn't process what he'd just seen.
Sara and Grissom.
Wow.
Real wow. Usually they alienate themselves from each other. That was possibly the furthest thing from alienation.
As he sat down, Cath patted his knee and said. "It was fate. Bound to happen, Warrick. Just don't say anything to Ecklie. If you so much as look at them funny while passing in the hall I will hunt you down."
Nick gave a shudder from across the room.
Greg muttered something about a lost chance to the "Bug man".
And all was how it should be.