He can feel her breathing slow down after a minute or so. He thinks she's probably fallen asleep, as tired as she was, and as he turns around lightly, so to not wake her up if that was the case, he confirms his assumptions.
Closed eyes, mouth slightly open where the air entered and left as her chest heaved almost imperceptibly, she finally looked at peace. It was strange, Kano thought, to have someone to actually calm down when besides him. Why would anyone calm down when they were together with a monster?
He couldn't understand her.
But his selfish side said it was fine. Just while she was with him and didn't leave him alone, everything was ok and nothing else mattered. Leave her with a monster, just while it wasn't any other monster but him.
He sighs lowly as he keeps watching her, and can't help but think that even though he always think she's beautiful, it's nothing in comparison to now. Her hair is messy as ever, expression soft and relaxed -something more than rare to see when she's awake-, with a large tshirt that made her look smaller than she actually was, and black shorts that didn't hide much of anything. And, again, he thinks. How can someone be comfortable, dressed like that, with a monster like him near them? A monster that he never knows when it'll snap, and he might do something he regrets. He can see the scars around her arms and legs, and he wants to touch them, but knows that he can't. She hates them. She just wants everyone to pretend they don't exist. That they're not there to make her 'ugly'. She's not ugly, though. Not at all. She never was. And he's also sure that even when she's eighty, all rugged up and not so strong as she was once, he's sure he'll still think she's the most beautiful being in this earth.
Other than those thoughts, though, he feels at ease. Comfortable. She's with him, so everything will be alright. Even if he snaps, she'll always forgive him.
He gets distracted once again with her calm expression, and before he notices, his hand is already on her bangs, moving it behind her ear very carefully, and then he's caressing her cheek, his touch as light as feather. She doesn't move. Her breathing is still, expression relaxed as it was the first second he turned around. He's distracted once again, notices, and when he knows it, he's leaning forward, and then he's close, very, very close. Kano knows this is dangerous- he shouldn't be doing this to his pretty much sister, but the monster inside of him doesn't care. He doesn't care. He's having to deal with this everyday- urges like this everyday- wanting to just hug her close, make all those nightmares and haunt her everyday go away, kiss those lips until the warmness of those feelings he wants to much to tell her scare the bad dreams away.
Her breath and his are mixing together, now. Her breath doesn't smell like anything but the toothpaste she used. It's the same as he uses, but Kano doubts it is as nice on him as it is on her. It's a strange thought.
Then, her eyes are open. He's not sure since when she's looking at him, but it feels like it's been a while. She doesn't say anything, though. Nor tries to move away. Though she also isn't trying to move closer. She just stands there, looking at him, expectantly, and he can see a tiny bit of doubt in her eyes. She's waiting for him to cross the line. The thin invisible line that had always been between them. The thin fragile line that if not careful with, could make it all fall apart something that could be a huge beautiful castle.
And he does so. He leans in more and closes the distance between them.
It's nice, he thinks. Very nice. So much he's afraid that he's the one who's sleeping and this is nothing but a sweet dream. Her eyes are closed, and he feels the urge to close his, too. But he doesn't, afraid that it all might disappear if he does.
The kiss feels like it lasted forever, though he's sure it hasn't been more than a few seconds. It had been simple and hesitant, and he's already yearning for more and more of it.
When she opens her eyes again, he can't see doubt in them anymore, and he wonders if that's good. He supposes it is, though. He wants to ask if he can kiss her again, but at the same time doesn't want to break the silence they have between them. As if any noise would break the spell, and they'd be back to being siblings again, and they'd have to pretend this never happened, and it would never happen again. Kano doesn't want that. He'd rather die. Now that he's got to know how they feel, he just wants to keep doing that over and over and over and over until he can't breathe anymore and she can't breathe anymore and yet he'd still want to keep kissing her.
He's leaning in once again, and feels the slightest happy when he feels that she's leaning in too, looking as eager as he is to repeat the act. It's still awkward and hesitant, but it has a certainty now that makes it even better than it had been the first time. That they both wanted it, longed for it- that he hasn't been the only one to imagine how things like this would feel. That he hasn't been the only one pretending that he had never felt anything.
In the back of his mind, the monster speaks. It says that this is nothing but a lie- that his feelings are nothing but a lie, just like his whole self. At the moment, he doesn't believe, and shoves it all away. Because there's no way something strong as this is a lie, right?
They break away just for half a second, taking a quick gasp of air before their lips are smashing together once again, this time now deeper, their mouths moving together, still a bit shyly, and then breaking away before he can try to deeper it even more.
She's breathing quickly, now. It's dark and he can't see well, but he's so close he can see the bright red her face is on. She holds a scared glare, and he guesses that for today that's all he's getting. He knows he's right when she shuffles closer to him, resting her head on the crook of his neck, and he almost feels like he might snap. The warm breath against his neck sends shivers down his spine, and he can feel her lips touching the curve where his shoulder connected with his neck lightly, and he knows she's not doing that on purpose, but still it's difficult to hold himself back. But he does so, because he wants Kido to feel secure around him. More than she already was. Enough so she wouldn't mind repeating nights like this again.
His right arm is under his head, and his left goes over her figure, bringing her closer, and he feels her legs tangling with his. The position isn't all that uncomfortable. Totally the opposite. So much it doesn't take long for him to feel his eyes heaving, and as he feels her calming down, and now certain that she was asleep, it doesn't take much for him to pass out, too.