Yay. Tomorrow is the Day of Love -cue harp music-

Here's how I'm going to do this. The first chapter will be up today, but the rest of chapters are for tomorrow. Just consider it a 'teaser' kind of thing. Yay taunting you guys!

WARNING: This story is KrAzY

Vaati was in the middle of his usual morning routine that was reading a whole volume of books before breakfast. Included in the ritual was boarding up the door and windows, killing anyone who may slip past the latter, and an occasional evil laugh for a job well done, killing the minion. Vaati was on his sixth book already when yet another minion came to knock on the door. The purple-gray Wind Mage rolled his red eyes. If that minion gets in here, he thought, I'm blowing him up. The minion, however, could not get in and settled and banging on the door needlessly whilst making various miscellaneous noises, many which sounded like baby animals caught in a blender. Finally, Vaati could not take it anymore. He threw his book down on the ground carefully, and he went to the door to see what was so possibly important that he must be disturbed at this time of day. The pig-faced minion ceased his noise-making when Vaati opened the thick, wooden door.

"What the bloody hell do you want!" Vaati yelled. The minion began a horribly choreographed dance. Vaati watched skeptically. Then the minion took a bow signaling he was finished. He also snorted. Vaati gasped.

"That's today?" He put his hands onto his face. How could he forget today of all days? It was such a miscalculation on his part. Who knew this day could come so fast? It must be a paradox of some sort. Vaati's continuous circle pacing was starting to wear the floor down. The minion coughed into his hand; Vaati snapped out of it.

"You're right, useless minion. I haven't any time to waste!" Vaati sped down the hall.

Dark Link was walking in the opposite direction of Vaati sucking on a black sucker. Vaati sped by him almost knocking him down. The Dark Being scoffed.

"What's your big rush,Gay-Boy?"

The very idea that Dark Link thought he could disrespect him in his own castle was absurd! Vaati turned around angrily facing Dark Link with clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry. What did you call me?"

"Gay. So anyway, what's the big rush?" Dark Link asked again. It was amazing how he couldn't feel even a pinch of guilt. Vaati figured he might as well tell him.

"It's Valentine's Day, and I wanted to do something special for Zelda that would convince her that I'm the better choice."

Dark said nothing at first. He was surprisingly quiet. Vaati was sure Dark would have made a big fuss about the whole. Dark Link burst out laughing. Tears already started to make themselves present on the Dark Being's laughing face.

"Are you done yet?"

Dark Link shook his head. He was practically choking on his laughs. Vaati waited impatiently. Dark Link's laughter subsided after three more minutes. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"Dude, there are two things wrong with that plan. One, Zelda hates your guts. Two, I was down at Hyrule, and Link is planning on spending the whole day with her."

"WHAT?" Vaati yelled. "Why have I been wasting time with you! I have to go!" Vaati went back to sprinting down the hall. Dark Link shook his head as he watched the foolish purple boy go.

Link came out of the flower shop holding a bundle of red roses. They smelled divine, a sort of sweet-bitter mix. Link looked at the dew-dropped flowers. Wait. Would Zelda be mad if he gave her red roses, roses that symbolized love? Maybe he should get her yellow roses. Yeah, some nice friendship roses, but Link did like Zelda a lot. Link pondered his decision. As if called on by name, Malon passed the store with a cart of her famous Lon Lon Milk. She saw Link and smiled.

"Hi Link!"

"Hi Malon. Could I ask you a question?"

"Sure you can! Today is the day of love, so I'm doing anything for anybody!" Her smile was as bright as the sun; Link had to look away.

"Suuuure, so I was wondering, let's say I know this girl-"

"I'm a girl!" She giggled. Link made a face at her.

"Another girl," he said quickly. Malon's face went blank. "Okay, Malon, let's say there was this girl and I really liked her but she doesn't like me in the same way."

"Okay, I gotcha'! Another girl with feelings…"

"Yes…um, would I get her red roses for love or yellow for friendship?"

"OOH! I LOVE RED!" She jumped up and down excitedly. Link was instantly starting to regret asking for her help. Malon squealed.

"You should get both! Then it's like saying I'm you friend, but I wish to be more than that!" She kept jumping up and down. Link smiled. That was actually a pretty good idea considering who it was coming from but a very good idea nonetheless!

At the same time, Link was speaking with Malon, Vaati had transported himself to the flower shop. He took the owner and stuffed him in the back room, bound and gagged. Then very quickly, Vaati fashioned a disguise to wear. It was an ingenious plan he had formed. Link would come in for red roses, and well, he would be in for a surprise. Vaati chuckled to himself. He silenced himself when Link came back into the store. Vaati focused on the red roses in his hand.

"Um, sir, I know I was just in here, but I need some yellow roses too please."

"Agh! Yellow! What are you some kind of cheap sunnuva bitch?" Vaati faked a crazy accent.

"Excuse me?"

"You want to impress girl on day of love, you take her orange roses! They good luck with women! Very good! Mix with red, look bootifuel!"

"Oh thanks…" Link took the roses when Vaati shoved them at him. He smiled timidly. Vaati smiled devilishly.

"Now off with you! Impress your girl, little green boy!" Vaati called when Link left. He was out of sight now, so Vaati took off his fake moustache and beard and laughed loudly and evilly.

"Sir?" Link poked his head into the door. Vaati hurriedly put his disguise back on.

"Yes? What? I told you to go!"

"Well, I realized I forgot to pay you for the roses…"

"THEY ARE FREEE! GO NOW!" Vaati snapped. Link gulped and left with a quick, "yes, sir!" Vaati wiped his brow with the back of his hand. Surely it was okay to remove his disguise now. He went into the back where the shop owner was still tied up.

"Hey, buddy, I made a sale." Vaati said. The shop owner smiled through the gag. "Free of charge!" Vaati laughed. The shop keeper wriggled around screaming horrified yells. Vaati exited the shop still laughing, wearing another disguise, and trailing Link who surprisingly was not fazed by the laughing.

Now you have to wait for another 8 hours or so. I get up early :P

Oh, yeah, I couldn't resist making Malon ditzy. She seems like she would be ditzy unless you're talking to her about farm work or singing!