Introduction

When asked to find your deepest fear, your mind shuts down and your heart takes control. You stop thinking about what is right, and you start wondering what you feel. Thats whats so hard, putting aside heart and head.

When you've always been told to think a certain way, feel a certain way, it's hard for your emotions to ever get a chance. And then when you let them out for the first time, they stand in awe at the world, and finally take in what they've been missing. You finally think you've found what you've been looking for: happiness. You think your heart is complete, because now you can feel for the first time. Its like your first step, your first breath. It's enchanting, almost euphorical.

Until something bad happens. Something takes something away from you. Your emotions experience something more then just happy and glad. You start to see the bad in the world. You start to see the dark in people's hearts. You start to see just how blind you were now that your vision has cleared. Everything makes sense now, you now know why they told you not to feel.

Then it becomes good again, the bad is over. But you can't shake the deep pit in your heart that it can, and will happen again. You feel on edge, you feel anxious. You feel worried and confused, and your mind doesn't understand the blend of emotions running through. And your heart feels forever changed, pumping tainted blood through a scarred body. You experience fear.

Fear at a basic level. So then when asked what your deepest fear is, you think of what you felt for the first time, but worse. You think of how dark everything was, now you felt the never ending pit. How you wished for nothing more then it to end, before you lost control. You think of the thing that scares you the most.

Failure. My deepest fear, is the simplest one of them all. I am afraid of not being what I know I can be. Not reaching high enough, not running far enough, not jumping long enough. Not being what I know I can be, and what everyone expects me to be. Not doing everything right. Not making everyone proud. I am afraid of failure.

And when the thought crosses my mind, that I could fail at any given task. I get the pit. My mind clouds over. I start to feel a mix of emotions, I'm not sure what's the correct thing to feel . I franticly run through all the ways in my head to not fail, all of the ways in my head to make it right before it happens. Because I'm so deeply afraid of what will happen if I fail.

And thats why I haven't been able to sleep for the past month. That's why I haven't told anyone why I'm abnormally tired or grumpy at school. That's why I haven't gotten less then a perfect score on a test. Why I study more then I need to. Why I try more then I half to. Because I only have one test left, before its all over. And if I fail the coming test, there won't be anything in my future.

One more test, before I can breathe. Accept on this last test...there are no right answers.

Hey

So this is a rewrite of my story Lost and Found (you can read it if you want haha but I wouldn't) and it is based on a Divergent RP. So I will have to give character credits to Avidbookreader14, BlackMambaRebel, Can'tBeatCandor, and LilacDusts for some of the characters in the story. Anyways I hope you liked it, please leave a review I would totally appreciate it.

xoxo Queenbee19