Title: If You Will Have Me
Author: Katie
Story Summary: Post Season One Finale. Centers on Wolfgang & Kala. WIP.
Spoilers: Season One
Ratings: PG
Pairing: KalaGang
Authors Note: please read/review
Disclaimer: I don't own anything…at all…
Chapter One: Gasping For Breath
Riley holds Will close to her, mumbling a song in his ear, at the front of the boat – and for a long time, none of them move or speak. They just surround the couple, hoping to provide some comfort. After some time, Sun moves from her spot on the boat, and crosses to stand by Riley, dropping a gentle hand on her shoulder and she perches over her, "We will keep him safe" she promises solemnly.
Her words seem to unlock something in Riley, who manages only a small nod before she starts to cry. "I know" she hiccups, burying her face in Sun's shoulder. Capheus moves closer to them, trying to make her smile by telling her that 'Van Damme always comes back'. Little giggles mix in with her sobs.
They're all exhausted and more than a little terrified, and Riley's tears seem to set off a chain reaction. Nomi starts to sniffle then cry – not bothering to stifle her tears, Lito is pulling tears from the corners of his eyes – gesturing to the wind like something has blown into his eye whenever one of the others looks at him, Capheus's eyes are glassy but he's still trying to make Riley smile so he won't let his tears fall just yet, Kala sits perfectly still while big crocodile tears fall silently down her cheeks. Wolfgang and Sun lock dry eyes from across the boat, silently promising each other and themselves that they will do whatever it takes to protect their cluster – their family.
Kala watches Riley hold Will until she fears that her sadness will overwhelm her and she stands, turning around to see Wolfgang behind her. She stands still for a moment, worried that he'll disappear from in front of her, but he only looks back at her. She crosses the few steps that separate them and comes to a stop when they are only a step or so apart, placing her hand on his chest.
Wolfgang truly believes that keeping his distance is the best thing for Kala, for so many reasons; her safety, his past, and how completely unworthy he is of a woman like her are among those reasons. But, now, in this moment, after what they've all been through, she's standing in front of him, with fear etched into her features and tear stains on her cheeks, looking at him like he holds some kind of salvation, and he can't find in within himself not to pull her into his arms. He feels her give a half sob of relief and wind her arms under his jacket and around his waist, he wraps one arm around her waist while the other disappears in her hair. He turns his head to kiss her temple and whispers nonsensical platitudes in her ear, hoping that something among the 'it's okay's and 'we'll figure it out's will help her find comfort. He hears her sniffle against his chest and pulls her a little closer, "It's okay, I've got you, you're okay" he whispers into her hair. She lets out a choked sob and fists her hand in his t-shirt. He keeps whispering to her, moving his hand from her hip, to run up and down her back in a way that he hopes is comforting.
Sven comes back to check on Riley, handing her a bottle of water with a warm, concerned, smile. She gives him a shaky smile in return. Sven doesn't understand what is going on, or who the American boy in Riley's arms is, but all eight of them can feel the love he has for Riley and are grateful for his willingness to help without asking questions. He disappears not long later, going to another part of the boat, offering Riley her privacy.
Riley waits a moment before swallowing thickly and speaking, "I don't…what are we going to do?" she looks around. All of the sensates look at her, Kala turns in Wolfgang's arms – keeping her hand on Wolfgang's arm while she looks at Riley. "We can't just leave him…" Riley trails off, looking between the members of the cluster.
"I could…" Kala clears her throat, trying to banish the thick tears from her voice, "I can try to find a drug combination to make it safe to wake him – to make it so Whispers can't find him or us" she's quiet for a moment, "Maybe we could even find Whispers" she says it quietly, unsure of that's even what they want. Wolfgang squeezes her wrist reassuringly, and she melts back against his solid frame.
Capheus turns his head sharply, reacting to something they can't see. He turns back with an apologetic smile, looking at Riley when he speaks "My mother," he gestures to where she must be "I need to make sure that she takes the medications on time"
"Go" Riley whispers, smiling while tears dry on her cheeks.
"I will see you soon" he promises with his hand on her shoulder. He disappears as she nods.
"You should all go…get some rest" Riley says, looking around at them, "It's been a long few days" she adds, resting her hand on Will's cheek when he coughs a little. "Besides," she adds shakily, "I'm sure I'll need your help again soon enough" she shrugs one shoulder.
They all cast looks at each other, none of them wanting Riley to be alone just yet. "I will stay" Sun says, smiling warmly at Riley, "If you will have me" she adds, inclining her head just slightly.
It's enough to pull a small laugh from Riley who nods, "Of course".
One by one, they go to Riley. Saying goodbye before they go back home. Kala holds Wolfgang's arm tight for a moment, taking comfort in his strength, before going to Riley and holding her close. She knows that she is terrible for thinking it, but as she looks at Will, she can't help but be thankful that this didn't happen to Wolfgang – she's sure that she couldn't handle it as well as Riley seems to be. Knows that she might not even have had the chance – knows that Wolfgang might have (would probably have) chosen to shoot himself rather than drug himself…knows she couldn't have handled that. "We'll find a way to help him, Riley, I promise" she says, feels Riley nod against her shoulder.
Kala stand, pulling her hair out of her face, she makes eye contact with Wolfgang before she disappears. Wolfgang crosses to Riley – he wants to comfort her, feels for her like he thinks he would a sister, like he thinks you're supposed to think of family (his perspective on family is a little skewed) but he does not know how to comfort her, though he'd like to. Riley looks up at him, takes his hand and smiles when he squeezes hers in return. He nods a little as he goes.
When Wolfgang comes back to himself, in a chair by Felix's bed, he's not surprised to find Kala there, by the window, watching Berlin's activity below her. He stands, walks to the window and stops about a foot from her.
They're quiet for a long moment, before Kala turns to face him fully. She opens her mouth to speak, but he beats her to it, by less than a second.
"I meant what I said, at the mansion, Kala, you cannot be here. I only put you in danger, and I…I could not live if something happened to you because of me." He looks over at Felix and she knows that he is blaming himself for what happened to Felix.
"Wolfgang, we -" she starts, sounding exasperated, but he cuts her off.
"I can't, Kala. You cannot be with a -" this time it's the jingle of the doorknob that cuts him off. Felix's doctor walks in and that coupled with the fact that Wolfgang had been trying to push Kala out to begin with is enough to send her home to Mumbai, he sees the hurt cross her face as she disappears.
Over the next few weeks, Kala works closely with Riley, and they discover that they can keep Will awake, if they also keep him slightly off kilter, which they do mostly with nitrous oxide. It's not a perfect solution, not by far, but it's progress. And Kala is determined to keep looking until she finds a way to let him wake fully.
The cluster holds periodic 'meetings' where the seven of them (it's too dangerous for Will to fully connect) gather and discuss important goings on. They're the only time Kala sees Wolfgang, she hates that.
This meeting is just coming to an end. They're mostly just chatting at this point. Lito is making all kinds of plans for Nomi and Amanita, as they are due to arrive in Mexico City the next morning. The seven of them are gathered by the window in Felix's hotel room – it was Wolfgang's turn to 'host' and he refused to leave his brother. Kala needed to get him alone, wanted to talk to him. She had made a decision, and wanted to talk to him, tell him about it before it came to pass instead of letting it shock him. She walked over to him, placing a hand on his arm, and once he looks at her she takes a deep, steading breath before opening her mouth to speak.
All at once there is a flurry of activity in the room. Machines start beeping and doctors rush in. Wolfgang rushes to Felix's bedside, demanding answers with a shaky voice. The rest of the cluster stands behind him, silently offering comfort and support.
Suddenly, without opening his eyes, Felix starts to sputter and gasp. Wolfgang lets out a confused cry before he can stop himself. Kala stands behind him, praying to all the Gods she can think of that this means the Felix is going to be okay.
The doctor's work while Wolfgang watches, struggling between wanting to give them space to work and wanting to watch over Felix. "Guys, maybe we should…"Lito jerks his head to one side in a 'let's go' gesture. Lito drops a hand to Wolfgang's shoulder, squeezing a little before disappearing, Capheus does the same. Sun holds his wrist, just for a moment before going. Nomi makes brief eye contact with Wolfgang, "he'll be okay" she promises before going. Riley is next, wrapping both her arms around Wolfgang, though he does not respond – it'd be comical if the situation was different, the small blonde girl wrapping her arms around Wolfgang at the middle, momentarily trapping his arms at his sides - she smiles a little, reassuringly, before she goes. Kala lingers behind, moving to stand next to him, watching them work on Felix. For a while, she's not sure that he realizes that she's stayed, but then his knuckles brush hers between them and then his palm is pressed against hers, fingers intertwining together. She squeezes his hand and moves closer to him, pressing her cheek to his shoulder, "It's going to be okay, he's going to be okay" she whispers, her mind flashes to the boat, to him comforting her. She hopes she's doing as well as he did, doubts it.
A doctor tells Wolfgang that Felix needs immediate surgery and that he should wait here for another doctor and paperwork, and all at once they leave, wheeling Felix out of the room, leaving him shocked into place next to Kala. He turns into her waiting embrace. She holds him for a long moment, before he seems to remember his resolve to keep away from her and he straightens up. He starts to turn away, but she catches his wrist, "Wolfgang, I know this isn't the best time" she shakes her head a little, "But I need to tell you, and this might be the only chance" he nods for her to continue, "Tomorrow, I intend to -" she starts but is cut off by a doctor that can't see her.
"Mr. Bogdanow, if you'll follow me" he says, turning and walking out, with the expectation that Wolfgang will follow. He gives Kala an apologetic look; she nods in understanding before Wolfgang follows the doctor out.
She comes back to herself, sitting cross-legged on her bed at home. She decides that she has put what she wants on hold for too long, and that she'll go ahead with tomorrow. She's regretful that it will be a surprise to Wolfgang, but she doubts she'll be able to connect again with everything going on.
Hours of exploratory surgery later, the doctors tell Wolfgang that something ruptured in Felix's chest and that he'll have to spend the day in a series of surgeries. He's numb when he drops into a chair in the hallway, as close to the surgical unit as he can be. He tells the cluster what is going on, and then he blocks them out. It's not something he does often, that any of them do often, being blocked causes a terrible headache, and he knows it causes them worry as well, but he needs to be alone with this for a little while, to process his own thoughts before moving on to other peoples.
He spends his day alternating between pacing the hallway, fidgeting impatiently in the chair by the surgical ward doors, and pacing in Felix's room; the only place he has any privacy.
It's about three in the morning – roughly 27 hours since he heard Felix gasp for breaths that he hope won't be among his last – and Wolfgang hasn't slept at all. Which is why, when he rounds the corner to the hallway, headed to the chair by double doors marked 'surgery' in six different languages, he's not at all surprised to find Kala sitting in the chair next to the one he's claimed for the day. He sighs a little, dropping into the chair next to her and placing his vending machine coffee on the small table off to the other side of his chair.
"I'm sorry I blocked everyone out – it's been for longer than I intended. I'm just…" he trails off, waving his hand in the air, gesturing to indicate the situation. Kala nods understandingly. "How did you break through?" He asks, tilting his head to one side a little, not angry – seeing Kala had flooded him with an unexpected sense of relief – but curious.
She smiles; "Actually" she starts, and breaks off, laughing self-consciously. For the first time, he picks up on her nervousness and grown concerned.
"Oh, good honey, you found him" a middle age nurse says, smiling broadly while walking down the hallway. His eyebrows furrow together in confusion, he's the only one there – he opens his mouth to ask her what she's talking about, when Kala's voice fills the air instead.
"I did, thank you" she smiles. The nurse gives them a nod before continuing past them and into the surgical ward.
Kala's eyes bounce all around, before settling on him nervously. He stares back at her, completely slack-jawed. He sees now that there is a duffle bag shoved under her chair and nervous energy is rolling off of her in thick waves.
"I was…I was going to tell you" She says quickly, her words crashing into one another. She sounds worried, like she's fearful that he's going to be angry with her. She launches into an explanation, he can barely understand her, with how fast she's speaking, but it doesn't matter – he isn't really listening anyway, he's too busy trying to comprehend that she is in front of him, truly in front of him.
He raises his hand to cup her cheek and the moment that he touches her, she gasps, her head lulls back, the base of her skull resting for a moment on his fingertips, before her head lulls forward and her forehead presses clumsily to his. Their backs arch just slightly, and their breathing becomes heavy and labored as each moment they've shared seems to flash around them, somehow simultaneously – like being in the middle of a room while movies are projected on each wall with incredible surround sound. She is him and he is her and Kala feels everything he feels for her (all his fears and doubts, a love for her that terrifies him) while Wolfgang knows all that she feels for him (worry, her insecurities, an unbridled love that leaves him breathless).
When the whirlwind dies down, and they comeback to themselves, they're both gasping greedily for breath they can't seem to catch. Kala's check is still cradled in Wolfgang's palm, their foreheads still pressed together. Kala breathes out a smile and reaches her hand up, letting it rest for a moment on Wolfgang's shoulder before sliding it up to touch his cheek, fingertips tracing his eyes. When his lips meet hers, it's like gravity – neither of them knows who initiated it but they're both consumed by it.