Title: Bragging Rights
Author: S J Smith
Rating: High Teen
Summary: When the Elric brothers come to visit, things always get noisy.
Disclaimer: These are Arakawa's characters, not mine. Drat it.
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The sun burned down over Rush Valley, and Winry wiped her forehead with the back of her glove. It wasn't even noon, but the valley captured the heat and it reflected off the buildings and the surrounding rock. It didn't seem to make a difference to Paninya, who whistled shrilly from the top of a building two down, waving when Winry looked up at her. "You have visitors!" she shouted through her cupped hands.
There were only two people Paninya considered 'visitors', and Winry swore she could hear them squabbling from two blocks away. Rolling her eyes, she waited on the stoop to her shop for the pair. "What is it now?"
"Ed's stupid," Al said, coming up to give her a hug.
"So what else is new?" Winry grinned over Al's shoulder at her betrothed, who gnashed his teeth at her.
"You're supposed to take my side! We're engaged now!" Winry was surprised he didn't stomp his feet like a little kid.
She threw her hands in the air. "I don't even know what you're arguing about this time!"
"He won't tell you," Al sing-songed, moving aside so Winry could greet Ed properly. He'd gotten good at hugs, but that was about as far as Ed went in public.
"Al!" Ed snapped, even as he wrapped Winry in a hug, rubbing his cheek against hers. "I missed you," he breathed in her ear.
"I missed you, too," Winry told him before they stepped away from each other, though Ed kept hold of her hand. "So, what were you two arguing about?" she asked, tugging him toward the door, Al following behind after waving at Paninya.
Glancing sideways, Ed mumbled something while Al snickered. "Tell her, Brother."
"No!" Ed showed teeth again. "It's not something she needs to know."
"Are you sure? I think it's important!" Al's huge grin told Winry he was going to say whatever it was, he was just working Ed up.
Why did they have to do this all the time? Put Elrics together, and the whole sibling rivalry thing started up. "Geeze, Ed, just let him say it."
"You don't need to hear it, Winry!" His eyes were narrowed to little slits and he was showing all his teeth.
"I think she does," Al said, showing just as many teeth.
"Would you two cut it out! I'm not putting up with you two bickering the entire time you're here." Winry folded her arms, all but daring them to argue with her.
"He started it!" Ed howled, waving his hand at Al.
"Only because you're such a prude!"
He steamwhistled. "I am not!"
Putting her little fingers in the corners of her mouth, Winry blew a sharp blast, making both Elrics slap their hands over their ears.
"Damn it, Winry, I told you to stop doing that!"
"I'll stop doing it when you two stop squabbling!" Winry glared and Ed sulked, while Al beamed his happiest smile. "All right, you guys need to tell me, now, what it is this time." When Ed gritted his teeth, she yelled, "Now!"
The sound of both their voices as they spoke at once created nothing but a wall of noise, and Winry felt like threatening them with violence. Instead, she counted to three – as far as she could stand to count, with all the racket – and shouted, "One at a time!" She pointed at Al, ignoring Ed's irritated pout.
Triumphant, Al said, "Ed and I were comparing notes on the way here. Did you know," he leaned closer to Winry, "that I had sex almost six months earlier than Brother?"
Ed made a sound that only dogs should've been able to hear. "Al! I said Winry didn't need to hear that!"
"Only because you're a prude!" Al shouted over him.
"Well, at least I've got a bigger dick!"
"No, you are the bigger dick!"
That was it. Winry grabbed Ed's ponytail and tugged, hauling him back. "You two need to cut it out! Ed's right, Al, I didn't need to know you had sex six months before we did – ew!" She shuddered and Ed smirked proudly, looping his arm around her shoulders, even though he had to give her a snarl for pulling his hair. "And you!" She elbowed him in the ribs, making him hiss and curse. "I don't need to know you're…better endowed than Al."
"I am," Ed said, even more smugly.
Al rolled his eyes.
"Well," Winry planted her hands on her hips, intent on nipping this in the bud, "I already know who's got the biggest dick I've ever seen, and it isn't either of yours." She wagged a finger between them. "And before you ask, it belongs to a certain Xingese prince."
The resounding squeals could've broken glass.
Good thing Winry dealt in metals.
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