Well, ya see... I found this thread on livejournal where we give each other prompts, write little ficlets and then give another prompt. It's a lot of fun, and I just started posting in it. So, I decided I would start posting my contributions to the thread on this site as well. ;)

If you would like to read fics by the other great people as well, I'll be putting the link to the thread on my profile page.

Prompt: "You know that girl you've been chatting up all night? That's not a girl."
Characters: Ace, Thatch, OC

Portgas D. Ace walked into the tavern with one goal in mind (after filling his stomach, of course). Let's face it, he was a young man who had certain... needs. Needs that sure as hell weren't going to be filled aboard Oyaji's ship, if he had any say in the matter. It wasn't that the nurses or other female crew members weren't attractive, it was just... they were supposed to be, like, his sisters. So, for that reason, Ace left the Moby Dick the first chance he got, giving the excuse that he had "things to do". No one questioned him; he was a grown man and a pirate. He could do whatever the hell he wanted so long as he didn't do something to piss off Oyaji... or Marco. Some may not realize this, but Marco was one scary son of a bitch when he got angry.

As Ace entered the tavern, he found it to be exactly like any other he'd been in before. Men were loud, drunk or getting there. A musician was at the piano, pounding out notes in order to be heard above the racket. The tune kind of reminded him of a sea shanty he'd heard the other Whitebeard Pirates sing at parties, but he couldn't place it... Something about sake and a guy named Binks. The lighting in the place was dim, but that didn't bother Ace any. He didn't exactly want to be recognize at the moment, least of all by some Marine that happened to pop in due to a bar-fight (and Ace swears up and down he didn't start the last one; no one on the ship believed him).

There were only a few women in the bar, for reasons Ace figured were obvious, but he managed to spot a few who weren't being harassed by the other men. While the chivalrous method would probably get him laid, Ace wasn't planning on starting a fight that would draw unnecessary attention. Why? Because Marco was a scary son of a bitch when pissed off. As Ace continued to glance around the tavern, he spotted a young woman sitting alone in the corner. She looked good. He wondered briefly why she wasn't with anyone or being harassed as he nonchalantly walked towards her table.

"Are you waiting for someone?" he asked politely, earning a coy smile from the woman.

"I could be waiting for you, if you want?" she answered. Ace figured she was a professional, but he liked the sound of that tonight. It could be quick, no strings attached.

Ace proceeded to spend the evening flirting with the young woman, still wondering how in the hell other men were staying away from her that night. She said his sweet-talking would get him far if he kept it up, so he did. And she continued to lead him on, just like a professional of her trade would do. As the night grew darker, Ace and the woman (whose name he'd never asked for) stood to go somewhere a bit more private. That was when he saw Thatch, with that damned grin wide across his face.

"Excuse me for a minute." The woman nodded and watched him walk towards the blond who was trembling with laughter.

"Having fun?" he asked once Ace neared him.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"You should be thanking me. You were about to make a great mistake."

"Enlighten me."

"You know that woman you've been talking to all night?"

"Yeah," Ace answered irritably. Really, Thatch, he just wanted to get in, get laid, and get out. Was that too much to ask?

"That's not a woman." That stopped Ace in his tracks and he whirled around to look at the 'woman' he'd been speaking to. She was now standing under direct lighting and he could see the broad shoulders, the stuffing in the dress, the beginnings of a five-o-clock shadow. Ace suddenly felt like he'd been dumped in a tub of ice; his sex drive had evaporated.

"Excuse me while I go throw up."

Thatch could no longer hold his laughter as he watched the young lad run out of the tavern with a speed he didn't think humanly possible. Oh, it was such fun messing with the new guy...

You would not believe how much fun I had writing this. Poor Ace... lol. I figured, since Thatch seems to get quite a bit of fandom abuse (though we love him so), I'd show him dealing out the abuse for once. lol. Please R&R.