Hiya! New story!
... not actually sure if the last fic actually deserves a sequel, but I made one anyways? Hope thats okay :p So, yes, this is a sequel to my older fic, 'The Beginning of Plus Rien'. I would highly recommend you read that first if you're interested, since I tried to make this a seperation story so you wouldn't have to read it's descendant... but I failed miserably. I'm sorry :( I also wanted to take my time on this one, since I'm not particularily fond of the writing of the last one (though, I doubt this story is much different, to be perfectly honest :p) I had to re-read it for certain character backgrounds,and I was cringing. I can't re-read my past work. Dunno why, hmmph! :p Anyone else have this problem?
And because I was evil, I actually did have this planned to be written when I updated the last story, so I was going to thank everyone's reviews from the last chapter on this story, instead of PMs. I am so sorry for not thanking you guys sooner, I thought this would have been up by now :( So, that being said, thank you to Barbed Wire Halo, CrAzCookyTash12, amrice101, Love and Heartz, StuckOnBTR13, VampyricDemonHobo, EverlastingRusher, ForTheLoveOfUrie, Tete93, and lastly Just Fetching for the wonderful reviews! I love you all for taking the time to write them!
My goal was to post this when I was done chapter 8-10 of this story, and I succeeded. I have no idea how you guys can post chapters one at a time. I can't do it. I re-edit so much. If I didn't, this story would have turned out so differently and into something I didn't like. Aka, I have so much respect for people who can write and post new chapters without the next written, and still do it well (aka, everyone on this site!). I applaud you... Okay, A/N over. Tell me how I do with the sequel? Maybe? Please? Also, sorry for any spelling errors!
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush
In the times of their great ancestors, Paradise could be seen as a Heaven, or even the Garden of Eden. A perfect Sanctuary, filled to the brim with luscious beauty, serenity, and perfect harmonization of your own personal needs. It's a state of delight and ideal loveliness.
In other words, Paradise was your own personal area of perfection.
5 years had passed since the boys were 19 years of age, young, alone and scared as they were being taunted by President Diamond and his soldiers. But that was 5 long years ago. Time had passed and bonds had been made.
The boys now lived in what they believed to be perfection. An open, free space where the sun bore down, and mountains continued to rise and living volcanoes never seemed to erupt.
In reality, there is no such thing as perfection, a haven or a paradise.
But they were close enough to it.
5 years had lingered along slowly, and yet the nightmares of the past still haunted each and every one of them.
"Ahhh! No, get away, get away from them!" Carlos shouted uncontrollably, trapped in the world of his horrific nightmares filled with dark memories.
Logan, sharing a room with the Latino, was the first to wake up. He bolted out of his warm bed and flew over to his thrashing friend. Slamming the palms of his hands against the Latino's shoulders, he was somehow able to keep him down before Carlos do any damage, to either himself or those around him.
"Carlos, come on buddy. It's just a nightmare, wake up. It's alright." Logan cooed to his trembling friend, who remained screaming at the feeling of someone or something holding him down.
Within his nightmare, he couldn't escape. He couldn't get away from what he was running from.
As the shorter Latino screamed Bloody Mary from his bed with Logan sweating away in fear, Kendall and James burst into the room, which only relieved Logan's stress a little. Kendall, clad in nothing but a simple pair of boxers, jumped onto the bed, holding down the Latino's shoulder along with Logan. Worry was apparent in all their eyes.
Nightmares were a regular thing in their household, like thundershowers in a rainforest, it was just something consistent and continued on happening.
The boys rarely ever talked about the nightmares they experienced, but as friends, they were always there, holding the other to create some sort of peace. Sometimes, all they needed was knowing that someone cared and was beside them when they themselves felt lost.
Carlos, being the positive man he was, was usually the one to have the least amount of nightmares, so when he experienced the terrors at night, the worry each one of the boys usually felt only increased.
James, wearing a pair of black pyjama pants, rubbed Carlos' knee gently, trying to use kind words in a soft voice along with Logan and Kendall to bring him back to reality.
"Carlos, hey come on, buddy. It's only a dream, it's okay. Shh, shhh..." James soothed gently.
The Latino's fearful screams began to slow down, tears dripping down his red cheeks. As soon as he settled down, his large brown eyes, still holding that child-like innocence, began to flutter open, peering into the dark world around him.
The first thing he noticed were his friends by his side.
"H-hey, guys..." He huffed out between sobs. The nightmare had been so vivid and real, it was almost as if it was actually happening. Those were the ones Carlos hated the most.
He couldn't tell the difference between the dreams and reality.
"Are you okay?" Kendall asked, fear etched in his eyes.
"I-I will be," Carlos managed, removing a few tears of the tears stains with his right hand. "I'll be okay, I promise."
Logan sighed loudly, putting his own hand towards Carlos' forehead, scared that the Latino may be coming down with something.
"Carlos, this is the third time this month that this has happened. Between all four of us, you're the one to never get nightmares. What's going on? You can tell us." Logan said gently.
Carlos propped himself higher on the bed, his back resting against the headboard. He shrugged his shoulders, having no real reason as to why he might be experiencing nightmares.
All he knew was that it made him lack sleep, and he hated it when he lacked sleep, so whatever was causing these nightmares needed to stop right now.
"I don't know, Logan. If I did know, I would tell you guys, you know that."
"What are the nightmares about, 'Los? Maybe that could help?" Kendall offered, patting his shoulder.
In the darkness, Carlos smiled a little as his heartbeat returned to semi-normal.
"I- it's not pleasant, guys. So if you don't want to hear about it, that's fin-"
"Just say it, Carlos." James ordered none too harshly.
Carlos let out a loud sigh, "Fine," He pouted like a child who didn't get his way. This brought a small chuckle from his friends before they came down to the serious matter.
"I- I just keep having these images of my parents, when they were sick, you know? They always looked so pale, so needy. Their breathing was even off. It was scary. But in the dream, before they died the Soldiers invaded our apartment, taking them away. I always try and follow them, but I can never find them, and the soldiers just laugh, and begin chasing me, saying that I have the same fate as my parents. I needed to die because it was my fault that they did. I always run in the same direction, and end up in an alleyway where Jett and President Diamond are holding a gun over my parents... Ya, not pretty, I know... But just before they do anything, one of you guys always wake me up before it can get worse. You guys save me from witnessing my parent's death again..." and with that, Carlos felt a fresh fit of sobs wracking his body, tears breaking away as he cried away fitfully.
"Ohh, Carlos." Kendall hummed, bringing in the Latino for a hug. James and Logan followed, embracing their friend until he finally dozed off, only minutes later from exhaustion. His soft snores echoed in the room, bounding gently from wall to wall.
Logan exhaled, feeling Carlos' head once more for any potential fever, and happily finding out that there was none.
He walked over to his own bed, resting his head on the pillow as he watched James and Kendall have a conversation through whispers.
"This keeps happening, guys." Logan spoke up, tearing Kendall and James away from their own private conversing. James nodded his head in agreement, soon joining Logan on his bed as Kendall quickly followed.
"I don't know what to do. Carlos doesn't usually suffer nightmares."
Kendall glanced between James and Logan, rubbing his eyes as sleep began to take over once again. He had been woken up so abruptly, he never was fully able to get the fatigue away.
Shrugging, Kendall coolly replied, "We'll just be here for him. Like every time something goes wrong with us." Kendall let a small laugh emit from his lips, even though there was nothing near funny with what he said.
James grabbed his hand, squeezing it kindly. "We'll sleep here tonight. Kendall, get the pillows, I'll get mattress."
Carlos jolted in his sleep, whimpering slightly. All the boys sighed. This was going to be a long night.
They all woke 4 times after they retrieved the mattress, Carlos having one other nightmare, which only seemed to trigger both James and Logan. It was a thrilling factor when each other boys, save Kendall, experience a horrific night terror, and getting absolutely no sleep in a single night.
When Kendall, James, and Logan woke for the last time, it was nearing 9 am. Carlos was nowhere to be seen, only leaving a note stating that he was off to the beach, meeting up with his current love interest.
Carlos had had a long string of bad affairs after he found his (ex)-fiancée cheating on him 3 weeks before the wedding. It shocked everyone, but no one was more hurt than Carlos. Ever since then, the short haired male had trouble keeping a girlfriend, in fear that she would end up hurting him in the end like his one love had done before.
James woke up, his hunger forcing him from the warmth of the bed and his boyfriends unconscious arms. He got up, laying a cute kiss to Kendall's forehead, in return for the blond suffering through his screams for the duration of the night. The blond's eyes blinked awake warily, and a soft groan emitted from his lips as he snuggled back into the warmth of the blanket.
The kiss James used to awake Kendall was sweet and loving, which was the exact opposite of his awakening of Logan. He trudged next to Logan's bed, playfully whacking the genius on the head with his palm, forcing him into his state of consciousness.
"Get up, we need to make breakfast." James scolded.
Logan groaned in frustration. This happened to be one of his very few days off from his internship at the hospital, and he was hoping to acquire some much needed sleep.
Apparently fate wasn't with him today.
... Or ever.
"Do it yourself." He mumbled against his pillow.
James rolled his eyes, hitting Logan playfully once again. "I would love to, except you and Kendall grounded me from using the kitchen for a month, after the pizza catastrophe of last week, remember?"
Oh, Logan remembered. There was flour, dough, fire and smoke everywhere. James even managed to burn the pot of boiling water (physically impossible, which causes Logan to believe that James put a chemical in the pot that wasn't supposed to be there- to this day, James testifies as falsely accused to that specific statement... Just what was James boiling water for when he was making pizza, anyways, Logan always wondered but never dared asked).
It took 3 repair men and 5 days of nonstop cleaning to get the kitchen back to its original, working state.
James had only been trying make pizza...
When Logan didn't move, James sighed and walked out of the shared bedroom for the evening.
"Well, if you want a repeat of last week, I guess I'll just start cooking then!" James sung from the kitchen, as he began rummaging through random pots and pans that were discarded in the cupboards.
Both Logan and Kendall shot up, flinging out of their beds when they heard James begin to turn on the stove and crack eggshells against a bowl.
"We're up, We're up! Step out of the kitchen, Pretty boy. We'll make breakfast." It was Logan who spoke, and it was Kendall who slyly placed his arms around the brunet and dragged him out of the kitchen and out onto the balcony, away from potential danger and into the safety and warmth of the sun.
Of course, James only smiled. His rather devious plan of forcing his friends awake had been a success.
The warm breeze hit the two quickly, sending shivers down both of their spines from the lack of clothes.
Kendall walked James over to the ledge, holding him lovingly while pressing him against the metal bar allowing no route of escape. He suddenly pressed his lips against the skin behind the brunet's ears.
James shot up an eyebrow, realizing that this was Kendall's method of saying 'we need to talk'... James could only sigh, having a guess about what the blonde wanted to talk about for the umpteenth time this month alone.
Kendall bit his lip, squeezing his arms a little tighter against James' skin.
"I heard you the other night in the bathroom... Um, throwing up, Jamie. And you were whimpering again- in your sleep... Are you- I guess what I'm trying to say is-
James wanted to let out a laugh, knowing Kendall sucked with confrontations, but the subject matter held him back.
"Are you okay?" Kendall whispered soothingly, watching the blue waves crash against the golden beach a few acres away.
The brunet hated himself momentarily from being caught again, but he fought for control over the situation. He shook his head, the blond's stubble tickling him against the nape of his neck where Kendall happened to be kissing him.
"No, it was the same old, same old. President Diamond, his alliances, Jett, just- everything..." He said, talking solely on the nightmare, rather than the nightmare and... the other things.
"So the usual?" Kendall prompted.
James sighed, two small birds flying from luscious tree to luscious tree singing away with all their hearts contempt's.
"The usual."
"You can talk to me about it anytime, you know that. I'd rather you tell me every horrifying detail, then listening to you have your nightmares... Or... the other method."
James sighed, frustration and a lack of sleep getting to him in a second.
" You know my father was right, Kendall." James snapped, his tone loud and accusing from the night of no sleep. The outburst had been so sudden to the extent that the blond almost took his arms away from James' sides. He did flinch, but he stayed where he was, deciding not to leave James.
"No one will ever want me if I'm fat... And I don't want you ever having sex with some fat ass pig. I just need to keep it under control..."
Kendall knew that it wasn't the idea of fat that kept James continuing his methods of binge eating, purging and even fasting for days on end. It was the feel of it. Whenever James began to feel less than human, he did things that were seen as self-destructive to show himself he could feel; he was still a human and not some object for his Father's games. Kendall had been trying for years to show James that he didn't need to hurt himself, but old habits die hard, Kendall guessed, as it was still continuing.
"You're beautiful, James. Handsome, amazing, fucking hot as shit, appearance wise. Just- you don't need to do that."
James sighed, falling back against Kendall's torso, never responding to the conversation they seemed to repeat weekly over the past 5 years.
Kendall could only imagine what the brunet's throat looked like.
It was a bright and sunny day in paradise, of course. The weather, for Hawaii, was cooler than average as the cold winds from the oceans began to his the island.
Kendall felt the goosebumps appear on his practically naked skin, only leading him to tighten his hold around the warm body in front of him. "Come on, let's get inside. It's cold and I don't want you getting sick... Also, Logan might kill us for being out here so long."
The brunet held in his laugh, but decided to roll his eyes dramatically instead.
"In other words, you're cold and regretting wearing your boxers to bed and want to get changed into warmer clothes, THUS using me as a way to help you with your needs, all the while guilt tripping me."
"Of course, Babe." Kendall laughed, knowing no harm was done between the two.
"Well then, Kendall, let's get inside. Since I don't want to be the one catching a cold out here, like you said." He said with a wink.
Kendall let go of James' body and taking the brunet's hand in his, he began to walk back into the safety of their home.
"What do you think Logan's making anyways?" James asked, biting his lip with minor anxiety. Kendall picked up on his sudden worry, and rubbed his thumb lovingly.
They entered through the patio door, and Kendall took a whiff of the fresh air.
"My guess is French Toast." Immediately, Kendall turned to James and laughed, which only made James fur his well defined eyebrows together.
The brunet was severely wondering if Kendall was going insane.
"What?" He asked after a few minutes of Kendall's soft giggles.
"Just- everytime we have French Toast, it reminds me how far we've come. I mean, that was yours and mines first meal, wasn't it?"
James looked up at the ceiling in thought, it had been over 5 years ago, how was he supposed to know what the first thing they ate together was? Thankfully for his relationship and Kendall, he did remember after a few sombre seconds.
To Kendall, this sort of thing was like an anniversary. It is incredibly special, and if James were to forget it, hell would be paid.
And for James, hell being paid meant not getting anything for at least a week and a half.
"Ya, ya I guess you're right... It was good too, best meal I had in ages when you made it for me." James replied with a wink to the blond, who just copied James and rolled his eyes.
"Ya, right. 3 pieces of soggy French Toast and a browning banana... Did we even have maple syrup?"
James shrugged his shoulders, watching as Logan skilfully flipped over a piece of bread in the frying pan.
"No idea, but I remember it being good. It definitely won me over."
"What? I thought it was my charm that won you over." Kendall said playfully and as if he were deeply hurt by James' words, eyes big as he made the repulsive puppy dog face that James loved to hate.
"No way, Knight. I'm dating you for your cooking."
Kendall laughed, hitting James in the shoulder a little bit roughly, making James hiss slightly at the contact.
"You'll regret saying that, Diamond."
"Meh, you love me. And as long as I give you the puppy dog face, that I can actually do, unlike you, you'll bow to my ever command."
"You make it sound like I'm whipped."
"You are."
"And you aren't, babe?"
"Touché."
"Love you, James." Kendall said suddenly, and James suppressed a laugh. Kendall, underneath the tough(ish) exterior was actually a huge romantic. He was concerned that he may cross a line one day during one of his and James' playful banters or wrestling matches, and James would leave him for punching him to hard or yelling to loudly, or something strange like that. It was an absurd thought, but that concern was still present.
James rolled his eyes and smirked, watching Logan anxiously run haphazardly around the kitchen, looking for the correct plates to serve their breakfast on. Luckily he found them quickly, as Logan was a bit OCD. He filed the cabinets by alphabet, usage, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack, and each boy had their own colour on their dishes... Yes, Logan was OCD when it came to Kitchen utensils.
"Love you too."
A few hours past, and since Logan had been the one to cook breakfast, Kendall and James were left with the dishes. Logan sat in the living room, reading a newspaper and grinning as he watched his two best friends groan and moan in hatred of cleaning up after themselves.
"I just don't understand why I have to do this! I mean, I barely ate anything." James complained loudly, grabbing a soaking plate that Kendall was passing to him, wiping with obvious aggression.
Kendall bit his lip, swallowing back the harsh comment that he wanted to say. But he knew if he brought up the issue of how little James eats so suddenly, the brunet will become extremely upset and angry. It was difficult, but Kendall had to learn when the right time was to bring up the certain side effects to James' past abuse.
And being in a room with Logan, smiling and happy, was not a place to bring up Kendall's concerns.
"That's your own fault then, James. And if you're hungry, just eat Carlos'. He probably won't be home for a while anyway."
James shrugged, placing the plate in a high cupboard above his head before he extended his arm out grab the next clean dish to dry.
Just as he went to grab the plate, Carlos barged into the room, the side door near the kitchen slamming open and banging harshly against the wall.
The tall brunet yelped from the sudden noise, and the plate went spiralling down to the ground, where it crashed and broke into a million, tiny little pieces.
The blond bit back a laugh as he heard Logan begin his anxiety attack over the loss of yet another plate.
James looked indifferent as he sighed. "See? This is why James Diamond is not allowed in the kitchen."
Logan continued to grumble on, his anger being repressed to small little mutters of annoyance. He ran over to the kitchen, pushed James out of the way and began his clean up as soon as his limbs could move again from his shell-shock.
"Sorry, Logan..."
"You know, a new expensive plate-"
Carlos watched between his friends, James' giggle stature and Logan's bent over, down on all fours, practically crying over a broken plate. The Latino was practically bouncing by his news of the day.
"Guys-" Carlos called out suddenly.
"Just to have it broken-" Logan continued angrily.
Carlos rolled his eyes with frustration. "Guys!-"
"And guess who has to clean it up?"
"Guys!"
"And on my day off, too!"
"GUYS!"
"WHAT?!" Logan yelled back at his friend, anger present but Carlos didn't even seem fazed by it. He was too involved with his own thoughts at the moment. Kendall tore his green eyes away from Logan on the kitchen floor, as did James when Logan made his reply to his smaller friend.
Panting from his exhaustion, as running for a long time on a hot day often does that to a person, Carlos managed to stutter out, "There's a guy at the harbour, said he just escaped from L.A... Guys, a fugitive from L.A made it to Hawai'i."
There are few reactions one might have when something unexpected happens. That amount of choices for said reactions when something unexpected happens, decreases when the unexpected is also unwanted.
The most common is either fleeing or falling into a state of numbness, also known as shock. Which is one of the main reasons at to why the boys fell eerily silent after Carlos spoke, having no reaction other than apparent shock.
5 minutes passed and it was James who jumped out of his frozen state first, rushing out of the room and grabbing Carlos by his wrist and dragging him along for the ride.
Seeing his boyfriend fleeing his side in panic, Kendall caught a hold of reality, calling out to Logan before doing just as James did to Carlos before. He grabbed the poor genius' wrist and tore him away from the home.
When Kendall and Logan made their way to the popular sandy beach, following the dashing forms of James and Carlos, they found themselves surrounded by a large pack of people, all interested in seeing the fugitive.
Kendall grabbed James' shoulder when he reached the brunet, turning him around swiftly. James wasn't expecting the physical contact and gasped, proving to the blond that his wild eyes and slight tremors were indeed by the sight of another man from L.A landing in Hawai'i.
Kendall consciously pulled him in for a hug. He was experiencing the same feelings. Carlos and Logan looked at James and Kendall, then towards each other, both of their mouths agape and frightened by what this person may say.
L.A still existed, that was for sure. Just- How? How did Dak make it through? How was it now? Why did this person run away? Didn't Dak promise to take over and make it better for the civilians? These were the thoughts that ran through each boys' minds as they tried to make their way through the crowd on shaking limbs.
It took no longer than 30 seconds to get to the middle of the crowd, but with each step Kendall swore time slowed down, which was in great contrast to his heart, who was tempting Kendall's fate and was beating a little faster as his feet moved on their own against the sandy plain.
The first thing they noticed was a boy no older than 18, around the same age they had been when they escaped from L.A. Except, they had each other, this young male was completely alone.
He was brown headed, and looked like his skin hadn't seen the sun's rays for years on end. He was pale and sickly, his cheeks hallow and the raccoon eyes evident. The next thing that was strange for a civilian of L.A was his accoutrements. It was a uniform of sorts, a white tinted grey button-up shirt whose sleeves ended at his upper bicep. His pants were no different, loose and un-form fitting, holding onto his hips with a long black belt. None of his clothes hugged the boy's skin, and his pants were tucked into his grey boots that ended just above his unseen ankles.
James noted the lack of shoe laces, as well as the name etched with ink on his skin and an 11 digit number.
The boy was gasping for breath as a kind native of the island held him upright and in a sitting position, allowing the weak youth to lean against her chest. Her dark skin and long black, wavy hair only made the boy look even more sickly than he already was. She gently held a water bottle up to his chapped lips, allowing him to drink the liquid away selfishly.
His grey eyes, dazed, confused and in obvious need of medical aid and hydration, looked around to those who bore their eyes on him. After minutes passed as he looked at his wavy surrounding, his eyes settled on Kendall, James, Carlos and Logan and he let out an audible gasp, amazement striking him.
A shaking finger was pointed in their direction, and the boy spoke with a tremor in his voice. "Th-the leaders, o-of the rev-revolution," was all he could breathe out as his body was overtaken with coughs, and Kendall felt his chest tighten.
No, now way no how, just all round NO! This boy was too far gone to be from L.A. The state had to be fine now, wasn't Dak in control? He would never allow this to happen to a civilian...
Would he?
And more interestingly, if something did happen, did this child and the rest of the people of L.A blame Kendall? He deserved all of their horrendous accusations and complaints, the blond thought.
"Our saviours." The boy said, jerking Kendall away from those prior, self-hating musings.
The large group of people now formed a circle around the young boy and the older revolutionaries, as the people of Hawai'i knew their story and were eager to see what would happen next. It was as if they were in the peanut gallery during a Shakespearian play, comments of all sorts being thrown around freely during the entertainment.
"I'm sorry?" Logan asked, meekly walking up to the teen and beginning to check his vitals right there on the sandy beach.
The boy smiled kindly, his eyes beginning to droop from exhaustion.
"You helped us away from President Diamond, but then you disappeared as soon as He came into power..."
Carlos and James joined Logan, staring the fugitive right in the glazed over eyes.
"As soon as who came into Power, Randell?" James asked, lifting the boy's arm and reading the name tag marked with ink upon his arm.
A weak laugh was emitted from the tired teen, and he continued to hold up his fingers. The child swore he had died and gone to Heaven.
"We started to believe you weren't real... That you were all just a made up dream, to help us when we were down. A mythical story of Gods. We still talk about you, and about what happened. A young boy, taken away by the Soldiers, only to be stopped by the bravest of brave. Things started to become happier after that, the power came back to us, the pe-people," He broke out into a fit of coughs, and Logan grabbed the water, forcing 'Randell' to drink the contents.
Randell smiled at the gesture, but noticed the wavering looks of his idols. He could feel himself teetering on edge of consciousness, but he had a story to tell, one that may help out his people one day. He couldn't allow himself to leave this world quite yet.
With a large huff of air, he continued on with stutters and slurs, "A-andnd it was you guys who started it... It was you guys... But- but in school, we were taught you were a fable, a story for fun, but I knew better! I knew, I knew, I knew..." His voice trailed off, scaring each of the boys.
Kendall lifted one foot and placed it callously in front of the next, slowly making his way towards the boy, a child still in Kendall's eyes.
"Is it Dak who's taken over?"
Randell, as James had called him, wretched away from the curious embrace of the native girl. He slumped forward, his hands flying over his ears as he screamed the words with pain, "Don't say his name! Don't ever say his first name! It isn't allowed, it isn't allowed! It's Lord Zevon now. People die, people die, people die when they say his first name... It's a rule... Can't say his name, can't say his name, can't say his name- his name, his name can't say!-"
With a gentle ease, Logan lifted his fingers to the boy's hands, removing them from his ears. He rubbed gentle circles on his showing, tanless arms, hoping to comfort Randell. It worked, and the teen shot into Logan's arms, tears drenching Logan's freshly ironed shirt.
"It's okay, it's okay. Shh, it'll be alright..."
"No, nothing is alright, it'll never be alright. We all talk about the day you'll return, save us with the Youngest Diamond, the girl with all the families secrets who somehow escaped her families permanent death, she's seen as a hero who can save us, just like you.. You were all supposed to save us- But you never did. You never came. Why didn't you come? !"
James inwardly shuttered, still a little enraged by the fact that, even though he was in the same boat of the 'God- Complex' with his friends, he was still considered a girl.
... Only because of the fact that he was amazing in bed and had some womanly features... It wasn't his fault! It was his genes, and not to mention, he was considered the muscle of the group now. So ha!
... Damn fucking rumours, James thought.
"Tell us what happened. What's changed?"
"Changed? As in gotten worse? We're run by the government, no freedom. No respect. E-Everyone has a job, s-selected by the committee, and you're not allowed to leave your apartment in the middle of the day unless it's an emergency or you're going to work. No one of the normal society is allowed to see sunlight, so we can only go outside at night. Everyone of my people has the same uniform, but their names and identification number are imprinted when you're born. The Soldiers bring us our food, and every home is wired and connected to the Palace."
"And what about your family? Are they alright?" Logan asked gently, hoping that his demanding questions wouldn't scare the child who's head lay still against his chest.
"He- He... My family, we went out of line. The army conscription is still going, and young males are still forced to join the army, except He's increased the years. Boys and girls from 18-22 must serve their 4 years under the military. Me and my sister were twins, and our 18th birthday was coming, but M-mom tried to hide us, t-to keep us safe. She used up almost all of her money to keep us alive...
"-And my Mom only wanted to keep us safe! She- it was found out that she committed treason against our Lord, so she was punished by death. But she had to watch us be hurt first. My Mother and Sister died, but I escaped, I escaped, I escaped and I don't understand why. Why me? Why? Why! It isn't fair! I was chosen to work for the sewers after my militia term, but my sister was chosen to move forward and become a doctor. Why did she die, when she was going to serve the community well? Why didn't I die! How did I escape? I just don't-" His tears started yet again, this time even harder as he sobbed fitfully into Logan's shirt.
The doctor understood, though. The boy was falling into a state of madness, probably from blood loss, everything he'd been through, and a near three days without food or water, as it seemed.
He was delusional, and needed help right away.
"Someone call an ambulance!" Logan shouted into the crowd, which began to bustle almost immediately after the words were uttered.
Still holding the frail boy, Logan remained calm and kept calming the teen in his arms.
"But now you're back, you're back! You can save us from Him! We can have our freedom back! We can choose our own jobs, and not have numbers and letters imprinted on us. We can choose to have children and have a job in the military, right? That's what you promised all those years ago, right? It can happen, it can finally happen... You'll finally save us, just like the stories say..." His words slurred together, from both dehydration and exhaustion. He fell unconscious Logan's body, just as the ambulance halted on the road above, and the medical aids dashed out with a stretched in hand.
They kindly nodded to Logan, as they had worked together many times before being from the same hospital, and took the limp teen from his arms.
They all watched in silence as guilt fell over each male. The boy was taken away in an ambulance, the slur of the words 'through sewers... sewers through...' drunkenly coming from his parted, chapped lips.
The crowd soon disappearing, the excitement now faded.
Carlos gulped obnoxiously, and with wide brown eyes, he turned abruptly to his friends.
"Guys, we have to go back. You heard what he said, the civilians still think we're going to save them, even after we caused all of that to happen. We have to go back, guys. We have to make things right again."
James nodded his head in agreement with Carlos' bizarrely wise words, and Logan let himself have a minute to think about it, before he agreed as well.
"Ya, in a way, it is our fault. We have to help out, even a little... Am I right, or is it a death trap? ... Kendall?"
The blond watched his three friends with fearful eyes, slowly stepping away from them, ignoring the soft sand that burned the skin of his feet. He only now realized that he had forgotten his shoes at his house.
His home, the one place where he felt comfort, and safety since, well, forever.
Kendall could break down here, he could play here, he could laugh and cry here. He was safe, and he wasn't giving that up! He was only just now getting over his own guilt of causing L.A to fall, and all those deaths that had appeared over the extent of the area. He was still healing, and there was no way in Hell he was going back to L.A, to 'save' people when it was apparently still in complete turmoil.
No way.
No how.
Just- No.
"No," He whispered dejectedly. The brunet looked to his boyfriend, and sighed sympathetically. He tried to take a step closer and lift a hand to Kendall, but the blond whimpered, and bounced back.
"No! I'm not going back there. You're insane if you're actually thinking about it. That's the place where people died because of us. James, that's where everything happened to you. The sex, your father, being exploited, your brother? And Logan and Carlos, that's the place where you witnessed your own parents deaths. Those are the reasons why we are suffering, and it all derives from L.A. No. Way. In. Hell! Am I going back, damn it!"
"Maybe that's why we should go back, though." James said, trying and succeeding with grabbing Kendall's hand and keeping him locked in place. Kendall tried to move away, but James remained stubborn, never allowing Kendall to take another step backwards and away from his problems.
"I read somewhere that, to help us, we have to go back. We have to go back to the place it all began and face our fears. You remember that conversation in the hospital 5 years ago, don't you Kendall? I told you, we're not going to forget. And we've been having problems, and truthfully, I'm sick of it. I think it's time we go back."
"But James-"
"He's right, Kendall." Logan interrupted quickly, grabbing onto Kendall's shoulder and squeezing gently. "And you heard what he said. It's worse now, because of Dak. We are still talked about, in a positive way surprisingly. They're waiting for us to save them. We have to go back."
"Why us?"
Carlos was the one to answer this question, walking up to his three friends. With a sly wink, Carlos said "Maybe because we're the only ones who aren't afraid to go against something that scares us."
Kendall sighed with frustration because he knew.
He fucking knew that even if he said no, even if he begged and pleaded and swam the entire pacific oceans towards fucking Alaska, his friends would find him and drag him to L.A, kicking and screaming the entire way. There was no way out of this situation.
But, Kendall really didn't want to go. He was like the plague. Anyone he touched or got close to, died. It wasn't fair, and Kendall couldn't be responsible for anymore lives. He just couldn't!
"Please, guys? Please, don't make me." The blond hated how he sounded so weak, but he couldn't do it.
Can't they see that?
James smiled sweetly, kissing Kendall on the cheek, trying to reassure the lost blond. "It isn't your fault, Kendall. How many times do I have to tell you that?" He kept Kendall's hand in his, as he used his other free one to hold onto Kendall's cheek.
"It'll be fine, I promise. And if it isn't, we'll leave, and we'll be with each other every step of the way. But we need to go. For our people. Please, Kendall? More people will probably die if we don't go."
"You don't know that."
"Neither do you. And as much as I love Hawaii, it isn't our home. Los Angeles is our home, and that's where we belong, alright?"
Another sigh escaped the blond's lips, hating himself completely for what he was about to say. With tremors wracking his body and sobs that needed to escape, he said with a solemn and almost numb expression.
"I- I guess we're going back to L.A"
Chhappter doonne!
I'm worried about this one. Is it alright? Is it okay? haha,
but yah, I am evil. All the guys suffer PTSD, and James also suffers from an Eating Disorder not otherwise specified (it's a mixture in my head :/) I only did this because, truthfully, I think if anybody went through what he did in my last story, they would be put into a mental institution from their problems and would have probably developped Multiple Personality disorder. BUT, I talked about him having issues with being human/ not an inanimate object, and about the subject of puking/not eating. So that's why I added this. The problem is only secondary though, since this is not an 'eating disorder' story. It's only a symptom from past abuse so if it does seem off at points, that may be why. I apologize in advance if there are problems with it.
I'm hoping for weekly updates, lets hope I can do it! :) If you have any questions or if anything is severely confusing, just ask! One last note, there will be sex, and this is a James-bottom story. I may infer that Kendall has bottomed and make them versatile, but I don't think I could ever write a Kendall bottom sex scene. One day I will! I applaud anyone who can write/read both as a bottom! I've tried, and I can't do it, I don't know why, since Kendall-bottom is a favorite of many :( I wish I could, but I can barely even read stories with Kendall as a bottom, and I hate it! I'm missing out! (I do read them and love them, it's just.. more difficult? I guess?) Whhhhhyy can't I just be open minded :p Gahh! haha :) One day!
My hopes also go out to everyone amidst Hurricane Sandy! I hope everyone is safe and... this is probably redundant since the power is out in a lot of places, but let it be known for future reference that I am thinking and hoping for the best for everyone affected!