Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue.

A.N. This is dedicated to my awesome reviewers! I was looking through my binder of writing and realized it was a year ago that I started writing for Rookie Blue. Your reviews encouraged me to continue and gave me a coping mechanism for when things went wrong – transform my feelings and write them into the characters. I'll explain after the story how this came about because I don't want to ruin everything but thank you!

Her hand shook badly as she tried to place the key in the lock. She dropped the key three times before she managed to slip it in. She wasn't sure how she managed to drive home in this state. Had Sam known, he would have killed her, after he made sure she didn't damage his precious truck.

She turned the key and unlocked the door. Thankfully, she managed to disable the alarm on the first try.

She wearily kicked the door shut and locked the top lock before tossing the house and car keys onto the small table in the front hallway.

She knew her hands were still shaking, her whole body was still trembling, so she ignored the fact that she needed to reset the alarm as she wandered into the living room and dropped wearily onto the couch.

Once she was seated and didn't have anywhere to go, the days events came crashing down and sobs tore from her throat.

Flashback

Andy was driving. Chris was telling her about Dov's antics the night before at the Penny. She had not been there; since Sam had gone undercover she stayed for one, maybe two, drinks before heading home. It was nerves, the fear that he would get killed in this undercover that he had not wanted to do, that caused her to lay awake for hours on end. She found that the amount of time it took her to fall asleep never changed, regardless of what time she went to bed. Therefore, she headed home early so she would at least get some sleep before the next shift.

After lunch, they swapped and Chris drove. She studied him as he drove. He wasn't Sam but she trusted him to have her back just as she trusted Sam. Sam revealed to her that he felt the same way and made sure Chris and Andy were permanent partners before he went undercover.

They were talking hockey when dispatch cut in, asking them to take a noise complaint. Andy radioed in that they were on it and the conversation turned to what they thought the noise complaint was about.

A woman met them at the location, holding an infant. As soon as Andy stepped out of the car, the woman began talking. "Officer, I called in the noise complaint. There was a lot of yelling. After I hung up with 9-1-1, I heard a loud sound. I didn't want to call again since the woman said someone was coming."

Andy looked at Chris. 'Loud sound' could be gunshots. She wished the woman had called back. "How many sounds Ma'am?" she asked gently. The way the woman said 'a loud sound' made it seem like there might have been more than one even though she said 'a'.

"Three."

Chris moved away and called for backup – if it really was gunshots they might need it. As he called, Andy told the woman to go into her house and wait.

Guns drawn, Chris and Andy entered the house.

The silence when they entered scared both of them. There was nothing in the front hallway. They moved cautiously and entered the living room. The sight made them both freeze for a second. Two little girls, both in pools of blood.

Chris was holding the bag. He pulled out a pair of gloves and was about to toss a second pair to Andy when he noticed she was already kneeling beside one of the girls. He knelt by the second girl.

Andy felt the girl's neck, thankful when she found a pulse. She bent her head and heard the girl's breath. She's still breathing! Andy placed her hand on the wound and looked around. She saw a blanket on an armchair and used her second hand to grab the blanket. She folded it and pressed it to the wound while calling for EMS. Her mind was whirling, there could be a shooter in the house and then she and Chris were both in trouble.

Chris came over and sat on the girl's other side. He replaced Andy's hands with his own. Andy grabbed another blanket and wiped her hands, she understood why Chris had wanted to help. "The other girl?"

Chris shook his head, tears threatening to spill. "Two bullets. I think it was instant." Murder of children was never something one could get used to.

Andy stood. Chris had the girl covered. "We need to find the gun and the shooter." She pulled out her gun and headed towards the stairs.

She had gone three steps when she heard "get away from her!"

Mentally cursing herself for not clearing the first floor, she turned around and saw a man pointing his gun at Chris. "Sir, put the gun down."

The man turned the gun on her. She tried to talk him down but his hand slipped towards the trigger. Chris yelled "shoot" and two shots rang out. The man went down.

EMS entered along with two other officers. EMS went to the girl and the two officers moved to the man.

As soon as Chris was able to lift his hand from the wound, he stood and walked to Andy. "Its okay" he said softly as he pulled her into a hug. They stood there for a minute, comforting each other and then moved to the other officers.

End Flashback

She couldn't deal with the pain. Last time she had been forced to take a life, she had wanted Luke, wanted a warm body to hold her and comfort her. When Luke had not been there, she had gone to Sam for comfort. Now, Sam was undercover and she had no one to turn to.

She looked at her hands. As they quivered, she realized that her shower at the station before her lengthy session about firing her weapon had not washed all of the blood off. She felt dirty and ran up the stairs.

The water burned her but she felt numb, empty. She kept her eyes closed and sobbed as the water burned her. In a way, it was comforting.

She felt a blast of cold air but decided she was imagining it. She turned her face back into the spray and let the streams of water mingle with her tears.

Suddenly, the water stopped. She opened her eyes as a hand pulled back the shower curtain and a voice said "you're burning yourself."

Her eyes met his. Keeping eye contact, he draped a towel around her. He quickly dried her upper body and slipped one of his t-shirts over her head.

"Sam" she whispered, finally over her initial shock.

He extended his hand and she took it, stepping onto the mat. Normally he would tease her with some line like 'that's my name' but based on her emotional state he kept it to himself. Instead, he handed her the towel and let her dry her legs before scooping her up. "I'm right here sweetheart."

Her tears, which had stopped because of her shock, started to flow again as he carried her to their bed. He held her close and let her cry.

Eventually she calmed down. "How?"

He kissed her forehead and she snuggled closer. "Jerry called Don and he was able to reach me. I know how to lose a tail."

She shook her head. "It's dangerous."

He captured her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him. "Me being here when you have nightmares tonight is more important than my undercover." He kissed her then, slowly.

When they broke the kiss, Andy settled against his chest, listening to his heart beat.

"My arms are your safe-haven sweetheart. You're safe. Try to sleep." He would find out what happened in detail in the morning but right now she was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted and needed to sleep. He was so thankful that Donovan Boyd had reached him because Andy was in a bad place and he had been able to pull her out.

A.N. I was in a situation where I had no one to turn to and as I cried myself to sleep I couldn't help but think how nice it is to have someone's arms around you in comfort during the tough times. I decided to do this - where Andy thought she had no one but her friends came through.