Hermione turned to her boyfriend in the quiet lull of the evening air. "Do you think they'll ever find out about us?"
"God I hope not."
"Why?"
"You know what Harry and Ron are like; they'll flip if they find out."
"But, sweetie, it's been five years."
"I know, but they're your best friends, and both are incredibly protective of you. Ron especially."
Hermione turned her head to look up at him. "Why do you think he is?"
"You may be the brightest witch in the year, but you are so completely blind sometimes. It's so completely cute. It's obvious; he's in love with you. At least, he used to be."
Hermione laughed. "That I find hard to believe." She stirred and cuddled closer. "They're seriously getting on my nerves at the moment."
"I have some dirt on them if you want."
"Really? Something they haven't told me? I swear they think I'm one of the guys. It took Ron four years to notice I was a girl."
He laughed and leant down to whisper in her ear. She gasped.
"How did they keep that quiet from me? I can read minds for Merlin's sake! How did you find that out?"
"Skipping classes has it's advantages. I have proof for you if you want it. I saw them in a bathroom. Ugh. And I never want to see that again."
"I can imagine. There must be something in the water here, because they're not the first homo couple."
"What d'you mean?"
"Ginny and Luna. Pansy Parkinson and Padma Patil. Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. Blaise Zambini and Dean Thomas. To name but a few. I have proof of all of them."
"Blimey."
"Wasn't quite the word I used when I found out. Mine was a lot more colourful."
"And here I didn't think you would be capable of swearing. What with you being such a good little girl and all." He toyed with a lock of her bronze hair gently.
"Ever heard the expression: 'It's always the quiet ones'?"
"You're not that quiet."
"Shouldn't we get back to the castle now? It's getting a bit cold. And we have a job to do."
Her boyfriend made no movement, just pulled her in tighter. "Prefect duties can wait."
"It's awfully convenient isn't it? I mean with us being prefects and having a schedule that means we patrol together, and everything."
He was aware of a rather telling silence from Hermione.
"It wasn't chance was it?" he asked a little coldly.
"Not…entirely, no."
"What did you do?"
"I snuck into McGonagall's office and changed the rota, then planted a false memory in her mind about it."
"Why aren't you in Slytherin?" he said, almost admiringly.
"I'm only like this because of your influence. I said to myself, think like a Malfoy; what would a Malfoy do?" she giggled a little.
"Such an innocent little giggle for such a bad girl." He commented.
Her giggle this time was a tad lower and sexier.
He knew she was just teasing him, he knew her better than anyone; even her best friends.
When Hermione returned to the common room an hour later she looked very messed up, with her hair a tangled mess, her lipstick smeared across on cheek, her buttons in the wrong holes, and her tie the wrong colours. Harry, Ron and Ginny looked at her in surprise.
"What happened to you?" Ginny asked, looking as though she already knew.
"Yeah, I got back from patrols ages ago." Ron said.
"I got into a fight with Malfoy after patrols. We also had to deal with a lot of people out of bed." Hermione turned away to hide her blush.
"You must have really got into that fight. You're a mess." Harry got up from his seat and crossed to her. He looked at her carefully as though to see what was escaping him. Then he grabbed the tie that was hanging loosely from her collar. He yanked it roughly over her head. "What is this?" he demanded.
"It's called a tie, Harry."
"A Slytherin tie. Why do you have a Slytherin tie?"
"Draco must have changed the colours during the fight. It was a duel that got physical."
"Draco? Since when do you call him Draco?" Harry asked suspiciously.
Think like Draco. Go on the offensive. "What I call him is none of your business. For once in your life, could you just stay out of my business?"
"We're your best friends; what you do is our business."
"Oh really? Then would you care to fill me in on your love lives?" she glared at the boys furiously.
"What has that got to do with anything?" Harry said, whilst his eyes said plainly 'she knows!'
"How did we get on to love lives?" Ginny put in. Then realisation hit her with a start.
Hermione noticed and read her mind. "You tell them and I tell them about you." she threatened.
"You know about that?"
"I know everything." Hermione almost whispered.
"How much of everything do you know?" Harry asked.
Hermione turned her head slowly to look at him. "I know secrets. I know secrets about the teachers; I know secrets about every student in this school including all of yours."
"When did you get like this? You…you sound like a Slytherin."
"I got tired of being a good little girl. I got tired of being in your shadow. Come on, we've saved the world; I say we cut loose and party."
"This isn't like you at all. Are you drunk? Where's the real Hermione?"
"You've never known the real me." Casually she grabbed the tie back and stalked off to her dorm.