The Field Where I Died
Disclaimer: I do not own theses characters. All characters and characterizations so far are pulled in some way from a copyrighted series. I am not making any money off of this, and am writing only for my own enjoyment and for the entertainment of the readers.
Chapter 1: Let's Make a Deal
Four choices.
Four paths.
Four futures.
And no real reason to pick any.
Cloud turned off Fenrir and stared out across the fields of yellow flowers to his left. The wind blew through the tall stalks, making the fields dance like rippling waves of gold. The breeze was a soft comfort from the heat of the day, but it brought him no peace. Despite the beauty before him, cast by the shinning sun, he could only see the world in shadows.
18 months. 78 weeks of searching. 547 days of failure.
He sighed and dropped the kickstand. He pulled his goggles from his eyes and stood up to stretch his legs. Moving into the middle of the crossroad, he stared out at the expanse of the Planet, traveling endlessly in each direction. Slowly he turned, weighing each direction with equal pause… and trepidation.
He was so close to home… or at least, home as he now knew it. Edge wasn't far up the western road, less than a quarter day's ride. To the North was the path to Kalm, to the southwest the shores of Junon and transport to the other continents. To the East, endless land until Chocobo Bill's and the ocean, which with proper transport, could take one to the secret islands.
He'd searched them all and had still come up empty handed. There was no riddle to the Promised Land, no quest to obtain a special support materia, no spiritual guidance to connect with those long lost… But he'd seen the vision; he'd nearly touched her in the Lifestream. She was there, and she was waiting for him.
Cloud's eyes dropped from the fields to the black asphalt. Short of death, he didn't know any other way to find her. A soft smile curved his lips, his imagination conjuring up the lip service he would receive if he tried such a stunt. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her face in his mind, beautiful and brilliant and creased with fury at him for doing something so utterly stupid.
The breeze rustled his spiked blond bangs, and he stilled as he imagined her voice on the wind. "…I'm not worth it…"
He knew she would say that.
And he knew she was wrong.
She would know that, too… if he had told her. Too little, too late.
He shivered. The sun was hidden behind light gray clouds and the breeze had kicked up to a surprisingly cold gust. The flowers seemed to wilt with the sudden lack of light and warmth, and the world around him became eerily quiet.
His skin tingled, and he had the urge to get on Fenrir and return to Edge, to the Seventh Heaven, to his family and his friends. But he hesitated. Pushing down on the childish panic brought on by the shift in weather, he looked once more across the crossroads. He had to make a decision: go home and move on… or keep looking.
Both choices left little desire for him to move forward. He didn't want to give up… but hopelessness was a terrible companion. And yet, if he quit now… he knew he wouldn't be complete. It didn't make sense, it just was.
His eyes shifted out to the west, to the cliffs overlooking Midgar, and he saw the pouring rain washing away the bloody ground. He felt the weight of the buster sword placed in his hands for the first time, saw the smile frozen in death after he made the promise, heard the anguished scream echo off the cliffs as he relieved the past five years in one moment… 'I said I'd live out both our lives, Zack. Easy to make that promise…'
Would he have agreed… if he'd known the cost of being a hero?
A rumble of thunder broke his thoughts. He looked up at the sky and knew it was time to go. He closed his eyes. 'Please,' he thought silently. 'I don't… I can't… I'm lost, Aerith. Tell me where to go. Help me, one last time. Please.' Only the wind answered him. His head dropped and he turned back to Fenrir.
She leaned casually against the bike, watching him with a subtle smile on her lips.
Cloud came up short. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end as he tried to ground himself to the unexpected visitor. He found himself unable to speak.
"Hello," she greeted softly.
The warm voice woke his senses and he mentally shook away the surprise. He did not return her smile, but nodded in acknowledgement.
"I didn't scare you, did I?" she asked with a tilt of her head, her short brown curls lifting gently in the breeze. "I didn't think SOLDIERs were scared of anything."
Cloud ignored the question. "Do you need help, miss?" he asked quietly. His eyes scanned the area for any indication of how she arrived, wondering if her car had broken down… but he hadn't seen anything along the roads to support that theory.
"I don't," she answered. She pushed off from Fenrir, her slightly shorter frame moving gracefully as she approached him. The wind moved her thin black skirt around her ankles, revealing thin, high heeled straps that would have been hell to walk in across this terrain. She paused a foot from him, crossing her arms over her thin black strapless top as she regarded him, her smile never slipping. Something in her pale blue eyes sparkled with mischief. "You, however…"
Cloud's eyes narrowed slightly. "I think you've got the wrong guy." He stepped forward, moving past her towards Fenrir.
"If you didn't want help, then you shouldn't have asked for it."
Cloud stood by his bike, his face creasing with a frown. "I didn't-." His words caught in his throat.
"The proverbial light goes off."
He turned, his heart pounding a little bit louder than before. He watched her move to face him, her hands clasped behind her back, a slight sway to her body as she moved her shoulders back and forth in a steady rhythm he couldn't hear. Her smile widened.
It left him before he could think. "Aerith?"
She laughed; the soft alto warm and resonating. "Oh, Cloud," she murmured. Her hands dropped to her sides and she slowly stepped closer. "No. She didn't hear you, but I did."
His eyes dropped in an attempt to hide the disappointment. "And who are you?"
"I'm the one who helps people find happiness again." She nodded her head at him. "People just like you."
"What do you mean?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, you know, the usual. More money, more power, beautiful men and women to wait on hand and foot." She turned away to look out over the fields. "What I like are the unusual requests, like wishing for someone's health to return, or hoping another will find their true love." She looked at him with a smile. "Greed is the most frequent monster, but you'd be surprised how many people use this opportunity to do something for others."
Cloud shook his head. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because this is your opportunity, Cloud," she stepped next to him, placing her hands reverently on Fenrir, "the famous warrior who saved the Planet, who defeated the mighty Sephiroth, who spared millions of lives… who lost so much along the way." Her eyes looked back up to his. "This is your time to get something back."
Cloud broke her gaze, turning to look out over the flowers instead. "If something sounds too good to be true, it usually is."
She chuckled softly. "You are right. That is why happiness is never free. The question is," she drawled as she turned and leaned once more against the bike, "what are you willing to pay?" She smiled when he looked over at her once more. "I'm a deal maker, Cloud. One chance, one golden opportunity, and you can walk away with whatever you dream… for a small price."
"Not interested." Cloud moved to sit on his bike, but her hand caught his arm.
"You are searching for something." She stared at him. "You've been searching for a long time, and now you've come to a dead end." He remained silent, and she moved her head closer. "You can walk away, but if you do, you will never find her. Think about it, Cloud. What about your pain? What are you supposed to do now?"
He stiffened, her words triggering a painful memory he would much rather forget.
She released his arm and backed up, her smile never moving. After a moment, she turned, and began walking away from the crossroad. "Very well. Be safe on your travels, Cloud of Nibelheim."
"Wait."
She paused.
Cloud's hands tightened and his jaw clenched. Something inside him screamed to walk away… but he knew he wouldn't. He figured she knew it, too. He closed his eyes. "You can show me to the Promised Land?"
"Oh, Sugar, I can do much better than that for the Savior of Gaia." She turned back to him, her hands clasped under her chest. "Why waste your time searching… when you can just ask for her?"
His eyes flew open and he turned sharply towards her.
She nodded. "Oh, yes, I can do that." Her head dipped to the side. "Still not interested?" The brilliant hue of his eyes answered her question. She laughed lightly and moved forward. "Well, then, let's get down to business. Tell me exactly what you want."
Cloud hesitated.
"Oh, don't be nervous Cloud, I'm not trying to cheat you," she snickered. "I just want to make sure I give you what you want. You can't go back on a deal once it's been made."
"I want Aerith's life returned to her." His chest tightened, his heart not for a moment believing it could be done.
The young brunette nodded in sympathy. "Yes, it was so rudely cut short, wasn't it? Luckily, she has you. A selfless man such as your self is rare these days."
"What will it take?" Cloud asked quietly.
A short laugh. "Ah, straight to the point." She sighed. "Well, this kind of request is very uncommon. It's going to cost more than the average wish."
"How much?"
She looked at him. "Gil can't buy this."
Cloud frowned. "What then?"
Her eyes moved over his face, studying him. Something worked behind her eyes as if she was weighing a serious decision. "One year."
He felt his heart drop. "One year… you're only giving her one year to live?"
She shook her head. "No. I'm giving you one year, to spend your time as you wish. Then, you will come and work for us."
Cloud paused. "What do you mean?"
"You're well known in many circles, Cloud. Your skills are greatly sought after."
"By who?"
She continued as if he hadn't spoken. "It will be no different than your time with AVALANCHE."
"You want me to be a mercenary," he replied, his voice flat with disbelief.
"A defender of our assets… at any cost, yes."
"And if I wanted to leave?"
She shook her head. "You would break the deal."
"Meaning what?"
"Meaning I could no longer keep my end," she answered simply.
He looked away as her reply bounced around in his head. She didn't have to say the words for him to catch the hint: Aerith's life was only as good as his honor to the bargain.
His freedom… for her life.
"It's a good deal."
He turned back to her, and he could see sympathy… with something else behind her pale blue eyes.
"How long will she live?"
"Years."
"And I'm supposed to trust you on that?"
She nodded. "If I don't keep my word, then you get your wish at no cost."
Cloud stared at her for several moments, before looking out over the field. The flowers swayed, and for a brief second, he thought he saw a pink dress and a red ribbon among the golden sea. She deserved to be there, among those flowers, among the living, more than he ever did
And then the absurdity of the situation struck him, and he grunted. "I can't believe I'm listening to this." He turned again to Fenrir. "It's too simple… and I just don't believe it can happen."
"Then walk away, Cloud," she encouraged, her voice gentle. "Go back to your friends and your delivery boy life, and never think about this again. Because if you do, you'll only have regret and the question, 'what if?'."
18 months. 78 weeks of searching. 547 days of failure.
Today, he was offered a chance, a shot in the dark, to find what he'd been searching for. Even if it was unbelievable, hadn't he done other things that were just as crazy? If this was a joke, he'd be angry then he'd get over it. But if it wasn't, and he walked away… he'd live the rest of his life never knowing. His eyes drifted around the crossroad, taking in the four separate paths; each one lead to a different future… each one with its own unique outcome. He knew only one path was the right one.
"I accept."
He looked back at her and realized she had moved up next to him. He stared down into her sparkling eyes, the breeze lifting the scent of vanilla from her clothes and pressing it into his. Her eyes flicked back and forth between his as she moved to stand in front of him.
"So what happens now?" he asked quietly, unnerved by and yet unwilling to move from the petite woman.
"We seal the deal." She reached her hands up to his face, catching his chin between her smooth fingers. "Kiss me, and she will be yours again." She laughed softly at his look of discontent. "Those are the rules, Honey; I don't make them, I just follow them. So, are you in or not?"
Cloud stared down at her, unmoving.
She rolled her eyes. "I can't wait for-."
He silenced her with his lips, pulling her body close into his as he felt the air sizzle around them. She tasted like vanilla and firewood, her body surprisingly hot for the cool afternoon. Thunder crashed overhead, he felt dizzy, and Aerith flashed into his mind, her eyes lifeless as Sephiroth pulled Masamune from her shredded body.
'Come back to me….'
"CLOUD!"
"No!" He jerked up, his hand reaching for the sword that wasn't at his back. He looked around, panting lightly as his body eased itself out of combat mode. No one was there. The sun was shinning down on the field by the cross road, and he was sitting on the asphalt with his back against Fenrir.
"Gods," he mumbled, dropping his head into his hand as he took a deep breath. He couldn't remember getting off his bike to rest… he couldn't believe he fell asleep sitting next to his bike in the middle of the day…
He couldn't believe he'd thought such a dream could be real. He looked up over the fields, shaking his head at himself for such childish thoughts. When was he going to grow up?
Zack would hope never.
Cloud paused in getting up. Why did he suddenly think of Zack? His eyes gazed over to the cliffs near Midgar. 'That must be why,' he thought. 'I'll visit you soon, my friend.' In the meantime, daylight was burning. His quest for Aerith was done, and it was time to let go of pipe dreams. He started up Fenrir, and began his way back to Edge.
Despite his desire to let go of childish dreams, he couldn't convince himself to not go to the church. 'One last guilty pleasure,' he promised himself. Deep down, he knew the real reason he wanted to go, though he wouldn't say it out loud. If he did, he would have to accept the disappointment when she wasn't there.
It was quiet outside of the church, as always. Even though Midgar was nothing but ruins, the church still looked regal and elegant, even with half the roof gone. He paused at the door, hesitant. He took a breath… and laughed. "You're an idiot," he told himself. He pushed the door open and stepped inside.
Immediately, his eyes were drawn to the flower patch that practically glowed in the sunlight. He tried not to groan in disappointment at the emptiness that was there. A forced smile filled his face, and he walked closer, pretending for all the world he wasn't hurt.
It didn't matter, no one was there to see him. Yet, he couldn't let go, because once he did, he knew it would be for good.
Cloud walked to the flower patch, his heavy footfalls echoing on the creaky floor boards. He stopped at the hole leading down to the flowers, allowing himself to sit at the closest broken pew. He leaned forward with his head in his hand.
"I'm sorry, Aerith," he whispered. "I'm sorry I can't let you go… and I'm sorry I have to try. I'll come back and visit… I'm just not sure when. I know you understand."
He didn't know how long he sat there, but eventually he looked up and gazed at her flowers one last time. It still amazed him how they grew here, the only place in Midgar, with soft hues of yellow, white, and pink in a twisting vine of green.
He stood and walked toward the door.
'Pink?' Pink flowers didn't grow in this part of the church. He turned, staring intently at the middle of patch. There they were, hidden among the white and yellow petals, a mix of pink, red, peach, and brown…
The church thundered as he sprinted into the flower patch, heedless of the innocent stalks he crushed when he collapsed to his knees next to her. He lifted her up under the shoulder blades, her hair splaying out in brown waves behind her without any ribbon to tame them. His fingers trembled as he pressed them to her throat.
Warm skin. Steady pulse. Even breathing.
He could have wept.
Cloud ran his fingers along her cheek, rubbing his thumb in soft circles, gently calling her name around the lump in his throat. She moaned in reply and his heart stopped when her eyes opened.
The green was dark and hazy, but the fog quickly cleared as she looked at him. "C…Cloud?"
He smiled, his face almost hurting from the size of it. "Hey," he whispered.
She looked around, surprise and worry on her face. "What happened?"
"I made a wish… and someone heard me."
"What?"
The utter confusion on her face made him laugh, a full bodied sound he couldn't remember making in a long time. He felt tears well in his eyes, and he pulled Aerith into a tight embrace as he shook her with his laughter.
"Cloud…" she laughed with him, "Cloud, your hair is tickling my nose!"
The merriment in her voice was music to him, and in a childish act that would make Zack proud, Cloud rubbed his head against her face, making her laugh even more as she tried to push away from him.
"No, stop, it's in my mouth!" She pushed herself back so far she fell out of his arms, landing softly on the dirt.
Her giggles echoed off the walls, bringing life into the church once again, and Cloud leaned over her, staring down with wonder in his eyes. Her face was flushed and her hair was everywhere, and he thought he might die right then if he couldn't get himself to breathe again. He closed his eyes and forced himself to inhale.
'Please don't be a dream.'
Blue met green and the church became quiet once again. Aerith reached her hand up to his face, her eyes softening as she brushed away a tear. "Cloud…"
He shook his head. "I've never been better." A smirk quirked his lips despite the tears in his eyes. "Well, actually…" He answered her questioning stare with a dip of his head, catching her eyes for the briefest moment of assurance, before he finally tasted the lips he'd longed for since their first meeting.
Heaven did exist on the Planet. The Promised Land was here.
Finally, his happiness had been found.
/
In the darkness, surrounded by the stench of blood, the sounds of screams, and the taste of terror, a low voice rumbled in content, a long slow laugh rippling forth through the great hall and sending all the little scavengers scurrying.
"Finally… this time, he is ours."
/
A/N: I hope you've enjoyed the beginning! If you're looking forward to more, please let me know! Thanks for taking the time to read and review! HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY! GO NAVY!