Title: Train Wreck
Author: Marie/Chounette
Characters: Dick. Logan, Veronica, Mac. Cassidy mentions.
Rating: R for some strong language.
Word Count: 994
Disclaimer: Rob Thomas is my God. And he owns it all.
Notes: My first Veronica Mars fic. Angsty. References to the summer after the season 2 finale, but mostly set during the season 3 premiere.
Spoilers: 2.22, 3.01.
Warnings: Strong language. Underage drinking - a lot of it.
Summary: Dick's a total mess.

He's not okay. He knows he's not okay. Fuck, his little brother killed eleven people, raped a classmate and swan-dived off the roof of the Neptune Grand when the truth came out. Of course he's not okay. Shit like that would bring even the strongest person down.

He can't help but think it's his fault. He knows it's his fault. If he had been nicer, if he hadn't brought Veronica into the guest bedroom for Beav- Cassidy at Shelly's party, if he hadn't called him a wuss the day he came home and said he wanted to quit Little League...

He'll never admit it out loud. He's way too proud for that. The last Casablancas (barely) standing still has some dignity left.

He's Dick fucking Casablancas, asshole extraordinaire and known to be one of the most uncomplicated guys in Neptune. He's 19, he's hot, he has an ass like Marky Mark and the entire Funky Bunch and he's the best lay all those lucky ladies ever had.

So, hiding behind his uncomplicated self, he deals with everything in the best and only way he knows: getting completely smashed.

Summer passes in a blur of alcohol, drugs, parties and surprisingly little sex. Apparently, chicks in the Caymans don't dig wasted jackasses. (Their words, not his.)

Then one day Logan calls and asks if he's ever going to show up at school.

Oh, yeah. School. His mom married some high-placed dude or something and pulled some strings. He received his high school diploma without even attending summer school and got into Hearst. He can't even remember what his major is; he was pretty out of it when he chose it, so it's probably something totally retarded. His schedule is somewhere in a jeans pocket where he stuffed it upon reception without even glancing at it.

He does show up at school on the second day with the intention to make an impression. Three bottles of Jack Daniel's later, he ends up on a stage in a speedo of all things, dancing with a blow up maid doll. He sees stars when a bunch of babes round up on him and oh God, he's never letting his privates so exposed in public ever again, and when his ski mask is ripped off his face he spots Ronnie and that chick Ghost World in the crowd and they don't look too impressed.

Whatever. Who cares what they think anyway?

Seeing that computer geek Bea- Cassidy used to go out with leaves a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach and when he can finally stands he goes straight home (if non-campus housing can count as home) and downs a full bottle of whiskey.

The next day, he goes back to Hearst and tries to pick up some hot sorority chicks. He meets this Parker babe who's not a sorority chick but winks at him and slips him her dorm room number and tells him to drop by later.

When he finally does drop by after a couple hours spent at a bar with a few guys he met on campus, it's Ghost World who answers the door and that weird feeling is back. It's not guilt – he's had enough of that to suppress to know what it feels like. It's something else. Sympathy?

Dude, no. Dick Casablancas doesn't ever feel sympathy for geeks. Not even those his little brother screwed around with. Or played Dungeons and Dragons with. Whatever. Who knew with the Beav anyway? He's starting to realize he didn't really know anything about him. Or else he would have known...

The words slip right out of his mouth. "My little brother never cared about you, you know? You were just his beard." She's silent, but the look on her face – he could have slapped her, it would have made no difference.

By the time the RA shows up and yells at him for being somewhere he's not supposed to be, he feels like throwing himself in front of a bus. Except there's none in the near vicinity.

However, there's shitloads of booze waiting for him at home.

The next days pass in a drunken haze of bad pick-up lines, none of them successful. Some girls probably know about last June and don't want to be seen with a mass murderer's brother, but mostly it's because they aren't in high school anymore and nobody cares for a pathetic moron that's drunk off his ass. (Again, their words, not his.)

He remembers being kicked out of campus housing, but he forgot why. He also vaguely recalls ending up on the floor of a campus restaurant with blood gushing out of his nose. Logan tasering a jealous boyfriend or something off of him. Snapping at one of the last people still sticking by him before walking away: "What, you wanna hug or something?"

He's finally run out of alcohol and out of energy to go buy some more. He lies on a park bench for hours, slowly sobering up as memories of the recent events catch up to him. He's starting to be assaulted by a massive hangover that would probably make getting run over by an 18-wheel truck a painless experience. The area around his nose is caked with dried blood from the nosebled he never bothered to clean up.

He can't stay there. And he can't go back to that mansion they used to live in, he and Beav-Cass- his brother. He'll go crazy if he does.

Fuck, he's already gone crazy.

He somehow ends up at Logan's door and doesn't miss his friend's surprise when he pulls the door open. After all, he did tell him to fuck off and get lost. (Not in these particular words, but it's just the same.)

"I have nowhere else to go."

He has no idea when his eyes started watering. He doesn't care. Screw pride and dignity. He's already a fucking train wreck anyway.

"I messed up bad."