A/N: Well, it's happened. I've created another Naruto crossover fic. With Touhou. It was bound to happen. This takes place during the timeskip.
...I've skipped disclaimers before. Why stop now?
Naruto was having a good day. It had been a year and a half since he had left on his training trip, and it was going amazing so far. He had grown about three inches, lost some baby fat, and changed his signature bullet-target orange jumpsuit to one still with orange, but with more black as well. He had learned a new jutsu, and had improved his Taijutsu. His Genjutsu still sucked ass thanks to the Kyuubi, however.
But anyways, Naruto had deserved a break, and Jiraiya had left him to go find a bathhouse to peek into. So, going off towards a large waterfall, he laid down next to a large river. It was such a nice day as well, with the sun out, but still with some clouds, and a nice breeze to go along with it. It was the perfect weather to fall asleep to. So he did.
Komachi Onozuka was not having a good day. First, her boss, Shikieiki, had yelled at her for slacking off again. She had deserved the nap, dammit! It was so slow today!
Second, the only soul that she did get today was a complete bastard, and no one had missed him when he died. Because she had made the boat go nowhere, she threw the bastard off. The soul drowned in the river, and it returned to its original width.
And third, it was so hard to see with this huge amount of mist! She could hardly ferry her own boat, and it was really starting to piss her off! Finally, she made it to the other end of the river, the mortal side, and found a large lump of orange and black (What was he, a Halloween youkai?) waiting on the other side. Well, not really waiting. More like sleeping.
Growling in annoyance, she was about to slam her scythe's handle into his stomach, when she suddenly caught herself and woke him up by shaking him gently.
"Hey... Hey kid... Wake up." Odd... Naruto had never heard that voice before... Yawning slightly, he opened his eyes to find a teenage girl looking at him. She had red eyes, and had short pinkish red hair with two ponytails tied by two double hair beads. She wore a mostly blue dress with a white dress over it, with some blue vest-like thing over the white dress. Over it was a light brown obi belt with a golden coin tied over it. She was in a wooden rowboat, and held a scythe with the blade shaped like a wave.
"Good, you're awake. Now, if you can get in the boat, we can get you across the Sanzu quicker, and I can have my nap." Naruto blinked in confusion. The Sanzu? As in, the Sanzu no Kawa? The River of Death? He died?
"Wait, I'm dead?" Naruto asked stupidly. This was the wrong question, apparently, as the girl just growled in annoyance.
"Yes, you stupid little mortal. You're dead, and as I am the Guide of the Sanzu River, my job is to take you to Hell. Now get in." The edge in her voice was clear.
"Um... Lady, no offense, but... I'm not really dead..." Said Naruto, as he realized that, yes, he was alive. This only made the girl angrier. For some reason, she looked kinda cute when she was angry...
"WHAT?" She screamed. "Dammit! First I get yelled at by Lady Shikieiki for no reason, then that bastard makes my job harder for no reason, and then YOU show up, and now this fog STILL won't clear up!" As she was talking, a thick, wet mist rolled in, hugging the ground, but still fogging up the air.
Naruto was surprised at the weather changing so rapidly, and according to the Shikigami before him (At least he thought she was; she worked in the Sanzu no Kawa, and she had a scythe), it was like this all morning. "But that's impossible!" He protested. "It's been a perfect day ever since I woke up. If anything, you must've changed the weather in order to mess with my head!" It was the only way this made sense to him, so he went with that theory.
The girl laughed. "Perfect? You call this terrible weather 'perfect'?" But then a small detail about Naruto's accusation seemed to strike her. "And what do you mean, I changed the weather? Are you accusing me of something? Well then, take this!"
Then the girl jumped onto the land, a few feet from Naruto, and threw what looked like multicolored coins at him. Naruto, seeing them as projectile weapons, threw some kunai at them, knocking them out of the air. The girl looked surprised at the kunai before throwing more coins at him while charging, scythe drawn. Naruto continued countering with kunai (and even some shuriken and senbon) before reaching her. Eventually, they reached each other, and Naruto started to fight with some Taijutsu while the girl started blocking with her scythe's blade.
After about three minutes of fighting like this, the girl jumped back and took out a small card marked with light blue kanji. She then held it in front of her and shouted "Lonely Bound Spirit!" Suddenly, a small, harmless-looking... Thing... Shot out of the card and flew towards Naruto. As it wasn't directly attacking him, he charged at the girl.
Then the thing exploded.
Luckily for Naruto, he was out of range of the blast. While he stood shocked, the girl pulled out another card (This one imprinted with aquamarine blue Kanji) and shouted "Nautical Sign: Flow of the River!" and jumped into her boat.
Some water from the Sanzu River then flowed towards Naruto, carrying the girl in her boat towards him. He didn't turn around in time, and was struck in the back with the bow of the boat. As he turned around, he was struck in the front by the jutsu (At least that's what he thought it was) again.
Naruto growled, and finally made some hand seals before ending in his signature one. "I'll show you! Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" He shouted as he multiplied into at least 500 clones.
This actually caused the girl to stop before taking out another card (This one with Kanji the color of Sakura's hair) and yelling "Spirit Sign: Awakening of the Ancient Earthbound Spirits!" She stood still for a moment, waiting for the clones to come towards her before striking the ground with her scythe's handle.
This time, the ground exploded. With a pink aura.
This destroyed at least 10 percent of the clones, but they kept coming at her. The girl charged at them, thinking them to be an illusion, but was suddenly pummeled by real fists, to her shock. She then struck the ground again, causing another pink explosion that Naruto jumped away from. Seeing a small opening, he threw a large amount of kunai and shuriken, with most of them actually hitting the girl. She cried out in pain before falling over. She then jumped up and held up a card similar to the last one, and shouted out "Death Sign: Scythe that Chooses the Dead!" She then raised her scythe above her head.
A pink aura surrounded Naruto.
She struck the ground with her scythe blade.
The ground beneath Naruto exploded with another pink aura.
Unfortunately for the girl, it was another clone. She then heard an odd sound behind her and saw Naruto holding a medicine ball-sized orb in his hand with a clone shaping the basic form. Before she could react, the clone flung Naruto at her before disappearing, and Naruto shouted out "RASENGAN!" before striking her in the gut with it. To her, it hurt. Like. Hell. She then fell down, unconscious.
Komachi woke up to a large splash of water to her face. Thinking it was Shikieiki again, she jumped up and shouted "I'm sorry, boss! I'll get back to my job! I wasn't sleeping at all!"
"Eh? Boss? Even if I beat you in the fight, you don't have to call me that..." Said an unfamiliar, but familiar voice.
Komachi looked towards the voice and saw the kid she thought was a soul that had beaten her soundly. "What do YOU want?" She asked a bit rudely. "Are you here to rub my defeat in my face?"
"Eh?" The kid looked surprised at this. Now that she wasn't fighting him, she could see how he looked. He had spiky blond hair, blue eyes, and, oddly enough, whisker marks on each of his cheeks, making him look like a fox (And also making Komachi wonder if this kid was somehow related to Ran Yakumo, but the idea quickly died). He had on a bright orange jumpsuit with large patches of black, and a headband with a metal plate over his forehead. A spiral symbol vaguely resembling a leaf was etched on the metal part. "-And so I wanted to see if you were alright." She had forgotten he was talking. She then had a slight blush on her face after realizing that he was concerned for her well-being.
Men are rare in Gensokyo, after all.
"Eh? Are you there-tebayo?" Dammit, she zoned out.
"I'm fine." She answered in a happier tone. "Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot, you know, with me having a bad day and taking it out on you. Let's start over." She held out her hand. "Hi, I'm Komachi Onozuka, the Ferryman- or Ferrywoman, in my case- of the Sanzu River. You are...?"
The boy returned the handshake. "Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage, dattebayo!" Interesting... What was a Hokage? "It's nice to meet you, Komachi-chan! Say, if you don't mind me asking, what were those fancy jutsu you were using to fight me?"
Komachi was confused. Jutsu? What? It sounded like something that hakutaku's friend's enemy would look for over the Internet. "I'm sorry, but what are Jutsu, and what is a Hokage?" She asked. The boy looked slightly shocked before explaining.
"Well, a jutsu is like what I was using during our fight." That was jutsu? She just assumed they were odd spell cards. "They are classified into three different categories: Ninjutsu, the Ninja Arts, which is what I was using, Taijutsu, the Physical Arts, which is basically what it is, and Genjutsu, the Illusionary Arts, which I suck at. The Hokage is the leader of Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, which I am a shinobi of." Shinobi? He was a ninja? Ninjas don't wear orange... "Now, what were those awesome jutsu you were using, tebayo?"
Komachi blinked before laughing a bit. "Silly, those weren't jutsu I was using. They were spell cards." Seeing his confused look, she answered before he even asked. "A spell card is like a jutsu, but we don't need to use those odd hand gestures you were using to make those clones." She held up a spell card. "This is a spell card. By shouting out the name of it..." She held it in front of herself and said "Ritual of Ecstasy". She was surrounded by an orb of pink aura. Suddenly, she switched places with Naruto. "Whatever is meant to happen with a spell card, happens. It's different for each one." She finished and saw Naruto blink for about three seconds before realization finally dawned on his face.
Komachi finally noticed something. "Hey... It isn't that foggy anymore... In fact, it's rather pleasant."
Naruto grinned. "See? It's the perfect day to take a nap to!"
Komachi laughed. "I couldn't agree more! I just might take a nap! Today's slow, anyways." She said before lying down and falling asleep, but not before thinking, 'A pleasant day? No... Perfect weather. This kid is a rare one. You don't see a lot of people with this kind of disposition anymore.' And with that Komachi took another nap.
Unlike Komachi, Naruto could see the red mist slowly coming off of his body and heading towards a large mountain that towered above the heavens. Confused, he ran towards the destination of the mist.
Meanwhile, Reisen Udongein Inaba headed out to find out exactly why the sort of vapor you would find in cloud forests was constantly clinging to her person. But not before falling into another trap set by Tewi.
A/N: Aww, poor Reisen. No matter what, she's still a helpless little bunny, only good for sex appeal.
Yes, Naruto's first opponent was Komachi. Why?
...Why not?
I originally wanted her to give Naruto one of my original spell cards: Explosion Sign: "Fireworks". But I forgot it while I was writing... Sadface.
Also, for those who don't know, Komachi Onozuka's ability is to control distance, and she can use this in her job to make the Sanzu River either wider or shorter, depending on the amount of people that miss the departed. The more people miss you, the shorter the trip. If the amount somehow ends up in the negative, the boat will go nowhere, and Komachi-chan will throw you into the all-consuming waters of the Sanzu. :3
And if you watch any fight against Komachi in SWR, she does indeed attack you with small, multicolored orbs. I'll assume that they're coins due to their colors (Bronze, silver, and gold).
...This thing wouldn't be nearly half as long as it is now if not for the explanations and long-ass A/N... orz
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