A Question of Understanding - A Cullen and Hawke romance, based on the characters and dialogue from Bioware's Dragon Age and Dragon Age 2.
Chapter One
The rumour was that Cullen had gone mad after surviving weeks of Uldred's merciless torture and randomly killed a group of innocent mages. The truth of course was considerably different. The truth was that young Cullen was scarred deeply by the horrific events at the tower, and it took him many months to even begin to heal. But he not gone mad. As for killing mages, Cullen did come close to killing an apprentice – some would argue his actions were justified – but with his blade perilously close to the throat of the young man, Cullen was able to reign in his intense anger and let the boy go.
Cullen was deeply troubled by the episodic fits of rage that had initially plagued him. He sought council from Knight Commander Greagoir and First Enchanter Irving. Irving's kindness and patience in particular helped him through his lyrium withdrawal. Irving believed that lyrium was not only unnecessary considering the strength of Cullen's talents, but was both intensifying his anger and impeding his ability to grieve and to begin to heal. Cullen's physical scars would mend, but the emotional scars would be with him for years to come, Irving had confided to Greagoir.
Regardless of the truth of the matter, Cullen's reputation was in tatters. Rumours have a life of their own, and soon the rumours about Cullen become the truth. His time as a Templar at the Ferelden Circle of Mages was over. He wasn't sure of what he would do, or where he would go, but somehow Ferelden no longer felt like home. So Cullen began to pack up his things one summer day, knowing only that he had to get out. He was deep in thought and did not hear Greagoir enter his room.
"Cullen?" Greagoir said announcing his presence.
"Knight Commander." Cullen replied flatly.
Greagoir could see Cullen's jaw tighten. So much pain for a young man to endure. Cullen had already lost his family to the Blight and so many of his comrades to Uldred's depravity, and now he was losing the only place left that he could call home. The cruelty of it seemed impossible.
"It would seem that the rumours about you have tweaked the interest of Knight Commander Meredith in Kirkwall. She has written to me, asking me to approve a transfer to her charge. She is willing to promote you to Knight Captain."
Cullen didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Oh this is grand news Greagoir. Knight Commander Meredith wants a mad mage killer to lead her Templars – Templars who have sworn to protect mages! Well, it certainly would be an honour to serve such a fine Commander!" Cullen replied sarcastically.
"Cullen – I am sure she realizes the rumours about you have been greatly exaggerated. In truth, she does have a reputation of being, well how shall I say it, enthusiastic in her pursuit of apostates and blood mages. But you yourself have questioned our treatment of mages here in Ferelden. You have wondered if we have been too soft. Perhaps you would prefer Meredith's approach. Or perhaps you could find some middle ground." Greagoir said, pouring himself and Cullen some wine.
Cullen took a hearty swig of wine, and sat down on his worn leather chair.
"I don't know what the answer is Greagoir. Too soft? Too harsh? Does it matter? The Mages turned on us and slaughtered our brothers. It happened right under our noses. Somehow we weren't vigilant enough." Cullen said with an involuntary shudder.
"You know as well as I that what happened here Cullen was a confluence of many factors not the least of which was Loghain's interference, Uldred's personal failings, and the Blight." Greagoir replied wearily.
"Yes Commander. But I experienced firsthand what a mage possessed can do. I cannot, I will not, let that happen again." Cullen grew silent.
"Fair enough, but just remember that you have also experienced what a mage who is not possessed can do Cullen. Need I remind you who nursed you back to health after you were released? Need I tell you how many mages are working with King Alistair to rebuild Ferelden. It is not black and white." Greagoir replied.
"No. It is not. It never is. It if it were, then it would all be so easy wouldn't it?"
Cullen drained the last of his wine. Despite what had happened to him he still believed in the Order perhaps more now than ever. But Cullen had been the victim of the worst kind of evil, and he could neither forgive, nor could he forget. He wondered if what happened to him would taint him forever.
"Very well. Let Knight Commander Meredith know that I gratefully accept her offer. It is not as if I have any other options at the moment." Cullen said smiling weakly.
They embraced warmly. Cullen finished packing. He would leave at first light. As he crawled into his bed, he prayed to the Maker that he would sleep peacefully and not have any nightmares. But it was not to be.
Quietly, in the still of the early morning, Cullen made his way to the docks. From a small window, Greagoir watched as Kester helped load Cullen's gear onto his ferry.
"Maker watch over him and heal his heart. You will find no stronger or more compassionate man than he." Greagoir whispered.
As Cullen gazed out upon the ever diminishing Tower, he felt very alone.
Shaye Hawke took a final swig of ale and said goodnight to Varric and Isabella. It had been a long day, and she was exhausted.
"Bethany and I will meet you two here in the morning and checkout Wilmod's camp. We owe it Macha to try to find her brother." She said.
"Is that wise?" asked Varric. " Bringing Bethany that is. Wilmod is a Templar."
"No, it is probably not wise. But we have little choice. Fenris is nowhere to be found, and Anders, well, you know Anders. Bethany will no doubt be more… discrete, shall we say."
Isabelle chuckled. "Yes, Justice is hardly discrete and I doubt he would be keen on helping to find missing Templars! Well, I am done. Good night Hawke." Isabella grabbed a bottle of wine and walked to her room, or rather, swayed to her room.
Walking in the cool night air helped to clear her head. She had been living in Kirkwall more than two years now and although it was likely the longest time she had spent in any one place her entire life, it still did not feel like home.
Since her brother Carver's death and the shock of learning her family fortune was gone, her mother had become morose. The tension between her mother and her uncle pervaded the entire house. Bethany lived in constant fear of the Templars, which were a far greater force here in Kirkwall then in Ferelden. And although Shaye wondered if the horror stories that their parents had told them about the Gallows were exaggerated, it was clear that being a mage seemed more of a curse than a blessing. Shaye tried to avoid being home as much as she could. She loved her family dearly and did her best to take care of their needs. Some days it just seemed too exhausting.
The foursome made their way up the winding path to Wilmod's camp. It was a beautiful day with the sun shining in a clear blue sky. The smell of pine needles was intoxicating. As they approached the final rise, Shaye could see two men both Templars, engaged in a rather animated conversation. As they drew within a few feet of the twosome, one Templar hit the other with such force, that he fell to the ground. With his sword at the boy's throat, Shaye yelled out and began to run.
"Leave the boy alone Templar." Shaye screamed, bow cocked, ready, and aimed at the Templar's shoulder.
Her command was met with hard, steely grey eyes.
"This is not your affair Miss. This is Templar business. Stand back." The Templar shot back menacingly.
Within seconds the boy, whom Shaye realized must be Wilmod, transformed himself into a hideous demon, and suddenly, they were surrounded by the abominations the demon had summoned. Cullen was attacked first and answered with lightening quick speed, bashing his shield into the shade's slick body. Weapons quickly drawn, she, Varric, Isabella, and Bethany responded quickly and forcefully to the attack. With the demon and his minions contained, a bloody, sweating, and shaken Shaye approached the Templar. The steely grey eyes that had first met her, had somehow softened and were so full of pain that Shaye's heart began to hurt.
"I apologise Ser. It would seem I jumped to an erroneous conclusion." Shaye said. .
"Erroneous or not, it appears that I am lucky you arrived when you did. You have my gratitude." The Templar replied bowing. "I am Knight Captain Cullen."
"And I am Shaye Hawke. This is Varric, Isabella, and my sister Bethany."
Cullen bowed in acknowledgment and thanks. Raising an eyebrow as he gazed at Bethany's staff, he said nothing.
They sat down around the smoldering camp fire. Varric passed around a flask of water and all drank greedily.
"Ser Cullen, can you tell us what has happened here?" Shaye asked gently.
"I was trying to get information from Wilmod. His behaviour of late has been … well strange." Cullen said
"Well beating the crap out of someone is one way to get information I suppose." Quipped Varric.
"I had no intention of harming the lad. But he had to know I was serious. Recruits have gone missing and lives are at stake." Cullen replied glaring at Varric.
"So, there is no demonic Meredith-inspired ritual, like the other recruits claim?" Shaye asked with a smile.
Cullen laughed. "Is that what they are saying? Oh Maker. The greatest danger of the initiation ritual is that one of the recruits will fall asleep and an officer might have to cuff him. Honestly, those recruits can be worse gossips than an old ladies knitting circle!" Cullen grinned widely.
Shaye was stuck by his genuine warmth and affection for his young charges, and so, after listening carefully to the details of Cullen's search for the missing Templars, Shaye, to Bethany's dismay, agreed to help the Knight Captain.
~XXX~