Of Cupcakes and Comets, Smoothies and Stars
Warnings for the Whole Story:
Ultra-AU, baby!
Severely cracky
Weird crossovers (Star Trek XI/Pushing Daisies/Jonas Brothers/Pirates of the Caribbean/Gossip Girl)
Self-inserts and friend-inserts
Fairly short chapters (on average)
Frequent inside jokes
Several uses of bad language
Slash (that is male/male) relationships
Several odd plot twists
Innuendos galore!
If any of this looks set to offend you, stay away....
Disclaimer: I own NONE of it. The STXI crew belong to J.. Pushing Daisies belongs to Bryan Fuller. The Jonas Brothers belong to themselves (as far as I know, anyway). Captain Jack Sparrow belongs to Jerry Bruckheimer. The Time Warp belongs to its rightful owner. Ally, Emily, Immy, Kath and Sarah belong to themselves, respectively, and Jess belongs to me. Tl;dr I just play in other people's sandboxes. It's fun.
Of Cupcakes and Comets, Smoothies and Stars
Chapter 1
It was a calm, quiet night in the cool depths of space, and all was still aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise as it sailed among the stars. It was a routine peace-keeping check-up mission, so the ship was set on autopilot and the crew were getting some much-needed rest. The ship itself was mostly silent. The only noise that could be heard was the gentle humming of the engines, the ship's heart ticking on.
The old analogue clock on the mini-kitchen's wall, still running on old Earth Greenwich Mean Time, shunted its hand further towards midnight. The mini-kitchen, like the clock itself, was an anomaly on board the sleek, sophisticated and futuristic Enterprise. It had been designed with its two 'chefs' in mind – as natives of the early 21st century cryogenically frozen and woken up centuries later, their kitchen was the place the two teenagers felt most at home. It had been based on memories of their homes and old archive files from MFI. It had tiled walls and floors, with brand-new kitchen appliances that had been styled to look like 'old-school Earth' ones. But most importantly, the mini-kitchen was soundproof, as its two residents had a penchant for playing their music (loudly) and singing along to their favourite tracks (badly).
"So... what? I'm really confused. Are we adding lemons or not?" Jess asked, dipping a finger into the buttercream she was concocting.
"I don't know," her best friend, Sarah, replied thoughtfully, "If we add lemons we get a kick, which will definitely wake everyone up. On the other hand... we're running low..."
"Already? We'll need to talk to Scotty then." Jess mused.
"Mmm... Oh, let's stick them in! I doubt anyone will notice anyway!" Sarah laughed, beginning to add liberal amounts of lemon juice to the fruit mixture. Jess leant over her and turned the music up. The genre they loved was now called 'classic pop', although the girls didn't see it that way. To them, the Jonas Brothers were eternal (and the teens hadn't even heard about the JoBroClones yet!)
Tall, ginger, pointy Sarah and shorter, brunette, punky Jess had joined Starfleet three months previously, after their distress flare on Roldaria had been noticed by a Mr. M. Scott. The pair had been beamed aboard and, once Admiral Pike had heard their story, offered them a place on the Enterprise's crew – down in the kitchens making smoothies and cupcakes from old Earth recipes. The teenagers' story was an interesting one that the crew had delighted in hearing, and found even more amusing each time it was requested, as the girls would remember fresh details that often had crew members crying with laughter. No, it hadn't taken them long to feel at home at all...
~*~