Walking into the courtyard, the first thing that Loki noticed was that there seemed to be a lack of the usual brutish training going on, as there usually was at this time of day. His curiosity was further encouraged when he noticed the Warriors Three and Lady Sif sat there with their weaponry but with no Thor. They all turned to him when he rounded the corner, sending him suspicious looks.
"I'm not here to cause trouble, so you can settle down." He rolled his eyes, "I was just looking for Thor. I thought he would be here, training with you."
"Well, you were wrong." Fandral said, looking down his nose at Loki. Said God sighed. All of them still seemed to have an issue with him. Since it was revealed a few years before that Loki was not biologically the Son of Odin and Frigga things had changed a lot. Despite his initial upset over being lied to, and losing any claim to the throne, it soon became the case that there was a tension forming between Loki and the God of Thunder. That tension didn't take long to become romantic, and the two had been involved romantically ever since.
Frustratingly, the dislike that the warriors had for him before had mutated, and they all now thought that he was going to hurt or betray Thor in some way, and took every chance they could to let him know.
"Do you happen to know where he is?" He asked.
"He's busy," Volstagg said. "He's sorting stuff out for King Odin ready for the mission he's leaving for tomorrow."
"Mission? He has said nothing about a mission." Loki said, confused by what the large man was telling him.
"If you must know, we're all heading over to Jotunheim to negotiate with your kind." Fandral sneered. The Frost Giants. No wonder Thor hadn't told him. The other man always said that he didn't tell him about Frost Giant business as he didn't want to upset him. But there was always a part of him, deep in the back of his consciousness that wondered if there was an element of mistrust, as if Thor felt he was going to betray him too. The words, and the information given struck a nerve in Loki, and he lashed out, intending to hit a few nerves back.
"And I'm assuming that you, like always, are planning to trail after him like children following their Mother?" He said with a steely tone.
"We are going. Not that it's any of your business." Hogun spoke.
Loki rolled his eyes, "What a surprise! What with you three acting like there's nothing better to do than to grovel at Thor's feet and you," He looked pointedly at Sif, "being hopelessly and unrequitedly in love with him."
"Stop it, Loki. None of us are in the mood to quarrel with you right now." Sif glared.
"Can you not handle a little teasing, Lady Sif?" The God of Mischief smirked, "Or is it the fact that it's true that's bothering you? That you are head-over-heels for our fine Prince, but you have to live with the fact that he wants me instead?"
The warrior straightened her spine and her glare intensified. "At least he trusts me enough to tell me about the missions. I'd rather be a friend and soldier with his complete trust than be uninformed and kept to the side like you are."
Loki tried his best to keep his hurt hidden. Sif couldn't know that she's hit him right in his insecurities. Sadly his poker face was apparently lacking since the dark-haired woman was quick to latch on to the line of argument.
"Before you start to gloat, I'd maybe think about the fact that it is me that Thor consults, mission or personal pursuit. Do you help him with those things? Because the way I see it, you're kept out of the way so you don't mess them up. I bet that if you weren't around for a day, nobody would notice. It'd be a nice, quiet day where we can get on with our lives without you interfering!"
The hurt didn't waste time in twisting into anger that bubbled up his chest and out of his mouth, "I'm sorry to say, My Lady, that just because you don't like being told you will never be with the man you love doesn't mean you can lash out of me. It was a fair fight, and I came out as the victor. He chose me."
A couple of days had passed following the aggressive conversation. Thor's mission had come and gone without much commotion, but Loki was still waiting for Thor to tell him the full details. It terrified him to know that if the Warriors Three and Lady Sif had not said anything, Loki would have no idea that the mission was not a routine diplomatic visit. He couldn't help but wonder if Sif was right. Could it be possible that if he disappeared, things would be better? As Sif had pointed out, nobody told him anything anyway, and when he asked for information he was either shooed or he was blamed for every mistake and problem.
After mulling it over for a number of hours, Loki realised that the only way he could calm his fears were if he followed the female warrior's suggestion of disappearing. But he needed to plan it, leave clues. If he made it as easy as he possibly could for Thor to find him, the other couldn't use the excuse of the task being too difficult.
The following day, Loki put his plan into action. Upon rising from his and Thor's shared bed (where said God was still fast asleep). He had decided to go to Niflheim, which was similar in terrain and conditions to Jotunheim. The whole world was covered in ice and snow and Loki knew that he could live there quite comfortably as long as he was in his natural, Jotun form.
The first thing he did was to change out of his sleep robes into a set of his warmer day robes. Then he packed a bag of foods that had been left on the table in their room the night before. Following that, he set off towards Niflheim. On the way he made sure to leave an incredibly strong magical signature. If anyone with any awareness of magic were to encounter it they would know it was him. Therefore, Frigga and Heimdall were more than capable of tracking the signature to Niflheim.
Just before he left, however, he made sure that a number of people – guards and civilians alike – saw him wandering in his natural form, red eyes glowing with intent.
A day later, Loki found himself still cosied up in the cave he's found upon arrival. Said cave was only around half a days walk from where he first arrived, which had been the usual arrival location for any travellers coming from Asgard. The Prince had also ensured that his trail was obvious – not only was his magical signature as obvious as it was in his home realm, but he had spelled it so that those who were looking for him without intention of harming him could see his footprints frozen into the snow.
The blue man had faith though. It had only been a day. Whilst he did expect his loved ones (notably Thor and Frigga, maybe Odin if the King was planning on lecturing him) to notice his absence, it wasn't abnormal to find that the younger God had holed himself up somewhere quiet to enjoy some solitude before returning to the hubbub that was palace life. So Loki would be fair. Paired with Thor's excellent observation skills (note the sarcasm), it would likely take him a day or so to notice that Loki hadn't returned from one of his hiding spots. On top of this, half a days travel to his current location meant he reckoned there would be someone arriving at some point the following day.
Hence why he was happily wrapped in a blanket, munching on some odd bits of food, and taking the time to enjoy the peaceful cold around him. Since he had learned – and calmed down about – his true heritage, it had begun to make sense that he enjoyed the breezy winters of Asgard much more than the humid summers despite the rest of the population disagreeing. In the evening, he renewed the protection spells surrounding his cave, before falling asleep to thoughts of his return to Asgard and the bragging rights he would receive over Lady Sif.
The next day, Loki's mood started to sour. No Thor. No Frigga. Not even any guards. Perhaps he had made the clues to difficult? Whilst he had thought them incredibly obvious, it wasn't exactly like Thor was famed for his skills of observation and deduction. It was only the third day of this escapade after all. If they had noticed him missing, but not the clues, then perhaps they thought it was a kidnapping. Loki scowled at the thought. As if anyone could kidnap him! Even so, the ruler in Thor would not want to rule out the possibility in case of an upcoming war. He would get to him. Eventually.
It was somewhere during day four and five that Loki lost hope that Thor was looking for him. The God was probably busy, he told himself. He was being trained to run a realm, and keep the peace between many more. Thor probably knew he could look after himself, that he could get back on his own. The dark-haired Prince decided he would go back tomorrow. His food was low, and he missed his bed (not that he would admit it to anyone). Part of him couldn't help but think that Sif was right: they hadn't looked for him because it was quieter without, easier to work and plan and train. That when he did arrive back he would get a scolding from Odin for trying to cause more drama, attempting to distract his warriors. Maybe he wouldn't go back tomorrow. If he waited a little longer, he could avoid the talking down. He would need to return home soon though.
Entering his and Thor's rooms, he smiled slightly at the sight, setting down his belongings for the servants to clean. After bathing and changing, he found out from the staff in the palace that Odin, Frigga and Thor were all in the Throne room, meeting with a foreign visitor. He slipped into the room, cloaking himself with magic until he reached Thor's side. He then shimmered into visibility again, standing tall in his smartest robes.
"You're late!" Thor whispered just loud enough to be heard by Loki, "Where have you been?"
"I wa-" Loki was about to explain his time in Niflheim when Thor conituned.
"Why are you wearing those Robes, My Dear Loki? Mother sent a missive to you yesterday to wear your blue robes." The blonde God looked at him with an odd mix of fondness and disapproval, "Must you always try and stir things up?"
He hadn't noticed. Thor hadn't noticed his disappearance. And from the sounds of it, neither had Frigga. Sif had been right. Loki immediately shut down his emotions, his face hardening from an attentive gaze to a cold and indifferent mask. Nobody noticed. Nobody cared.
He stood like this for the whole meeting, ignoring the worried looks he received from Thor. When the doors had softly closed behind the visitors, who were being lead to their quarters, Loki turned to leave. A large hand on his shoulder halted his progress.
"What is the matter Loki?" Thor's puppy eyes shone down at him. The younger God almost gave in but a helpful reminder from his shattered self-worth helped him keep his resolve. Nobody noticed. Nobody cared.
"Nothing." He tried to pull away, but Thor's hand held firm.
"Oh c'mon, Loki. We all know you love complaining about your misfortune, what's changed?" Fandrall sneered.
Nobody noticed. Nobody cared.
Loki turned away from them all and towards the door. "It is nothing. Please let me go."
It seemed however, that Frigga had taken notice. The dark-haired God could also see Odin stood at his throne, watching the proceedings intently, but never once moving to interfere.
"What is wrong, Loki?" She said softly, reaching out to rest her hand on his cheek gently. Nobody noticed. Nobody cared.
"Nothing!" He shouted, throwing the hands on him – the hand of people he loved, people he thought cared about him – away from him violently. "LET ME GO, LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Shocked, they did as he asked. Loki left the King, Queen, Thor and his warriors in the Throne room. Loki only got as far as the courtyard when Thor's voice stopped him.
"Loki!" He boomed, "Please, tell me what's wrong?" He asked. The warriors three and Lady Sif were there in the background, trying to offer the couple privacy but desperate to hear what had caused such an outburst.
"Why don't' you ask Lady Sif?" Loki said, "She knows all about it. In fact, she was the one who challenged me."
Realisation crossed her face. "You did it!" She asked, triumph overcoming her. "I told you! You can't really be upset because your lover, who is coincidentally the Prince and has duties, didn't notice you were missing for a day?"
"Missing for a day?" Thor was understandably confused.
"Your wonderful Lady Sif," Loki started, only looking at the blond man in front of him, "believed that if I were to disappear for a day, you would not notice."
"This is what you were upset about?" Volstagg asked. "Thor is busy. We were planning for the visit. You disappear for a day on occasion, and he had different things to worry about."
"This is where you are all wrong." Loki said. "Had I just been gone for a day, I would not have cared. I do it regularly, as you have so kindly pointed out. I decided to test you, to see how long you could go without noticing me missing. I left clues too."
Sif, ever the brightest (though Loki was loathe to admit it), was the first to work it out. "Clues? How long were you gone?"
"Yes clues. Magical signatures, easily traceable footprints. I child could have worked it out." He left the other question unanswered. Nobody noticed. Nobody cared.
"How long?" Thor repeated Sif's question. Loki refused to meet anyone's eyes when he answered.
"The first day, I expected no-one. Too soon. The second day I was surprised you weren't there, but gave you the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the clues were too hard, or you were busy. Then there was day three, four and five. It was day six that I decided you knew I was gone, and were just enjoying the peace. Then I get back here, and find that none of you noticed. I was missing for a week! It may not sound like a long time, but trust me, it is. It goes on forever when you're waiting in a cave for your loved ones to notice you're not where you're meant to be. Nobody noticed! Nobody cared that I was gone!"
It seemed that at some point in this outburst, Frigga had arrived, as her arms soon wrapped around Loki. Thor stood in front of the other God, face openly displaying the shock, confirming Loki's hypothesis further. After a second, the pair started apologising. It seemed that the warriors had left.
"I'm so sorry Loki! I don't kn-"
"-we've been so busy, my dear, it must have been all the planni-"
"- promise it won't happen agai-"
"- love you, we do. Please forgive us, give us another chance?"
The two kept on talking, desperate to apologise, to gain forgiveness and return to normalcy. He needed them to stop talking. Now. He needed to recover himself.
"I forgive you." He didn't. Not really. They didn't notice, they didn't care, despite saying they did. But it shut them up. Shutting them up, accepting their apology meant that he could move on to getting some of that self-worth back. He'd done it once following the revelation of his adoption. He'd do it again.
Things appeared to return back to normal, if an outsider was asked. Thor and Loki continued their relationship. Frigga continued to teach Loki what she could about magic. But it was not normal. With Thor, Loki was quieter, less likely to relax and have a laugh. He didn't interrupt Thor's training to fight with the warriors and Sif anymore. He spent more time in the library, reading quietly. When asked, Loki wouldn't lie. He would say he trusted his own company, his own love for himself (that was slowly rebuilding), more than he trusted the love of others now. It made Thor sad. But he just supported Loki, hoping he would one day be lucky enough to regain the trust he lost so spectacularly.
Frigga, similarly, found Loki more withdrawn. He more often than not turned her offer of lessons down. It was only when he could find no reason to turn her down and was forced to accept that he attended them. In these lessons, what had once been an exploration of magic shared between a Mother and Son had now become a chance for Loki to show Frigga that she wasn't needed. That he could learn all this and more alone. She hated it. Seeing him desperate to prove that she wasn't needed, that she could do other things, better things, with her time. But she also knew it was her fault. So she just supported Loki, hoping he would one day be lucky enough to regain the trust she lost so quickly.
Odin was the only one not suffering from his Son's indifference. Days after Loki's return, he had sought the other out alone.
"I want you to know, Son, that I knew you were gone. I knew you were in Niflheim in that little cave. I knew you left footprints in the snow. You may not believe me, but I knew."
Loki didn't know why, but he believed the older God. Possibly because he was always spying. Possibly because, when asked to explain further, he knew more details that Loki had explained.
"My Son. I want you to know that despite everything, I adopted you. I chose you to be Prince. You may never be King, but you are always my Son and I shall treat you as such. This includes disciplining you when you misbehave and telling you when you're wrong. But it also includes making sure you're safe for as long as I can."
Their bond had been shattered for centuries. But that day, Loki felt that bond start to rebuild. As for his bond with Frigga and Thor, they weren't irreparable. He had thought that of his and Odin's but look how that had changed. But that didn't alter the fact that it would take many years for them to recover.