When love falls apart
Maybe I was crazy, and probably I was… I really don't know, I mean falling in love with someone like her is just crazy.
She was this beautiful singing star, probably what people called "Forbidden Love" that's what I had. Not the kind of "forbidden love" Amu and Ikuto had, because theirs wasn't really that forbidden- I mean they were enemies and I said were because Amu left the guardians to be with Ikuto, and so help him find the embryo and set him free, and all that babbling stuff- but mine and Utaus' was just impossible.
I was so deeply, madly in love with her… and she probably didn't even know I existed. That kind of let me down, though I didn't let it show off… I told Tadase once, and he was quite good with it… but he said it was impossible… that didn't make me feel better, if you wanna know the truth, but I pretend as if I was fine with it—Tadase can be so damn crude with the truth sometimes—.
I liked jogging in the mornings at the park; it helped me clear my mind, to think straight about different kinds of stuff—like this kinds of stuff for example—. Daichi decided to stay at home, or more likely I told him to do so. I really needed a time on my own, a time to think, and a time to reconnect with my inner-self… even if that inner-self represented Daichi…
-"Ugh…" I opened my eyes, and suddenly right there in front of my very own eyes was a girl, I was on top of her, by accident of course. I didn't mean to be on top of her, we just kind of crashed into each other while I was jogging and she was… doing whatever a girl normally does I guess.
I jumped up immediately.
-"I'm sorry, I didn't see you coming" I smiled at her, she stared at me… she wore those big fly-like glasses, I hated those things, it only hid the beauty of a girls' true eyes. I stretched my hand at her, so you know I could help her up. She grabbed my hand, and so I slowly pulled her up.
She was really pretty, I mean don't get me wrong her glasses were horrendous but her face was pretty, kind of elegant and cute.
-"I'm Kukai" I smiled at her again; I just couldn't help smiling to cute girls, besides smiling was kind of my character, cheerful, Brightside Kukai, that was me. She nodded shyly; she looked even cuter like that… then I noticed her dress all stained in coffee… now I felt guilty.
-"Oh man, I'm so sorry" I really didn't even feel like going for coffee at this time of the morning, but I dropped all her coffee over her so I, as a gentleman, had to buy her a new one right? —Yeah of course I had "Please, allow me to buy you another one" I politely asked, the girl looked at me, she looked around before answering, then she nod, I nodded too.
We started walking off to the coffee shop—the coffee shop wasn't that far—we talked about almost everything, except Shugo Charas, probably.
We didn't really had a specific topic, we just kept on changing it every once in a while— for example, l knew a little bit more about her, she liked singing, she hated bossy people, her favourite colours where black though she also liked purple and red, she really liked coffee, and she once hated her brothers' crush, but now that they are actually dating she likes her very much… see? Our topic wasn't really something just different ideas, and answers. As for me, well I told her my name (weird she wouldn't give me hers') I told her I liked sports, my favourite colours were blue, green and red (she laughed cutely when she figured I liked red too), I didn't like bossy people either but I pretty much ignored them, I didn't really care much about coffee and I didn't have any brothers or sisters.
-"If you don't like coffee why are you asking me for one?" returning to the topic of coffee, this conversation was the weirdest I've ever had with a girl.
-"Well… I just couldn't let you go without your every day coffee, could I?" She laughed while I smiled at her. I couldn't help smiling at her; it was inevitable, she had the most beautiful laugh I've ever heard, and even though her eyes were hidden behind those fly-like glasses of hers, I could see her eyes were purple, like light sparkling purple… and in her… those glasses didn't really look that bad.
After a few more minutes we finally got to the coffee shop, it was completely empty… maybe because it was really early, or because that coffee shop near the park was told to be haunted (which I believe was non-sense). The girl wanted just to buy her drink and go, and she wanted to pay it herself… but I didn't let her—instead, I asked for a two-table and then when we were already at the table ordered her dairy coffee.
Inside the coffee shop, it was really hot, I didn't really get why the girl kept using her glasses (there was no sun) her scarf (it wasn't even cold), and this 2 maybe 3 jackets on (it was hot)—weird, but not the weird kind of weird, but the cute kind of weird. I laughed at the idea.
-"What's so funny?" she asked raising one of her eyebrows beneath her fly-like glasses, she looked cute doing that… well she looked cute almost always, at least today—doing all kind of cute, little, sometimes crazy faces that just killed me.
-"Oh, it's nothing" I show off my most killer-like-grin; she blushed and looked away into this huge coffee window "Why don't I get to know your name?" I didn't want her to feel pressured, but I just had to know. My heart strangely raced whenever she giggled, blushed or smiled, like butterflies swimming across my stomach, like my first time ever on a rollercoaster… the way I felt whenever I saw Utau…it was seriously so weird, I felt like I've seen her before already.
-"I—I" she started off, then her cell phone began ringing, she opened it, then her look turned annoyed. I swallowed; maybe I made her annoyed…
"I'm sorry, I have to go, thanks for the coffee" she grabbed all her stuff while she spoke, then she kissed my cheek and went out of the coffee shop.
Before she kissed me, I was planning on grabbing her hand and so stop her from getting away, but at the moment she kissed me… my mind just went empty, like there wasn't anything on it at all. —It made me feel odd, though—and the worst part was that probably I wouldn't even get the chance to ask her again, I mean which are the possibilities we ever meet up again? —None. And yet, I wanted to see her again.
I walked back home, still thinking about her over and over and over. It was like I was hypnotized, I didn't feel like myself, I felt lost into her… like if my mind wasn't with me, I mean it was in me but not making any sense at all, and just thinking about her. Her cute little giggles and that smile she had… she was even prettier than Utau herself—I couldn't really believe I was saying that, I loved Utau more than anything and yet this mysterious, stranger crashed with me, and suddenly I fell for her. I didn't know how or when, but it happened—.
-"Kukai-chan!" Daichi greeted at the instant I entered my room; I really didn't feel like talking to him, I just wanted to see her again.
I raised my hand, like saying hi—he looked strangely at me "You ok?" yeah, I was fine, I mean my heart was gone but for everything else, Tch! Please I was fine.
-"I'm just a little tired…" I admitted, it wasn't a lie, I was tired. Daichi flew around me for a couple of minutes, and then settle down by his sleeping place.
After a while just lying there, I felt like giving Amu a buzz… I just didn't know why, but something told me I had to call Amu, so I sought for her name on my contact list, then finally I got her, so I marked—I really hope Amu answered, and not Ikuto… I mean, I don't know why Ikuto answered Amus' phone… like you couldn't call once without Ikuto being around—.
-"Yo!" great, as much as I wished for Amu to answer her phone, I still got Ikuto to answer.
-"Hey, Ikuto… is Amu around?" I didn't even say hi to him because I really needed to talk to her, like I felt like I had to tell her about this girl I met at the park.
-"She's taking a bath…" Ikuto could be such a perverted guy when he wants to, I knew Amu wouldn't be taking a bath whenever he was around; maybe he fooled Yaya, Tadase, and Nadeshiko, but not me! "Then take the phone to her"—if she indeed was bathing, I know Ikuto wouldn't even complain about giving her the phone while she was bathing herself.
-"Kay…"—then I regretted I called… Ikuto really wasn't lying when he said she was taking a bath, the following conversation went like this:
-"Amu, Kukai wants to talk to you"
-"Kyaa!! You sick perverted, GET OUT!"
-"But, Kukai really wants to talk to you" (HA! And he even blamed me)
-"Tell him to wait then!! NOW GET OUT!"
-"But…"
-"It's ok! I'll call back later" I screamed through the phone, hoping so badly for Ikuto to listen, I didn't want to make Ikutos' and Amus' relationship any more hard than it already was—what I mean with this is that, see Ikuto is older than Amu for 3 years, it's not big difference but the point is:
Ikuto likes fooling around with her, I mean she loves her and all but his personality includes teasing people, and fooling around with them a lot—now he fools around with Amu in a special way, sometimes he would take off his shirt and so Amu would blushed, and quickly look away hiding her real desire to look or he'll sometimes wander around with only his boxers on, which makes Amu quite red (to be honest), and when he notices this he goes and hugs Amu, causing her to almost have a nose-bleed seriously—Amu is REALLY attracted to Ikuto but she doesn't really show her… desire?—I don't know, but the age difference, Ikutos' provocations, and Amus' stubbornness are getting things a little uncomfortable for them.
-"You're sure? She's just coming out" yeah, I could call back later!
-"Seriously, it's not so important after all…" ok, I lied—it was really important for Amu to answer the phone, but making Ikuto go through so much screaming, and punches… man it just wasn't fair.
-"Kay, man" he hung up the phone, I didn't expect him to do so really… but what's not to expect from Ikuto? I sighted as I placed the phone on my bedroom desk. Maybe I'll have to call later, or not call at all…
It felt weird; this girl… is like she took off with my complete existence, like she ran away with my heart…