Zuko is not enough.
His father has said it so many times, and in so many ways, that Zuko felt, deep in his bones, that he wasn't enough.
That was okay, though. He may be a disgrace but at least his sister wasn't.
His sister Azula: the perfect one; the cruel one; the royal one.
Zuko could go on and on about how much better she is at everything compared to himself, but that never ends well for him. The scar on his face is a testament to that. As well as numerous other scars and burns.
Though he is not enough himself, Zuko knows the rest of the world is.
Which is why, when his eyes open and are not met with the ceiling of his room in the Fire Nation Palace he does not panic. He pulls his legs under him and politely rests pale hands in his lap.
Zuko stares off into thick mist and listens to faint moans and screams that carry on the wind.
A man sits suddenly before him and Zuko tries very hard not to look away from the man's warm brown eyes.
They're too much like the little airbender's eyes; kind and empathetic even to the very end.
Warm brown eyes look at Zuko like he's done nothing to warrant this Hellish place. The man cracks a smile at Zuko and his face somehow loses all the bad times from before.
They stare at each other for a moment; Zuko being unsure of how to proceed and the man looking pleased at his silence.
Zuko is vividly reminded of both the little airbender and his sister and then thinks what they might have looked like if they'd been meshed together.
The man across from Zuko suddenly bursts into loud laughter.
He realizes that it isn't just this man laughing; Zuko had been talking out loud the entire time and there are other people – spirits—laughing at his thoughts.
"My name is Wan," starts the man, with a smirk thrown over his shoulder towards the direction of clear, chime-like laughter.
"Yours is Zuko, right? Fire prince and what not," here Wan gives a flippant wave with his right hand and manages to slap his own face. "So, do you know what you're doin' here, prince?"
Wan raises both brows in an attempt to look serious and the same chime-like laughter erupts from behind him.
Zuko breathes in deeply, casting his mind around for different topics other than the one Wan wanted to talk about but his mouth is moving on its own spouting out whatever half-baked idea comes out of his brain. He decides to just cut right to the chase and lets the words flow out.
They hurt; actually burned worse than anything he'd felt in his entire life. He still said them.
I killed the Avatar.
…
She could heal me…
Zuko isn't thinking when he lets Katara gently cup his scarred face in her hands.
Zuko isn't thinking when the wall opens up and reveals his uncle and the Avatar.
He only starts to consider an alternative (gentle, calloused hands holding his face pulling him closer closer closer) when Azula arrives and then his heart is locked down tightly in his chest. He knows what choice he'll make and he tries to ignore the feeling of the waterbender's (Katara Katara her name is Katara) hands and instead attacks the Avatar.
Zuko stares at the boy and doesn't understand why his father is so afraid of him. The airbender is younger than Zuko; younger than Azula, and this is what scares him most of all, because his sister is the prodigy but even she had trouble with fighting adult benders.
This boy doesn't.
He is fluid in his movements, graceful and beautiful like Azula but lacking any of her viciousness. He fights off every earthbender and dodges Azula's fire with startling ease. The waterbender is rougher with her attacks but no less graceful than the others. Zuko watches her fight and has to shake himself awake when he is almost hit with the Avatar's water-whip.
There is a yearning in his chest as the trio regroup; his uncle is leaning heavily against the glowing crystals behind him; the waterbender is protecting the Avatar's prone body with every fiber of her being.
Azula shouts something at him but he can barely hear voice let alone her words above the sudden shrieking winds. The Avatar is rising up, up, up into the air, glowing bright blue and opening his arms to—
Dead.
The boy is burning while Zuko lowers his arm, still hot to the touch from releasing the unexpected blue fire and Azula is there by his side, a smile on her face with victory written all over it.
The waterbender and his uncle are captured and they all are to begin their journey towards the Fire Nation right this second. Zuko is still staring at the charred remains of the boy who saved him and who's only fault was that he was born to the wrong element.
When his uncle calls his name, low but strong, Zuko feels as if an invisible noose has been wrapped around his lungs and is slowly suffocating him. He meets his uncle's gaze and is ashamed to admit that the sting in his eyes is from grief and not the wind like he thought.
Uncle Iroh looks at him and there is an offer there, hidden inside his golden eyes, and Zuko does not pretend to not know what he wants.
"Join us and we can work towards forgiveness together. Please, Zuko."
But Zuko is weak and he turns away from the eyes of his most beloved uncle and meets his sisters. Azula glares at where the prisoners are being loaded and murmurs something to him. He thinks it's an admonishment for his tears which have not stopped since the Avatar's death (murder); it's an attempt at comfort, an area that Azula has little to no experience in.
"Don't worry, Zuzu; Uncle won't be executed for this… lapse in judgement. He'll go to the prison nearest to the palace and you'll be able to visit as often as you need."
He doesn't mind the annoying nickname she uses now. Anything's better to hear than the sound of the boy screaming as he's yanked back to consciousness; his flesh crackling and sizzling as Zuko's fire destroys everything in its wake.
Everything afterward is a blur to him.
He knows they arrive at the Fire Nation a week after leaving the Earth Kingdom. He also knows that when he's pulled along by Azula into the throne room he isn't imaging the sudden increase of heat. The waterbender hisses out curses at guards who touch her with superheated armor and Zuko wakes up.
Just in time, it would seem, as while Zuko was lost in a cozy sea of numbness the Fire Lord had been speaking. Now, Azula is speaking and gesturing to those behind her but Zuko is drifting away until there is a pinch from Azula on his arm (nottheonehemurderedtheAvatarwith) that drags him back to the unfortunate present.
"Well?" Says the Fire Lord, and the flames in front of him burn brightly when Zuko does nothing more than stare at him.
Azula saves him from another scarring and he admires her spirit for speaking to her father like that.
(Ozai is not his father has never been his father will never be his father the way Uncle Iroh was)
She's still talking and Zuko… is spacing out.
He doesn't realize how long they've been standing until Azula subtly pulls him to the cushions in front of them and his legs start to cramp. They're a welcome distraction to the burning arm that was used to murder a child. Compared to the rest of his body Zuko feels cold on the inside. He knows it's because he's murdered the Avatar and he's going to suffer for it.
He deserves it.
Zuko is being led out of the throne room by a servant and he is briefly confused until he catches sight of Azula standing before the waterbender.
They close the massive doors behind him but he can still hear what's happening on the other side. There is the violent crackle of lightening and Zuko begins to sprint down familiar corridors, past half-remembered rooms and startled passerby; he continues his fast pace until he reaches his old room, panting and sobbing.
The waterbender—Katara—is dead.
Zuko knows this as well as he knows that his time is running out. The tightness is there, still compressing and hurting but deserved for what he did.
Zuko approaches his bed, lies down, and waits.
…
It's the end of his story and Zuko can see that Wan is upset by it.
"That's it?"
Zuko stares blankly at Wan before nodding.
Wan looks incredulous, then furious, then… accepting?
"That settles it, then!" Wan punches his fist into his open palm, as if he just found a solution to a problem. Which he had. "You've got the opportunity of a lifetime here, Zuko; all you need to do is hear me out and then say yes."
Zuko is confused as Wan continues talking to him instead of throwing him into the thickening mist surrounding them. His confusion only grows as Wan offers him his 'opportunity of a lifetime' of time-travel.
Because Zuko is obviously dead and the spirits around him are tormenting him for murdering an innocent, he agrees to Wan's impossible quest.
Save Azula; save the Avatar—whose name is Aang, surprisingly—; save the world.
There's a giggle of joy from behind him, and Zuko turns around sharply to meet the relieved grey eyes of the Avatar. Or rather, Aang.
His mouth remains closed but tilts into a crooked grin while his voice hits Zuko like a ton of bricks.
"Don't worry, Zuko! You'll do great," Aang sounds like his Mother used to when trying to coach him into playing with others kids. The comparison brings tears to his eyes and Aang attempts to brush them away. His hands go through Zuko's face and he shivers when he sees glimpses of past lives.
Aang pulls away completely and backs into the mist. Wan gently guides him to his feet and points him towards a section of mist that is thicker than all the rest.
The last Zuko sees of Wan is him stepping into the mist while giving a thumbs-up.
…
AN- New story idk when I'll update but I'll work on it when I'm not busy.