A/N: So I've jumped onto this ship and honestly it's quite addictive, especially with the cute little fics the other better authors write (: So here's my own attempt, which probably won't be the best, but it's my contribution to the possible (weirdest) straight pairing in this manga/anime, yeah?

XXX

'Levi' and 'annoyed' were two words that were put so often into a sentence with 'Hanji' that it was probably the most commonly reported string of words that did not directly involve attacking titans, and Commander Irvin was so tired of hearing it that the next time he had a scout reporting it to him, he would go and kill the two of them by himself. The last report had been half an hour ago and he had dismissed it with a seething rage equivalent to an erupting volcano underneath a calm (if not slightly weary) exterior. Unfortunately for the unknowing pair, Hanji got into another one of her scrapes with her titan experiments blowing up a good chunk of the castle and her lab, and Levi, as usual, having had to get her out of that mess, had just about thrown up about a dictionary-full of insults and vulgarities at her as he did so and while he tended to her wounds loud enough for anybody within a three mile radius to hear him, including the commander. Six scouts came running to him at once and he finally snapped. The two of them, especially Hanji, just could not retain the peace they should have in such an abandoned castle, not even for a full hour. Dinner had already begun but since Hanji knew no such thing as 'being tired', she rarely took breaks for meals, so neither did Levi, who was tasked with the unfortunate business of taking care of her well-being.

And that resulted in where the pair were now; getting an earful from their commander in the sickbay while Levi cleaned up her wounds, which were nothing to scoff at as the blast had reopened old half-healed wounds and layered on new ones. Levi was surprised that she was still in one piece after all her stupid experiments and the expeditions she had participated in.

"But Irvin-" Hanji was cut off by the commander as he continued rattling on about her recklessness and Levi's vulgarities and the bad examples the pair were setting for the new recruits, not to mention the safety hazards. "It's not Levi's fault, Irvin," she finally got a word in, coupled with a wince as Levi silently placed a cool piece of cloth on one of the numerous burns that dotted her bare back, the back of her shirt having been torn away to deal with her injuries.

Commander Irvin paused and Levi rolled his eyes at the scientist, spreading another layer of antiseptic and burn medicine on an angry looking red patch. "Just shut up, Hanji, and put your fucking head down; I've got to deal with your neck next," he told the scientist who complied and let out a sigh as he wiped away the layer of dirt and grime to reveal more bloody cuts. The commander gave up then; the two were obviously not listening to him (as if they would; he had given them this sermon probably a million times by now, and they obviously never listened).

"Just- never mind," Irvin let out an exasperated huff and left the room, slamming the door behind him, leaving the two in silence for barely even a second before Hanji burst into laughter, boisterous and overly-loud in the small room. Levi's scowl grew as the woman's body shook, making a splatter of medicine hit the otherwise clean white sheets and he resisted the urge to throw the woman off and hand-wash the sheets immediately; the medicine soaked a few layers in and the stain would never come out otherwise. But he resisted, his fingers twitching impatiently as he waited for her to stop.

"I never thought he'd leave," her laugh subsided and he retorted sourly: "I never thought you'd stop laughing." She just grinned at him from where one side of her face was in the pillow. "And everybody knows just how much you love me," her grin grew but the moment he pinched her red, blistering flesh, she yelped and the ghost of a smirk lingered across his face as he leaned back in his chair, declaring that he was done with treating her back.

The comfortable silence stretched as Hanji remained lying on her stomach, lips curved into a smile as she watched him busy himself with taking out more medicine from the cupboard, organizing everything again and scowling at the job the previous medic had done (whoever it was). A draft of cold air whispered across her bare back, which was feeling much better, raising goose bumps across her back and making her shiver. He was at her side in a second, gently lifting her and placing her on her back against the mattress despite the medicine staining the sheets. He cut away whatever was left of her shirt and her bra (it wasn't like he hadn't seen her naked before, having treated her too many times to count, among other things, and she never was bashful about it anyway) and working on her stomach area quickly. It didn't take long before her entire back and stomach was wrapped up in bandages as his hands moved faster, aware of the incoming snowstorm and the biting cold winds it would bring.

Finally, he lifted her from the bed and brought her to her own quarters, and by now it was late into the night with nobody roaming the corridors, but he wrapped her up properly anyway with his coat and kicked open her door, already making a list in his head about what he had to do next; tuck her in, clean up the sheets she had dirtied, rearrange and pack up the medicines he had left lying around in the sickbay, shower, tidy up his own quarters for the fifth and last time that day and sleep.

But as usual, the scientist had to disturb all his plans by tugging him to sleep in her bed with her, and even though she was half-delirious with sleep and, as he touched her forehead, a burning fever, his brows scrunched up in annoyance. He hadn't worked fast enough, he realized, feeling more than a tad of worry as he noticed the storm swirling outside the castle and the rattling windows. "Levi," she implored, voice husky from disuse and he rolled his eyes as he tucked her securely under the blankets. "I'll be back," he promised as his brain screamed at him to get into bed already. He wasn't injured from the blast, since he had gone to talk to one of the newer recruits, and just in those few minutes when she wasn't under his watch- boom. He could swear, that woman was a walking talking radioactive disaster. But still, he was tired, and he had to settle for stripping the dirty sheets off the mattress in the sick bay and leaving them to soak in a bucket of warm water and washing powder for him to wash tomorrow. Hanji was definitely not getting out of bed tomorrow, looking at her fever.

He brought back to the room pills and a cool wet cloth that he wrapped on her forehead as he shook her awake to take the pills with a glass of water. Once she did, he just had enough time to take her now-askew glasses off her face before she pulled on his arm roughly (damn, she still had that much strength left in her?) and he tumbled, rather unceremoniously, headfirst onto the bed.

Grumbling, he sat up and took off his boots and most of his uniform, leaving him in a shirt and shorts before he slid himself under the blankets as well, wrapping his arms around the shivering woman and pulling her close. Her breath and body were feverishly hot against his neck as she burrowed her head into the crook of his neck, much longer bare legs entangling with his as she wrapped her arms around him clumsily. "Why am I even putting up with this?" he wondered aloud and he felt her smile against his neck, her burning lips an unnatural warmth against his skin. She had a fever and it was logical that he left her alone, but the stubborn woman who could never see sense had just made him sleep in the same bed as her, risking him catching the disease as well. And he was STILL putting up with her.

"Because everybody knows how much you love me," she chuckled, and he snorted in annoyance.

"Just go to sleep, shitty glasses. And shut up. You're not getting out of bed tomorrow."

"But I need to check on-"

"Shut up. You're running a fever and you still want to check on your stupid titans?"

"They're not stupid!"

"Glad to see you still have enough energy to argue with me. Now, sleep, or I'll make sure you don't see them for another week by locking you in your room and the only person you'll get to see is me."

"That's mean," she pouted, but relaxed visibly in his arms. "Besides, only seeing you isn't that bad…" she mused and he glared at her while she laughed weakly.

"Sleep." His voice left no room for argument even as he lifted her head and kissed her on the lips properly, silencing her almost instantly. Her eyes drifted shut as he broke it off, only to kiss her again, this time softer, his tongue probing her lips apart. "I shouldn't be doing this with your fever," was the last thing she heard him grumble before her eyes fell fully shut, smiling.

"Don't we all know how much you love me," was her soft, sleepy reply before she finally drifted off.