"Oh my God. The Colonel and…?"
Riza Hawkeye was sitting at her desk, staring unbelievably at her computer screen. She was surfing the internet when a peculiar site caught her eye. The name of the site was It had a large list of anime/manga, and Riza decided to see if Full Metal Alchemist was there. It was. She clicked on it, and a list of fan fiction came up. Not sure what to do, she clicked on the first she saw. She started reading, and was disturbed at what she saw.
Lieutenant Hawkeye was walking swiftly down a narrow corridor. In her hands she carried documents, and was heading towards Colonel Mustangs office. She arrived outside his door and waited a few seconds before knocking on the door.
"Come in" was the answer from inside.
Riza opened the door to see Colonel Roy Mustang sitting at his desk.
"What business do you have with me Lieutenant?" he asked.
"Permission to speak with you privately sir".
"Close the door then"
She obeyed.
"Take a seat" he ordered.
She sat. Her brow was sweaty. Her clammy hands nervously fumbled with a corner of the documents.
"Now, what's this about?" Roy asked.
"Sir. I need to ask you about a certain incident concerning you and Edward Elric that occurred recently"
The Colonel looked at her steadily. His eyes closed and he lent back in his chair as if wondering how to start. His eyes opened, and he began to speak.
"Okay. First, I pinned him down"
Riza nodded.
"Then, I took off his shoes"
Riza gulped.
"I got a saw…."
(A little extreme isn't it? Thought Riza)
"I then sawed off his heels, and ran away" finished the Colonel.
"………………."
"My reason for this is to simply annoy him. At least now he'll be a few inches shorter" he said with a smirk.
"………………"
"Is something wrong Lieutenant Hawkeye?" he asked.
"Colonel Mustang. I am arresting you for sexual child abuse to Edward Elric and lying to one of your Lieutenants. Take him away boys".
At that moment Jean Havoc and Maes Hughes entered Colonel Mustang's office and took him by the arms.
"What the-?"
"Sorry Colonel" said Havoc.
"Never knew you were into that sort of thing sir" Hughes smiled.
"What do you mean! What are you talking about!" shouted a flustered Roy.
"I have legitimate evidence of your….ahem….actions with Edward Elric. I discovered it from a very reliable source" concluded Riza.
"From where!" demanded the Colonel. Due to my findings we find you the culprit of these actions. Edward was probably misled being a young teenager. So he will not be arrested"
"You can't do this!"
"Oh yes we can" said Hughes.
"Come quietly sir" Havoc said.
"NO! Damn sick fan girls!"