Quiet Strengths

I know people who have gone to jail. It don't mean you stop loving them! They deservin' love just as much in there, and maybe they needin' it more. - Alicia Keys

The place was bare in that there was no character, no life. And why should there be? It was a prison. It wasn't meant to look pretty. Still, it was much nicer than some of the places she had seen. But there were still memories that were haunting and brought old fears.

Genevieve looked around as she signed in and checked in the items she wasn't allowed to bring. She swallowed slightly as she noted the bland walls, the guards and most of all... the bars. The whole area gave an uncomfortable shiver down her spine as she could recall a few choice memories from her travels abroad that ended with her in similar places. The difference was that here... it felt different; like there was a chance despite the finality of it all.

She was cleared and given a badge, which she clipped to the cardigan she was wearing. She took a deep breath and walked to where she had been told to go. She almost winced hearing the sound of the buzz and the automatic clinking of gears and metal. She ignored the looks she was getting and moved forward. She could do this.

She had received offers of company from various people. She was grateful for it, especially from JJ and Sarai since they knew her apprehensions and a few other thoughts and feelings. But she declined. It looked irrational but she knew she had to go alone and she wanted to. After all, next to his brother, she knew him better than anyone and she hadn't been uplifted when JJ and Garcia gave the report of their visits to this place. She had to do this alone for both their sakes.

She was used to being in places that gave you the creepy crawlies up your spine but that was by choice. There was a lot she could say about places like that and had the work to show for it. Now... it felt less like a choice and more of necessity. And in reality, it was a little bit of both. She glanced around wondering about the others that were there like her; what they were thinking and feeling. Her artist's mind went to work mentally drawing a picture. It helped as she waited in the seat she had been given, waiting for the one person she had been wanting to see since they came back.

It felt like an eternity, sitting there until they brought him out. Genevieve looked at him as he was accompanied by a guard. She felt her throat convulse as she noted his expression and held back the urge to just jump up and run to him and hug him. She held back knowing that there were rules and regulations for visitation and she was not going to get him in trouble for this. It was irrational but she still believed that because he was a federal agent that they held him here instead of the protective custody. It made her mad and wanting to punch whoever was in charge of the Department of Corrections. Instead, she sat there and waited until he was brought to their table and was relieved that she was allowed to give him a hug at least.

Spencer Reid felt like a mess. Emotionally he was torn in two about having her visit him here at the prison. For pretty much all of their relationship, he had avoided putting her in a position where she would end up seeing the ugliness that he saw on a daily basis. He had ever since she told him about her time abroad and what that entailed. But he couldn't deny her this. He couldn't deny the woman he loved the right to see him and to know that he was somewhat okay. At least what he chose to show her.

He had felt an overwhelming urge to break free of his guard and hug her when he saw her sitting there like she was waiting for the bus or the Metro. He didn't though and let the guard take him there. It was a small comfort just to be allowed to give her a hug in greeting. He took what he could including the brief whiff he got of the cinnamon spice that clung to her before sitting down on his side of the barrier. The thought of it had a pang of despair hit him.

If prison was to be a deprivation of freedom, it did more than that despite the sarcasm and jaded opinions that prisons were like country clubs. The barrier separating them alone was enough to drive the point home that his freedom was on the line. He couldn't even touch her, hold her hand like he wanted to. Instead he swallowed his feelings and looked at her and tried to make it not seem so bad saying, "Hey, Gen."

Genevieve wasn't fooled by Reid's show of bravado. She knew him long enough to know that he would bear his pain silently and trudge on. He was like his practically older brother in that respect. It showed the quiet strength she loved about him but she wasn't fooled. She knew he was pained by this bit she would make the effort. She replied with equal tone, "Hey, Speedy."

Reid gave a slight smile and asked, "Did Garcia put you on her schedule?"

Genevieve smiled gently, "No. I'm not included in the stipulation since I am not an agent. And surprisingly your attorney made a case for Mike."

Reid snorted slightly at that. He looked at his hands on the table before looking back up at her. "You know Mike," he choked, trying to keep it lighthearted. "He manages to find something. I guess the law degree paid off."

"I guess so," Genevieve quietly agreed. She twiddled her fingers on the table. She knew that they were listening so she was trying to be circumspect in how she spoke to him. Call it paranoia but she had the feeling that things were not exactly right here. "I was given another pat on the back for my courses. Looks like I'm still tenured."

"They'd be stupid to fire you, Gen," Reid replied, meaning every word.

"My sweet genius."

"Nosy profiler."

They both shared a slight chuckle at the joke they shared. It lessened the tension a little and allowed Genevieve to give Reid a report on everything going on at home. "I... got another commission. Painting for some girl's sweet sixteen. The pay is good but..."

"You have to travel," Reid finished in a quiet tone.

"Only to Arlington," Genevieve paused at the slight face Reid made. Of course, he would remember that time. "It's not the gallery. Navy captain. It will mean long days in the coming days. But I don't want to be too far away from your mother."

"You have the nurse's number and she checks in with you," Reid pointed out. He saw that she was willing to give up the commission if only to be close enough to keep an eye on his mother. He couldn't let her do that though. "You shouldn't give it up."

"Your mother's important, Spence. And it's not like we need the money."

"Gen," Reid spoke firmly in his quiet tones. "Don't give up what you do best for me." He paused as he watched her shift her hands. She had raised them to rest her elbows on the table. It allowed him to see the one thing that had him burst with pride but at the same time saddened him because he couldn't have his. He continued, "Don't do that. I can't be the reason you gave up something."

"There are exceptions..."

"Gen..." Reid straightened up and paused when he realized he almost shouted. He swallowed slightly to make sure that the guards weren't going to cut off this visit before continuing, "I can't let you do that because... because I don't think I could stand knowing that you didn't have what keeps you alive, what makes you beautiful is not there for you, making you every bit the woman I love." He paused again and aware his eyes were watering. "Please... don't decline the commission."

"But I want to see you."

Reid knew that she wanted to. He didn't because this place could easily snuff her light out. He knew she was tougher than that but he didn't like putting her in situations like that if he didn't have to. He admitted, "I know and I want to see you but... not here."

"Are you saying you don't want me on the list?"

"No," Reid replied shaking his head. "This place... it's like what you said about chasing nightmares, Gen. I remember what you told me and occasionally you've had a nightmare. I just..."

Genevieve had been on the verge of giving her piece of mind talk to Reid like she did when he worded something that implied she was weak. The first time she almost shouted at him until he attempted to explain. It came out awkward and probably would have been made worse had it been anyone else listening. She knew he never saw her weak or delicate in that context. He saw her as a beautiful thing to be cherished and protected and he had good reason to think that after Arlington and the couple of times she scared him from her anemia and hypoglycemia. Seeing him look at her now, she realized he was just voicing that prison wasn't a nice place for someone like her. She closed her mouth and thought about it for a moment and said, "But... your mother."

"The nurse checks in with you as agreed and JJ has been checking in on her too," Reid pointed out. He was desperate to keep her way from there but not banning her completely. He knew that he wouldn't be able to stand it if he couldn't see her. "Gen... take it. You have your own schedule. I know you will make time to come here."

"So, you do want me to come." She had stated it like a fact rather than a question.

"Gen... I want to see you. I can't stand the thought of not seeing you, but I don't want you to stop living because of this. It's not you."

"I'm not stopping living, Speedy. Just..." Genevieve paused and took a good look at Reid.

Reid looked back at her. He knew she didn't have to work as long and hard as she used to. She had steady employment but her chief passion was in the paintings she created and sold as well as the occasional photo op. He stared at her silently, conveying his meaning.

Genevieve held his gaze as he stared at her. She knew what he meant and while she didn't totally agree with it, she was willing to do it for him. She nodded, "Okay. I won't give it up."

"Good," Reid replied with a slight smile and a nod.

"I will still come down here."

"I know."

"And I will bore you with details of my model and client."

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

Genevieve looked at Reid. He was giving her that smile he would give when she was laying down her conditions. Those times he was merely humoring her but he never disregarded a word she said. He may disagree with her and she with him but they never belittle each other. This was merely one of their things as a couple and it was heartwarming but she could see the weight of everything in his face, mostly his eyes. This conversation was like a life line for him and she would gladly be that. She kept a lighthearted tone as she replied, "Good. Because you're never getting rid of me, Speedy."

Reid looked at Genevieve as he saw that determined look get into her eye. It was the same one when she was faced with a challenge whether it was at home or work. It was the look that said she wasn't giving up and neither should he. As if to make it clear, her hands shifted so he could see it. She held it so he could get a good view of it.

It was the ring he had painstakingly searched for when he went through with it and married her. He had chosen it with her in mind and once he put it on, she never took it off unless she was bathing. She wore it with pride just as he wore his. Seeing her holding it in his view and twisting it in that nervous twitch she sometimes did, he was reassured. He didn't like the prospect that he faced, which was the potential to be imprisoned for life but he was reassured that she loved him and was there for him even when she physically wasn't.

Looking at her, he couldn't help but smile. "And you'll never get rid of me either, Gen. You're the best."

"Of course. I married a genius."

Reid chuckled gently. It allowed him to finish the visit on a high note. Just before he was to leave, he asked, "Anything else?"

Genevieve hesitated slightly but Reid assumed she was thinking about it. She lowered her hands as she adjusted her position and replied, "Nothing except grading papers. Henry helps."

Reid couldn't help but smile at that knowing she was joking. He nodded, feeling better than he had since he had been sent here. "I love you, Gen."

"I love you too, Speedy."

Genevieve watched as Reid was led back to his cell. It was hard but she could tell that he was feeling better about being there. She couldn't stand that he was here and being accused of murder. She didn't believe it and she knew the team didn't; they were doing what they could to get him out. He just had to survive and that was what worried her.

Standing up, she straightened her cardigan. Her hand paused on her abdomen as she smoothed it out. She had just reached the milestone and the doctor said that everything was looking good. She was happy and she wanted badly to tell Reid but what she saw on his face... as much joy it would bring him, it would aso put him in despair. She needed him to stay focused and survive. She turned and headed back towards the office to collect her things.

As she left the prison, she couldn't help but turn back and look. She wished that this hadn't happened but it did and she couldn't change things. It was hard having Reid, her husband, in prison for a crime that she firmly believed he didn't commit and she knew that his life was in danger if the prison population learned he was a federal agent. As she thought about that, she placed her hand protectively on her abdomen and could feel the slight bulge that could be mistaken for fat. As much as she wanted him to know... it was better that he didn't for the time being. He needed very bit of who he was to stay who he was while surviving that place. When it was over, then she would tell him.

Having a baby is one of the most wonderful things in your life, as well as the hardest thing in your life. - Nuno Bettencourt

A/N: Gen visits Reid in prison and gives him some comfort and hope but she keeps her biggest secret to herself for the time being but for good reason. Enjoy.