Where is she?
The cold winter air blowing gently through the slightly open window; makes goose bumps rise along my arms. I quickly get up and shut the window, preventing the cold from coming in. Then I throw myself back on the bed.
The room is silent except for the steady hum of the dryer coming from the hall.
I try warming myself by piling the blankets on top of me, but it's no use. The damn cold still creeps in.
The blankets and the heater, they don't provide the warmth I want anyway, the warmth of her small body pressed up against mine. That's why I want her here, but where is she?
I lie on our bed staring at the fresh snowflakes piling on the window. The weather man was wrong: itis cold enough to snow. I hope it's strong enough to start a blizzard so I don't have to go to work tomorrow.
The sound of the dryer has stopped. I listen to the rustling of our clothes as she takes them out. After a few minutes she finally walks in.
I can't help the smile spreading on my face at the sight of her. She has pulled her soft brown curls into a ponytail, and she is wearing my favorite of her nightgowns; the royal blue one that's covered with snowflakes of all shapes and sizes. I love that one because it shows me more of her skin than the usual outfits she wears.
"Hey, Ally." I say with my smile still plastered on my face.
"Hey." She replies sadly. Without bothering to look at me she sits down on the edge of the bed and begins to fold the clothes from the laundry basket.
"What's wrong?" I ask leaning closer to her. "Nothing." She says simply, folding one of my shirts.
"Ally, something is wrong. Tell me." I put my hand on her shoulder, willing her to tell me what it is that's got her upset.
She stops in my middle of folding one of her dresses, and sighs. Then she turns and stares at the pile of clothes beside her. "It's just…" She starts, playing with the clothes. "I was thinking how nice it would be to have a baby." She looks up at me while saying that last word.
Oh, great. Not this again. I almost regret asking her anything.
"Ally." I say firmly, leaning away from her. "We've talked about this."
"I know." She says quietly. "I was just thinking how quiet it always is around here. When I get home from work it's always clean and quiet just like I left it, and once, just one time, I want to come home and hear the TV at full blast and kids, our kids, chasing each other and a big mess all over the house." She smiles as if envisioning this scene in her mind.
"Ally, if you want I can come home early and make a mess for you." I tell her, fiddling with one of the blankets.
She laughs softly, while bending over to get another shirt. "I don't want you to make messes, Austin. I want mini versions of you to make messes."
We're silent for a few minutes. She continues to smile, while I think about the situation at hand.
Finally I ask, "Why the sudden interest in having kids?"
"It's not a sudden interest. We've been talking about this for the two years we've been married." She replies while getting up to put our clothes away.
It's true. Ever since Ally's cousin asked her to babysit her five month old baby, Ally has been asking me to impregnate her so we can have a baby of our own. But I don't want one. I've never wanted children and she knows it. Babies are noisy and smelly and need lots of care and attention, which we can't give since both of us work. Besides making a baby is lots of fun, but actually having the baby is extremely painful.
I don't want to see Ally go through nine months of discomfort. I don't want to see her suffer from lots of pain, because of a small embryo growing inside of her. I know some people who lost a mom or a sister or a cousin due to childbirth and that is not a way I want to lose Ally. Luckily, the only way to prevent all of this is by not giving her a baby in the first place. I have no idea why being a mother appeals to her.
Ally, now finished with our laundry, climbs into bed with me.
"Well." I say while she burrows under the blankets. "I think we should wait a little longer." I say this same thing every time we talk about this.
She sighs, already knowing I would say this. "How much longer?" She asks, just like every other time.
"Just… a little longer." I tell her. She smiles. "Okay when you're ready." She says, leaning over to kiss my forehead. Then she turns over.
Oh Ally, I think, wrapping my arm around her waist, pulling her closer. If only you could see that I'll never be ready to be a father.
Hey everyone! So this is a new story of mine that is going to have 8 or so chapters so if you liked this one (I'm praying you did) please stick around for the rest of the story that I think is unique. I don't think I've seen a story where either Austin or Ally doesn't want children so I thought I'd give it a shot. Anyway please review and check out my other stories: Footsteps, Welcome Home, and Salesman. Thanks for reading and have a good day!