Alright, new series. I wanted to delve deep into my fanfic-writing past, and remembered a time in my Wattpad days when I took a CinemaSins approach to reading fanfictions. So, by permission from my buddy theawesomess1, I'm sinning his story Ignis Regem: Ignition. Shoutout to him for being a good fanfic writer :P
(Also an FYI, the story's in regular text, my sins are in bold text. also the character's thinking is in italics instead of awesomess's apostrophes)
It was raining on this late November afternoon/early evening as I run from my friend's house to home. Alright, I said to him I wouldn't point out grammar mistakes, but I just can't help it. YOUR FRIEND'S HOUSE TO HOME. You coulda just put "my friend's house to my house." Way more simple. And the afternoon/early evening thing, kinda specific. *double ding*
The date is Wednesday, November first, twenty twenty two. Just put the dang numbers there! *ding*
I raised my dark backpack over my head, and that helped a little. "So what if I sacrifice my Algebra II homework? I would rather not catch the flu!" Minus one sin because HOLY TAMAGOTCHI, that describes my lifestyle waaaaay too much. *reverse ding*
I pulled out my key, on the front porch shielded from rain. Grammar. Not saying where. *ding*
It was three stories tall THREE STORIES. Heck, I've only lived in a two-story, the biggest room of my life was in a TWO STORY APARTMENT, and yet there's a three story house? No sin, but just... Wow., the first floor being the kitchen, living, and dining rooms, with an office (that was rarely used), the second and third being the bedrooms. Still no sin, but no kidding, I want a house like this for when I try doing YouTube.
The house was a 5 bed, 6 bath house, styled after the colonial times. The colonial times. And it's 2022. If it's the colonial times that that would be back in the 19-freakin-90s. *ding*
Wood walls, wood floors, wood doors, wood ceilings. Wood you please stop describing what all is wood? *ding*
I almost made it to the (you guessed it) wooden stairs, when a booming voice called out through the house, making the very foundation shake. And that voice was me, telling him to STOP DESCRIBING HOW MANY THINGS ARE WOOD. *ding*
"STEPHEN NATHUS, GET IN HERE NOW!" I can hear sWooZie's yelling female voice saying that. Is that bad? *ding*
Her family left her with a large inheritance, many millions of dollars, and she married my father, who is living off of money his family left for him, another many millions of dollars, and stock investments. Two sins for this one. The first: here comes the MONEHHHHH... hERe cOmeS tHe mOnEH. (10 points if you get the reference.) The second: I'm guessing. They use that money. To buy HOUSES. MADE OF WOOD. *double ding*
"Algebra II, 89. Chemistry, 87. English II, 88. Japanese, 100. AP World History, 85. AP Computer Science, 90. Animation, 92." Note I know theawesomess1 IRL from school, he did take those classes (except for Japanese). This is also technically my grade book right now, to be fair (except for those stupid lab reports in chemistry bringing me to a 40...) Sin for being both too relatable and too accurate. *ding*
"Explain now!" Geez, just as bossy as my mom. *ding*
My family wanted me to be perfect. To make perfect grades, have perfect manners, look perfect, and none of that has even become close to achieved. Yeah, because unlike their logic, they think their son can be perfect. Also by their logic, they can live in HOUSES MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF WOOD. New rule: two sins every time I have to say something about wooden houses. *double ding*
"I have been focusing on other things right now." Switched the sentence from past tense to present tense mid sentence. How does that even work? *ding*
"And what in the name of all things holy have you been focusing on?" Finding a house to live in that's not made entirely out of wood? *double ding*
"Public relations." Too broad, how could she know what you we-
"So... Your social life..." My god, how does she even know what you're even talking about? *ding*
"And why is this more important than your studies?" "And why in the hell is your hair a different color?" And why in the hell are you asking so many questions? Another new rule: three sins every time the mom asks a question. Awesomess told me we only see her for this chapter and the next, so let's see how many sins we rack up from both this rule and the wooden house rule. Wooden House Sin Count 1, Mom Question Sin Count 1. *ding ding ding pizza's here*
"I... I like it better this way." Of course you do, Nathus, of course you do. Legit, I'm calling him Nathus from now on. *ding*
"What are you going to do next? Wear colored contact lenses?" "And why is your Japanese score higher than your English score?" Mom Question Sin Count: 4 *nonuple ding* Plus an extra sin for knowing that the contact lenses thing would be what both I and Awesomess would do. *ding*
This brings me to what I actually wanna talk about! I thought. I opened my mouth, but at that moment, the front door opened, and slam shut. It's me, come to criticize Nathus's mom on her choice of house. Don't use one with wood. Wood House Sin Count: 2. *double ding*
My father came into the room. "Hello, family!" Two sins. 1: Hello, family member of the newly made Nathus clan. *ding* 2: Who in the heck says "Hello, family?" *ding*
He led me to the kitchen, where he took off his jacket and lay it over a wooden chair by the bar countertop. Wood House Sin Count: 3. *double ding*
"How do I put this?" he started in his gruff baritone voice, scratching at the dark brown stubble at the bottom of his chin. "Your mother may be strict, but she just wants what is best for you. Ever since you were little, we saw you have a keen intellect. You've proven that by skipping a few grades!" unneeded descriptive sentence that doesn't count as part of the sin, noting this isn't a sin either, here "Only thirteen, and a sophomore in high school!" another non-sin unneeded sentence "She just knows that if you wanted to, you could already be halfway through a university by now!" Wish I was that smart. *ding*
"But I want to be a game designer! I want to go to Japan and work with Sony!" Then go to a game dev university! Every heard of Full Sail University? Go there! *ding*
"And I know that, and I support you." I call a twist coming up. No sin.
"She doesn't! She wants me to stay in America, go to Harvard, and be a fucking lawyer!" Watch yo profanity, boi! And there's the twist. *ding*
"By the way, how come you're making a perfect score in Japanese?" Because it's proposal time. *ding*
Finally, time to make my proposal! "I think Mom should be in here for this."
He nodded and called out "Hey, Martha! We're in the kitchen! I think you should be in here!" No wonder she's so bossy. Her name's Martha. Just about every Martha I know is bossy. Runs in the name, I guess. *ding*
"I've been chosen for the foreign exchange program. Great chance for me to study in another country." Knowing the basic plot line of SAO, that ain't happenin'. *ding*
"What country?" My mother cut in. Mom Question Sin Count: 5. *triple ding*
"Japan." Because convenience. And a chance to get out of a house made entirely out of wood. Wood House Sin Count: 4. *double ding*
"When is she leaving, by the way?" Mom Question Sin Count: 6. I'm just gonna call it the MQ Sin Count now. *triple ding*
"Friday, in two days." Yeah, because you didn't already tell us it was a Wednesday already. *flashback to second sin, then a ding*
"Hmmm... And when do you leave?" MQ Sin Count: 7. *triple ding*
"Same day..." I said slowly, not liking where this is going. *plays JonTron saying "I don't like where this is going"* *ding*
"And what family is taking you in?" MQ Sin Count: 8. *triple ding*
"Hers." Because, yet again, convenience. *ding*
"Hmmm..." She squinted, already against it. Jesus Christ, that's quick. *ding*
"Well, would you look at the time? It's already nine! Time for bed, son!" How'd it go from afternoon/early evening to 9:00 PM that fast?! Awesomess, I know you BS things in your story sometimes, but you just BS'd this part without even knowing it! *ding*
He came over and hugged me, whispering to me "Don't worry, son. I'll butter her up." He's just like my dad. My mom and stepdad won't let me have stuff that isn't normally breakfast for breakfast? I go to my dad's, he lets me have pizza rolls for breakfast and Ben & Jerry's for lunch! Sin because relatable. *ding*
No sin, but I'm skipping a few paragraphs because all it does is describe Nathus's nightly routine. Also note I forgot to mention Natsuki, a friend of Nathus. Cause apparently SHE'S who Nathus is staying with (and the girl the parents mentioned).
I walked over to the (mahogany, Wood House Sin Count: 5. *double ding*) desk, and booted up the PC on top of it. After it started, I opened Skype, and sent Natsuki a PM. First off, Skype. This chapter must've been made before May 2015, because if you're using Skype now, shame on you. Discord is 10 times better. *ding* Secondly, if it's Skype, it's DM, not PM. *ding*
"Hey, you up?" After sending the message, I made sure my webcam was hooked up right. You just gotta be presentable in case these things happen. This is why I question people sleeping naked in their rooms. And I have no idea why I related to that. *ding*
"Hai" was her response. Just FYI, that translates to yes. Unlike you, I know my Japanese. *ding*
She continued in Japanese. "Want to talk?" And unlike people that know Japanese, I have no idea what that translates to. *ding* So since I have almost unlimited word space here, I'll go ahead and use Google Translate to translate it just for the fun of it. Bold + underline = translation. And I'd be using Romanji, not kanji, btw. So this would translate to "Hanashitai?"
"Hai" I replied in her native language. I looked at the intercom above my PC, and saw it was turned off. It was turned off so my parents could call me from anywhere in the house. Noting the door's soundproof, but they could literally just KNOCK ON THE DOOR, NAGDABBIT. *ding*
I opened my door and pulled out my headphones, plugging them in on the side audio jack, and she called on Skype. I answered. Her picture came online, and we waved to each other. I pulled the microphone down from the headset I was wearing. Headphones and headsets are different things, fam. Get it right. *ding*
"Sup?" she said, a similar set on her head. I'm laughing. THIS LEGIT TRANSLATES TO SUGGOI. Then I switch it back, and it translates to "Is not it amazing". Google translate, you make me laugh. Minus one sin for hilarious google translate. *reverse ding*
"Nothing, you?" Nanimonai, anata? I repeatedly translated this and it ends off with a loop saying "Nothing?" Good job, translation software. You contradict your own things. *ding*
"Nothing, except Algebra is kicking my ass!" Daisū ga watashi no o shiri o kette iru igai, nani mo arimasen! And FYI, none of the translations count as a sin, so this doesn't count.
"Ha," I teased, knowing she knew I'm basically a math god. *insert Shrek saying "Oh, really? You and what army?"* *ding*
And for the next 15 minutes, she would give me a math problem, and I'd solve it in my head, helping to walk her through it without giving her the answer. Literally just what my mom does. *ding*
"Damn! How are you so good at this?"
"Easy! I just ask her the lesson plan and do it the night before." Nathus, you are a genius. Can I take that idea? *ding*
Ever since she arrived early this summer, we immediately got along. I was wicked smart, could solve any problem in my head, and was bullied for it. If you can solve any problem in your head, then why are you getting bullied? Two ways you can fix that, dude. Either be friends with the bullies, or bully the bullies. There's you a fixed problem you could never solve. *ding*
She was the noob, and she was bullied for that, and everyone thought that because she was Asian, she would be good at all of this. My god. Too many people base themselves on stereotypes. *ding*
The reality was very close to the truth. If she paid attention in class, she would make perfect scores on anything. Also noting that she's technically a foreign exchange student. Legit, I don't know foreign exchange students that got perfect grades on everything. Then again, I don't know any foreign exchange student to begin with. Whatever, sin anyway. *ding*
"So, wanna play something?" She asked. *insert JonTron saying "no no no, no no, nono no no no no no"* *ding*
"Sure, what do you got in mind?" *insert JonTron saying "You don't know what you're doing, kid..."* *ding*
"Yu-Gi-Oh, of course!" *insert JonTron yelling "STOP"* *ding*
No sin, but at this point I ignored the translation thing.
I smiled at her as I pulled out a flash drive and plugged it into the PC. Noting that Nathus is tech genius as well, why didn't he build a computer for himself? If you do that you can get almost infinite storage. You wouldn't need a flash drive to begin with. *ding*
"Hey, gotta go. I at least sleep, unlike a certain pink haired friend I know..." Here's your deal with it glasses, fake blunt, thug life music, fire backdrop, and sound effect of guys yelling. That'll be 85 dollars. *cha-ding*
I then pulled out what looked like a military grade earwig from the beginning of the century. The 2000s are old. Get 2010 materials, fam. *ding*
Not saying the line, but counting a sin here because he talked about one crucial object... INTRODUCED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. BOI. *ding*
TOTAL SIN COUNT: 84
SENTENCE: WOODEN HOUSE