I'm Sorry
If love is a hex, then I am hexed. I'm here in my room. I grab my alarm clock to turn it around.
12:00 midnight, displayed in blue numbers. The number one appears, as another minute passes.
I make a sound like horse as I flutter my lips and run my fingers through my greasy hair. I hadn't taken a shower tonight. I was to busy catching up on my homework that I had gotten behind on, due to the fact I've mostly been swinging a sword around all this time. That and I can't stop thinking about her.
The sound of the door clicking lightly open draws my attention away from my thoughts. I sit up quickly, completely and totally awake now. That person standing before my door, for a moment I thought I might actually be dreaming.
"Rukia?" I say the surprise evident in my voice.
She holds a finger to her lips, and says nothing as she turns to shut the door gently. She's wearing civilian clothes, a baby blue cotton dress. She turns to look at me.
"Rukia what are you doing here?" I ask.
She takes a deep breath looking away slightly, and then back again her azure eyes focused on me with seriousness.
"I'm sorry." she says biting her bottom lip and looking at me like she wanted to die.
I just sit here on my bed, speechless.
"I never got to actually say those words." she finishes looking at me expecting something.
"Rukia, you don't have to apologize." I assure.
She scowls at me.
"Don't tell me what I don't need to do!" she yells in a whisper. I realize that it must of taken a lot for her to come here, and I just said it was all pointless. I feel like I am at a little disadvantage laying down like this
So, I toss my legs over my bed and stand. I walk over to her and a little closer, only a couple of feet between us. My heart beats faster and I just can't stop looking into her eyes. I'm about to say what I had meant to say myself, in Soul Society before Yoruichi interrupted. When a breeze blows her hair and mine, we both turn to the window where the one and only live teddy bear stands on its sill.
"You really should get a doggy door for me or something, Ichi—" he stops breathing in (if that were possible for the stuffed creature)
"Nee-san!" he runs forward and latches onto Rukias' leg. She angrily shakes him of her, and I grab him by the neck.
"Get lost idiot!" I shout as I throw him out the window.
"What are you doing? I ask as I turn and see her starting towards my rooms door.
"I'm going to go Ichigo." she says getting nervous for some reason.
I scramble with my tired body and manage to grab her, and immediately wished to die.
I had been reaching for her shoulder and had done something I hadn't intended.
Rukia looks over her shoulder at me a look of pure shock turning to embarrassment, then shear anger. Not even by Tatsuki, have I been so quickly flipped onto my back.
"Ichigo! You idiot! I'll--" she grabs my arms and wrestles me onto stomach.
"I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" I cry out trying to stop her. "Rukia!" I yell wriggling my arms.
We both stopped when we heard the click of a switch, and we had to blink our eyes as the light burned our retinas.
"Ah, adolescents. Huh?" I heard my father say. I narrowed my eyes in annoyance. Rukias grip had loosened so I rolled up on my butt then standing up I dusted myself noting to sweep my floor later.
Well, I must look pretty guilty because my dad has the widest smile I have ever seen.
"The situation isn't as you think Mr. Kurosaki!" Rukia said shaking her hands before her and turning to me.
"Ichigo! Explain!"
"Why do I have to explain!" I say plainly.
"You're the one who tried to undress me!" she shouts pointing a finger right in my shocked face. For the moment I couldn't respond. My face had turned completely red, I'm sure. I can feel the heat. From my face, and Rukias focus.
"Brother did what?" Yuzu says coming from behind my father rubbing her sleepy eyes.
"I did not! All I saw was a little!" I shout back sending her a glare. She pinches her face up in irritation at me, and looks back at my father.
"So it's true!" All of us turn our heads to a slight disgruntled Kon standing there with a sinister sparkle in his eye.
"You shall pay for touching nee-san!" he screams jumping at me. I narrow my eyes in annoyance and punch him in the face and follow up with a round house kick sending him back out the window. I feel slightly liberated.
"Don't worry. Nothing was going on here, Mr. Kurosaki." she clarifies giving her model smile. I nod my head in agreement.
"Nothing at all." I say with her. "Absolutely nothing," I repeat uncrossing my arms to slice my hand through the air to clarify how much nothing had happened.
"Nothing--" I start but am interrupted.
"Okay, Ichigo." Rukia says flatly. "We get it." she adds.
"Heh. Yeah." I respond scratching the back of my head nervously.
My fathers eye glints, and he growls.
"Is that a hicky on her neck son!" he points imperialistically to the what I see is where Rukia had grabbed my neck—a red mark.
"Ah! No that's were Rukia had me--"
"Ichigo! Say it more clearly!" Rukia shouts at me.
"Let me finish!" I say angrily holding my fist up at her.
"Do we need to have the talk Ichigo?" my father asks smiling if that were possible, wider.
I did a double take. This just got worse. I smack my face with my hand hoping I had fallen to sleep, and this was a nightmare. No such luck.
"No! I already had sex-ed in school!" I shout. "It would be to weird coming from you!" I shout.
Rukia, I noticed had begun to slip out the window. I went to grab her, she glares at me so strongly that I thought I would burn to a crisp. I put my hand down and just glare at her instead.
"Where are you going?" I say quite frankly annoyed by her bailing on me.
"Why would I stay?" she says looking at me boredly.
"This is partly your fault, Rukia." I say strongly looking at her trying to impose my will on here.
She twitches a little.
"What's a hicky?" Yuzu asks making us all turn to her. She points to her neck "Do I have one?" she asks.
Rukia and I look at each other, then turn to her.
"Go to bed!" We say together.
"Okay..." she says tiredly rubbing her eyes cutely, leaving us.
My father is examining my neck so closely I can feel his breath.
"Get off dad!" I shout getting to my breaking point. I get behind him and shove him out the door. Slamming the door and locking it.
I turn around and Rukia is gone.
I just couldn't let it go and for some reason my heart screams to run after her.
I do.
I run and jump out the window. I stepped on something soft I looked down and saw Kon looking up at me.
"You too, Ichigo?" he chokes and feigns passing out. I grab him.
"Which way?" I say.
He points to the north I nod, and toss him running quickly in that direction.
I see her and she hears me, looking over her shoulder—and increases her pace.
"Hey!" I shout.
She's just barely out of my reach--not that I would dare to grab her anyway.
"Stop for a minute Rukia!" I breath.
We keep running until we hit the park, a section with a lot of trees. She stops in the center of a bunch of trees breathing hard, bent over holding her knees. I'm right behind her and when I see she isn't going to keep running I stop too—or try to.
My toe hits a rock and fall forward right towards her. My eyes are wide I collide with her. Her body so much smaller in comparison to my own--doesn't stand a chance.
I just lay there on her soft back, breathing hard the smell of her hair right in my face, invading my nose.
Our breaths just mingle for a moment.
I'm trying not to think right now. This is probably the most horrible good moment of my life.
Long breath from Rukia.
"Get." long breath "Off."
I'm taken out of my haze, by her death threat laced words.
I roll off her quickly, still breathing hard. I watch her with my eyes cautiously.
She's not looking at me.
"You." she says sitting up on on knees.
She looks at me, turns to me in the moonlight.
"Got my dress dirty!" she shouts. I notice that her dress is covered in mud blotches. For some reason I start laughing. She just watches me as I lay there unable to breath, tears coming from my eyes.
"Ichigo? What's wrong with you?" she asks obviously non-plussed.
I sit up on my knees as I look at her, she's still holding her dress out her eyes wide with innocence. I wipe a tear of mirth from my eyes.
"I love you." I say before I can think enough to stop myself. My laughter stops and she looks less innocent, and more shocked.
She hugs herself a breeze comes around blowing her black hair in front of her face. I feel so bare.
Like I just took all my clothes off.
Say something I'm thinking. Just please say something, right now.
"Ichigo..." she trails off.
I close my eyes in pain. Say something more. I plead inwardly.
"I'm sorry." she says looking back at me with tears.
Not that! I think. I don't want this.
I clench my teeth and close my eyes for a long time, until I feel something soft on my cheek. I open my eyes in a flash, and see her before me. A look on her face that looks so loving and pained all at once.
"I'm sorry...I feel the same way." she says quietly so I barely hear it. She puts her fingers in my hair and I lean forward to her. She kisses me softly on the lips. "We can't." she says her hand falling and her face looking away from mine.
I take her chin in my hands and bring her to me. I kiss her.
Oh, I kiss her. I hold her and for a moment I don't think of anything but the kiss we share. My first kiss. Second if you want to get technical.
She stares up at my face.
"Ichigo...you know--" she starts. I hold a finger to her lips.
"I know." I say furrowing my brows in annoyance. Without a word she stands up and her warmth leaves me. She doesn't look back, and I understand why—but I plead with her to look at me anyways.
When she leaves...
I do not move. I just sit here and look up. How can I feel so happy and so miserable at once. I can still smell her on me.
"I'm sorry." I whisper falling back onto the grass to just stare at the moon.
Maybe, I should go see her, to apologize?
A/N So...I was just feeling like I needed to FINISH something and Kakashi Kun and Trust Pending are taking forever to write. I'm...sorry?