Okay guys this is my first fanfic ever so please be gentle! I'm really into the whole femshep and Garrus situation so I'll just see where this story takes me. Garrus has passed during the ending of ME3 and this is how femshep deals with it.

Without her Angel

Garrus/ femshep

Romance/hurt/comfort

Rated M (for smut )

Chapter 1

Sierra Shepard tossed back in forth in her bed. Her long red hair strewn across her tear stained face. Garrus…. Garrus….. Why can't I stop thinking about you…. She was mad, sad and torn up over the loss of her lover and best friend. When she was found in the rubble after she saved everyone from the reapers the first thing she had asked the man that found her was about Garrus. They told her exactly what she didn't want to hear. He had died. When she went up into the catalyst apparently he tried desperately to get to her and he wasn't paying attention and got taken down by a husk. It just didn't make sense to her that the sharpest sniper and best turian she knew would get taken down from not being careful enough but she knew the truth. He was worried about her and it cost him his life.

She had ended up with her crew on the Normandy on some strange beautiful planet with two moons. Nobody knew where they were and when they were leaving but there was hope. But for Sierra all hope died when Garrus had died. She continued waking up tossing and turning when she heard a knock at her door.

"Come in" she said

Kaiden stepped inside looking concerned. He took in the commander's appearance. Messy sexy red hair, lil white tank top and her sleeping black pants. "Shep you need to get out of bed. I know you're upset but we all miss you and could really use our commander back" Kaiden sat down on the bed and touched her shoulder trying to comfort her. Sierra couldn't help but remember Garrus's hand on her shoulder when she had woken up from a bad dream.

She kissed his mandible and he groaned while running three talons through her long red hair. She felt like she was floating on a cloud of happiness. She tugged at his pants in an urgent manner. He unsnapped her bra and started massaging her breasts careful not to let his talons cut her rosy pink nipples. Sierra grabbed his fringe in an urgent manner and that seemed to make Garrus lose control. He quickly was on top of her and removing her black panties. "Shep are you sure…. I know your upset and I don't want to….. ehhh you know just ignore your feelings for my desires." Garrus mumbled while stroking her pussy teasing it very softly with his talons.

She heard a low growl from within his chest and suddenly she gasped in pain. He had entered her in a quick fashion. Garrus couldn't help himself. He silently cursed himself for being so rough with her but then he heard her moans start and he picked up the pace. Sierra was so close, she was sure this was…

"Shep… Sierra hello are you listening?" Kaiden huffed. He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and rested his hand under her chin urging her eyes to focus on him.

"Sorry yah I'm here." A shiver ran up her back as Kaiden moved a hand to her knee and squeezed it in a comforting manner. She just wanted to be with Garrus again. It had been 2 months since they landed on the unknown planet and she had been numb the entire time.

"Shep come and eat with us. Tali, Liara, Joker, EDI, were all going to eat outside. It's a beautiful day and you've hardly left the ship in days this week." Kaiden loved Sierra. He always regretted the things he said to her on Horizon and then when they finally were back on good terms he was shocked to find she was in a serious relationship with Garrus of all people. Well that was the thing that bothered him the most Garrus wasn't a person he was a Turian, an alien. He wished that Sierra would come out of this haze eventually and they could rekindle there old flame.

"No I'm sorry I just I don't feel like it. How's the repairs and everything going. Any communication yet from the Alliance." She tried to change the topic quickly. Then Kaiden did something that shocked both of them. He leaned forward and Kissed Sierra on the lips.

"Sorry…." He said "you just look so sad and I wish there was a way I could take your pain away. I know you loved Ga…" And Sierra leaned back in to cut him off from saying her lost lovers name and kissed him back and hard. For a small second she remembered Garrus and imagined it was he she was kissing even if Kaiden was way too soft to be Garrus.

Kaidens heart almost jumped out of his chest. Was Sierra giving him another chance? He knew that wasn't the answer when he opened his eyes too look at her own eyes were clamped shut. She wanted to feel again. He couldn't help but wonder if she was imagining her alien lover right now.

"Kaiden please make me feel loved" she slid her tank top over her head reveling her white sports bra. She pushed herself so that she was so close to Kaiden that she was almost in his lap.

"Shep…. I mean Sierra I'm not him I'm not going to take advantage of you because you miss him." He said it as nicely as he could but he couldn't help but be a little angry. He wanted Sierra more than anything but not like this.

"Please Kaiden…I…I just want to feel again." Kaiden couldn't help the temptation. He flung his clothes off almost like they were on fire he grabbed Sierra and flung her back down on the bed and put himself on top of her. She slipped her pants off and he removed her bra. His hands were everywhere. She let out a soft moan and grabbed at his length. She remembered when she had first been with Kaiden she though he was big but then Garrus had changed her mind of what big meant. Kaidens lounge found its way into Sierras mouth and Sierra tried her best to return the kiss. When His hands started playing with her womanhood she couldn't help but tune out and go back into her memories.

The blue predator eyes stalking her while she walked out of the shower. Nothing but a towel wrapped around her pale skin. Garrus approached slowly and smoothly and gathered her into his arms. He made quick work of unwrapping his present from the towel while Sierra nibbled on his chin. Leaving little kisses all over him. Garrus went down between her legs and darted his long blue lounge in and out of her wet pussy. Sierra screamed as orgasm after orgasm washed over her. Garrus growled and quickly was back on top of her putting his huge member up against her throbbing wet core.

"Sierra I know it's been awhile since we've been together. I'm going to go slow because I remember how much it hurt the first time. Please just tell me if I'm hurting you this time instead of being the stubborn woman I love" Sierra nodded her head and waited for the pain as he entered. But no pain came instead just hot pleasure.

Kaiden was in heaven. Their bodies seemed to flow together perfectly and as he gave Sierra orgasm after orgasm she seemed to be enjoying it since she was being much louder than he had ever heard her before. He was climaxing as he felt her shook and he smiled because he knew she was climaxing to as well. He kissed her lovingly as they settled down in the bed and he said "I love you Sierra always have"

"I love you too Garrus" Sierra replied

Soooo let me know. And be kind because I've never written anything ever before. Let me know if ya'll want more or you think this should just be a one shot. And please leave some reviews!