Title: Through the Looking Glass
Disclaimer: Joss owns everyone except Gabrielle.
Author's Note: I figured this story just needed to be written, my pen encouraged me.
Summary: Very complicated. Imagine, season 4. About 17 years later from the moment Wesley saved Lilah from the beast on. She left, never got killed by Cordy ( so she never came back after that night ). Just imagine Cordy woke up from her coma somewhere in the meantime. So that's the setting, now a very catchy summary: Let's see how Wesley will deal with an unexpected surprise.
Rating: I'm thinking, PG-13? Or maybe just K+. I always find rating difficult, because I don't know how the following chapters will be yet. Let's just say PG-13, so, T, because younger ones may not see the deeper meaning of some stuff included? Yea, that sounds good I think. pats self on the head
Genre: Drama, some bits of comedy.
Pairings: Fresley hints and desire, actual Frunn, later on probably some Wilah, and Cangel 'at least' friendship.
Spoilers: Eh... I think up to season 4 since we're in a future-fic here?
Feedback: That would be great, I could use some. Maybe some tips if you have them?

Through the Looking Glass

1. The tunnel called life

Sometimes Wesley wondered whether his life actually still had purpose. Of course, he worked with Angel, who saved the world as easily as he would buy apples or milk, but what did 'he' do? Angel saved the world, Cordelia had the visions, Gunn had the muscles, Fred the brains, and Wesley...

Maybe Wesley had a bit of all, and according to the others 'he' had the brains. Yet Fred had the potential to become so much more than he was now, and then what would happen to him? Of course his friends loved him, that was obvious. But Wesley just couldn't get the idea that he wanted more out of his head...

With a sigh he closed his books and headed over to the lobby. They hadn't had a lot of customers lately, so Wesley was positively surprised when he found a woman entering the Hyperion Hotel.

'Good morning, miss. How may I help you?', Wesley asked her. As he walked closer, he soon came to the conclusion that she was still a girl, 16, maybe 17 years old. She was however the kind of girl who tried to look older. And she did, with her black high heels and her Chanel lady's suit she looked like at least 21.

From a distance.

If you came closer you would notice that the youthful features in her face betrayed her, despite of the mature haircut.

'This is Angel Investigations, right?', she asked, looking Wesley straight in the eye. Where had he seen those eyes before?

'Um... Yes, it is.', he replied, slightly caught of guard by her penetrating look.

'Perfect. I heard about it. And you are?', she questioned. Her voice had something familiar too.

'Wesley Wyndham-Pryce.'. Still the well-mannered man he was, Wesley held out his hand to her. She seemed to shake off her confidant attitude for a split second the moment he had told her his name, but it might as well just have been his imagination.

'I'm Gabrielle Morgan.', she introduced herself, shaking his hand, never letting go of his eyes.

Morgan... Where had Wesley heard that name before?

Of course... Lilah... How could he forget?

Wesley didn't think this girl was related to her, though. As far as he knew she didn't have any relatives besides an old mother with Alzheimer who was probably dead by now. And besides, Morgan was a common last name.

'A pleasure meeting you, miss Morgan. Is there anything we can help you with?'.

Gabrielle finally looked away from him and started to walk through the lobby, looking around. 'Actually, I'm looking for a job.'.

'A job?', Wesley raised his eyebrows. 'I don't think we...', he was cut off by Cordelia who had entered at some point without him noticing.

'Yes we do!', she walked over to the two of them. ' Gabrielle, right? We talked over the phone, good to see you're here!', Cordy said, shaking the girl's hand. In the mean time, Wesley still stood looking confused. 'Cordelia, I don't remember us talking about hiring someone.'.

'That's probably because we didn't. I asked Angel if we could have someone to help us with the paperwork, and that kind of things.', Cordelia explained. She glanced from Gabrielle to Wesley and came to the somewhat strange conclusion that they both had exactly the same eyes. Funny, maybe they were far relatives, as in the cousin of a cousin of a cousin or something. Could be, if you didn't put strong belief in Charles Darwin's Evolution-theory.

'And what was his answer to that?', Wesley inquired, finding it rather strange that Angel would agree to this idea despite of their lack of money.

'Well, it sounded like 'hmm', but as in 'leave me alone'. He was brooding, so I figured I could take that as a yes.', Cordy replied with a shrug.

Wesley sighed and felt possibly even more shut out than before. Did he even have a say in this? He turned to Gabrielle and excused them for a moment. He took Cordelia into his office. 'We can't afford to hire someone, and besides, how are you going to let a 'normal' mortal girl work with people like us?'', Wesley said, a bit annoyed by his friend's irresponsibility.

'People like us? We're very nice people!.', she joked.

'You know very well what I mean, Cordelia.'.

'Of course I know what you mean. And no worries, I'm not stupid. She knows about demon-stuff. '.

'She knows? How? What is she?'. There was something about the girl he didn't trust. Somehow he felt like she had something to hide.

'She's a 'normal', mortal girl, like you said, with an aunt who happens to be a witch. She doesn't have any powers herself, and don't worry about the money. She agreed to an affordable salary, so relax and leave it up to me.', Cordy said with a self-confidant smile.

Wesley sighed, once Cordelia had something in mind...

Even though Wesley, and Angel too, hadn't been too happy about hiring Gabrielle in the first place, they were pretty satisfied with her work. She picked everything up quite fast, and did everything well and organised. They could actually find their files now when they needed them, that was a huge improvement, and none of them had even dreamed of that possibility before Gabrielle.

However, they weren't so satisfied with Gabrielle's personality. She was quite bitch, and wouldn't accept any advice from anyone.

Except from Wesley.

She seemed to have a soft spot for him. Not that she was nice, but she was a little bit less mean than to the others.

In compare to Angel, Wesley and Cordelia, who were best friends and knew each other very well, they knew nothing about Gabrielle, besides her name, of course. When they asked her she would simply tell them it wasn't their business, or avoid the subject with great skill.

'Where do I put these files?', she asked Wesley on one day, entering his office with her arms full of files.

'Let's see...', Wesley walked over and took a look at the file which was on top. 'Ah, these are old. Angel wants to keep them, though. You can put them in the cabinet in the lobby, if you want.', he handed them back to her.

'How are you doing today?', he inquired. Somehow he felt connected to the girl, although he still didn't completely trust her. She was too 'mysterious', according to him. That, 'and' she reminded him too much of someone he didn't 'want' to remember at all. Wasn't 'supposed' to remember at all. She was gone, past. She'd been just a mistake. And besides, she had disappeared and would never see him again. That was probably for the best.

'I'm all right, thank you Mr. Wyndham-Pryce.'.

''Wesley'', he corrected her. Wesley sure was one for manners, but strangely he was more comfortable with his colleagues calling him by the first name . Probably because his colleagues here were also his best friends.

Gaby nodded . 'Wesley', she repeated with a smile.

Just when he thought they would actually have a conversation, she turned around and disappeared into the lobby.

'Cordelia, do you have a moment?', Wesley sat next to her on the couch at her apartment. He needed to hear someone else's opinion about this strange yet familiar girl.

'Sure, what's up?', Cordy looked up from her glossy magazine.

'Gabrielle... she..'.

'She's good! Isn't she!', Cordelia said enthusiastically. 'Okay, maybe she has a bit of a surprisingly mature taste for a sixteen year-old, but there are weirder things in this world right? Like big evil creatures trying to kill us? And then I haven't even mentioned alternate dimensions even Steven Spielberg has never thought of.'.

'Right.', Wesley agreed with her, a bit disappointed that apparently she didn't share his intuitive feelings.

'Why? You don't have a crush on her, do you! You should get someone of your own age!'.

'Cordelia, I do 'not' have a crush on this girl. And don't even question my abilities of getting someone of my 'own' age.', he defended himself. Wesley didn't feel the need to talk about his love life at all. Possibly because there was nothing to talk about at the moment. Hasn't been anything to talk about for a long time either.

'Then why don't you ? And 'don't ' use excuses like: it's impossible with our jobs, or : I'm too busy right now'. You just 'make' time for a lover! So, why don't you ?'. Cordy was always interested in the private lives of other people, even though it usually wasn't her business. That was probably why it interested her. Wesley's life, however, was very much her business. And she would not let one of her best friends grow old alone. She wouldn't be Cordelia Chase if she would just let that happen, without at least trying to do something about it. Wesley just sighed, slightly frustrated. 'Because, Cordelia.'.

'Because, you love Fred...', she continued on a softer tone now, more understanding. He looked down at the floor, staying quiet, which was obviously considered as a yes. Cordy put her hand on his knee, feeling sad for his one-sided love. 'Maybe she'll change her mind some day...'.

'Yes, perhaps she will...'. Wesley really appreciated his friend's concern, but he wasn't up for it right now. He'd came here to discuss Gabrielle, not his fairly desperate love-life. It was clear now though that Cordelia had nothing negative, strange or mystical to say about the girl. Wesley figured he should ask Angel, and so that's what he did the following day.

'Gabrielle? She's fine, right?', Angel said with a frown. He was rather busy working on an important case and couldn't care less about the character of a regular employee who reminded him just a tad too much of a certain Wolfram & Hart lawyer whom he hadn't seen for the past 16 years and hadn't felt the need to either.

'She is fine, indeed.', Wesley replied, feeling more left out than ever since none of his friends seemed to support his thoughts.

'So then what's the problem?'. It wasn't that Angel was annoyed by Wesley, but he just wasn't very good at doing two things at the same time. And so, he would have to choose between two things: an important case which could furnish them a lot of money they very much needed, or a nice chit-chat with Wesley which he could have any time of the day later. Wasn't such a difficult decision.

'Nothing, really... There is no problem.', Wesley said with a sad undertone in his voice. If Angel didn't even share his feelings, no one probably would. He turned around and walked through the dark corridor towards his own office. Would he look too much like Angel if he would leave the lights off? He just felt more comfortable in the dark tonight, the light only betrayed him. Betrayed everyone. Light made everyone think the end of the tunnel was near. Wesley knew better. When he was a child his father had always made sure there was no end of the tunnel for him. And now, as an adult, he could look right through the false promises of light. For him, there was only one light that could help him through the tunnel called life.

The one light he would never have.

'Fred.', he said, and looked up surprised to see her still around here at this hour. It was quite late, and he had expected everyone besides him and Angel to have gone to bed.

'Hey.', she smiled, and just stood there in the doorframe. If only she knew, that standing there, just like that, 'could' give Wesley's life all the purpose it needed... If only Gunn wouldn't be there to make sure it didn't...it couldn't... Fred wasn't his, and Wesley would have to learn how to live with that. Perhaps, even though she didn't know, she could be his light. Not the great, radiating life he craved for, but small and modest. Just like she was. Yea, maybe she could be that. It wasn't the utmost happiness he could have...

But just enough.

'I never noticed Angel's brooding was contagious.', Fred said wit ha smile, and turned on a little light.

'No. Nor did I. I suppose that occasionally we all prefer dark over light.', Wesley said.

'Yea, that's probably also why we work with Angel. And with preferring dark you don't mean you're planning on going evil, right? ', she inquired, concern sounding through in her sweet voice. The sweetest voice he had ever heard, according to Wesley.

Funny how light and dark are always connected with good and evil. Wesley hadn't thought of that yet, but it explained why everyone needed the dark sometimes. No one was truly good, or 'white' after all. White... Black and white, two other things always connected to good and evil. That comparison made him think of something a person whom he hadn't seen for 16 years had said once:

'Funny thing with black and white is, if you mix it together, you get grey. And then no matter how much white you add, you're never going to get anything but grey'.

Lilah...

Wesley thought of her more often lately, although he didn't really want to. She just popped up in his mind occasionally, with no reason. Probably because Gabrielle reminded him of her in a certain way. Anyway, back then Wesley hadn't listened when she said that. But now he did, and he understood.

Wesley was grey.

Everyone was grey...

He smiled at Fred. 'No, I'm not planning to go evil any time soon... I was just thinking.'.

Fred walked closer to his desk. 'What were you thinking of?'.

You, he wanted to say. But that would probably only turn Fred's life greyer. And also Gunn's, who Wesley still considered as a good friend. So, he'd rather lie and save his friends a lot of black.

'About Gabrielle...'.

'O, her. She's a little bit strange, don't you think? ', Fred said, and Wesley looked up surprised. Someone actually shared his opinion.

Someone understood.