When Max caught David standing outside, a bouquet of roses clutched in his hand, and a wide grin stretched across his face, he was hit with a sense of deja vu.
'Fuck,' he thought. Because this was reminding him uncomfortably of what had happened with Bonquisha, and unlike back then, he did not want to know any details. No way was he dealing with a distraught David again. This camp was bad enough as it was.
"What are you doing?" Neil asked, ignoring Max's sharp warning glance.
David glanced at them and smiled. "I'm waiting for my boyfriend," he said proudly, and Max inwardly winced. Yup. David was in a relationship. Predictably, this would end badly, and they needed to get the hell out of here before it did.
"You have a boyfriend?!" Nikki asked eagerly, completely oblivious of the approaching danger.
"Yup!" David's smile widened. "And he's the most incredible, handsome, funny — "
"Okay, time to leave," Max muttered, taking a step backwards.
" — wonderful boyfriend ever!"
"Ooh, who is he?" Nikki asked, leaning forward. "Where'd you meet him?!"
Max winced. "Dammit, have you not learned your lesson from the last time this happened?!"
David cocked his head to the side thoughtfully. "Well, I'd say our first meeting was when he first came to work for this camp. But we really hit it off after he'd left. You see — "
For a minute Max was confused. And then he wasn't. Then he was horrified. Because there were very few people that came into this camp that weren't underage, Bonquisha, or…
"Please tell me you're talking about Cameron Campbell."
David's brow furrowed. "What?"
Oh God. "David, you fucking idiot, you are not talking about Daniel."
David beamed. "So you do remember him!"
"Of course I remember him!" Max yelled. "He tried to kill us!"
David clasped his hands together, his eyes shining. Obviously he hadn't heard a word of what Max had just said. "You see, I visited him in the hospital after that awful incident with the punch, and we realised how much we had in common."
"You're dating a fucking cultist!"
"You do have a lot in common," Nikki said. Her eyes widened. "Ooh, I wonder if you're related?!"
Neil frowned. "Wait, why isn't he in jail?"
"Why would Daniel be in jail?" David asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"…Because he tried to kill all of us…?"
"What?"
"The punch you idiot!" Max snapped.
David frowned. "Now kids," he admonished, "it may have been some bad punch, but that was a complete accident. Daniel would never — "
A car pulled up, and Max was hit with another feeling of deja vu. This time, though, it was even worse, because the person who stepped out was Daniel.
"Fuck."
"Oh my god…" Neil murmured, paling as he stared at Daniel.
Nikki nodded. "Definitely related."
...
" — and that's why we have seriously got to do something about this before that creep tries to kill us again, and probably succeeds this time."
He was met with silence. The rest of the campers (save for Nikki and Neil, who were flanking him on either side) stared at him, and Max hoped to hell that they'd understood how serious this was. David had fucked up yet again, and this time it was bad. This time, there was a crazy cult leader involved — a crazy cult leader who had tried to kill them all. They'd gotten lucky last time; Max was not taking any risks this time. There was no way he was dying in this shitty camp.
"…Wait, so David's dating again?" Space Kid asked.
Max nodded, and a series of groans erupted from the group.
"So not cool," Ered grumbled.
Nerris scowled. "Not again. I barely had enough time to practice my charms the last time this happened!"
"Dammit!" Nerf yelled. "If this happens one more time, I am seriously going to lose it!"
Thank fuck these losers actually seemed to understand. Max nodded his head quickly, fists clenched tightly at his sides. "I know! But guys, as annoying as you all are, I think that if we ban together, we should be able to — "
"So let's just get this over with and get them back together then."
Max paused and turned to Ered. "Wait, what?"
Nerf shrugged. "Yeah might as well."
"And do we really want to stand in the way of true love?" Preston held a fist close to his chest.
"Er, Max, what are they talking about?" Nikki asked, leaning closer to him and frowning in confusion.
Hell if he knew. "No idea," Max replied, and then, in a louder voice: "What the fuck are you guys talking about?!"
Preston beamed. "Why, your plan to reunite David with his true love, of course!"
Max felt his eye twitch, and was instantly reminded of exactly why he hated this camp so much. Sure, there were a lot of other reasons, but being constantly surrounded by a bunch of morons sure didn't help.
"We're trying to break them up, you idiots!"
Space Kid frowned, confused. "But you were trying to get them back together before…"
"Yes, because David was being annoying, and she wasn't a psychopath."
"What is he talking about?" Ered complained.
Max resisted the urge to face-palm, and reminded himself that this was a desire situation, and that getting rid of the crazy cultist was more important then telling his fellow campers exactly what he thought of them.
"I mean David and Bonquisha would have been fine. Actually, they would have been hilarious. But this — fuck no."
"Wait," Harrison interrupted, "I thought David was dating Bonquisha."
"NO! What the hell?!"
"I don't think this is going well," Neil murmured, shifting nervously.
"Yeah, Max is crashing and burning," Nikki said, nodding. "It'd be really entertaining if we weren't all going to die."
"David is dating Daniel," Max said, his fists clenching. "Daniel, you idiots."
There was a chorus of "Ohs," from the group, and Max felt himself relax. It had taken some time, but they'd finally understood. Now they could start making a plan to get Daniel far away from this place.
"Well, that's okay then. Daniel's pretty cool."
"WHAT?!"
"Yeah, Daniel was nice," Nerris agreed.
"He built us a sauna!"
"And threw us a party! Hey, I wonder if we could convince him — "
"You idiots!" Max yelled, and they all turned to him, looking various degrees of confused, annoyed and bored. "Daniel isn't cool, he's insane! And in case you're forgetting, that psycho tried to kill all of us!"
The door's of the mess hall opened, and David and Daniel walked in. Max felt his fists tighten. Nikki and Neil shot him alarmed looks.
"Kids!" David said in his usual, annoyingly chipper voice. "I have an announcement to make — "
"You're dating Daniel?" Dolf interrupted.
David blinked. "Yes. How did you know?"
Daniel was standing by David's side, grinning proudly, and Max felt rage churning in his gut. What gave that creep the right to come back here, after what he'd done? And why had that idiot David brought him back?
(Well, okay, that was pretty simple — for some reason, David still didn't know that Daniel was batshit crazy, and apparently none of the other campers did either. Christ, Max would never understand this world).
Well, he wasn't sticking around for this. They could pretend everything was fine, but he knew the truth, and there was no fucking way he was letting Daniel win.
"Come on guys," he said to Nikki and Neil. They had some work to do.
...
They tried quizzing Daniel about the punch in front of David.
It didn't work.
They tried bringing Bonquisha back. She simply slammed the door in their faces, and yelled something along the lines of "cooky religious nut jobs better leave me alone or I'm gonna introduce them to a world of pain."
They tried lying and saying that Cameron Campbell wanted him gone. It didn't work.
('How did that not work, David had a permanent boner for Campbell, DAMMIT').
They tried to sic him on another camp.
They tried to poison him again.
No matter how hard they tried, nothing fucking worked.
...
A few days later, and Max was close to breaking point. Nikki and Neil didn't look much better, although they looked more uncertain than angry and desperate like Max felt.
The three of them walked into the Mess Hall, and the moment they'd stepped inside, Max knew something was wrong. Ered was zooming past on a skateboard he sure as hell had never seen before, Dolf was painting with good art supplies, instead of whatever shitty paints and brushes the camp could scrounge together. And that was wrong. That was very very wrong. This was Camp Campbell, and at Camp Campbell you did not find 'good quality' anything.
"Hey, what's everyone doing?" Nikki asked, glancing around the room.
Neil nodded. "Yeah, this stuff actually looks…good."
Ered rolled past them and shot them a lazy smirk. "I got this rad new skateboard."
"And these new art supplies!" Dolf chimed in, pausing his work to wave an art brush around enthusiastically. "They are superb!"
"And look at my new wizard's outfit and wand!" Nerris said, twirling around.
"…Okay, what the hell is going on here?!"
Daniel chose that moment to walk over, that infuriating smile stretched across his face, and Max thought, 'I should have fucking known.'
Daniel's gaze flickered to Max, taking in his deep scowl and clenched fists, and his smile widened. "Oh kids, I was just looking for you!"
"Yeah?" Neil said, looking uncertain. "Why?"
Daniel simply handed him a box, his smile unwavering.
Neil hesitated before taking it (ignoring Max's warning glances), and stared at it warily for a moment, before opening it. "New…science supplies?"
Daniel nodded. "The very best! I saw the stuff they had set up out there, and I thought, 'well, they can't expect him to make new and exciting scientific breakthroughs with that.'"
Neil reached into the box and pulled out a glass beaker. He stared at it with a wide-eyed, awestruck expression.
"It's a cruel world out there," he murmured, stroking it lovingly.
"WHAT?!"
"So?" Daniel leaned forward eagerly, ignoring Max's enraged yell. "Do you like it?"
"Like it?!" Neil's continue to gaze unblinkingly at his new science supplies. God, Max knew he'd been deprived at this camp, but wasn't this taking things a little too far? "I love — uh…" He glanced at Max, and swallowed. "Uh, it's…"
"Ooh!" Nikki squealed, "What did you get me?!"
"Well, Nikki — "
"Can I talk to you guys?" Without waiting for a response, Max latched onto his two friends, and dragged them off. He tried to ignore the way Daniel stared after them. God, that guy was a creep, and the sooner they got him out of here, the sooner things could go back to normal (not that things were usually that great around here, but — well. Anything was better than having the crazy cult leader here).
"Hey!" Nikki complained, when Max let go of her arm. "I was just about to get my present!"
"Don't you see what he's doing?!" Max snapped. "He's bribing you!"
Neil snorted. "Please. Why would he do that?"
"Because he's bribing everyone. Look around!" Max gestured at the other campers, who were happily playing with the new things that Daniel had bought them.
Neil shrugged uncertainly. "Well…Max…I know that Daniel was crazy and all but…it's been a week. He hasn't really done anything."
Max blinked incredulously. "Don't tell me you actually believe his crap! He got you some shitty science beakers, not a fucking car."
"Hey!" Neil said defensively. "It was actually some top of the range stuff, okay? And that's not why I'm saying this. We're spending a lot of time trying to break him and David up, and in all that time, he hasn't actually done anything!"
Nikki nodded. "That's true. The last time he was here, he tried to brainwash us pretty much as soon as he got here."
The three of them glanced over to where Daniel was standing, smiling at them, and looking, for the most part, fairly un-threatening.
Neil frowned slightly. "I…honestly think he's turned a new leaf."
Max made a noise of disbelief, as he struggled to process what was going on in front of him. Nikki and Neil were actually falling for this shit? "You guys can't be serious! He hasn't 'turned a new leaf', he's just pretending!"
"But why would he do that?" Nikki asked. "He didn't do it before."
'Because — because — for fucks sake you guys, stop arguing, we just need to get him away from David — "
Neil frowned. "I thought this was about getting Daniel out of the camp?"
Max flushed, and said, flustered, "It is! But think of it this way — if he kills David off, who do you think he'll come for next? Us!"
Nikki and Neil exchanged glances. Neil then turned to Max, his expression apologetic.
"Max…I'm just kind of sick of this. I think Daniel's honestly harmless now." He shrugged. "Besides, if he starts acting weird again, then we can always stop him."
Max shook his head and stepped away. "Screw his. You buddy up with Daniel then — I'm out of here."
Ignoring Neil and Nikki's calls (and that ever present grin on Daniel's face, dammit), Max stormed out of the room.
Fine. He'd lost his only allies in this. That was okay, because he didn't need them. Apparently he was the only one here with an actual working brain, so he'd just have to take care of this by himself.
...
Eventually, Max decided that the best course of action was to just confront Daniel. Sure, it wasn't his best work, but he was honestly out of ideas, and just plain sick of this. He wanted that idiot gone as soon as possible, and he wasn't wasting anymore time.
Max managed to corner Daniel while he was making his way over to his and David's cabin.
"I know what you're doing."
Daniel, who had been humming absently to himself, paused and looked at Max. "Hmm?"
"You," Max said, taking a threatening step forward. "Getting all cozy with everyone at camp, and then this shit show you've started with David — "
"You mean our relationship," Daniel interjected.
Max scowled. "No. This is not a relationship. This is you using David, and him believing you because he's an idiot."
To Max's annoyance, Daniel did not look the slightest bit perturbed at this accusation. "That's a very dark outlook on life you have there, Max. Ever thought that I could be with David because I truly love him?"
"Hell no!"
Daniel smiled. "Good. Because I don't."
"You asshole — wait, what?" Max stopped abruptly and stared at Daniel in confusion.
Daniel sighed, and moved his gaze away from Max to stare thoughtfully ahead. "I suppose I could if I really tried. He is very handsome."
"He looks just like you," Max said flatly.
"…But his personality would be very hard to deal with on a daily basis. No one is that happy all the time. And don't get me started on his obsession with this camp — we just have such different outlooks on Camp Campbell. He wants it to last forever, and I…don't. Obviously." Daniel shook his head, let out a regretful sigh, and returned his gaze to Max.
"Why…why the fuck are you telling me this?" Max finally managed.
Daniel shrugged. "I'll be honest with you, Max. You think I'm lying. You think my whole relationship with Daniel is a lie. You think I'm bribing the campers." He shrugged again. "You're right."
Max gaped.
"Why, you may ask?" Daniel continued, ignoring the growing incredulity on Max's face. "Well, my last plan didn't wok because of that punch." His eye twitched. "I lay in my hospital bed, recovering from the poison, and thinking of ways to make Camp Campbell pay. I'll admit, I did have a few close calls. I nearly got caught out when a nurse saw a picture of me in the paper, but I lied and told her that I'd only recently bleached my hair, so it couldn't possibly be me!"
"The fuck?" Max said, and Daniel simply nodded, grinning proudly.
"And then David visited! So kind, so worried, so guilty that he hadn't double checked if the punch was bad enough — and that gave me an idea. I thought I'd do something different. I'd win over your trust, lull you into a false sense of security — and then I'd finish you off."
"…Again, why are you telling me this?!"
"Because," Daniel said, "I know you, Max, and I know that you can't be bought over like the rest of your little friends. So I'll strike a deal with you — you don't say anything to anyone, and I'll let you go home."
"…You do realise I'm a ten year old kid with no way of getting home, right?"
Daniel smiled. "I'll drive you home personally."
Max snorted. "Oh right, because David would be completely fine with a missing camper."
Daniel cocked his head to the side, a thoughtful expression on his face. "You know Max, one would think that you actually liked it here."
"Fuck no," Max retorted quickly. "I'm just saying that you're plan is stupid, and…I'm not going to let you kill a bunch of people."
Because there was no way in Hell that he actually liked this place. He just wasn't a complete psychopath, that was all.
Daniel rolled his eyes, looking completely unconcerned. "And what do you plan to do about it? Tell David? He won't believe you." He took a step forwards, and Max had to force himself not to move away. "What about your little friends? Do you think that they would listen?"
Max's fists were clenched at his sides. "You fucking creep…I won't let you do this."
With that, he turned around, and walked away. If there was a bit of extra speed in his step, and if he maybe glanced over his shoulder once or twice, it sure as hell wasn't because he was scared. He'd be an idiot not to watch his back around that lunatic.
He had a major problem though. Daniel was right — David was too much of an idiot to listen, and the other campers had all been bought off. Once again, Max was the last one standing, the only one left to go up against that psycho —
…Except no, he wasn't, was he? The last time Daniel was here, the other campers had been picked off one by one, and David was too busy being David to realise that there was a psychopath trying to kill them all. But this time…there was someone else.
Gwen.
'Jesus fuck, we are all going to die.'
Well…it was worth a shot at any rate.
...
"Gwen!"
Gwen looked up as Max burst through the doors of her cabin. She'd been hunched over her laptop, staring miserably at yet another job rejection email.
"Max?"
"Where have you been these last few days?" Max demanded, his hands pressed against his knees as he struggled to catch his breath.
Gwen shrugged. "Eh, David and his creepy lookalike pretty much have everything covered, so I'm taking some time to send out some resumes." She shot a miserable glance at her computer screen. "I really need a new job…"
"Daniel is a psychopath."
Gwen sighed. "Max — "
Max cut her off. "He's a cultist, and he's planning to kill all of us."
Gwen settled back in her chair, looking exhausted. "Look Max, I know he's a little strange, but calling him a cultist is going a bit far."
"He tried to poison us!"
Gwen's brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about? Wait, do you man when he ended up in hospital? Because that was just some bad punch."
"I wasn't bad punch, dammit! He was going to kill us! And he's going to do it again — he admitted it!"
Gwen continued to look sceptical, and Max had to hold himself back from screaming.
"Oh for Gods — " His eyes flickered to the computer screen, and widened as he was struck by a sudden idea. Gwen didn't believe him? Fine. He'd just have to prove it. After all, there was no way that this was that Freakshow's first time."
Max walked up, and gave Gwen a hard shove. "Move."
"Max!" Gwen yelped as she toppled off the chair. "What the hell?!"
Max ignored her and sat himself on the chair. "There's no way someone that fucked up doesn't have a criminal past," he said, as he opened an internet browser. He stared at the screen for a moment, his brow furrowed. "Hey, what's his full name?"
Gwen blinked. "Uh…"
Max turned to her, incredulous. "You hired him! How do you not know?!"
"I don't know!" Gwen said defensively. "He just showed up and started working here!"
Oh Jesus fuck, how had this place not been shut down years ago?
"So you don't know anything about this guy?"
"Uh…"
"Oh for fuck's sake." Max turned back to the computer, and typed 'Crazy aryan cultist camp leader'. Apparently he was just going to have to improvise.
Gwen shook her head. "Max, this is insane. You aren't going to find anything — "
The screen was immediately filled with a series of alarming titles, mostly from news articles — "Cult Leader Kills Entire Summer Camp." "This guy is bad news." "His name is Daniel, he's a crazy cultist, that's all you need to know."
And, if there was any doubt, the smiling photo of Daniel above all this told them enough.
"…Fuck," Gwen said.
...
David was in Heaven.
He never would have thought he'd find love again after Bonquisha. She'd been the love of his life, and losing her had been heartbreaking. But then Daniel had come along, and it had been so unexpected, but so welcome at the same time. Everything was perfect. He and Daniel were amazing together, the kids loved Daniel (except for Max, but he'd come around eventually, David knew he would), and David wouldn't need to punch anyone this time.
"Oh Daniel," he said, "I just so happy."
Daniel smiled at him, and David felt butterflies in his stomach. Oh, this was so going in his diary later! "I know you are, Davey."
David leaned closer. "I just feel like you really get me, you know? Oh, and I'm just so happy that everyone has accepted you!"
Daniel's smile faltered slightly, and he averted his gaze. "Well, not everyone…"
David's eyes widened. "Oh, you mean Max? Don't worry about that Daniel, he'll come around!" He placed a supportive hand on the other man's shoulder, and smiled widely, "Why, look at how much he loves the camp now!"
For some reason David could have sworn that he'd seen Daniel's eye twitch. Huh. Must of been a trick of the light.
David leaned closer. "Now, why don't we — "
The doors burst open, and Max and Gwen came hurtling in.
David pulled away, and turned to them, his eyes wide. "Guys, what — ?"
"Shut the fuck up, David." Max turned to Daniel, his eyes flashing dangerously. "You — it's over."
David opened his mouth to protest, but Gwen shook her head. "David, listen to Max," she said firmly. "Seriously, you have screwed up so badly right now."
"I have proof you creep!" Max spat. "Proof that you are a psychopath hell bent on killing all of us!"
Daniel blinked. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Max walked forward, and thrust a small pile of paper into David's hands. David glanced at them momentarily, already formulating a plan to tell Max off without hurting him too much, because while David was angry, Max had to be acting out for a reason, and lashing out without thought would only —
His eyes scanned the pages and his mind blanked. The words 'Cultist kills summer camp…Don't hire this man' jumped out at him, and…was that a photo of Daniel?
These were newspaper articles. Real, honest, newspaper articles. And maybe Max could have faked these, but David didn't think so. As much as he didn't want to believe it, Max wasn't lying now. And Gwen was here too, staring at him with eyes that were sympathetic, worried and angry.
"Daniel," he said, his voice sounding numb and distant, "you…you tried to kill us?"
"What?" Daniel stared at him, shocked. "Davey, don't be silly! That's not me."
"Don't even try it, asshole!" Max snapped. "Your picture is right there!"
Daniel shook his head, and took a step closer to David. "It couldn't possibly be me — I only bleached my hair after that photo had been taken."
"Oh thank god, I knew there was a — wait a minute, you're not fooling me with that one! I know those soft, luxurious locks have never been touched with bleach!" David shot Daniel a furious look.
"Dammit," Daniel muttered.
David's dropped the papers, and felt his fists clench. "You tried to hurt my campers. You…tried to kill my campers."
Daniel shook his head. "Davey, the kid probably faked the whole thing. Ever heard of Photoshop?"
"He didn't photoshop anything," Gwen said, glaring. "I was there the whole time."
"She's probably lying too! I've seen the way she looks at you — "
"Excuse me?!"
" — she's been trying to break us up the whole time she's been here!"
"I've barely been around you guys since you got here!" Gwen snapped. "I've literally been focusing all my attention on trying to get away from this camp!"
Daniel shook his head ruefully. "It hurts her to be around us."
"David!" Max yelled. "You can't actually be falling for this crap!"
David's expression darkened. "No," he said coldly. "No, I'm not." He took a few steps forward, until he was standing directly in front of Daniel. He leaned forward.
"You tried to hurt my kids, you fucking bastard."
Max's eyes widened. "Holy shit."
Daniel's expression faltered. "Davey — "
Whatever else he'd been about to say was cut off when David's fist slammed against his jaw.
"Don't you ever mess with my campers."
Daniel hit the floor, and lay still.
David turned away, panting hard, and was met with Gwen and Max's shocked expressions.
The angry expression faded, and he rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. "Uh…we should probably call the cops."
...
"Thanks," said on of the agents Max recognised from the premier of Preston's play, "We've been searching all over for this guy. Came pretty close at one point, but it turned out it was just some poor sucker who had bleached his hair after we'd taken this photo."
Max barely resisted the urge to face-palm.
Daniel was then dragged out the doors of the Mess Hall, promising (quite loudly) to return and extract his revenge.
"Jesus," Gwen muttered. "What a creep."
From beside him, David let out a soft sigh. He'd been fairly quiet since everything had gone down, which was strange considering his waterworks after Bonquisha had left. This just wasn't normal.
(Then again, David had just socked Daniel in the face. He had completely lost it…for them. So, it wasn't like any of this was really 'normal').
"I'm sorry, Max," David said quietly.
Max shrugged, and averted his gaze. "It's not like I really expected anything else from you, you idiot."
David bit his lip. "I know, but…I really cared for Daniel, you know? I thought we really had something. After Bonquisha, I didn't think…"
Max swallowed and shrugged again. "Yeah, well, you have terrible taste."
"I know," David said, his shoulders slumping.
Max shifted uncomfortably. He glanced at David, taking in the despondent expression on his face, and thought, 'fucking goddammit.'
"But look, I…guess it wasn't just you. I mean the whole camp fell for his shit, so, uh, you can't completely blame yourself."
David sniffed.
"And it's not like anyone got hurt," Max continued hurriedly. "They just got a heap of free stuff. And you punched Daniel, which, holy shit, was actually…not completely lame for once."
"He was going to hurt you kids," David said. "I couldn't let him get away with that."
Max nodded. "Like I said, not completely lame."
David smiled.
"…That does not mean that you're cool, though."
David's smile didn't falter. He reached down and ruffled Max's hair. "It's all thanks to you, though. You never gave up on us, even when we refused to listen."
Max flushed. "It's not because I like this place, okay? Or you. I was just bored. And Daniel was a creep."
David said nothing, just continued to smile.
Max flushed. "Stop smiling you idiot!"
Because he didn't like this camp. He really didn't. And if he maybe felt a little bit proud of David it was only because he was shocked that the moron hadn't broken down by this point and turned into a blubbering mess. That was all.
(Still though, now that Daniel was gone, it'd be nice to see things return to normal).