Bittersweet

I don't own Neopets.

1: Heartsick, Homesick

The glass bottle in my paw seemed to be weighing me down.

I took a long, deep breath, dreading the ordeal I was about to go through. I knew it was necessary, but that didn't stop me hating it. Turning the doorknob as slowly as possible, I stepped into my siblings' sick-room.

The heat, as always, was the first thing to hit me. A burst of hot, unbearably dry air filled my lungs, making me splutter and choke as if I was the ill one in the family. In this room, the radiators were always at full blast and the windows never open.

"…B-beauty?" my Acara brother whispered. "Is… th-that you?"

"It is," I managed. "Brought your medicine."

My sister broke into another burst of coughing. I shook my head sadly. Although the medicine would help for a while, there was no doubt about it: Marty and Miki were getting worse by the day.

It was the climate, Dr. Gelert had said. My older siblings had been brought up in the Lost Desert, in the heart of Sakhmet City, while I had been born here in Neopia Central, where there was always a threat of cold and rain to come. My warm fur kept out the chill, while my brother and sister were always suffering. Serazza had never anticipated anything like this when she'd moved away from Sakhmet.

I finished giving Marty his medicine and moved on to Miki. She was smaller and weaker than he was, and I worried a lot for her. One spoonful. Two. Three.

As I finished pouring out the fourth spoonful of medicine, the heat finally overcame me. Handing the spoon to the little Shoyru in the bed, I collapsed to the floor, letting myself fall into a faint blissfully free of hot air and suffocating Xweetok fur.

...---...

"Beauty… you're awake. Good."

As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew something was wrong. Serazza was looking down at me, with Dr. Gelert at her side. A shudder of panic shot through me. The doctor wouldn't normally come out on weekends. Miki had looked so pale and ill… what if….

"Beauty… oh, I don't know how to say this…"

I pushed myself off the floor. "Serazza, what is it?"

"I've just been talking to Dr. Gelert here about Miki and Marty." My owner sighed. Now that I looked at her, there was a look in her eyes as if she'd been crying.

"The doctor says… he says that they'll only get worse if we don't give them a change of climate. They're allergic to the air here in Neopia Central."

"But we've given them all the change we can," I said doubtfully. "The radiators won't go any higher, and we even bought a magical Faerie Oven just to keep it burning in the sickroom."

"Beauty, I'm not talking about making their sickroom warmer," Serazza put in. "Dr. Gelert says the best thing to do would be… to go back to Sakhmet City. All of us."

"For… for how long?" I was shuddering at the thought of spending even a couple of days in that nightmare city, but maybe for Marty and Miki, I could…

"For good," Serazza whispered tearfully. "We'd have to stay there if they weren't to get worse."

"No…" Even though the window of the living-room was wide open, letting in a cool breeze, I began to gasp for breath. "Serazza, I can't. I just can't live in Sakhmet City. Not even for Miki's sake. I'd die, Serazza."

"I have to take them, Beauty." My owner looked moments from breaking down. "And if you really can't come with us… we'll have to have you adopted by someone else. You'll have to go to the Adoption Centre. I'm sorry, Beauty. I'm sorry."

My world fell apart.

How could Serazza do this to me? How?

But I remembered Miki's pale face and her laboured breathing, every breath a struggle, and I realised it wasn't a case of a decision.

Serazza had no choice. That didn't mean it was any easier. I resented the fact that I meant less than Marty and Miki to her, and that I was the last to know about the move. I hated to think of my siblings playing happily with her in the new house, while I languished in a cage.

I couldn't cope. And yet I had to.

...---...

That was how I came to find myself alone in Neopia Central, carrying only a few Neopoints and a set of dancing pawshoes. Once, Serazza had talked about sending me to dance classes, if she could earn the money. Now, there would be no classes, no money, no Serazza. Nothing.

I had told her I'd go to the Adoption Centre on my own. It hurt to leave before I had to, but my owner was going through enough as it was. I didn't want her to see me being carried into the room of locked doors and crying Neopets, couldn't let her see the cynical face of that Techo doctor as he checked in what he'd think was yet another neglected, unloved pet.

I paused by the Rainbow Pool, gazing down at my reflection in the water. When I was younger, I had thought it was only a matter of time before I had a paintbrush of my own. That was before all our money had to be spent on medicine, though. Now I sighed at the image of a plain blue Xweetok, small and weak with no distinguishing features. No-one would want to adopt me. Who could care for such a common Neopet?

"Out of the way! Sorry about this! Out of the waaaaaay!"

I heard the voice before I saw where it was coming from: the terrified voice of a young human. The crowds nearby parted in a hurry to let through a yellow Eyrie, careering through the main square as if there were no obstacles whatsoever in its way. The teenage boy on its back tried desperately to pull the pet out of its enthusiastic dive, but in vain.

"Helly, that's the Rainbow Pool…. look out for that Xweetok!"

The warning came too late. One wing swept me off my paws and straight into the swirling coloured water.

I spluttered, trying to surface. I had never been a good swimmer, having had no-one to teach me: lifelong Sakhmetians have no reason to learn underwater skills.

"Hang on in there, sweetheart!"

A pair of hooves reached into the water, scooping me up. My head broke the surface of the water, and I took a long, grateful breath.

"Someone ought to arrest that Eyrie," complained my rescuer. "It's not the first time she's caused havoc round here. Are you all right?"

I found myself looking at a tall, slim Mutant Ixi with a faded collar around her neck. As she gazed at me, then past me at the pool I'd just fallen into, she began to giggle uncontrollably.

"Oh, nice job," she laughed, ruffling my fur. "You've really upset that Poogle."

A plump yellow Poogle was sitting by the edge of the water, wailing like an upset Kadoatie. His owner was fussing over him anxiously. "Oh, don't worry, poochiekins. Mummy will buy you a new Pink Paintbrush, don't you cry. I'll be writing to the Neopian Daily News about that stupid paint-stealing Xweetok…"

Paint-stealing… Xweetok? I glanced down at my own fur. Sure enough, where my cool blue fur had been before was a long stripe of bright pink. I had stolen the Poogle's paint job, entirely by accident. Despite my sad mood, I couldn't stop myself from smiling gently.

"Heehee… Spoilt pets," giggled the Ixi. "I used to know loads like that, way back when. Wish I could buy you some kinda treat, honey. I haven't laughed like that in weeks."

"Well, I guess I'll have a better chance of being adopted now," I said quietly, fishing the Neopoint bag and my pawshoes out of the water.

She gave me a long look. "You're homeless, sweetie?"

"I am." I sniffed back a tear and gave her a defiant glare. "What's it to you?"

"Not a lot," she shrugged. "After all, I am, too. If you like, I could take you for a meal at the Soup Kitchen before you go to the Adoption Centre…"

I didn't have anything to lose, I reasoned. "All right. I'll come."

...---...

"Cutie!"

The Soup Faerie put down her ladle and smiled at my new friend. "Cutie Darkclaw. Haven't seen you in a while. And who's your little friend?"

"Just someone I owe a favour," the Ixi told her. "The usual twice, please."

Over a canful of delicious soup, my newfound friend studied me in silence and reflected to herself.

"That's awful rough, to be on the streets as young as you," she remarked. "Glad I'm not you, honey. But being homeless isn't so bad if you can keep yourself out of the hands of that Techo doctor."

"Keep yourself out?" It was news to me. "I thought all homeless pets had to be sent to him."

"You really are new, aren't you? Sure, if you're under a certain age, you have to go." She drank the last of her soup with a resounding slurp. "But I'm old enough to live on my own."

"Wish I was," I said sadly, staring down into my soup. The prospect of weeks, maybe months, in the Adoption Centre was sending shivers through my body, in spite of the warmth of the kitchen.

"Well…" She gave me another of her long gazes. "You don't have to go if there's a responsible pet looking after you instead of an owner."

I said nothing.

"'Course, I'm a bit of an irresponsible pet," she added. "But I don't think they'd care much if you came and lived with me."

"With you? Really?" I felt a rush of hope as she smiled at me.

"Sure thing." Handing back her soup can, she took a white paper package from the Faerie. "And you can call me Cutie, by the way."

"I'm Beauty…" The name stuck in my throat as I remembered how Serazza used to say it, how Miki had smiled at its sound even from her sickbed. "Beautyxweetok…"

"Hey now, don't say it if it upsets you," Cutie told me gently. "If that's how it is, then you just need a new name. Don't worry. I'll find you one."

I laid my head on the table, trying to stop the tears that were welling up in my eyes.

Cutie's home was a one-room cardboard-and-chipwood Neohome in a derelict corner of Neopia Central. A tattered rug lay on the floor, but there was little furniture to speak of save for a single battered tall lamp that lit the room with a flickering glow. In one corner, a sketch of a starry Wocky kit was pinned to the wall.

"I know," Cutie began awkwardly. "It's probably not what you're used to. You can still leave if you want to."

I didn't want to, and I felt that she didn't want me to go, either. Besides, I suspected that the shelter I'd get at the Adoption Centre was little better. Laying down my pawshoes, I found a space to sit on the old rug.

"Have one of these," the Ixi girl offered, holding out the paper bag. "Soup Faerie knows I really like them."

In the bag were candy canes, long, sticky white bars striped with bright colours. I took one between my forepaws and began to lick it, savouring the sweet peppermint taste.

"Hey, honey?" Cutie held out a yellow-striped cane. "Try this one, it's my favourite. See what you think."

The lemon candy cane had a surprisingly sharp flavour. My eyes widened in surprise at its bitter tang.

"Nice, huh?" Cutie asked, taking it from me again. "You know, sometimes the best things in life are kinda bittersweet. You should remember that."

"I was going to be a dancer," I said distantly, unsure why the words were coming out. "I wanted to take dance classes. I could've, if..."

"A dancer, huh?" Cutie thought about it. "Show me. Those are dancing pawshoes you have there, right?"

So I picked up my shoes and began.

A shaft of moonlight lit up the cold floor like a spotlight on a stage, and I started to feel more confident. My paws swept back and forth as I swung from hind legs to forelegs, letting the silver light illuminate my soft fur.

"Wow." My Ixi friend was staring at me in admiration, leaving her candy cane untouched and forgotten. "I wish I could do that."

The moon disappeared behind a cloud, and I sat down again, the magic of the moment gone. But for a few minutes, the card room had been my beautiful dancefloor, and my loneliness hadn't mattered as I went through my steps one by one.

"I know." Cutie was smiling now, as if she'd solved a difficult puzzle. "Your name… it's Candy Moondance. What do you think of that?"

Candy Moondance. A new name, to help me let go of my past.

I nodded. I would make it mine.