AN: I know that I should update Vanilla Flavored Love but I'm sorry everyone, I just need to let all these angst out. School already started too and I am currently a third year college student so updates would be scarce but fear not! I would do my best to update twice a month or so~ :3
Inspired from Sarishinohara, Wonderful days (An Akashi-centric fancomic, do read it. It would surely break your heart) and all the feels that I get from Teikou Arc.
Disclaimer: Never owned and never will T_T
Warning: MxM, angst, drama. If you don't like yaoi I highly suggest that you stop reading this :)
Set in Sei-chan's errr... Akashi's POV.
When I was in Teikou, I often take pictures.
So that I won't forget the face that is on the other side of the finder...
Or these wonderful days, while wishing that I...
"-shi-kun" I blink my weary eyes open, slightly disturbed that my nap was interrupted. The gentle caress of the wind is enough to make me remember that I am currently at our school's rooftop
"Akashi-kun, wake up. Lunch break is almost over" Ah, now I remember, I asked Tetsuya to eat lunch together with me. Originally, I only plan to eat and spend the rest of the break with him but Tetsuya noticed how tired I looked which now leads to the current situation.
"Ah, thank you for letting me use your lap Tetsuya, I had a great nap" Lifting my head off from the warmth that is known to be Tetsuya's lap, I brushed the imaginary dust off my flawless uniform as I got ready to leave.
"Well then, see you Tetsuya" Without waiting for the still silent teal head to reply, I left the rooftop with the direction to my classroom in mind.
If only I had stayed for a minute later then I would have...
After that incident, I find myself spending more time with Tetsuya, eating lunch together has been a daily routine. Hanging out on weekends, giving me a bottled drink when practice ends and going home together whenever I am not that busy inevitably happen too.
It may be bizarre for us to be this close but I enjoy this relationship that we have now, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I wonder if that is how Tetsuya feels too...
*Click* *Flash*
My camera is on the verge of having it's memory full as I continue to take pictures.
Pictures of the team. Pictures of them having fun. Pictures of them enjoying the time we spend with each other. Pictures of happy and content friends.
The majority of the pictures contain a certain teal head, when and how did I manage to take them is only for me to know. I would not ever let them see these pictures also.
*Click* *Flash*
"Akashi-kun, I already asked you to stop taking my picture everytime." Tetsuya said as he calmly drink the sweet vanilla shake that he is so fond of.
"You are aware that I don't give favors Tetsuya" With a smirk directed to the slightly annoyed teal head, I took the drink that is currently in his possession and took a long sip.
"Akashi-kun!" Feigning innocence I asked what's wrong.
"My... Vanilla shake... You..." It is always fun to make fun of Tetsuya and having the privilege to see the different expression the teal head makes whenever can be seen as a gift from the gods, knowing how expressionless the phantom player looks most of the time.
*Click* *Flash*
"It's fine isn't it?" I took another sip.
"Akashi-kun!" I can't help but the let out a short laugh.
"It can't be helped right Tetsuya?" As I continue to laugh, Tetsuya stayed silent for a while, he seems to be pondering about something.
"Let's take a picture together then. I refuse to be the one who you see as your personal model." My eyes widened a bit as soon as those words left the teal head's mouth. Quickly composing myself, I got up to take the seat beside Tetsuya, my camera ready to take a picture anytime.
Tetsuya scooted a little closer, pressing his cheek towards mine as he maneuvered his hand to take the picture
*Click* *Flash*
I was surprised at how Tetsuya acted. If only I asked him why he did that then it wouldn't have been...
Summer passed and Daiki changed.
Tetsuya was devastated. I had him to rest and not play in the few unimportant matches.
I know how important Daiki is to you Tetsuya, probably more than I can ever be.
The camera that I am so fond of before is now hidden at the very back of my closet.
I was naive to think that we can always be together.
Daiki never came to practice anymore and Tetsuya became more depressed.
I am aware that the others are thinking of the same thing as I am.
We can never go back to the way that we were before.
Tetsuya, are you feeling alone? So much that you would rather die? But even so, even if I am not sure of what future we'll go through. I would still, I would always...
Basketball club withdrawal form:
I wish to withdraw from the club. The reason would be because I want to focus more on my studies.
I hope that you can understand.
Signed by: Kuroko Tetsuya, Class 3-C
Resignation letter.
Tetsuya handed this to me earlier and left without a word.
I guess he can't take it anymore, it would be too selfish of me to not let him go.
Farewell Tetsuya, I hope you are happy now.
I would still love you. I would always love you, I love you... Tetsuya.
I haven't seen Tetsuya ever since he quitted the club.
The bond that is one tightly knitted between us is slowly breaking.
No more eating at the rooftop together, no more weekend hangout, no more is the hand that always hold a bottled drink whenever practice ends, no more is the calming presence beside me when I go home.
I miss him. I miss you Tetsuya.
Graduation came and I caught a glimpse of the all too familiar mop of teal hair before it disappeared.
Anger filled my veins.
He wouldn't even dare to say goodbye before disappearing completely.
No longer is the Akashi Seijuurou who is calm and gentle. I have been broken too much to stay that way. You have broken me too much, Tetsuya.
Daiki attended Touou
Ryouta is in Kaijou
Shintarou in Shuutoku
Atsushi in Yosen
Tetsuya in Seirin
And I am in Rakuzan.
We have accepted that this is our fate, we really aren't meant to stay together.
We were friends and I am proud of that but I can't see you all as nothing more than my former teammates and enemies now.
I saw Tetsuya again. At the convenience shop that we always go to before, he looks more happy than he was when we were still in Teikou.
I looked at him as expressionless as he always is. All the fond memories, the taken pictures, the forgotten camera came back to me, it is as if like we meet just a month ago, we started being friends a week ago, I started to love him only a few days ago and he broke me when he handed the letter only yesterday.
"Tetsuya, it's good to see you again" I smirk but it is no longer the same one that I used to give him before. It does not held anything but pure sadistic glee.
"Akashi-kun..." Tetsuya, why are you looking so afraid? Is it really that repulsing to you to meet me again?
"Well I better get going; I'll see you again at the Winter cup. I suppose the next time we'll meet will be as enemies." I had pushed down every little feeling that I have for the phantom player, I would not let him break me again. Not when I finally recovered.
"Akashi-kun... I'm-" I left before Tetsuya can finish. I know that my abrupt leaving might hurt him but I don't care anymore.
Well, is it enjoyable to be the one who is pushed away Tetsuya?
We won the Winter cup, Seirin is no match for me after all.
I get to see how devastated Tetsuya is again but unlike before where I was too concerned, I acted the opposite way this time.
Just passed by him without saying a word.
He deserved much.
If only I looked back, I would have...
Loneliness. No matter how hard I try to ignore it, it keeps on finding a way to make itself known.
I may have everything that I ever wanted, I may have never tasted defeat, I may have all the respect that everyone can give me but...
I am lonely.
I am lonely without you, I guess I can't deny it any longer. Are you lonely too, Tetsuya?
I often took photos because I wish that I can preserve what we have for as long as we live.
But the long forgotten camera is probably broken by now along with all the memories in it.
I am on my way back to Kyoto when I spotted someone who I thought I would never see again.
"Akashi-kun!" Tetsuya? Why are you running towards me? Why are you so out of breath?
"Akashi-kun! Please listen!" A part of me doesn't want to bother with all of this because if I miss this train, I wouldn't be able to be at Kyoto today but a bigger part of me wants to stay and hear what my oh so precious, precious sixth man has to say.
"What is it Tetsuya? I don't have all day" The part who wants to listen won. It is Tetsuya after all.
"Akashi-kun..." Tetsuya grab a hold of my hand which startled me a little but I didn't let it show.
"Please remember that I will always be here for you, no matter how small my presence may seem... Akashi-kun, I... am always looking at you, for you, even if you don't notice it"
If I was a bit startled earlier, what Tetsuya said completely caught me off guard and for the very first time, I, Akashi Seijuurou felt my face getting a bit hot as a few drop of tears fell out of my eyes.
Tetsuya leaned closer until our foreheads touch. Now that my eyesight is not as blurry with tears as it was before, I can see that Tetsuya is crying too.
I genuinely smiled when Tetsuya whispered something.
"Akashi-kun, the time when we first ate lunch together and you fell asleep on my lap, don't you know how flustered I am. I can't speak because I'm afraid that I'll only say nonsense and that you can see how red my face is if I looked at you. Also, it made me really happy when we even got to be closer, spending time with you always makes me feel content. I may always looked annoyed everytime you take a picture of me but I am secretly ecstatic everytime you do and the reason why I want to take a picture of us together is because I want you to never forget about the bond that we have."
He didn't loved Daiki...
"It is you that I like from the start Akashi-kun"
He immediately regretted handing me the resignation letter that is why he disappeared quickly.
"I know that if I stayed longer, I might have ripped the letter myself. I don't want to be separated but seeing you all lose your enthusiasm to play hurts so much"
He would have approached me on our middle school graduation but he stopped before he can actually do it.
"I was scared, scared that you would actually hate me."
He was happy when I saw him at the convenience store because he was reminiscing the times that we spent together.
"And I was really surprised to see you there, I was on the verge of crying too. It hurts when you suddenly left though, I felt like my heart had been ripped out"
He cried when I passed by him and never looked back when we beat his team in the championship.
"I didn't cry because I was sad that we lost, I cried because I know that I can never have the chance to be with you again"
He was lonely too.
"I only want another chance to hold you once more Akashi-kun"
He feels the same way from the start.
"It has only been you Akashi-kun, always you."
For the first time in my life, I made a mistake.
All this time, Tetsuya feels the same way too. I regret hurting him and thinking that he ever deserved it.
I would stay with you for eternity. I don't care even if I have to die so long as you live.
A red head stared at the most recent picture that is on his album. The said picture shows himself and someone with teal hair and bottomless ice blue eyes holding hands as they smile in pure bliss.
Pale arms wrapped lightly around the red head's neck as the owner of the said arms opened their mouth to say something which made the red head lean his head back as he let out a genuine smile.
"Akashi-kun, our wonderful days will always continue."
-End-
I am thinking of writing another multi-chaptered fic where Tet-chan is a kindergarten teacher while the Kiseki is his obsessive students xD There has been quite a few stories like this here but I want to try to make my own I guess :3 Oh and a series of AkaKuro / AkaxFem!Kuro oneshots is nice too xD but I would still focus more on my Vanilla Flavored Love :3
What do you think guys? :)