Set after S7 sneak peek where Regina says goodbye to Henry.
Notes: Characters mentioned here and all mention of anything from the Once Upon A Time series do not belong to me. They belong to the minds of the original creators.
I might have (I very much did) added some prompts into this that I found on Tumblr (fuckyeahgoldenqueen) - this is for the ENTIRE story, not this chapter only. I apologize if they seem OOC, but after alot of research and rewatching, I tried my best. I'm new to fanfiction, somewhat. I'm not used to writing for other characters that aren't my own. I'm also not used to third person either, usually prefer first but I felt third would be the best for this. It's complete in all senses. I just thought I would publish a chapter or so at a time. However, I might make oneshots that are based off of this ficlet. Or referenced in this ficlet [?] (I already have two one-shots that are referenced in here written, just not uploaded yet).
This was written before S7, so anything ooc in that aspect is my bad as I didn't wait for the new season to air before writing. I have seen seasons 1-6, so all characters in here are based on the most recent or flashbacks given. I should have put it in better chapters, but some memories ran a little short, so I had to put mulitple in there sometimes. There will be smut, so I have the story set as M. And also little mature bits throughout. Memories are NOT in order.
I hope you enjoy!
The problem with happy endings isn't in the 'what comes next', its in every thread of a second after - when you're left wondering how to hold onto it. But if you hold on too tight, that thread that had barely even been there to begin with will snap like a vine beneath the weight of your own, unknowingly vice like, grasp. Sure, you could try to hold it delicately but the longer you try, the tighter your grip becomes before you completely loose sight of why you even thought you could hold on to it in the first place.
All of that described Regina Mills. After ridding herself of her darker half, The Evil Queen, she went on a both metaphorical and literal road of discovery. The Evil Queen and Regina Mills, to her astonishment, were one and the same. After splitting their hearts and leveling out the good with the bad; she had proven she accepted both sides of her. No matter how dark or light, she would forever contain both with the same determination she had to grasp the good in the first place. But that didn't mean she would keep her happy ending of finally being seen as something other than The Evil Queen. Because that isn't all someone needs to happy. Especially her.
She could feel the cold chill of a familiar feeling long since forgotten running through her like magic, like the first time she ever had a taste. The time when she played with the wand she wasn't supposed to play with in the first place. Only this time, it wasn't going to try to kill her. This time it dared spark at her fingertips and fizzle out like tapping jumper cables.
Lonely. Everyone's happy endings seemed to stretch on regardless of hers leaving another gaping hole in her heart. Henry was gone. Having left to find his own happy ending. Sure she knew it would happen sooner or later. After all, that is what children do. They grow up and seek adventure they can no longer find within the nurturing walls of their home. Hadn't she done just that? Forced out was more like it. Her Mother having been the start of it all, the one driving force for her to find some way out. Freedom and vengeance had begun her first call to her master, the one who taught her everything.
The Charmings were expecting their third child. Nothing could fill their little hearts more than family and of course make up for the missing time they had with Emma. The dwarfs were back to their usual work so they weren't really talking to her, not that she really cared that much about conversation about mines and fairy dust or whatever else they would bring up back at Grannys after a hard days work. Hook and Emma had decided to take a trip around the world on his ship, hell even The Evil Queen had her happy ending. One that really and truly should have been hers. Marrying Robin Hood.
Dusk had fallen among the graveyard, the trees casting shadows on the ground as Regina Mills made her way towards the Mills Mausoleum. A chill bit at her skin, prickling at her cheeks causing her to wrap her own arms around herself. Waving a wrist, the door opened and allowed her passage. She hadn't been inside of here in, truthfully, months. The dust stirring as the moonlight pushed past her and into the confines of the stone room. Looking at the tomb in the middle of the room now, she felt a pang of sadness build in her chest. So much had happened to her and those who orbited the Queen since the first curse. Sentimentality be damned as she waved another hand to make room for her to ascend the stars down into the one room she had come to see, candles spurring to life in her wake.
Her heels clicked against the vault floor, causing an echo and vibration to pulse through her, as she landed in the one room that housed everything she held dear from The Enchanted Forest. The very sound and reverberation of her steps resonating in her frame like that of a memory pushing to the surface. The floors of a castle in a moment long ago. Moments where she endured the heaviness in her heart after marrying someone she didn't love, the scar her mother left that turned into the size of two entire worlds or more. The revenge over who she had thought at the time had been her one true love, Daniel. She had held onto that simmering rage for so long, taken hundreds of lives, only to let bygones be bygones.
And look where it got her.
The once powerful, ever feared, confident queen was now alone and only had her magic to keep her company. Even that had faltered in the past few days. Spurts of magic dancing at the most random of times. Engulfing her when she found herself thinking on her life, what she could do now, what would be her future.
Pathetic. She chastised herself, mentally. Half of her hating the shell of a human she had become. The other half reveling in what she had accomplished anyway. The only good thing to come out of all of this was that she felt at home in her skin for a time, felt accepted by others around and her most of all had a spot in Henry's heart that being evil never could have gotten her. Her son, the only good thing she felt that she had truly ever done in her life.
She shook the sentimental thoughts from her mind once again and glanced at the contents of the room before her. Everything was as it had been. Nothing taken or moved ...except a black chest with gold trim sitting behind the trunk that held only a few pairs of her shoes. The ones she didn't seem fit to go with her formal attire. If the golden trim hadn't twinkled in the light she wouldn't have caught the unknown item in her vault, wouldn't have given it a second thought.
This little chest didn't look like anything she had ever obtained in her lifetime before or after the many curses.
Her footsteps echoed in her ears once again, that same daydream sound causing the vibration to move up her calves, past her hips and into that damned darkened whole in her heart. Bending to pull it to her lap, she seated herself onto the chilled stone to feel that daydream once more before popping the lid open. Bobbles. Trinkets. Items of memories long lost and pushed back. The contents inside having belonged to her despite the outer shell having never graced her palms before this moment.
She hadn't seen these in...
Hesitant fingers made their way along the insides of the chest. Magic surged through her and out of her fingertips in flickering sparks, something she didn't want to stop - couldn't stop in her emotional state. The items glistened, untouched by the magical spurts her body kept emitting. Her eyes and mind glazing over as muddled voices echoed in her head. Hers and
An eerie hum of a giggle echoed through the walls of the castle. Regina had tried, once again but failed, to speak the imps name. Always faltering, trying to put a sh where it didn't belong.
"Try again, dearie." It had become almost hilarious to the sorcerer. Almost being the key word. The young woman had known his name since the last time they spoke. He had told her. Very plainly. One would think after helping her with that pest, and let's face it annoyance, Cora - that she would have been a bit more pleasant. But Rumplestiltskin allowed her this one little slip, she would get it in a moment and he would try to be patient.
It hadn't been long since she had accepted back the imps spell book that he had given to Cora. The power having been enough for her to accept the fact that she absolutely loved it. The feeling, the fact that she wasn't weak and powerless once again - like she had been her entire life. Like her Mother had made her feel.
"Rumple..Rumple-schil-t-Rumple"
"You're trying-too-hard." His voice ended in a sing-song tone as he leaned against the edge of her vanity, large eyes on her. Maybe patience wasn't what this girl needed, maybe she needed assertion. "RumpleSTILTskin."
"Rumple."
"I really don't understand why you're having such a hard time with this, dearie." His voice was animated, bouncing off the stone walls as he spoke with slight hand gestures that somehow added to his allure. "I say it once, they say it, it's just this easy peasy encounter and we're done."
"Rumplesti"
"STILT" He almost yelled this time, causing her to jump.
She could feel the hairs on her neck standing up, desperately wanting to get it right this time she imagined the spelling of his name on the book and the way he pronounced it just seconds before. Focusing on how he had moved his lips. "Rumplestiltskin." Regina finally let out a breath she had no idea she had been holding.
"Now say it again." It would be a lie if he admitted he didn't like hearing his name on her lips, those soft and willing to be molded into any monster he saw fit...lips.
"Rumplestiltskin."
The imp let out an approving nnniiinng, before speaking animatedly again "bet-ter"
"You never told me when or where we would begin." Her voice was small, something she hated from the get go as soon as she had agreed to push her mother into that mirror. His however, it was different - Regina noted. Always spoken with such ... assertion, confidence, what was that french saying she had heard one of the ladies say at last nights festivity?
"What's the matter, dearie?" He let his long fingers toy with one another, wriggling in a fidget type of manner. Always animated, everything the imp did from the moment he appeared out of thin air in her bed chamber the first time til now had been so - exotic...unusual. No one, no human ever seemed to hold such a -
Her eyes were one on one with his now. Her dark hues meeting with his reptilian, almost animal like amber. The first time they met, she could have sworn he was a what but clearly he wasn't. Even this close to his inhuman eyes, his scaly skin and his long dark nail-like-claws, she couldn't say what she saw wasn't a human. Maybe one with magic consuming his entire essence, sure,that's what it looked like. But to her, as he had instilled into her brain anyway, magic is freedom. Therefore she thought Rumplestiltskin must be the free-est soul in all the land.
Being young and naive can always bring on such thoughts.
Two clicks of his fingers and she was shaken from her reverie. "Eager to learn so soon?" He adds not as enthusiastically as he had wanted to. The words had escaped his lips multiple times but she hadn't heard him, having been lost in her own thoughts. He swatted at the idea of prodding into that mind of hers to see exactly what it was that kept her so occupied.
Regina nods, she had never felt anything like magic before in her life, nothing that powerful or electrifying as it had been when she pushed her mother through that mirror. So of course she would want to learn something, anything more than what she had already done.
"I'm sorry?" He would make her voice her thoughts out loud, having put him through repeating himself multiple times. No one bests the best.
"I - yes." She states, standing her ground and trying to look sure of herself. There's one thing she really wants to be able to do, but didn't want to touch on the fact of bringing Daniel back from the dead so soon for fear of him not wanting to teach her further. In an instant her guard slips and she could almost swear Rumplestiltskin's eyes could see through her entire charade. But if he could, he hadn't let it slip. He just spun on his heels and headed towards the balcony doors, back to her.
He looked out of place in her bed chamber, she noted. The light colors of her bed, the bronze on the vanity, the white cushion of the settee draped in red cloth, everything screamed queen in a house for the Snow family, but nothing screamed Regina nor Rumpelstiltskin. Unless you countered maybe... her eyes wandered around for a second before stopping on a gold box that had been gifted to her by Daniel. That was it, that was something that seemed right. Gold.
She began fiddling with her fingertips now, trying to push a feeling of loneliness out of her mind. The castle she was living in now, having promised the king her hand in marriage, didn't make it any easier. She missed home. Or at least the moments she had enjoyed when her mother wasn't using magic to keep her boxed or complaint.
"Come."
"What?"
He didn't look back at her, he merely twitched his wrist, beckoning her forward. She did so, hesitantly, heels clicking on the stone floor and echoing off the walls.
She stalled beside him, her brown hues taking in the village that lingered out in the distance. Currently filled with people who adore Snow White and The King, but not her. Even the King doesn't send her loving gazes or put a hand out to grasp hers. He doesn't even stand with her, like this, looking out at the village below. She would take just that, a simple act of acknowledgement, anything to make her feel wanted. To say she longs for it though would be admitting defeat, defeat to those around her who seem bent on making her feel most unwelcome. And to be honest,she feared if she admitted one thing then the others would come tumbling from her lips in an instant. Her insecurity on show for the entire realm to laugh at.
Rumplestiltskin did not look in her direction then. Not that anyone would - still deep down in a way she wanted him to. His eyes set to the village and nothing else. So she didn't speak for fear of failing some unknown test that he might have concocted for her.
They stood like that for what seemed to be forever, watching a hush fall over the land as the people below slowly ended their days with the setting sun. Lamps and candles being extinguished, families making their way home where they believed themselves to be safe. Something Regina mulled over for a beat before staring up at the sky, fear of losing herself to despair as she had many nights over Daniel and what might have been.
The only sound jolting her from the sky was a light snipping to her right. Rumplestiltskin stood, a lock of her hair in between his long claws, twisting in the moonlight. A giggle echoed off the stone of her bedchamber as the hearth lit up, painting the walls with shadows and causing her eyes to focus on Rumpelstiltskin's golden flecks along the scales of his face. It could be considered beautiful. The way the light licked his features, dancing along his hair and the leather his form adorned.
"My hair."
"Yesss."
"Why my hair?"
"Why not your hair?"
"Because I'm not doing magic on myself;" her tone went from curious before to defensive now. She followed him, closer to the fire as heat nipped at her delicate skin, causing that strange feeling of fear to bubble up from her stomach and settle behind her ears. Heat mixing with the warmth the hearth had drenched the room in. And yet, the man or monster before her didn't have one bead of sweat at his temples. She closed her thin fingers around the edges of his jacket, nearest his shoulders. Thoughts of whispers she had heard about dark magic that could be done with locks of hair circling in her brain. She felt desperate now, fear taking her over completely. "Please, don't do magic on me a-att least nothing bad." She finally let slip the fear that had been building in her limbs and mind, her eyes searching his as he held the strand of hair out of her reach - close to the flames beside them.
"What's the matter, dearie?" The octave of his voice changed as he lowered his lips to her ear, her eyes on the lock of hair he had in his long claws. "Finding it hard to-" and as he disappeared in a plume of purple smoke, his voice echoed down inside of her, causing her frame to shake. "..trust me?"
As the hearth burned down to embers, the room slowly darkening, Regina glanced down at the object in her hands. Feathers, black as ink, clutched against her flushing skin. She had gripped harder than she thought, a few of the feathers that decorated his coat having come off in her hands as he left her there - alone.
Just as she had done then, Regina grasped the bundle of feathers between her fingers and brought them to her nose. Inhaling a scent that somehow still lingered. The smell of embers, pine, leather and magic. From the entire time they had been close during her apprenticeship, she couldn't ever remember him wearing feathers again. It soon became her thing. To add black feathers to a garment, in fact she still had a few of those in a trunk somewhere. But she wouldn't be fetching them out tonight as another item in the chest caught her eye.
Placing the feathers back, she moved to dance her fingertips lightly over something else. Something she hadn't seen in the longest time. A long red ribbon. Intricate silk with a hint of gold that lined the outsides in an elegant manner. She twisted it around her index finger, her mind feeling the haze of a memory creeping up her spine...she happily gave into it's intrusion as her stomach ignited with the warmth of the fire that had been burning in her chamber.