He holds up a hand, his face as broken as his voice when he says, "It's fine. Really. Believe me, Ever, you haven't said anything I haven't thought of myself a million times before. It's just hearing it from your lips...well, it was harder than I ever expected. So if it's okay with you, I think I'll head back to the Earth plane一I need some time to think. And while I'm at it, I'll gather those ingredients for the antidote. After all, if you're going to be stuck with me for the rest of eternity, at least the antidote will allow for certain… enjoyments that will make your life infinitely more bearable."
I stand there, feet rooted to the ground, unable to move as I stare at him, watching as he turns and walks away, making his way towards the part of Summerland that is filled vagrant fields, joy and laughter, all the while moving farther away from the place in which I stand, the part of Summerland where there is anything but joy and laughter, and a bountiful supply of rain and the looming darkness of the skies above一 a place in which Damen would do anything not to be, even if that means leaving me. And although his words stung, I can't help but yearn for nothing more than call his name, run after him, and find myself in his arms and express to him that for as long as the two of us live, I never wish for him to leave my side.
As though he can sense my thoughts, well, surely he can一 here in Summerland, thoughts and just about everything else are energy and vibrations that can be felt and heard by anyone in close enough proximity一he turns around abruptly, making his way back to me, face showing absolutely no indication of what he's thinking.
"Scratch that," he says, shoving his hands in his pockets and allowing his eyes to bore directly into mine. "I'm coming with you. I think I've mentioned this to you before, something along the lines of, for better or worse? I'm determined to stay by your side, see through that whatever happens on this journey of yours doesn't result in any harm on your part."
It's moments like this when I know that I don't deserve him. In no way am I even the slightest bit deserving of someone so caring, giving, and completely selfless when it comes to the one he loves. I've hurt him more times than one can count, yet he still stands by me, time and time again. Although I truly believe that discovering the Tree of Life and plucking it's ripe fruit of youth will solve our problems in a way that will not only relieve us of our karma and allow Damen and I to be together in the way we have craved for so long now, in no way did I ever expect Damen decide on venturing along with me, even if it's simply for my safety.
"Damen," I begin, my voice soft, practically begging for his eyes to meet mine, pleading that in his heart he finds a way to forgive me for all that I've ever said and have done to cause him any amount of displeasure and pain.
"Ever, please. There is no need to say another word. Don't pity me. What you've said is the truth, and although it was entirely unpleasant to hear from you, there is no need to deny itーno need to apologize." Damen finally looks up, his eyes not once straying from mine.
"We are going to need to manifest some items before we begin. Not all areas of Summerland provide for the powers we possess." he says, focused on manifesting the images in his mind, determined to allow his attention strictly on the journey only and as far away from any thought relevant to myself, aside from my safety.
I watch as he begins to manifest the necessities we need for the trip, beginning with his wardrobe as he trades his beaten down rubber flip flops in for sturdy black boots, moving forward to manifest a lightweight jacket followed by a flashlight, matches, rope, water, food, elixir, and a sleeping bag, along with a backpack to place it all in. I do the same, looking over at him to assure that we have everything we could possibly need. Damen confirms with a quick nod glancing at me ever so briefly, quick to look away.
I sigh, letting out a breath I failed to realize I had been holding in. I turn, my mouth opening, about to ask Damen where we should begin. I close my mouth when I come to the realization that no matter how much hoped to go through with this quest for the two of us, it is my destiny to fulfill; not Damen's. I am, however, more than grateful to have him by my side, serving as a reminder of what I will always, without doubt, put my very existence on the line for.
I step walk forward, turning ever so slightly as I motion for Damen to follow along behind me. "I'm thinking we should call on assistance from Summerland and put our trust in it's knowledge and allow it to lead us."
"As you wish," he says quietly, eyes fixated somewhere else.
I come to a quick halt, knowing that I must call on assistance from Summerland soon, before it's too late, and Damen and I end up in an area where all of the powers we've gained as immortals will no longer work in the absence of aid and the great knowledge of Summerland. Before I continue, I know there is something I must do. Something I can no longer hold off. I turn around, looking down, knowing there is something I must say before we embark on our一my一 journey to the Great Tree of Life.
"Damen, I know you've made the choice to come along with me, but I mean it when I say that you don't have to do this. You can make your way back to the Earth plane, and I'll continue on. I will always find a way to make it back to you."
I watch as Damen's eyes focus, coming back to this time. Then, he looks down at me, his gaze so warm, so loving as he says, "There is absolutely nothing you could do to make me wish for your absence." He sighs. "Although I'm quite disappointed, and honestly, well, rather shocked as to why you would purposely let all we've一you've一 worked so hard to obtain out of your grasp in a fraction of a second to, once again, go through with some wild idea and expectation of a lady whom, we don't even really know all too well, has planted in your head, I still love you. I always have, and I always will, and despite what I believe to be right in my mind, my heart has another course. And it just so happens, that other course is following the woman I have loved throughout each and every lifetime she lived in order to ensure that nothing should come remotely close to harming her."
It is with those words that I feel myself begin to breathe, and my heart began to beat again, my entire being warmed with the meaning and beauteous sound of all he has said.
It is with those words that I know一
This is it.
This is my chance.
My only chance.
After generations of being reincarnated, I will finally succeed in what Adelina, Evaline, Abigail, Chloe, Fleur, and Emala一my previous incarnations一 could not; fulfilling my destiny, and righting the karma that Damen has caused by his inability to let the soul move on, seizing and cutting off the only form of immortality that truly exists.
As I glance to the side, casting a look at the love of my many lifetimes, my soulmate, I know in my heart that never will I regret Damen's decison一 no matter how many obstacles karma has thrown our way because it. Neither should he.
And all for the simplest of reasons; our love is the symptom.
I close my eyes, and allow the words to flow from my mind and to the center of his.
Our love is the symptom, and I wouldn't have it any other way.