Author's note: Author's note: First off, I in no way, shape, or form, own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, I am not using this to make a profit, and lastly, I wrote this for fun, for you guys! By the way, I used censorship, since that's my writing style. Also, when I write something in italics that means that the person is thinking! Thank you for taking the time to read my fan fiction!
~*1dev13*~
-At Ryoko's Apartment... (Sunday, 10:30 PM)-
"Hee hee, let's see how Haruhi reacts to this! I can't believe I didn't think of an idea like this sooner! Hm...Now, where should I put it? Hm...Ah ha! Perfect! I'll just place it in Haruhi's little club room! She's bound to be curious to what's inside a box that's addressed to her! Tee hee..." Ryoko thought as she was leaving her apartment.
Once Ryoko arrived at school, she headed for the clubroom and placed the mysterious box on the table. "There. Now it's only a matter of time..." Ryoko said quietly.
-After school...(Monday, 3:00 PM)-
"Meet you in the clubroom Kyon!" Haruhi said happily as she darted out of the classroom.
"Sheesh, she doesn't even ask me if there's something important that I need to do, why do I need to be in her club? What's even the point of the SOS Brigade? Sigh, again, why am I in a club filled with the supernatural? Well, I'd better get going...Ugh..." Kyon thought as he slowly headed out the classroom door.
As Kyon was heading down the hallway, he thought, "How did my high school life turn out like this? What ever happened to my dreamlif-"
"Hey, Kyon! What's up?" Tanaguchi said cheerfully as he interrupted Kyon's thoughts.
"Nothing, just heading to the clubroo-"
"What do you guys even do there?"
"Tanaguchi, I don't even know what the heck we're supposed to be doing in that club."
"Well, I was wondering...Could I stop by and visit your club?"
"What the-? Why do you want to visit Haruhi's club, of all clubs? Well, I'll have to ask Haruhi, but what is the real reason that you want to stop by? I mean, it's not like we actually do anything exciting."
"Well, obviously to see Mikuru!"
Kyon slapped his face. "She's way out of your leagu-"
"I DON'T CARE!I just want to see her beautiful, smiling face!"
"Yeah right, I know what you want to see..."
Tanaguchi was getting antsy. "Well, are we going to go or not?"
"Yes, but contain yourself! I still have to ask Haruhi if it's okay, remember?"
"Yeah...yeah..." Tanaguchi sounded as though he was distracted. He was obviously thinking about Mikuru...
-At the clubroom... (3:10 PM)-
"KYON! YOU'RE LATE! REALLY LATE!" Haruhi shouted furiously.
"Yeah ye-" Kyon replied.
"EXPLAIN BEFORE I MAKE YOU GO RUNNING AROUND THE SCHOOL BUTT NAKED!" Haruhi shouted as though she was a volcano going to erupt.
"Yeah, I was getting there. I was wondering if a friend of mine could stop in and visi-"
"OoOoO! YAY! A VISITOR! I HOPE HE'S AN ALIEN OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" Haruhi shouted happily.
"Haruhi, you have no clue how immature you sounded just now...And another thing, he's normal compared to you and everyone else here. I doubt that. His name's Tanaguchi, I'm sure you've met him befor-"
Haruhi clenched her fists. "Oh great! I remember him. He was so boring!"
"Haruhi? Is something the matter?" Itsuki asked.
"What's bothering me is that Kyon hasn't BROUGHT HIM IN YET!" Haruhi roared.
"Sheesh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning...Well, I'd better make sure it's okay with the others first." Kyon thought.
Kyon began looking at the other club members. He looked at Mikuru..."Ah...Sweet Miss Asahina..." Mikuru looked confused, nervous, and scared. He turned to Itsuki, who then smiled. "What are you smiling at?" He glanced at Yuki...who showed no emotion at all. "She's too busy reading anyway." And lastly, he turned back to Haruhi, who appeared to be very angry and impatient. "What did I do this time?"
-Meanwhile, in the hallway... (3:20 PM)-
"Gosh! What's taking him so long? Please! I just need to see Mikuru! I need to see if those rumors are true that she wears a maid outfit while she's in the clubroom!" Tanaguchi thought.
-Back in the clubroom... (3:21 PM)-
"Uh...So is everyone okay with this?" Kyon asked.
Everyone nodded in reply-except for Haruhi.
"Where'd she go now?"
Yuki pointed towards the door. "There."
Haruhi just left the room, because apparently she was too impatient.
Those in the clubroom heard loud banging and yelling. "WHAT IS HARUHI DOING TO HIM?" Kyon thought.
When they reappeared in front of the door, Haruhi was dragging Tanaguchi in by the tie.
"HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR YOU- "Wait a second...it's one of my A-ranked girls!" Haruhi! I didn't know it was you who did that!" Tanaguchi shouted.
"I'll ask you one more time; are you an alien, time traveler, or an esper?" Haruhi asked, still holding Tanaguchi by the tie.
"I have no clue what you are talking about, but where's M-M-MIKURU! Tanaguchi exclaimed as he ran as fast as he could towards Mikuru.
After Tanaguchi had said that he wasn't anything supernatural, Haruhi seemed bored, so she sat down in her chair.
"OoOoO! What a pretty maid outfit!" Tanaguchi said happily.
"Um...Um..." Mikuru cried.
"By the way Mikuru, you're looking lovely toda-"
Kyon grabbed Tanaguchi by the neck, and yelled, "I said, CONTAIN YOURSELF!"
"OoOoO! Is someone jealous?"
Kyon took a quick glance at Mikuru, who had tears streaming down her face.
"T-too c-cute! N-no, I just think you're scaring her, that's all." Kyon stuttered.
Without any notice, Haruhi stood up. She then proceeded to slam her hands on the table and yell, "KYON! TANAGUCHI! STOP BEING SO IMMATURE!"
And that's when Haruhi had noticed that she had knocked something off the table. A box that had been wrapped up in nice sky blue wrapping paper, and had a pretty dark blue bow on the top. The present had been addressed to Haruhi!
"OoOoO! What's this?" Haruhi said happily.
Everyone-even Yuki-gathered around Haruhi. They were all curious as to what was in the box.
"Haruhi, you can't just open it, you don't know what's in it!" Kyon said.
"You're not supposed to know! That's the point of Christmas, duh! And see, it's addressed to me, so I can do whatever I'd like with it!"
"You lack common sense, what if there's a bomb in there?" Kyon thought.
Haruhi began to open the gift. "I guess Christmas came early this year!"
When she unwrapped it, she found a note.
"Hey! Look! A note! Hm...It says; 'Dear Haruhi, you're probably wondering exactly what this stone does. Well, I'm just going to say that you'll have to find out for yourself! So, enjoy!' Weird, no signature. Oh well, who cares? Alright, everyone! Let's touch it! It might give us something awesome!" Haruhi said cheerfully.
"WHAT? Yeah, like what?" Kyon replied.
"Hmph! Fine! If you guys don't do what I say, then all of you have to run around campus, during the day, while school is in session-NAKED!" Haruhi said harshly.
The room was so quiet; you could hear the clock ticking.
Everyone began staring at the beautiful dark blue stone. It looked like a bunch of crystals. Every once in a while, it would flash and change into a lighter blue, and then change back.
"Well, which is it?" Haruhi said impatiently.
"Fine! We'll touch the stupid stone!" Kyon shouted. Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Okay! Now, let's begin!" Haruhi said cheerfully.
Everyone-except Haruhi-had that look on there face that read 'I know something terrible is going to happen.'-even Yuki!
"Okay, on three! One...Two...Three!" Everyone obeyed Haruhi's command, and put their hands on the stone.
Everything went black.
-At Ryoko's Apartment... (3:25 PM)-
"YES! They have placed their hands on the stone! FINALLY! Now, let's see how Haruhi reacts when she's in someone else's body!" Ryoko exclaimed.
-Inside the clubroom 2 hours later...(5:30 PM)-
"Eh? What the-? Where am I? " Kyon thought as he got up from the floor.
"OUCH! Apparently, I must've hit the ground pretty hard; I have a throbbing headache! Wait a second...Why's my voice so much higher than usual? It must be because I hit my head, so that's effecting my hearing. I'd better head to the nurse's office and get some medicine."
"I wonder where everybody went." Kyon thought as he was leaving the room.
"OUCH! My back's killing me too!" Kyon rubbed his back.
"Eh? My uniform feels different!"
Kyon immediately looked down. He was wearing a skirt!
"WHAT THE H**L? WHY AM I WEARING A SKIRT?" Kyon shouted.
Kyon turned towards the school's trophy case, and saw Haruhi.
"Wha-What the h**l? Why-of all people-am I Haruhi?" Kyon thought as he darted into the bathroom.
Kyon looked at his reflection. He saw Haruhi. He splashed his face with water. Still Haruhi.
"WHAT THE H**L? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?" Kyon shouted.
"Haruhi? What are you doing in here?" Kunikida asked.
"Oh crap! I'm a girl standing in a guy's bathroom! Kyon thought.
Kyon sprinted out of the guy's bathroom, and into the girl's.
Kyon slapped his face. "Kyon. You're a girl. Haruhi Suzumiya-OUCH! WHY THE H**L DOES MY BACK HURT SO MUCH? Wait...Don't tell me...Please! Please don't tell me it's that!"
Kyon rushed into a stall. D***IT! Now what am I supposed to do? I guess I have to go through Haruhi's stuff...Gulp!
Kyon rushed to Haruhi's locker. "Phew, good thing Haruhi forgot to lock her locker! Hm...I think it's this bag."
Kyon unzipped the bag. "...Evidently."
"Whoever you are, DROP MY BAG RIGHT NOW!"
"Evidently that's Haruhi..." As Kyon looked up, he saw himself.
"WHO ARE YOU?" Haruhi roared.
Kyon tried to answer, but Haruhi interrupted.
"OH GREAT! YOU'RE GOING THROUGH MY PERSONAL BAG! YOU'RE SUCH A PERVERT, TANAGUCHI!"
"I AM NOT TANAGUCHI!"
"LIKE THAT'S BETTER?"
"So, WHO ARE YOU?"
"I'M KYON!"
Haruhi grabbed Kyon by the tie.
"EXPLAIN WHY YOU WERE GOING THROUGH MY BAG! NOW!"
"Well...Since I'm you, and you're me..."
"SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!" Haruhi seemed as though she was going to blow.
"Uh...I kind of...Well, need help with this..." Kyon was very nervous.
"UGH! FOLLOW ME!"
"Follow you, you're dragging me by the tie!" Kyon thought as he was being dragged into the girl's bathroom.
"Uh, Haruhi...Just be sure you're not seen!" Kyon said nervously.
"I DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW!" Haruhi chanted.
Kyon sighed. "Okay...Now, I know what you're thinking, normally in a situation like this, I would be going against Haruhi; but right now...I don't think it's the right time to do that..."
Haruhi pushed Kyon into the stall.
"Uh...Haruhi this is very uncomfortable-" Kyon said nervously.
"I DON'T CARE, KYON! IT'S MY BODY, AND IF MY SCHOOL UNIFORM GETS RUINED, I'LL KILL YOU!"
"Well, they're my hands. Couldn't you just buy a new one?" Kyon said without thinking.
"KYON! I CAN'T JUST GO BUY ANOTHER ONE! YOU ONLY GET TWO: ONE FOR WINTER, AND ONE FOR SUMMER! AND ANOTHER THING, THE SCHOOL PURCHASES THEM, SO I CAN'T JUST BUY ANOTHER ONE!"
"Haruhi! Be quieter, you don't want us to be seen or heard-"
"I-DON'T-CARE! NOW HOLD STILL!"
"Fine! OUCH! My head hurts!"
"STOP COMPLAINING KYON!"
"Okay...Apparently I'm getting the physical symptoms of Haruhi's monthly "present", and Haruhi's all emotional and crap. Sigh, I hope this doesn't last much longer. But seriously, did we really get stuck like this because we touched that stone? Who knows. I just wish I didn't have to turn into Haruhi today of all days."
"Uh...Haruhi, how much longer is this going to take?" Kyon asked nervously.
"I DON'T KNOW! IF YOU WERE TO STAY STILL OR READ THE DIRECTIONS, WE WOULD HAVE BEEN DONE BY NOW!"
-Meanwhile, out in the hallway... (5:41 PM)-
"What do you mean by directions?" Kyon asked.
Haruhi slapped her face. "Come on! You can't be that clueless can you?"
"Hello, I'm a GUY normally!"
"Apparently Haruhi and Kyon are in the girl's bathroom, Yuki. Do you want me to go in there, or should you?" Itsuki said.
"It doesn't really matter, since no one would be around the school at this hour, and if they are, then they would be in their clubrooms. Want me to go in first?" Yuki asked.
"Okay, Yuki."
-Back in the girl's bathroom... (5:42 PM)-
"Ugh! Kyon, can't you ask your sister or something?" Haruhi asked.
Kyon slapped his face. "Haruhi, there are two problems with your theory: One, I'm you right now, so I can't just go over to my house, and two, she's only ten, and you're FIFTEEN!" Kyon shouted.
"Then you could go ask your mom!"
"How about you-"
"Hello? It's me...Koizumi, and I'm with...Nagato. Uh...Just let us know when you two are done in there..." Itsuki said quietly.
"D***IT! They could hear us out in the hallway! Hey...Was that just me, or was that Yuki saying that she was Koizumi? Haruhi, are you almost done?" Kyon asked.
"Yes, but it took me forever to put it in-" Haruhi replied.
"SHUT UP, HARUHI! PEOPLE COULD HEAR US OUT IN THE HALLWAY THIS WHOLE TIME!"
"Sheesh, someone's a little crabby today."
"Why I ought to...Is this her bizarre way of flirting? Shut it! Now let's get out of here before someone else discovers us!" Kyon said as they walked out of the stall.
"Hi Koizumi! Hi Nagato!" Haruhi said happily as she saw Itsuki and Yuki.
"Watching Haruhi say that while she's in my body...It makes me feel like I'm an idiot!" Kyon thought.
"Good afternoon, Haruhi and Kyon!" Itsuki said.
"Wait...Why did Yuki-?" Haruhi asked.
"Miss Suzumiya, Yuki and I have switched bodies." Itsuki replied.
"So I was right after all!" Kyon thought.
"I am capable of explaining. Do you wish do know what happened?" Yuki asked.
Everyone nodded in agreement.
Yuki continued, "All four of us-along with Tanaguchi and Mikuru-woke up as another person-at different times. First was me, at 4:40, second was Itsuki at 4:50, third was Haruhi at 5:00, fourth was Mikuru at 5:10, fifth was Tanaguchi at 5:20, and lastly, you Kyon, at 5:30."
"Wait, do you mean us as in our bodies, or us, as in our minds?" Kyon asked.
Yuki continued, "I mean you as in your minds, not your bodies. If you want what time each body woke up, it would be in this order: Itsuki, Yuki, Kyon, Tanaguchi, Mikuru, and then Haruhi."
"Wait...That means...Mikuru and Tanaguchi are in each other's bodies!" Kyon shouted.
"Yes, but their current locations are unknown." Yuki said.
"We have to find them! Who knows what sick things Tanaguchi could be doing to Mikuru's body!" Kyon shouted.
"Is this a mystery for the SOS Brigade to solve?" Haruhi asked. "Again, seeing myself say something like that makes me feel looks so stupid!" Kyon thought.
"I guess you could call it a mystery, since we have to find Tanaguchi and Mikuru." Yuki stated.
"OoOoOo! YAY! WE'VE GOT OURSELVES A MYSTERY!" Haruhi said happily.
"Yeah, who knows what they're thinking right now...especially Tanaguchi... Hey, Yuki, Itsuki, how did you guys meet each other, anyway?" Kyon asked.
"Well, since I was the first one to wake up, I waited out in the hallway for someone else to wake up. About 10 minutes later, I had seen my body exit the clubroom. I soon realized that I was Itsuki. We were both very shocked. We then talked about how such a thing could happen for a little bit, and then we headed to the library for answers. We didn't find anything. So, we started heading back to the clubroom...but then we found you two. Every so often, I would tell Itsuki that someone-I mean...Um...Itsuki, Kyon, how about we go to the library?" Yuki suggested.
"What about me? Haruhi asked.
"We're going to go check the library again while you try and find Tanaguchi and Mikuru, okay?" Itsuki said.
"Okay, meet me back at the clubroom at 6:30, sharp!" Haruhi said as she was leaving the bathroom.
"Okay, good luck!" Itsuki replied.
"Now, let's head to the library." Yuki stated.
Kyon and Itsuki nodded in agreement.
-In a freshman hallway... (5:47 PM)-
"Jeez, what gives? How come I was all alone in the clubroom with Haruhi? I mean really...Hey, maybe that was a good thing...NO! UGH! TANAGUCHI, GET OUT OF YOUR TWISTED FANTASIES! Hm...but why was Haruhi passed out? Well, whatever. Since they apparently abandoned me, I might as well go home. Oh man! I really wanted to visit more with Mikuru..." Tanaguchi said sadly.
Tanaguchi gathered his things out of his locker. "MAN! I'm thirsty!"
Tanaguchi headed towards the water fountain, but when he bent down to get a drink...he noticed that beautiful, orange locks of hair had fallen in front of his eyes!
"What? Since when did I have orange hair? No, Tanaguchi, it's just your imagination...Just head home, and everything will be fine."
Tanaguchi started running down the hallway. "Hm...why does my chest feel all...heavy?"
He was just about to reach the door, when he passed a vending machine. He had seen his reflection, except, it wasn't him! "OH MY GOSH! I'M A CHICK! AND NOT JUST ANY CHICK, I'M MIKURU ASAHINA!"
Tanaguchi had a giant grin on his face, and proceeded to hug himself...
"I'M IN HEAVEN!" Tanaguchi kept smiling, and hugging himself, and then began shedding tears of joy. But soon, his happiness would end...for he had fainted. (As Kyon said, he didn't contain himself!)
-In the library...(5:50 PM)-
"So, what is it that you need to tell me?" Kyon said quietly.
"Yuki, you may continue, it's safe here." Itsuki confirmed.
"Every once in a while, someone would come out of the room, and I knew who it was, so it seems that even though Itsuki and I have switched bodies, we still have our powers." Yuki finished.
A silence fell over the library.
"Hm...Why do I feel so strange? I feel as though there's someone watching me. No, it's probably nothing." Itsuki thought.
"Hm...I wonder how that works...How can Yuki still use her powers if she's in Itsuki's body? WAIT! Can Itsuki still use his powers?" Kyon asked.
"That is unknown, since there is no closed space, but I think of this situation as very illogical." Yuki replied.
"Do you know who created the stone?" Kyon asked.
"Negative." Yuki replied.
"Not to interrupt, but now that I've thought about it for a while, I think I've actually heard of this stone before. Would it be all right if we could go back to the clubroom, so we can take a closer look at the stone? We could continue this discussion there." Itsuki asked.
"That's fine by me. How about you, Yuki?" Kyon asked.
Yuki nodded in agreement.
They were headed out the door when two people appeared out of no where. "STOP! What have you done to poor Mikuru?" Tsuruya asked while holding Mikuru in her arms.
-In the library... (5:55 PM)-
"So, what did you guys do to Mikuru this time? Look at her, I found her sprawled out in a hallway, PASSED OUT! Did you make her get another computer or something? I mean look at her...She's got tears in her eyes!" Tsuruya asked.
"That's typical for Asahina-san, but wait...How exactly did Tsuruya know about the computer incident, and that we were here in the library? Very odd..." Kyon thought.
"Well, any explanation?" Tsuruya said impatiently.
"We didn't do anything to her...WAIT! Nagato, Koizumi, that's Tanaguchi, not Mikuru!" Kyon shouted.
Yuki and Itsuki agreed.
"W-w-what the heck are you guys talking about? This is Mikuru!" Tsuruya said nervously.
"Hey...How's everybody doing? That was some party, huh guys?" Tanaguchi said sleepily.
"W-w-what's going on? What happened to Mikuru?" Tsuruya cried.
"Hey, a chick! SoOoOo...How are you doing this fine day Miss-"
Tsuruya slapped Tanaguchi.
"Okay...I see...B-but why?" Tsuruya stuttered.
"Allow me to explain the situation." Yuki replied.
The room got very quiet.
"We have seemed to switch bodies. I have switched with Itsuki, as you can see. Haruhi and Kyon have switched, and lastly, Tanaguchi and Mikuru have switched. The cause of this is unknown."
Tsuruya burst into laughter. "Y-you're meaning to tell me that Mikuru's Tanaguchi? Hahahahhahaha!"
"Yes." Yuki stated in a monotone voice.
"Hahahahahahahaha! Hey, can I help you guys find Mikuru then?" Tsuruya asked.
"Uh...Sure." Kyon said.
"Yipee!" Tsuruya seemed excited.
"You know, in a way, she reminds me of Haruhi..." Kyon thought.
"Well, we'd better get started. How about we split up, it'll be easier." Itsuki suggested.
"Good idea!" Tsuruya said.
"Tsuruya and Kyon, you two go together, and Yuki and I will be a group. Is that okay with you two?" Itsuki asked.
"Uh...Sure. Sounds good to me." Kyon replied.
"Remember we have to meet Miss Suzumiya at 6:30, sharp!" Itsuki added.
"Yep, see you guys later!" Kyon replied.
"Let's go Kyon-kun!" Tsuruya said with confidence.
"Kyon-kun? OH GREAT! EVERYONE'S CALLING ME THAT NOW! R-right!"
-In a junior hallway... (5:56 PM)-
"I guess I'd better change out of my maid outfit, since I don't know where the others went." Mikuru thought.
Mikuru started to head back to the clubroom. "Hm...Something feels different...Why do I feel so much lighter?"
When she arrived, she began to take of the dreaded maid outfit. (Haruhi always forces Mikuru to wear it whenever she's in the clubroom.) But Mikuru realized...
"Hey, this isn't my maid outfit! It's...A SCHOOL UNIFORM? B-but...I don't remember changing! Wait a minute! It's a GUY'S UNIFORM! Waah!"
Mikuru went into shock.
"H-how is the p-possible? AND WHY'S MY VOICE SO DEEP?"
Mikuru rushed to the bathroom.
"I-I-I'm T-T-Tanaguchi?" Mikuru said softly.
"WaAaH..."
Mikuru collapsed.
-In the gym... (6:00 PM)-
"Alright. This seems like a promising place to find Mikuru, don't you think Tsuruya?" Kyon asked.
"No." Tsuruya replied.
"What? This is the only place we haven't looked yet! Uh...Where do you think she would be then?"
"The girl's bathroom."
"We've been there already! Alright then...We'll check there once more."
"Yes."
"Why is she beginning to sound like Yuki all the sudden? Everything alright, Tsuruya? You're not acting like your usual self."
"No."
"Something's wrong. Definitely wrong. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"
"No."
"I've got to get it out of her... Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"UGH! TSURUYA! I'M SORRY, BUT I KNOW SOMETHING IS DEFINATELY WRONG, PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IT IS!"
"I didn't want to tell you this...but...I'm a slider."
"A WHAT? And what is that?"
"In a sense, I'm kind of a combination of an esper and an alien...Itsuki and Yuki...in other words."
"...So that's how you knew about the computer incident."
"Exactly."
"But how come you're talking like Yuki right now...and not like yourself?"
"Because, I sense great danger approaching, and I can't even figure out what it is."
"Oh. This is just great, another supernatural...Will it ever end?"
"Something bad is going to happen at 6:30 PM, tonight."
"But that's when Haruhi wants us back at the clubroom! Does it involve Haruhi? Something bad ALWAYS happens when SHE'S around...
"That is unknown."
"Wait! If you have esper powers, that means you could defeat the danger?"
"Negative. There needs to be a closed space for that to occur."
"Right. Does that someone has to upset Haruhi?"
"That someone is you, Kyon."
"Me? Why the h**l does it always have to be me? I understand."
"Let's go find Mikuru, we might need her for the job."
"Right."
-In the clubroom... (6:05 PM)-
"Something bad is going to occur at 6:30 PM." Yuki said in her usual monotone voice.
"Do you know what's going to happen?" Itsuki asked.
"No."
"Hm...Alright, let's take a look at that stone."
"Agreed."
Yuki and Itsuki peered into the dark blue stone.
"Just as I thought! It's the 'Suitchi Stone'!" Itsuki said.
"I do not know about this object." Yuki replied.
"As you can guess from the name, 'Suitchi' means switch. So, you could put that together."
"I see."
"This stone is only created when...Someone who has disappeared...Seeks revenge!"
"Ryoko Asakura's data was terminated when I was protecting Kyon."
"It's Ryoko's Revenge!"
"Indeed."
"But, for her to place this on the table...She must be hidden somewhere!"
"It is possible that she was recreated by the Data Overmind."
"I agree with you on that."
"When will we be able to switch back to our own bodies?"
"As soon as the threat is destroyed."
"Ryoko must be the threat. We will need all the supernatural powers that we have. Including yours, Itsuki."
"But, there is no closed space!"
"Yes, but we can fix that."
"Kyon?"
"Kyon."
"We need everyone to gather here immediately. I have my cell phone. I'll text everyone."
"Good. We need Kyon and Haruhi to go to another place though."
"How about the gym?"
"That works."
-In a freshman hallway... (6:10 PM)-
Tanaguchi left the library when everyone else departed. He passed by the same vending machine...and fainted once again.
Haruhi was strolling through the halls, looking for Tanaguchi and Mikuru.
"Mikuru! Tanaguchi!" Haruhi yelled.
"Hm...Where could they be?" Haruhi thought while passing a vending machine.
She soon realized that she stepped on something! No, it was someone!
"OH MY GOSH! I AM SO SOR-!"
Haruhi realized that it was Mikuru.
"OH NO! LOOK WHERE I STEPPED ON YOU! NOW WHAT WILL THE SOS BRIGADE DO WITHOUT A TEAM MASCOT?" Haruhi shouted with "Mikuru" in her lap.
Haruhi has forgotten that Tanaguchi and Mikuru switched bodies.
Tanaguchi started to wake up.
"Huh? Where am I?" Tanaguchi said half-asleep.
"YES! YES! YOU'RE OKAY MIKURU!" Haruhi cried while hugging "Mikuru".
"She never hugged me when we went out for those five minutes back in middle school...I'll go along with her, saying that I'm Mikuru!" Tanaguchi thought.
"Alright! Mikuru, let's go find Tanaguchi now!"
"I've got to act like Mikuru... Y-yes!"
-In a junior hallway... (6:13 PM)-
"Mikuru!" Kyon shouted.
"Kyon, you're phone is vibrating." Tsuruya said.
"Eh? It's from Itsuki!"
"What does it say?"
"'As soon as you find Miss Asahina, return her and Tsuruya to the clubroom. Immediately. You need to go to the gym. Make Haruhi upset, or angry. We need a closed space to appear, as soon as possible. From: Itsuki.'"
"That means that they know about the stone, and what's going to happen."
Kyon began replying to the text.
"What about Haruhi? What if she sees your powers, and Yuki's?"
Itsuki replied.
"We can take care of that after you upset her.'"
Kyon replied to Itsuki.
"Okay."
"We need to find Miss Asahina...NOW!"
"She is in the girl's restroom, in the junior hallway."
"Let's go!"
-In the girl's bathroom... (6:15 PM)-
"All right! Mikuru! Put on this new outfit!" Haruhi said cheerfully.
Haruhi handed "Mikuru" a cat outfit.
"A-A cat outfit? If only I could see Mikuru try this on herself...Not me!" Tanaguchi replied.
"Come on, Mikuru! Either you put it on yourself, or I have to put it on for you!"
"That would be interesting...NO! CURSE MY SICK TWISTED FANTASIES! Um...I'll put it on myself..."
"TOO LATE!"
"WAHHHHHHHHH! ALL RIGHT! I'M TANAGUCHI, REMEMBER?"
"WHAT?"
"Oh crap! Uh, I think we should-"
Haruhi didn't care. She had already begun to put the cat outfit on Tanaguchi.
"OoOoO! SO CUTE!" Haruhi shouted with glee.
"Uh, Haruhi...We should go back to the clubroom. If Kyon sees me like this...!" Tanaguchi replied.
"All right! There we'll have a photo shoot!"
"Don't you want that with the real Mikuru?"
"You're right. It would be less fun with you!"
"Thanks... Let's head back."
"I'm still going to take a couple of pictures!"
"Uh...Okay?"
"YAY!"
"How can Kyon stand this girl? Seriously!"
-In the girl's (junior hallway) bathroom... (6:17 PM)-
"Mikuru?" Kyon yelled into the bathroom.
"Tsuruya...Please go in there and get her."
"Okay."
Tsuruya went in to get Mikuru, and she screamed.
"KYON! SHE'S UNCONCIOUS!"
"Coming!"
"Help me carry her; I can't lift Tanaguchi's body."
"Okay. Let's get her to the clubroom."
"And then, you go get Haruhi."
"What should I do to upset her?"
"Hm...That's not an easy question."
"Yeah..."
"What were you doing in the bathroom with her earlier, anyway?"
"Oh great...I can see where she's going. Well, Haruhi's...Yeah...I'm trying to forget that..."
"Oh. I catch your drift. Why do males hate talking about mens-"
"WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HARUHI ANGRY?"
"That's simple. If she was angry earlier about the possibility of you ruining her uniform, just ruin it!"
"Um...I don't think I should do that..."
"Would you rather die?"
"No..."
"Then good. Do what I said. It will make her want to kill you!"
"If I'm going to die anyway, it's almost better to die because of Ryoko... Can I tear it to shreads, or something like that?"
"That'd be perfect."
"Okay..."
Kyon began to tear up the uniform.
"I'm dead, DEAD!"
"Good job! Now go to the gym!"
"Don't you need help carrying her?"
"No, I just needed help lifting her up."
"Oh. Sliders are definitely something else..."
"GET GOING!"
"Okay! Wish me luck!"
-In the clubroom... (6:19 PM)-
"Miss Suzumiya, you should go to the gym." Itsuki suggested.
"Why?" Haruhi asked.
"Kyon wants to tell you something."
"Could it be? No...That's not like him... Okay, I will as soon as I'm done taking pictures of-"
"No, he wants you there now!"
"Okay..."
As Haruhi was walking to the gym, she kept thinking, "Does Kyon really...love me?"
Haruhi finally arrived.
"Hi, Haruhi." Kyon said.
"KYON! YOU RUINED MY UNIFORM! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
"This better work, Koizumi. Other words, I'm done for!"
Kyon ran as fast as he could to the guy's bathroom.
"KYON!"
He locked the door, and hid in a stall.
Kyon could hear Haruhi cursing outside the door. He figured that she'd get to impatient, and leave soon.
"I should be safe here. Koizumi, Nagato, Tsuruya...Good luck."
-In the clubroom... (6:22 PM)-
"There is now a closed space...Since Tanaguchi is not here." Itsuki said.
"Right, since he's a normal human." Yuki and Tsuruya replied.
"In eight minutes, Ryoko will be here." Yuki added.
"So, Mikuru is still unconscious, eh?" Tsuruya asked.
"It appears so." Itsuki replied.
"Haruhi is in the girl's bathroom, crying." Tsuruya said.
"I think we're safe from her seeing us, then." Itsuki replied.
"Kyon is in the boy's bathroom, probably protecting himself from Haruhi." Tsuruya added.
"Let's head outside. By then, Ryoko will begin her revenge." Yuki suggested.
"Agreed." Itsuki and Tsuruya replied.
-Outside... (6:29 PM)-
"Only a minute until she arrives." Yuki said.
"Yes, are you all ready?" Itsuki asked.
Tsuruya and Yuki nodded in agreement.
-In the boy's bathroom... (6:29 PM)-
Kyon clenched his fists.
"If I have to kiss Haruhi again to get us out of this mess...I'm going to kill Koizumi! It's like he's setting me up for this!"
-Outside... (6:30 PM)-
A sudden flash of light appeared.
"Hello, everyone! Long time no see...Tee hee!" Ryoko giggled.
Ryoko began transforming objects into spears, and thrusted them at Tsuruya, Itsuki, and Yuki.
Yuki put up a shield.
"Itsuki." Yuki said.
"Right." He replied.
Itsuki fired a crimson ball at Ryoko.
Ryoko dodged out of the way.
"Ha! Ha! This is too easy!" Ryoko chanted.
Ryoko took out her knife.
"Alright, since you don't like the spears...I'll make it even MORE personal!" Ryoko shouted.
"She's fast with that knife, be careful." Yuki said.
"We need a distraction...I guess I'll be that... HEY! RYOKO!" Itsuki shouted.
"Like that's going to distract me?" Ryoko replied.
Ryoko charged towards Yuki.
"This is for getting in my way!"
Tsuruya quickly moved ahead of Yuki.
It hit Tsuruya in the stomach!
"Y-Yu!" Tsuruya tried to say.
Tsuruya began coughing.
"Heh...That was stupid of her! Now, for my actual target-YOU!" Ryoko said.
"Itsuki! Stay with Tsuruya!" Yuki shouted.
"No! You can't-" Itsuki replied.
"I must! Protect her!"
"I shall!"
"Tee hee...Protecting one who is going to die...How pathetic!" Ryoko said.
"I don't know why the Data Overmind recreated you. You disobeyed orders!" Yuki replied.
"I have no more patience...Now DIE!"
Claws appeared on Ryoko. She summoned several spears, and launched them at Yuki.
Yuki put up another shield, but a couple hit her!
"You know, we should switch roles; you should be my backup!" Ryoko said in a snotty matter.
"Never." Yuki replied.
"And why's that?"
Out of nowhere, two crimson balls appeared.
A direct hit!
Ryoko fell to the ground!
"Heh...I'm not done yet!" Ryoko said weakly.
"Now you are." Yuki replied.
"No, I have not yet begun to fight!"
"Hm...Then how about this: Commence termination of data."
"NO! NOT THIS AGAIN!"
"And you said I should be your backup. If I was human, that would make me laugh!"
"P-Please! I won't kill you, or Kyon, or anyone!"
"You already had your chance. You've injured Tsuruya, an acquaintance of mine. Farwell, forever, Ryoko. Itsuki, if you would please."
"WHAT? I'D RATHER DISAPPEAR! PLEASE!"
"You already had your chance. Farwell-"
Ryoko stabbed Yuki with her knife.
"KAH!"
Yuki began coughing up blood.
"Direct hit. Now, commence termination of dat-"
Four crimson balls were fired at Ryoko.
Ryoko fell to the ground, unconscious.
"C-Commence termination of d-data..." Yuki stuttered.
Ryoko's body turned white, and started to disappear slowly.
"T-Tsu-ra-raya...I-It-Suki..." Yuki stuttered.
Yuki and Tsuruya then fainted.
"Kyon needs to open the closed space-fast! I have to call him!"
-In the boy's bathroom... (6:50 PM)-
"Eh? My phone's ringing!" Kyon said.
Kyon looked at his phone.
"Oh great! It's from Koizumi. Hello?"
"Kyon, we need you to do this as soon as possible!" Itsuki exclaimed.
"...And what is this? I SWEAR KOIZUMI, IF YOU MAKE ME KISS HARUHI AGAIN!"
"We need you to make the closed space disappear."
"...And how am I supposed to do that?"
"The same thing you did last time."
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU! O-okay...Where is she?"
"In the girl's bathroom."
"...Which one?"
"The freshman one, of course."
"I don't like your attitude! Okay...I will."
"Be quick, Tsuruya and Yuki are injured!"
"R-Right!"
-In the girl's bathroom... (6:53 PM)-
"H-Haruhi?" Kyon said nervously.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Haruhi cried.
"Just come out of there, and you'll see!"
Haruhi opened the door.
"Here goes nothing!"
Kyon landed a kiss on Haruhi's lips.
"K-Kyon."
"Yes?"
Haruhi slapped Kyon's face.
"You idiot!"
"Yes, but you love me."
Tears welled in Haruhi's eyes.
"T-That is not true, you idiot!"
"I'm sure that's what you're really thinking. Let's head back to the clubroom."
Haruhi turned her head away from Kyon.
"Idiot."
As they were walking down the hallway, Kyon received a text message that read:
"'Good job, Kyon! I'm bringing Yuki and Tsuruya back to the clubroom. Everyone else should be there. Once everyone is there, we need to all touch the 'Suitchi Stone'!'"
"Let's go, Haruhi!" Kyon said.
"Okay." Haruhi replied.
"Aren't you excited about changing back?"
"Yes, Yes I am."
"I think she's got some sort of trick up her sleeve. When she smiles, something bad is bound to happen..."
-In the clubroom... (6:58 PM)-
"Alright! Everyone's back now!" Itsuki announced.
"Tsuruya? Yuki? You guys okay now?" Kyon asked.
"Yep, we just needed to get out of the cl-" Tsuruya started to say.
"YUKI AND TSURUYA? YOU TWO WERE IN THE CLOSET WITH ITSUKI THIS WHOLE TIME? EWWWWWW!" Haruhi yelled.
"Yep. They were trying on...yukatas!" Itsuki replied.
"AND YOU WERE WATCHING THEM, ITSUKI?" Haruhi asked.
"Itsuki, that's pretty perverted!" Tanaguchi said.
Nobody was aware that Tanaguchi had woken up.
"Y-Yeah...I guess." Itsuki said nervously.
"I would have never guessed that about you, Itsuki!" Haruhi added.
"Teatime...WAAH! I guess I fell asleep..." Mikuru said sleepily.
"Good, everyone's awake, and here." Itsuki announced.
"Are you the announcer, or something?" Kyon thought.
"Alright! On three, everyone touch the stone!" Itsuki announced.
"Right!" Everyone happily said.
"One...Two...Three!"
Everything went black...Again.
-In the clubroom... (7:28 PM)-
Kyon was the last to wake up...Again.
"Ugh...My head..."
Kyon heard a camera shutter, following by a flash.
"MUAHAHAHA! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR RIPPING UP MY UNIFORM!" Haruhi shouted.
Kyon looked down.
He had been wearing something a guy should never wear...A maid outfit!
"WHAT THE H**L? WHY DID YOU PUT A MAID OUTFIT ON ME? AND WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY UNIFORM?" Kyon replied.
"I already told you! You ruined my uniform, so I gave you that to wear!"
"GIVE MY CLOTHES BACK!"
"Nope, this is only fair!"
Haruhi began to take several pictures.
"MUAHAHA! MY REVENGE!" Haruhi shouted.
"Haruhi's Revenge, eh? If you post these all over campus-" Kyon said enraged.
"OoOoO! Good idea, Kyon!"
-At Kyon's House... (8:20 PM)-
"Good thing I managed to make it in without being seen by my sister..." Kyon thought.
"Kyon-kun!" Kyon's sister barged in.
She began to laugh uncontrollably.
"A-And why are you wearing that, Kyon-kun?" She asked.
"If you tell anyone-"
"I won't!"
"Haruhi forced me to wear it."
"Oh."
She ran into her room and laughed for what seemed like 10 minutes straight.
"I'm going to die tomorrow at school, she's going to post them all over, I just know it!" Kyon thought as he was drifting to sleep.
-At North High School... (Tuesday, 9:00 AM)-
"HEY KYON! THESE ARE SOME HOT PICTURES OF YOU!" Tanaguchi announced.
Everyone in the entire school saw those pictures.
Kyon clenched his fists.
"Haruhi, not only have you forced me to wear my pajamas to school, but you actually posted those pictures all over campus...Prepare for Kyon's Revenge!"