Another crack fic from Mabel. wh00. :D
I don't own the Akatsuki.
Or "Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Aguilera.
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"Would someone like to explain to me how the hell I ended up here?" Sasori sat glumly at a small table in a bar. A Karaoke bar, none the less.
"Tobi wanted to come here, yeah. Said we all needed some fun." Deidara couldn't see what was so fun about karaoke. As far as he was concerned, it was something for lonely, drunk people. Not S-ranked criminals.
The only other two there were with them were Kisame and Itachi. Kakuzu and Hidan were on a mission, and, well, people just didn't take kindly to venus flytraps with split personalities. So Tobi had dragged them all out here. "I'd rather be home with my beautiful puppets..."
Suddenly, the lights dimmed and a man stepped up to the microphone. "Sup everyone! Welcome to Karaoke night! I'm sure you're all mad excited!" Everyone cheered. That is, everyone except for Itachi, Deidara, and Sasori. The man continued. "Now, we have our first singer. Everyone, welcome...Tobi...?" The Akatsuki members froze. Tobi? "What the hell is that idiot doing, yeah?"
A boy appeared on stage. He was wearing an orange swirly mask, and the Akatsuki cloak. "He's gonna get us all recgonized sooner or later..." Tobi walked up the microphone. "Hi everyone! It's me, Tobi! Hi Sasori-san! I see youuu!" He waved, and half the audience turned to Sasori. He replied by sending Tobi and the audience death glares. "Anyway, tonight Tobi is singing a song dedicated to his favorite person in the world! Deidara-senpai! I hope you like it, Deidara-senpaiii!"
Deidara turned about three shades of red, and sunk as low as possible into his seat. "Idiot, yeah..." The music started. It blared, and Tobi appeared by the microphone, his Akatuski cloak stripped from his body. In it's place was...a bright, sparkly, pink minidress. Deidara smacked his hand to his forehead. "We'd better get as drunk as possible, yeah..." And then Tobi started his song.
(Do
your thang honey) I could feel it from the start (Do your thang honey)
Couldn't
stand to be apart
Something 'bout ya caught my eye
Something
moved me deep inside
Don't know what ya did boy, but you had
it
And I've been hooked ever since
Told my mother, my brother,
my sister, and my friends
Told the others, my lovers, both past
and present tense
That every time I see you everything starts
making sense
Tobi was up on stage, doing the most...ridiculous dance moves Deidara had ever seen. Someone kill me now, yeah...Lightning bolt, stampede of fangirls, anything, yeah...Sasori, seeing his partner's obvious discomfort, smirked. "Well Deidara, looks like you've got a secret admierer." Deidara glared. "Shut it, puppet boy, yeah."
Ain't
no other man can stand up next to you Never thought I'd be alright (no, no no)
Ain't no other man on the
planet does what you do
You're the kinda guy a girl finds in a
blue moon
You got soul, you got class, you got style, you're bad
ass
Ain't no other man, it's true
Ain't no other man but
you
'Til you came
and changed my life (yeah, yeah, yeah)
What was cloudy now is
clear, yeah, yeah
You're the light that I needed
You got what I
want boy, and I want it
So keep on giving it up
So tell your
mother, your brother, your sister, and your friends
Tell the
others, your lovers, better not be present tense (mhm)
'Cause I
want everyone to know that you are mine and no one elses
Whoa, oh,
oh
By now, Tobi had become famous. Karaoke bar famous, anyway. And he was loving it. Maybe Senpai will love me now! Poor Tobi. So clueless...
Break
it down now! Ain't no other, ain't, ain't no other,
other You
are there when I'm a mess
Ain't no other, ain't, ain't no other lover
Ain't no
other, I, I, I need no other
Ain't no other man but you, oh
Talk me down from every ledge
Give me
strength, boy, you're the best
You're the only one who's ever
passed every test
Ain't
no other man can stand up next to you And now I'm telling you
Ain't no other man on the
planet does what you do
You're the kinda guy a girl finds in a
blue moon
You got soul, you got class, you got style, you're bad
ass
Ain't no other man, it's true
Ain't no other man but
you
So, ain't no other man but
you
Oh, yeah
"He's...finally finshed...yeah." By this time, Deidara had already downed a few drinks, and was starting to get a little...fuzzy. Tobi took his bows, and put his cloak back on. He made his way down to his seat, and smiled at Deidara. "Senpaiiii, did you like it? Am I a good boy?!" Deidara sighed. "Tobi. Remind you to break your neck when we get home, kay?" Tobi nodded. "Okay Senpai!"
The man came back up again. "Well, that was one of the most interesting performances ever. Nowww, who wants to be brave and come up?" Deidara smirked. Payback, Danna. "Sasori-danna wants to go, yeah! He's been dying to, yeah!" Sasori whipped his head. "Deidara, what the hell?" Before he could say anything else, he was whisked on stage. "Fuck...What the hell...I don't know any good songs." The man nodded. "Alright then. We'll pick a random one for ya, then."
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o.o;
Um. Don't hurt me?