Summary: Goodbye Haruko... Hello Rukawa...
Warning: Shounen-ai, Angst
Author's Notes: It's been a long time since I ever wrote a fanfiction. Hope you'll forgive me for my "rustyness"...
Disclaimer: I don't own Slam Dunk... infact, i don't think i own anything...
"..." dialouge
'...' thought
x.:-Wind-:.x
Sakuragi's POV-
"I love you..."
Damn it! Is that so hard to say! Maybe it's not so hard... maybe it's just too hard. Those words I've kept unspoken for too long... just too long. And everyday, it gets harder and harder to get through this lonely life.
Blinded and victimized by love, hoping that one day, she'll love me... my one and only, Haruko.
But who am I kidding! She doesn't even love! So how the hell can she actually get to even like me! I can't believe I've been calling her mine, when all along, she never really was... and never will be.
I've been waiting for too long, and it's driving me crazy. I won't be able to live another day sane if this goes on. I need to put an end to this, to this foolish fantasy!
But wait Sakuragi... I need to keep my hopes up! Am I just going to throw away all my efforts like that! Everything I've done... for her?
Yet, if I keep fighting, the more I'll hurt. It's agonizing to know that person you love, with all your heart, life and soul, is just beside you... but you can never have her. And it just hurts too much... too much that I can't bear the pain anymore.
I'm just struggling to stay alive... until I hear your voice saying that you love me. I'm going to loose my mind... Someone tell me why I chose this life! This superficial lie... this constant compromise... this endless sacrifice... for her.
The truth is, I've been waisting time... I've been isolated from everyone else. And the emptyness inside, is growing deeper and deeper... and I'm sinking to the bottom of lonelyness.
I can't blame anyone for what I'm going through right now. This pain is self-inflicted anyway... I was just too blind to see that her heart was captivated by someone else. And that someone wasn't me... It never was and never will...
It was Rukawa.
Yes, Rukawa! The coldest and most arrogant person I have ever met! And of all the people she had to fall inlove with, it had to be him! I despise him! I resent his whole being!
And because of being infatuated with her, I've learned to hate him so much... yet he has done nothing wrong. I've truly lost my sanity! Going to the extent of actually, actually saying that the living block of ice has done nothing wrong! Oh well, that's it for me... I've lost it...
I'll have to let her go... She isn't mine anyway...
Goodbye, Haruko... I love you...
Wait, I loved you...
I glance at you
Maybe for one last time
Though I know it could kill me
My feelings reach the breaking point
Yet there's nothing I can do
Shattered dreams kept in a broken bottle
A knife piercing through my heart
The sadness embraces me
When I long for your arms to hold me
The wind has blown everyone away
But has left the memories behind
The shattered dreams still kept
in the broken bottle
My feelings just spinning in the air
So near yet so far
A barrier between us that shuns you from me
The farther the cruel distance sets us apart
The more my heart feels the unbearable pain
And so
I glance at you
For one last time
And deep inside it kills me
My feelings reach the breaking point
Yet there's nothing I can do
I let you slip through my hands
Like sand that the wind blows away
The memories of you will stay with me
But I've learned to let you go...
end of POV-
With the last tears that rolled down his cheeks, he laid his head face-down on the tear-stained pillow... Tomorrow's going to be a new day and a new beginning... or will the past continue to dwell in him?...
TBC...
Why is it shounen-ai? You'll find out later... Thanks for reading, reviews/flames please! Hmmm... Sakuragi seems to be overreacting on this one... my fault!