I am sitting nearby the window at the coffee shop, my usual spot. As always, I'm observing the people around me. There's Carlos, the barista of the shop. We've been good friends ever since I started going to this coffe shop since I'm a usual customer here. He was one of those coffee people who makes sure that your coffee is what you ordered and that the taste is what you expected. THen, there are all these college students who's either just stopping by for a quick cup of coffee, or having a coffee date, or just killing time. Like what I'm doing. This coffee shop isn't one of those busy places like Starbucks. That's why I like it here. It's so cozy. And the people I see here are also familiar faces, usual customers like me.
An hour has passed and I'm gulping down my second cup of coffee. I'm reading this biography we're supposed to write an essay about when the bell of the door rang. I glanced up to see who it was and it wasn't a usual customer. But I do know her though, only by face. I didn't notice that I was staring until she smiled at me. I returned it with a polite smile. After she ordered, she went to my corner. "Hey, is someone sitting here?" she asked me. I shook my head and grabbed my stuff to evacuate the extra couch. She sat down and placed the coffee on the table. And there was, just staring at me intently. I bit my lower lip, kind of embarassed by the way she looked at me. There was something with the stare that affected me, some kind of spark or something.
We started to talk about random things. I found out her name was Caitlin. It was so comforting, talking to her. It's like we had this instant connection between us. I guess she also wanted to see me again 'cause she asked me for coffee again. This went on for a month and we became closer. As in totally close. We got so attached with each other that I realized that I was falling for her. I know it's wrong, since we're both girls, but it really feels right. My feelings for her confused me big time. My ambivalent feelings really affected me 'cause I think I tried to stay away from her and she noticed.
This lead to a total misunderstanding. She thought I wanted to stay away from her, that I don't like spending time with her. That is the total opposite.
The night before, we were talking about her. I really wanted to know what she really is 'cause I heard rumors about her that she's a bisexual. I mean, that's really fine with me. No judgement made. All I want is for her to tell me the truth, that's all. So I kinda forced it out of her and that lead the misunderstanding. I sent her messages saying that it was okay with me, but she didn't reply to any of them.
Next day, I waited for hear in the coffee shop, hoping to see her. And I did. She went in but didn't head tot he counter. She was just standing there by the door, staring at me. And I just sat there, paralyzed by her stare, not knowing what to do. She walked to my corner, now our corner, and stood in front of me. I feel it again, that electric feeling between us rushing in my veins. My pulse quicken. I didn't know what to feel, I was happy yet nervous. Oh shit. I couldn't resist her and this silence between us is killing me. I grabbed her hand and uplled her to an embrace. Hugging her feels so good and she hugged me back. "I am so sorry," I told her ",I'm sorry if you think I'm staying away from you. That I don't like being with you, if that's what you tink. 'Cause actually, that's the total opposite of what I feel." She stood in front of me, studying my face, processing what I've just said. "What exactly do you feel?" she asked softly. This is it, I thought. It's time to tell her. I took a deep breath, and I grab her hand. "Cait," I started ", my feelings for? It's different. I think I'm falling for you..." but then she cut me off. Next thing I know, her lips are now against mine, her tongue exploring the insides of my mouth. This feels good. I tangled my fingers in her hair, deepening the kiss. This might look so wrong for others, but for both of us it feels so right. We stopped kissing and both our cheeks were flushed.
She gave me that stare, the stare meant only for me. We didn't say anything to each other after, I just held my hand out for her to hold and she took it. We didn't need to say anything more because we both understood - our feelings for each other is something more and we, now, both know it. So, there we were, in our little coffee shop. Hand entwined, waiting for our order in the counter. I can hear the coffee grinder and can smell the brewed coffee. It smells like home. It's very comforting. And now, I found that someone to share that comfort with.