Author's note: First off, I in no way, shape, or form, own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, I am not using this to make a profit, and lastly, I wrote this for fun, for you guys! On the next page, you'll see the actual dialogue for the actual episode, while on the next...is my parody of it. My version is just a little something I made up when I was EXTREMELY bored. By the way, I used censorship, since that's my writing style. Also, when I write something in italics that means that the person is thinking! Thank you for taking the time to read my fan fiction!

YUKI N. The dimensions aren't severed yet. It's inevitable. If so, it's over.
Kyon: What should I do?
YUKI N. Nothing. The entity has lost hope. The chance for evolution is lost. Haruhi Suzumiya created information from nothing. The entity could not. If we analyze this ability...it may lead to the evolution of autonomy. I'll gamble on you.
Kyon: Bet what?
YUKI N. It's our desire that you return. Haruhi Suzumiya is a valued subject. I, as an individual, also feel a desire for your return. Once again, in the library...
-Power fading-
Kyon: NAGATO!
YUKI N. sleeping beauty
-Power's out-

-Kyon is currently trapped in a closed space, all alone with Haruhi... (Nothing suspicious about that whatsoever...)-
YUKI N. Hi, how are you doing?
Kyon: WHAT THE HECK? I'M IN A CLOSED SPACE, AND YOUR JUST ASKING ME HOW I'M DOING? I'm doing fine, how do I get out of here?
YUKI N. YOU MUST DIE!
Kyon: WHAT THE H**L? I THOUGHT THAT YOU WHERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME, NOT KILL ME!
YUKI N. Yeah, you thought so, that was until I was told by the Data Integration Thought Entity to follow through with Ryoko Asakura's original plan, and that is to kill you now.
Kyon: WHAT THE H**L? ...
YUKI N. Stop swearing inside your mind, it's not healthy for your soul.
Kyon: DA**IT! She can read my mind?
YUKI N. Yes, Kyon, anyway, I was just kidding, in order to get out of the closed space, you must say: "Haruhi, you're, like, so hot, that I just wanna' kiss you!"
Kyon: ...No way...IN H**L!
YUKI N. Kyon, remember what I said-
Kyon: Yeah, yeah...But really, what do I have to do?
YUKI N. I'll get back on that...
-Yuki logs off-
-5 minutes later-
Kyon: WHAT THE HECK IS TAKING HER SO LONG?
-10 minutes later-
YUKI N.. What you really have to do is...
Kyon: Jeez, took you long enough...Yes?
YUKI N. I don't know, but just remember this thing that I never told you: sleeping beauty. Good bye Kyon, I hate you.
-COMPUTER SHUTS DOWN!-
Kyon: WHAT THE H**L? What the h**l am I supposed to do now? A-ha! I got it! I'm Sleeping Beauty!
-Kyon goes into an eternal slumber...-