For starters, I curse and praise Victorious and all those awesome writers out there that won't let me forget that Jade and Tori are great together. This was bugging me all day so I sat down, typed it out, and here I am. It's raining outside right about now and while I don't like being out in it much, I love the rain. The sound of it is relaxing and it always held good memories for me despite it always being used in sad parts of shows or movies. Rain was what gave me the idea for this and it just grew from there. Enjoy!
I kept running until my legs were tired and found myself in the park. It was pouring rain and as soon as I left the Vega household I was soaked to the bone. Why did that subject have to come up? There we were, sitting around talking like we always did when we decided to hang out at Tori's house when Beck tried to ask me something. I failed to listen like I seemed to do consistently since my sudden interest in Vega. It wasn't something I really cared to worry about until I started realizing how often I thought about how beautiful she was on a day to day basis. I ignored it for the most part. I was just beginning to accept Vega because we were starting to get along, but then I started to get distant with Beck. I was afraid to admit that I wasn't attracted to him anymore. I still loved him, but more as a friend. Our daily activities felt like routine. He never once had misgivings until the day I neglected to snap at Tori for saying something to him that could have been construed as flirting.
We were sitting at the Asphalt Café so we were in our group. I remember the others looking on, impressed that Vega got away with it, but Beck was quiet and kept looking at me oddly. It was then I couldn't risk letting her slide and do whatever she wanted. I increased my animosity towards her and picked on her more than usual only for her to smile and wave it off, a weird look in her eye that I just knew meant she understood I was trying to keep her at a distance. After all, we had times when we went out just the two of us. She had seen the less ganky side of me. I looked up into the sky and closed my eyes. I let the cold rain wash over me, hoping to wash away what Beck said moments ago, what I had said back to him. Angry or not, I shouldn't have said it like that. He deserved to know a long time ago but I was too afraid, too cowardly to give up what I knew. I was too scared to admit I liked Victoria Vega.
I was sitting on the couch, Beck's arm draped over my shoulders, just listening to the conversations around me. Vega came out of the kitchen to hand out the drinks she got for Andre, Robbie, and Cat. She left and then came back with one for Beck and herself. I watched her every movement, not hearing Beck when he asked me if I was okay. He shook my shoulder and I turned my frown on him.
"What's up?" he questioned. I only shook my head as Vega came over and held out his drink to him. He took it with a smile and a thank you. Vega returned the smile then moved to sit on my other side. The strange thing was, I didn't even think to push her off this time. She plopped next to me, drink in hand. I could feel how close she was and I didn't mind. My frown deepened in thought. Why her? Why out of everyone I could have liked it had to be her? Beck nudged me with a little impatience. When he had my attention he motioned for me to get up and follow him to the kitchen. We moved to the farthest corner in an attempt to keep our conversation out of earshot of the others.
"Jade, what's going on with you?" he questioned. His hand anxiously gripped his glass but all I could do was give him a glare.
"What do you mean what's going on with me?" I demanded. I just managed to pull my eyes away from Vega before answering him.
"That," he almost spat.
"What?" I asked.
"You stare at her all the time. I don't know if it's some messed up plan forming in your head to ruin her or you actually have some kind of interest in her other than that. I find that hard to believe. I thought you hated her," he responded, irritation and worry barely noticeable in his voice. I sighed, looking him in the eye but refusing to answer. I didn't want to tell him the truth here of all places.
"Jade," he said, getting my attention again before it wandered. My eyebrows pressed together in distress and he knew immediately. He slammed down his glass on the counter, hurt and anger in his dark eyes. By then everyone was staring but we didn't care. Our attention was on the problem at hand.
"I see how it is. When were you going to tell me? Were you even going to or were you just going to lead me on?" he interrogated. I never heard him so full of emotion for such a laid back person.
"Beck…" I tried to say, but for once I was actually at a loss for words. Seeing the hurt in his eyes, his face, his stance, was hurting me too. I never wanted to hurt him, but I couldn't help how I felt.
"Don't. Just don't. I knew something was there but I never really thought it was possible. Why didn't you tell me?" he went on, his voice slowly rising. I finally looked away, unable to face him. The guilt was starting to eat at me. All those thoughts about Tori seemed so misplaced now. I didn't know if what I felt was worth the pain I caused him, but I couldn't go back on it now.
"I'm sorry, Beck. I wanted to tell you, I just…I was afraid, ok!" I admitted, finally letting my anger out. I tried to explain but I couldn't. My frustration at the fact that he didn't understand the turmoil I felt or give me the time to explain made me disregard anything he had to say. It was then I decided I had enough. I could feel my anger rise and I knew only hateful words would come out so I turned away from him and rushed for the door. The others were watching as I left, Vega's worried brown eyes on me. I opened the door and slammed it, walking out into the cold night. It started to rain not too long later.
I was brought back to the present by splashing footsteps behind me. The rhythmic sound turned into soft slaps as it traveled off concrete and onto grass. The footsteps came to a halt directly behind me. I hoped it wasn't who I thought it was but I knew better.
"Jade?" her quiet voice inquired. I reluctantly turned to see the source of my troubles. I looked away, refusing to look at those expressive brown eyes.
"Beck told me what happened. Is it true?" Vega spoke again. Her voice was soft, understanding, and a little on the vulnerable side. I hated being vulnerable. It was the reason I didn't want to talk at the moment, but I had to tell her. I let the rain cover our silence and stared at the drenched half Latina who was patiently waiting for my answer. I opened my mouth to speak but it cracked, just as I knew it would. Vega couldn't see it but I knew I was crying. It tore me up knowing I hurt Beck. I regretted hurting Vega just to cover my feelings for her. Everything was one big lie and I didn't know how to explain myself. Vega sighed and nodded in defeat.
"I'll leave you alone," she relented, almost quiet enough for the sound of the rain to wash away her words too. She turned to walk away but I quickly reached out and grabbed her wrist.
"Tori, don't go," I told her shakily. Don't leave me. I barely realized I had called her by her first name, but Tori didn't miss it. She looked back at me in a way I had never seen before. I tried to speak again but failed so I pulled her close so that I could wrap her in my arms. Dammit, Vega. Why did she make me feel so soft and vulnerable? The problem was, I wanted to feel that way. I wanted to bare my soul to her and have someone who understood me for me. She was always able to do that. Beck somehow fell short. I held her close to me, her warmth easily keeping me safe from the cold. She immediately returned the gesture, her hands tight at my back. I snaked a hand up to tilt her head up so I could get a good look at her. Now that we were closer our noses were barely touching. She smiled that bright smile and I returned it, knowing she knew exactly what I was trying to say, just like she always did. I leaned in and closed the small gap between us. My free arm pulled her flush against me while her hands slid down to rest on my hips. They left a burning trail over my skin. My tongue brushed her bottom lip, a bit too reserved for my normally abrasive actions, but I wanted to show her what she did to me. She didn't hesitate to allow me to dominate her mouth. Her moan made me shiver and I let her take back control, which she did. She explored my mouth and ended the kiss with a little nip at my bottom lip. The action was almost shy and I knew she had to be blushing. I didn't care either way. That simple action made me groan, wanting more of her, but she pulled away to rest her forehead on mine. Our breath mingled between us in puffs which we could easily see due to how cold it was getting. I felt heated up though with her body so close to mine and my own giving off heat. A big smile lit her face and she made a content humming sound.
"I'll take that as a yes," she commented. I laughed softly, my hand moving to hold behind her neck so I could bring her in for a quick kiss.
"I do. I really like you," I mumbled against her lips.
"Good, because I like you too," she replied. I could practically hear the happiness in her tone.
"Let's get back inside so we can dry off," I suggested. She nodded, her hands falling to hold my own in hers. She looked at me once more and then we walked back, in no hurry to return to Vega's house. By the time we arrived we already decided on keeping our tenuous new relationship between us, at least until I sorted things out with Beck. I groaned when that was brought up. Vega calmly reminded me that I needed to make things up to him and I knew she was right. We let our hands drop as we walked in to see that everyone was still there. Cat squealed when she saw us, Andre's worried frown lessened, Robbie looked at us curiously, and Beck had a sad smile on his face.
"Geez, what took you so long? How far did she go?" Andre questioned Vega.
"Pretty far, but I got her," Vega replied triumphantly, giving me her bright smile. She definitely got me. I rolled my eyes but a small smirk played on my lips. That girl was going to be the death of me, I just knew it. Andre gave her a calculating look before shrugging and explaining that he had to get going. He was Cat and Robbie's ride so they got up to go too. Vega wished them a safe drive on their way out. Once they were gone she turned to look at me and Beck meaningfully. I sighed but nodded, letting her know I understood.
"Well, I'm going to get out of these and put on something dry. Do you need something, Jade?" Vega offered. I shook my head absentmindedly as I walked toward Beck. He watched me warily and Vega shrugged, leaving us alone. The silence was uncomfortable and tense. Beck leaned on the counter in the kitchen, that hurt look still in his eyes.
"Beck, I'm sorry. Hear me out because this isn't easy. I never meant to hurt you. I loved you, and still do, just not in that way anymore. I wish I could say that I do, but I don't. I never wanted to lead you on either but I was in the middle of still trying to figure out my own problems to consider adding yours into the mix. I swear I was going to tell you once I made up my mind. This just beat me to it. I'm so sorry. Can you please forgive me? I can't stand seeing you hurt," I explained, letting that strange, soft, vulnerability into my voice. He stayed where he was for a few seconds more as he tried to process what I said and then he sighed, looking away and running a hand through his hair. But then he looked at me and I knew I was forgiven.
"You know I can't stay mad at you. Our relationship wouldn't have worked in the first place if I could. I'm happy you found someone who gets you and that you're letting someone in. It'll be good for you. She'll be good for you," he replied, walking over to stand in from of me. He opened his arms and I threw myself into them. He hugged me close before letting me go.
"I'll see you around. Don't be a stranger," he said playfully, his old self almost returning. He brushed my cheek and then headed for the door.
"I think you should stay with Tori. You guys have a lot to talk about," he said over his shoulder. I raised an eyebrow at him curiously but he just held up a hand in farewell, opened the door, and left. I stared at the closed door until Vega came down the stairs and stopped. She looked at me, slightly puzzled and worried. I didn't know why until I felt the return of tears. I hadn't known I was crying. Vega walked over and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked at her and she wordlessly opened her arms to me. I accepted the comfort just as easily as I did with Beck. She rubbed my back and sighed.
"I have to change again. Come on. I'll find something for you and then we can talk," she suggested. I looked down at her to see I soaked her new clothes. She took my hand and led me up to her room where she passed me a t-shirt and sweats. I changed in the bathroom and returned to see her in a new set of pajamas. We laid next to each other on her bed and began the longest conversation I had ever had with her. After, I felt emotionally and physically tired. Without a word Vega got up to pull back the blankets. I followed her under and she pulled me close. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly through my nose. The smell of her surrounded me and I felt safe. Vega smiled softly and kissed my cheek before closing her eyes. I followed her lead and let myself fall asleep. The next day I returned home to an empty house. My dad must not have cared that I didn't return home or he just didn't care to check if I was because my phone was mercifully without a call or text and he wasn't home when I got back. I spent the day lounging on the couch, thinking about last night. It changed everything. I was basically going out with Tori Vega. The girl I thought I hated with a passion just turned out to be my passion instead. Victoria Vega was my girlfriend. I smiled genuinely at that, flipping through the channels until the horror movie channel passed. I wasn't in the mood so I kept going. I stopped on some singing competition show. It reminded me of Vega so I left it on and laid down on the couch to get comfortable.
Geez, I was being such a sap. Vega was rubbing off on me. Instead of hating it I let it be. I received a text from Cat half way through the show. She was asking what happened after they left. I only told her she would find out tomorrow. She happily accepted my answer and left me alone. The next text to come in was from Vega. Butterflies flew when I saw it was her. We kept up a conversation all day off and on. We wished each other a good night when it was late and I eagerly went to sleep. Even I was excited to see her tomorrow. I woke up in a good mood and rushed to get ready. By the time I stepped out of my car she was there, waiting for me at the entrance to Hollywood Arts. I confidently walked up to her and gave her a small one sided smile. She grinned back and then turned to push open the door. I beat her to it and held it open for her. She happily walked in and I followed her, letting it close on someone who was going to come in too. I followed her to her locker and we struck up small talk. I watched students in the hall give us weird looks. They probably never saw a day when Vega and I got along. We said good-bye when the bell rang and parted ways to start our day. I glimpsed Beck throughout the day but he kept his distance, only offering me a nod and a small smile. Nothing more. His group of fangirls must have caught on that we weren't together anymore because they followed him everywhere. For the first time I didn't mind. I did come to the conclusion that if any girl hurt Beck like I did I would personally give them the worst hair cut they ever had with my favorite scissors. I might not be in love with Beck but I still cared for him. He deserved better than that. At lunch the group met up at our usual table at the Asphalt Café. I sat down and immediately looked around for Vega.
"She isn't here yet," Cat said suddenly. I looked at her with furrowed brows.
"If you're wondering, Tori isn't here yet. She said she had to go somewhere and left a few minutes early from class. She said she would meet us at lunch though," Cat explained. I nodded and turned my attention to my salad. What was Vega doing? At that moment, the half Latina herself walked over briskly, a coffee in hand. I couldn't help standing up to meet her halfway. Andre, Robbie, and Rex all looked at me, their conversation on hold. Beck remained eating and Cat giggled.
"Hey," I greeted Vega with a smile.
"Hey to you too," she responded, positively beaming.
"I heard you cut class. Barely a day and I'm already a bad influence on you," I teased. Vega shook her head but laughed.
"I got you something," she responded, holding out the coffee. I accepted it from her and took a sip. It was just the way I liked it. Black with two sugars.
"I had to force Trina to give me a ride to Jet Brew. I know the coffee here sucks and you don't like it," she pointed out, shyly looking down. I laughed and nodded.
"Thank you, Tori. I needed this," I told her sincerely. My reply seemed to erase her earlier shyness because her bright smile returned and she held out her arms.
"Love me? Love me now? Yeah you do. Come on, give Tori a squeeze," she said eagerly. I laughed and pulled her into a hug that made almost everyone stare, including our group. Rex made a comment I would have normally ripped his arms off for but I was too happy to care. For once I accepted a hug from Vega without complaint or attempting to injure her. It felt good to have her in my arms and I hoped I would always have her. I really liked Victoria Vega and I didn't care who knew it.
I just love that quote that Tori says. I had to include it. I think the episode Wok Star was the closest Jade and Tori ever got on the show besides perhaps the episode Tori & Jade's Playdate and Tori Goes Platinum.