I do not own Naruto in any way.

This is yaoi with a considerable age difference between the men.

Chapters 1 & 2 are T, 3rd chapter is M

'Here we are at another bath house so ero-sennin can do his "research." He drags me to one at least once a week so he can peak at the women. I guess he's found a good crack in the fence because he's been over there giggling for a while now. I've watched him do this for two years now but I still don't understand why he does it. Men always keep a towel around their privates in bath houses and I can't imagine women don't do the same. He shouldn't be able to see anything different than normal. Do they really compare breast sizes like he writes in the dirty novels? Perhaps one of these days I should take a peak to see why he finds it so fascinating. Stupid perverted old man. You know I can change into a girl sexier than all of them over there.'

Naruto sighed, his feet dangled in the warm water. He had learned to not stay in the bath the entire time after fainting from their first two hour long stay. Then he learned not to take his bath first and then wait for Jiraiya after he became so chilled he had to get back in the water and came down with a cold the next day. Sometimes there would be other men in the bath so Jiraiya couldn't peek and they didn't stay at the bath long. Other times Naruto would get fed up with waiting and just bathe and head back to the hotel alone. The strong desire for companionship kept those instances to a minimum; most nights, like tonight, Naruto sat at the edge of the water watching his mentor do "research" as a feeling of jealousy slowly burned its way through his body.

'Damn him, always lavishing such attention on the women around us, pushing me away to train alone. Don't you se what it does to me when you wave me off with 'go practice' nearly everyday? Am I really that good with hiding the hurt and abandonment I feel? I don't want another teacher, I had Iruka and Kakashi for that, and I don't need a father figure because Iruka's willing to take on that role for me. What I want, what I need is not a companion, but a lover.

I see the way girls my age look at me in the towns we pass through; I know I could easily get a date. But they don't know about the demon inside me so the relationship would be fake. As soon as they found out it would be over. And I'm not looking for a simple physical release of sex either. For that I have a hand or I could go to the red light district. No, what I want is for someone from our village, someone who knows what I've been through, to look at me and say 'I know all about you and I love and respect you anyway.' I had thought that person would be Sasuke; I had always known Sakura would never see me that way. But Sasuke's rejection was so clear it had literally nearly killed me.

But then you came and took me away with you. Not because you had to as a teacher. Not because you secretly felt guilty every time you looked at me because you should have realized sooner how much pain I was in being alone. You took me in, from the vary beginning, and trained me simply because you wanted to. You brought me along on this journey because you wanted to protect me and make me stronger. How was I not supposed to fall in love with you? You, who as the fourth's teacher, probably know more about who I am than anyone else still alive.

What can I do to get you to love me in return? How can I get you to stop sending me off and spend time with me? I try to master the jutsu you show me so fast so you have to show me the next one. That's the only time we really spend together and I cherish it so much. I can't even enjoy the time we spend together in the hot springs because you're not really here with me. If I left right now you wouldn't notice since you're too busy peeking. How can I make you understand? What can I do to make you look at me the same way I look at you? I want you to look at me as a lover, even if it is only for one night.'