Authoress's Note: … I had way too much fun writing this. I also like an emo Eddy way too much. Along with EddEddy. So… That's about it.
Disclaimer: Let's be real, if I owned Ed, Edd n Eddy, Double D and Eddy would've gotten together and it would end up on Adult Swim.
Everyone always told me 'honesty is the best policy'. Until very recently, I wrote that off as something parents told their brat children.
Because lying is the way I had gotten by most of my life.
I've always had a wall of lies.
I'm fine.
I want to be alone.
It doesn't bother me.
I didn't put up the wall so that people would believe it; I put it up to see who would care enough to break it down to get to the truth. Nobody had cared enough for a very long time. The last person who cared was Edd and that… Backfired, for lack of a better word.
He meant well, but he's the person who triggered it; the realization that while I thought I was happy, I was in denial.
Double D, with his wide smile and cute gap in his teeth, his sincere blue eyes and big, science-y words. He was a dork, but he was my dork. He's perfect; kind, got along with everyone, and just... Loved.
I saw that. And I wanted that.
But, no. I got my brother. And he transformed me into this freak I am. Imperfect, selfish, and unloved. I hate it. I hate him. I hate myself for letting it happen.
How could I let it happen?
Now, I was forced to hide behind this mask of confidence and anger, trying to hide who I really was; broken, depressed and weak. And I never knew this until I met little Double D.
I should hate him for it, but I don't. Instead, I became friends with him, and eventually developed a probably one-sided crush on him.
Why wouldn't it be one-sided? Why would flawless Edd chose to love me, when there are so many more perfect people out there?
I was sinking into a pit I call 'depression', and dangerously fast. So many things were crammed inside my head; my brother, my personality, my crush on my friend…
It was becoming too much to handle, so I dealt with it the only way I knew.
I began to cut myself, but very lightly in places I could easily hide (like my shoulders and waist).
However, the secrets of my abusive, hell-of-a-past was only kept a secret for so long. Things went sour and everyone met my brother, and my wall just crumbled completely. Before I knew what was happening, I was apologizing for everything and admitting my faults out loud.
I had thought about these things multiple times, but never actually spoken of them. I lied. Now, everybody knew. Everybody knew exactly what they were dealing with; not the confident Eddy they thought they knew, but the breaking, liar Eddy I've always known I was.
A few tears trickled down my cheeks, and yet, Edd was able to take my hands, look me in the eyes and make me feel better about everything, in the blink of an eye.
It was amazing. But even still, I found old habits die hard. I continued to act confident…
And one day, I told Edd, "Leave me alone, alright?! I'm just fine."
He frowned at me with worried blue eyes, wrapped his arms around my shoulders and whispered, "I know you're lying. You don't have to pretend anymore."
That was, ironically, the most comforting thing he could've possibly said. To know that my mask was breaking, that I didn't have to hide anything because they could tell either way… I was finally free. I didn't have to lie to anyone anymore.
Not Double D, not Ed, not the kids of the cul-de-sac, not myself… Not anyone.
This realization, and it alone, was the thing that made me quit my habit of self-harm. And my newfound honesty in what got me the sweet, perfect male who I'm proud to call my boyfriend; Double D.
Everyone always told me 'honesty is the best policy'. I suppose, in the end, they're right.
Authoress's Note: I am so effin' cheesy, it's not even funny. T_T I tried to show a much weaker side of Eddy, while still mentioning his arrogant self, so I suppose he's out of character on purpose.
Well, anyways, PLEAASE review! I thrive on this stuff, I swear to God! Flames, however, will be used to cook marshmallows. :3
Baiiii~!
(Double D: It's 4 in the morning. You should probably be getting to sleep.
Me: Sleep? Me?! PSSSHHHH! *Cracks up* *Sudden serious face* Don't go suggestin' ridiculous things, bro.)