Animaniacs is owned by Warner Bros., I don't claim any of them as mine, same as with any other franchise I use in here, they're not mine either.
This is a one-shot. This is not related to my "A Dare Gone Zany" storyline.
Varied theme song line of the day: All three Warners swinging on vines in a jungle in leopard-print rags: "Tarzan and Jane-y!"
Tower Escape of the Day: As we see the Water Tower, the door swings open and a long, blue slip-n-slide immediately unrolled out and extended down to the ground and then some. It must've been several tens of meters long! Some water could be seen pouring along the length of the slide, then a few seconds later, the Warner Brothers and Sister slid down one by one, all with goggles and bathing suits on. Yakko slid down on his back, Wakko slid down on his belly, and Dot slid down on one foot, looking like a ballerina. They all slid past the end of the slide and across the ground just as easily, then out the front gates.
Saturday, 1 PM
We get an overview of an amusement park just past the city, complete with roller coasters and various kinds of rides and carnival shows and more. Lots of families were there, a few people and big groups were taking selfies with several-meters long sticks, which one or two unlucky groups had their phone stolen by a bird, or hit several people at once.
Soon after, three familiar toons parachuted to the ground, and were revealed to be the titular Warner Brothers and their sister Dot, taking off their goggles once they were safely on the ground. Yakko looked up at the plane that had brought them there. "Thanks for the drop off, Slappy!" He shouted and waved at the old squirrel, who waved back.
"No prob, bub!" She shouted back. "Woo! Pilot's license, here I come!" Slappy said as she flew away.
"How's that for a start of a good birthday, my big bro?" Dot asked.
Wakko smiled brightly in response. "That was amazing! But I think a jetpack would've made it perfect though."
"Then we'll take the one from the 'Jingle All The Way' set for a take two in post." Dot said.
After a bit of walking, Yakko took a big sniff of the air around him. "Ahhh, smell that scent of deep fried snacks and stuffed prizes, sibs?" He said with a smile.
"I can't believe it, the amusement park's finally reopened!" Dot said happily, looking rather excited.
"I still forgot what made it close in the first place though." Wakko said.
Yakko brought out a projector and pull-down screen on a tripod stand upon hearing that, turning it on and putting in some slides. "Maybe these'll jog the memory a bit." The older Warner said.
One picture showed the Warners parasailing on the back of the roller coaster ride, simple enough. "Now that's a postcard worth reading!" Wakko said.
Another was a series of pictures involving Dot trying to hold onto the carnival strongman, with the other two siblings trying to pull her off and away, each picture having her more and more angry and screaming with the last picture having her trying to leap onto him. "I even gave him flowers..." Dot said a bit sadly. "And the bees were for free... I hope he's thinking of me in therapy!" She added a bit more hopefully with a smile again.
The last few pictures showed a rather big and combined explosion thanks to a few food stands working overtime to keep up with Wakko's appetite for an eat-off challenge. The last one showed the three of them smiling and giving a thumbs up while holding a newspaper the next day with the headlines "Bay-splosion Rocks Amusement Park! New Movie Soon To Come?".
"Speaks for itself." Yakko said to his sibs at that last picture before he turned it off. Wakko then tossed the projector up and ate it in one gulp.
"I'm really glad ya took me to the amusement park for my birthday, guys." Wakko said in his goofy smile. "I actually forgot what their food tastes like."
"Since when have you remembered the taste of any food?" Dot asked him.
"It's distinct." The middle brother responded to her.
"As distinct as a crater on Mars." Dot said to herself.
Yakko chuckled at that little conversation. They worked so well together. "Now then, you know what we must do?" The older sibling asked the other two.
"Yup! Operation: Find Wakko The Best Birthday Gift Before The Amusement Park Kicks Us Out Again!" Dot said happily.
"You got it!" Yakko said with a bright smile. "Now, split up and find the greatest present ever for our little bro!" Yakko said, the Warners saluting.
"Sir yes sir!" They responded, all three revving up their legs and splitting up, zipping away to different parts of the park.
Play Short Song: We're On The Hunt(To the tune of Offenbach's Can Can Music)
Yakko:
We'll go get that precious toy,
The perfect one for my ol' boy,
And something tells me that this ol' carnival might have the one here
.
Wakko:
Hope my perfect toy is here,
I just know that it's really near,
I don't know what it is but I know it when I see it soon
.
Dot:
My big bro deserves the best,
I'll get a toy with lots of zest,
And maybe while I'm still here I'll get that strongman yet again
.(Chorus)
Yakko and Dot:
We're on the hunt
To get Wakko his best gift,
.
Wakko:
We're on the hunt
To get my present quick and swift,
.
Yakko and Dot:
We're on the hunt
To make his birthday the best
.
All:
We're on the hunt
To hopefully not make a mess!
(Yakko: But with no "time-back guarantee".)
(End song)
One fade-in and fade-out Later
Wakko ended up in a carnival area first, with different exhibits and "houses of fun". A sort of whimsical kind of carnival music played while he wandered too. Curiously distracted, he enters one of them, a "Hall of Mirrors" first. The younger brother wandered through and noticed himself looking goofy and distorted with each mirror. Wakko laughed at himself and decided to change himself to look like that same distorted person, making the one in the mirror actually look normal.
He then started doing the same with all the mirrors he came across, all in different forms and blobs before shaking himself back to normal and ending up in a bigger room with lots more mirrors. Wakko looked more curious at being surrounded by himself, each one he looked at doing different things such as juggling his head around, spinning his body like a top, dancing goofily while other reflections laughed, etc. while the real Wakko smiled goofily at all of them.
Then the music playing slowly grew more intense as something approached and the scenery gained a growing blue tint to it. The reflections grew scared as the real Wakko turned around and saw a few big clowns smiling back that had also wandered in. He screamed in silence(which was a big trumpet blare) and started running in a random direction with the clowns following.
As the music changes to something a bit more frantic, the chase continued. There was various attempts to give the clowns the slip to no avail. The funhouse seemed to go on and expand, all of them now hopping on strings of bubbles. Wakko tried to run and hop as the music added in some cymbals to symbolize the clowns trying to pop the bubbles and the middle Warner trying to bounce to the next one.
Next the music changed to glissing xylophones as they went to the mirrors. Wakko went into one and the clowns tripped over themselves trying to stop, skidding into the mirror and crashing into it, accompanied by a cymbal crash too. Wakko appeared from mirror to mirror as the clown group chased after him, their running accompanied by a drumroll.
Soon Wakko ran from mirror to mirror himself, the clowns then splitting up as they ran after him again. After a few more seconds, Wakko seemed to have vanished and the clowns just chased each other until they all stopped in the center. They saw the middle sibling and the resumed the real chase.
Wakko then suddenly skidded to a stop and so did the clowns. Wakko's eyes were closed as he turned around and simply pointed up, smiling almost like how Yakko would give a smug smile. The clowns looked up at a big object falling down towards them, accompanied by a down-glissing xylophone noise. When they looked back down, Wakko was gone again, and the object(shown to be a big weight) fell right onto the clowns and flattened them with a big orchestral "CRASH", with Wakko now floating down on top of it. He smiled goofily again and hopped off back on the ground.
He then noticed a red nose that fell onto the ground, picking it up as he went through the funhouse exit with a smile, looking back at it.
"They really oughta put a warning sign in that thing." Wakko said as he walked off, the music drawing to a close.
One fade-in and fade-out later
A while later, back in the amusement park, Yakko and Dot were in the carnival part of it now, walking past all the carnies. It seemed a bit packed today, with various stands doing tricks and hosting simple games that kids were getting ripped off on.
"So what is it about the carnival that makes it fun again?" Dot asked her older brother.
"The scent of old corn dogs and a bitter life, being laughed at by strangers, free fried everything, prizes as big as your wardrobe, take your pick." Yakko explained with a smile.
"So they get paid to be watched and laughed at by people they don't know?" Dot asked.
"No, that's for every weekday at 3/2 central." Yakko said in response as they wandered into the big tent.
As they wandered around and into the back part of the stage, Yakko and Dot noticed several weird kinds of performers, some of which they haven't seen.
One of them they saw was a group called the "Titan Troupe", in which some off-color parodies of the "Teen Titans GO" characters were jumping and flipping for a big sack of money being held by a guy in a suit, telling then to not let the haters get them down.
"Can't wait to see their show go on the road." Yakko said after seeing that.
"To recovery?" Dot responded.
"Now you're thinking." Yakko said proudly, patting his little sis on her head.
As they continued wandering, they were both soon grabbed by the ears by someone with a "yelp!". The person that grabbed them looked like a ringleader of the whole thing, with a red coat and a big mustache on his face and some girth to his gut. "A-ha! You two look like you're just what I need for my performance!" He said happily.
"Why, was Criss Angel too good to bring in?" Yakko quipped back.
The ringleader just chortled in a jolly way. "Oh no no, I bring in nothing but the pinnacle of talent in this tent."
"Looks like you're doing a good job already." Dot said.
"Yeah! Nine bucks a show is a lot for this caliber of production!" Yakko added on.
The bigger guy's smile faded a bit, but remained undeterred as he let Yakko and Dot go, dropping them back on the ground. "I'll have you know I run the grand 'Carnum and Pailey' circus here, nothing but the best!" He exclaimed proudly.
"The only thing grand I see is how many circus corn dogs you have for everyone here." Yakko said as he pats the ringleader's big gut. The big guy frowned a little now, but still remained kind enough to not let it get to him.
"Look, kids, the reason I got you is because my other two performers were in an accident with a clown car and a unicycle, and I need to fill them in. You two look like you're truly talented enough to help the show go on! What do ya say?"
Yakko and Dot looked at each other and smiled a bit, this could help them out in getting Wakko his gift! "Depends on what's in it for us." Yakko said.
The ringleader stammered a little and looked around. "How about one of our best clowns?" He offered, pulling one over to show them.
Yakko shook his head. "Nah. Our noses can do more than him and his own." He said.
"Like this!" Dot added, taking her's off with a "pop" and stretching it back with her other hand. She let go of it and it popped loudly like a big party popper complete with confetti, so loud and booming that it knocked the ringleader down and sent the clown flying into a nearby launch cannon. That soon blew up too and sent the clown even higher and out of the tent, tearing a hole in it in the process.
The ringleader groaned a bit and got back up. "Well, what about a year's supply of our food and treats?" He said as he pointed to several big crates corn dogs and fried stuff.
"Well to our brother, one year's supply turns into a half hour." Dot said.
"You should see him when he catches the ice cream truck." Yakko added.
"Well, what do you kids want then?" The ringleader asked, crossing his arms.
Yakko and Dot then hopped onto the big man's shoulders. "One, the secrets to how you get your mustache that curly and big. Is it cause you emptied all the Rogain you had on your lips?" Yakko said as twisted it around a bit and let go of it, making it spin like a propeller and making the other heavyset toon start to hover above the ground with a "whooaaa!"
A little later, after the two Warner siblings flew him around with the mustache still spinning around fast, one of the circus staff came out to give a time warning, a brunette girl holding a clipboard. "2 minutes to showtime!" She shouted. The ringleader stopped and fell on the ground.
"Ugh, will you please help me out or not?" The ringleader man said worriedly and urgently.
Yakko and Dot looked at each other and gave him a thumbs up. "We accept!" They said in unison.
"But only cause you said the magic word." Yakko said.
"'Please'?" The ringleader repeated.
"No, 'help'. We hear that all the time." Yakko responded casually.
"Well good. Let the show begin!" The ringleader said loudly and witha big smile.
Fade out
And now, "Dot's Poetry Corner".
Dot was up onstage in front of some poetry enthusiasts in the "Warner Cafe" as she cleared her throat, ready to recite her latest poem to her crowd.
"Peter Piper:
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers;
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked;
If Peter Piper ate that peck of pickled peppers,
How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper eat before no amount of milk could soothe the fire-breathing pain he now had in his mouth?"
"Thank you." Dot curtsied and smiled as the audience clapped softly to the poem.
This has been another visit to "Dot's Poetry Corner".
One fade in later
With a rather impressive fanfare, the circus was about to begin, the audience half filled with toons of all kinds, mostly kids and some adults that were just there to see someone get a trick wrong and get hurt so they can film it. Drums were playing and trumpets were blaring as the performance was about to start.
"Greetings one and all!" The ringleader came out and said. "And welcome to the Carnum and Pailey Circus for the ages! We hope you will be marginally impressed and your money well spent for a full hour of entertainment!("With no refunds." He whispered to himself.)" He added, with the crowd half cheering, half jeering, and two in a slapfight over the popcorn.
The show progressed as nice as a circus would progress, with the trapeze people being monkeys swinging and linking together like the barrel of monkeys kids toy, the 10s of clowns doing stunts in the tiny car such as side wheelies and jumping over a bus with a flip as well as drifting around the ring with a Vin Diesel parody clown driving, along with the elephants trunk wrestling each other with them grunting and trumpeting with lots of effort, resulting in gradual applause from the audience.
By the time the last act came by, the ringleader was saving Yakko and Dot for last, with Yakko reading his copy of Variety backstage. "You think 'The Tenderloins' would have meatier production than this right now?" Yakko asked Dot.
"As long as they don't overdo the salt, blegh." Dot responded, sticking her tongue out in disgust.
Meanwhile, Wakko had came in last minute to sit down in the audience, chomping on an extra large bucket of buttered popcorn, and another container just for the butter. "Ya got any extra ketchup?" He asked a nearby audience member to which they gave him a smallish bottle of it. He poured it all on the butter and tossed the container mix up, landing in his mouth and eating the whole thing, rubbing his belly. The audience member looked disgusted and ended up leaving.
"And now for our final act of the afternoon, a last minute addition to our already legendary cast of misfit characters..." The ringleader started in his booming voice.
"Sounds like the perfect commercial tie-in." Yakko said to the readers as they got into position.
"...I present to you, The all-hilarious Warner Brothers!" The ringleader said, lifting a curtain to reveal Yakko and Dot to the audience.
"And the Warner Sister!" Dot responded. The audience appauded and already were laughing a bit at them.
Wakko smiled at them and waved with his goofy smile. "Hey guys!" Wakko shouted.
"Hey Wakko!" They both said in unison and waved back at him.
Yakko gave a big sniff and sighed happily. "Ahh showbiz, I missed this scent. Smells just like sell-out and donuts." He said with the audience laughing a bit at the joke again.
The ringleader walked over and chuckled a bit uneasily at that. "Alrighty, enough of that." He cleared his throat. "And now, for our final act-" the ringleader said in his loud voice again, making the Warners on stage near him cover their ears due to being so much closer to it now. Yakko then brought out a big cork and stuffed the toon's mouth with it, immediately quieting things down.
"Jeez, any louder and you'll make the sequel to 'Thriller' called 'Boomer'." Yakko said, making the audience laugh again and the ringleader grumble around the cork and spit it out, also making it hit another clown nearby and knock them down.
"Eh heh, that's our performer, good ol' 'Sultan of Sass'." The heavyset toon said, trying to roll with it.
"Now that's a good thing to add to the résumé." Yakko said with a smile as he hopped onto the ringleader's head, making the other toon grumble and try to brush him off his head to no avail.
"Ooh ooh ooh, can I be the 'Queen of Cute'?" Dot said with a happy smile as she hopped up and down as well and raised her hand.
"And I'll be the 'Duke of Devouring'!" Wakko said from the audience, demonstrating it by eating the entirety of his popcorn, bucket included, letting out a big burp that made the tent rattle and shake, making the elephants trumpet out of fright.
The ringleader did his best to calm the elephants, then chuckled uneasily. "Not to worry, it's all part of the act!" He said, about to introduce the real trick to do, but was interrupted again.
"Oh oh oh, I know, I know what to do for that!" Yakko said with a bright and eager grin, immediately taking a microphone. "But wait, wha-" The ringleader started, but was cut off.
"Ladies and gentlemen of all species and forms, lend us your eyes, ears, noses and tears as we start OUR final act of the afternoon!" Yakko said with lots more confidence than the ringleader before. "Our subject here will navigate around our own little obstacle course without so much as a stain or scratch, to show just how talented he really is at leading his act." He added as he showed off an obstacle course not unlike what you'd see in "Double Dare", with pools of gunk, slides with ice cream smeared on them, the big mouth leading to a bowl of slime and a hamster wheel at the end.
Wakko clapped his hands along with the now interested audience. "Eh heh... I'm not sure that'd be best-" He started again, his confidence fading.
"Aww, come on tubs o' fun, the crowd's loving the idea!" Yakko said to him, elbowing the other's gut a bit hard.
"Just think of it as a Thanksgiving feast party and you'll be fine!" Dot added as she popped out from under his hat, disappearing back under it and popping up next to Yakko just as fast.
The big ringleader was still stammering a bit, while Yakko gave the countdown. "Ready? Ske-deady?" He started, then brought out a wrestling bell, giving it a loud ringing to signal the ringleader to start running.
The ringleader started running, climbing up a ramp first and jumping into the pool of goop, trying to wade through it while the audience cheered him on.
"So much for that 'no stain' promise, huh?" Yakko said to Dot.
"He keeps moving like that and the 'no scratch' promise ain't far behind." Dot responded as the ringleader already looked tired.
"I knew I shouldn't have quit the Gold's Gym regimen..." He said tiredly as he got out of the pool and moved to the next part, the slide. He tried to climb up but kept sliding down every time due to it being slippery on purpose.
"I think our little ringleader needs a boost!" Yakko said, nodding at Dot who walked over and tapped his back. He turned around and Dot had closed her eyes, almost acting professionally as she brought out her little white box that held her "pet", opening it.
The thing that came out this time was a big elephant head, like a woolly mammoth that trumpeted loud and in his face. He screamed as it wrapped the trunk around him and threw him up high. "Whoooooooaaa ho ho!" He shouted as he ended up skipping the rest of the obstacle and landed on the end part of it, in the stacked ice cream mounds as he was left groaning. The audience clapped and Wakko looked very amused at this show.
"Up and at 'em, up and at 'em!" Yakko said with a megaphone he had brought out now right next to the ringleader, jolting him up as he ran to the next part, the big mouth.
He leaped right in and ended up getting stuck. The audience was laughing at that misfortune as he wiggled his legs, trying to get through.
"Looks like a clog from here!" Yakko said.
"Shall we free him dear brother?" Dot said as well with a "polite" smile and tone.
"Why yes we should." Yakko responded equally "polite", getting a big plunger and putting it on the ringleader's rear, starting to try to push him down the mouth slide. The audience's laughter grew louder along with Wakko's, enjoying the show more than the others.
"We're a tasteful group, aren't we?" Yakko and Dot said to the readers with a smile, both of them giving a big push with the plunger at once, making the ringleader slide out and into the bowl of slime.
By now, the ringleader was soaked in various slimes as he slipped his way to the big wheel. He groaned a bit as the audience really got into it, cheering him on. He noticed it was much bigger than it should too, but still started running, but it was tough with all the slippery stuff on him.
Dot realized this and whistled, bringing in something waiting in the wings as it showed a big shadow to them all and got the ringleader scared. A second later, it turned out to be a chihuahua shaved to have a lion's mane, yapping loud and rapidly and joining the ringleader on the wheel, making him run as fast as he could after a scared yelp.
The lights lit up and a drum roll was heard, the audience counting up the 6 lights that lit up one by one while the ringleader and small dog was going nowhere fast. When the last light lit up, the bell rung again and the audience clapped loudly.
"Congratulations Mr. Double Wide, you won our obstacle course of slime and slop, and you won our great and last minute prize!" Yakko said as Dot threw up confetti around them, along with set up cannons to add more confetti to rain on them.
The ringleader was really tired by now and was walking with the Warners, letting them lead him. "Whew, finally... So what did I win again?" He said, confused.
"You won a lifetime membership back to the local gym!" Yakko said, handing the ringleader a big certificate and Dot having a camera to snap a good picture of it.
"Whew, good... I forgot why I quit that though..." The ringleader said with a sigh, then two big and musclebound guys came in. They were tall and, other than one bald and one having a crew cut, almost looked like twins.
"Oh, that's why..." He muttered as they lifted him up by his arms, going "hup hup hup" as they all left the big tent. The audience had never been more happy at a show here before, whistling as Wakko hopped up and down in his seat happily too.
"And that's our Carnum and Pailey show, we'd like to dedicate this last part of slime and fun to our dear brother Wakko here, come on up!" Yakko said as he waved his little brother over, who joined them right away. All three Warners bowed and grinned happily at the applause.
Then they all said in unison: "Goodnight everybody!"
Outside, after the circus show
"So what'd ya think, Wakko? Was it everything you hoped it'd be?" Yakko said to his little brother.
Wakko nodded and smiled his goofy smile, chuckling. "I couldn't have been happier, unless I could've had that ice cream."
"Aww, we love you too our dysfunctional little bro! Happy birthday!" Dot said as they all had a group hug together. "We're so glad you liked our present!" She added.
"I did, along with the one I found!" Wakko said, holding his smile as they broke away from the group hug.
"Well, what present did you find?" Yakko asked curiously.
"I was already wearing it!" Wakko responded, popping his nose off, which was a regular clown nose that gave a satisfying "HONK" in his hand after squeezing it. He put his real red nose back on and put the other nose under his hat, laughing a bit and starting to walk away.
Yakko looked down at Dot a bit weirdly and vice-versa. "Hey, he's your brother." They said at the same time to each other as they started walking after Wakko towards the exit.
"Hey wait, isn't it our birthdays too?" Dot said at realizing something.
"I don't think any place can handle three Warner birthdays, let alone one." Yakko responded. He and Dot shrugged and smiled as they followed Wakko out of the circus and back towards their home in the Warner movie lot.
Ending line of the day from the Tower: Yakko: "Ehhhhh, is Fox Kids still hiring?"
Dot: "Just asking for a friend."
Wakko: "Or three!"
Whew, now that took way longer than expected, I blame the distractions. I'm debating on whether or not to continue these stories like this or bring Bradley back in every so often to try and write him better. I dunno, I'll think it over. :)