51 Things that Travis Stoll may not do...under any circumstances whatsoever.
Presented by Clara Fonteyn
1. He may not steal Silena's underwear…
2. Then wear the raciest items over his clothes…
3. And then say that he was trying to end gender ruled clothing.
4. He may not declare the first Saturday of every month 'Seduce Chiron day'.
5. He may not declare the first Saturday of every month 'Seduce Dionysus day'.
6. He may not run through an airport, yelling "BOMB! BOMB! HE HAS A BOMB!" while pointing at Chiron.
7. He may not claim to have had an affair with Percy's fountain.
8. He may not tell everyone that he is pregnant…
9. …or that the baby is Juniper's.
10. Tantalus did not force himself on a cookie…
11. And it is wrong to tell Hera so.
12. He may not dye his hair black, wear glasses, and speak with an English accent…
13. And then tell little girls that he is Harry Potter.
14. He may not tell Beckendorf that Silena has a relationship with Percy's underwear.
15. He may not try to start a nudist colony in the camp bathroom…
14. Especially when the Aphrodite girls are in there.
15. The FBI is not out to get him…
16. And neither is Malcolm's cereal.
17. He is not a 'Barbie Girl'…
18. And he is not bringing 'Sexy Back'.
19. Clarisse and Silena are not having an affair and it is wrong to tell everyone that…
20. Especially if he yells it out at lunch.
21. The only proper answer to Silena's question, "Does this make me look fat?" is "No."
22. The only proper answer to Clarisse's question, "Do I look like an idiot, punk?" is "No!"
23. Telling Chiron that the Mist had faded just to watch his reaction is not allowed.
24. He cannot make a toast to Chris's hair…
25. …Especially when Clarisse is at lunch.
26. He may not sing 'Doncha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me' when Clarisse is trying to talk to Chris.
27. He may not change the lyrics to 'Love Story' so it says, 'Marry me Perseus'…
28. …copy it in Annabeth's handwriting…
29. …and then slip it into Percy's cabin.
30. He may not give Annabeth fake spiders for her birthday.
31. He may not give Annabeth real spiders for her birthday.
32. Making fun of Ariadne in Dionysus's hearing distance will result in absolute torture.
33. He may not give Beckendorf the lyrics to 'Potential Break Up song'…
34. …then say that it's from Silena…
35. And then photograph/videotape/record his reaction in any way whatsoever.
36. Accusing Dionysus of being on 'happy juice' will not have a pretty result.
37. Tyson and Percy are not having an affair and it is wrong to say so.
38. He cannot sing 'Super Freak' at breakfast for the entertainment of Camp.
39. He cannot run through Camp naked with the words 'Daddy's little devil' spray-painted on his chest.
40. He cannot sing 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne.
41. He is not from 'The 'hood'…
42. And he is not a gangsta.
43. Hitting on Grover is strictly forbidden, especially in front of Juniper.
44. Hitting on Chiron sends the wrong message to incoming campers.
45. Soaking the Poseidon Cabin with ocean water is a bad idea…
46. …because Percy will not get wet…
47. …but he will get very angry.
48. He cannot Iris-Message Athena…
49. …To tell her that 'The Baby's doing fine,'…
50. …And that Percy and Annabeth asked him to be the godfather.
And last of all…
51. Travis is wholly forbidden from stealing government weapons or camp weapons, such as swords, spears, grenades, atomic bombs, or nuclear warheads, even with the intention of 'improving' them. Doing so will result in the CIA (or FBI) breaking down his home door to find him, at which point they will be out to get him. (See number 15).
Inspired by '51 things Emmett Cullen is not allowed to do' by the indifferent child of earth.
Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.