AN: I know I'm late with this (please don't hurt me) but I literally JUST jumped on the My Immortal Parody bandwagon. Soooo…yeah. Here it is. I'm not correcting any of Tara's creations' (i.e.: Ebony and Raven) speeches, spelling, habits, etc. And the hilarious ANs by Tara are gonna be in blog form starting…whenever. Deal with it. Enjoy!~

Alwyn's POV

"Do we really have to do this?" I asked.

"Yes, we do! You have no friends!"

"I have some! And what makes you think I want more?"

"Deal with it. You're making a friend!"

"Can we go back inside? It's not exactly friend-making weather." It was cold. It was sleeting. I was tired and pissed off to be dragged out of bed before noon on a Saturday.

"NO! We're doing this!"

"Cal?"

"Yes, Al?" My cousin replied.

"Kindly fuck off." I smiled as Calisto's fist shot towards my arm. Ow. That girl has a great punch.

"Not funny! You're so mean to me," She sniffed. "Wait. See that girl?"

"What girl? There's like fifty in our immediate area."

"The girl with the black hair!"

"Once again, there's many girls with black hair," I rubbed my arm. "You know, you really didn't need to punch me that hard." She, of course, ignored me.

"The girl with the black hair with the purple streaks and red tips?" I saw her. She was, I assumed, average height without the comically tall Docs she wore. I could see only the back of her as she chatted with her friends, but that was way too much by itself. Her ass was hanging out of the skirt she wore. I gagged. Too much skin for my taste.

"…Well that's something you don't see everyday."

"I know! So how 'bout her?"

"What?"

"Go make friends with her!"

"I can't just go up to her and say 'Hi, I'm Alwyn, wanna be my friend?' Making friends is harder than that." Besides, she was…gross-looking. Once again, too much skin.

"Oh, go do it." She pulled me toward the girl. OW.

"Cal! Calisto!" I cried. Dammit, that girl's like the Hulk!

"Scuze me?" Calisto asked. The girl turned to us with a sneer on her face.

"What?" She had the voice of a valley girl but the body of a goth. She looked us up and down. An evaluation of our clique ranking I guess.

"Hi," she began. "This is my cousin, Alwyn, and she has no friends."

"Hey!" I shouted. She kicked my shin lightly.

"Anyway," she continued. "You wanna be her friend?"

"Sure!" the girl said. "You guy seem like the awesomest goffs ever!" I turned to stare at my cousin. What the hell had she gotten us into?

"Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair - that's how I got my name - with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee. If u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!" The girl described herself in one breath.

"Out of curiosity, do you ever, you know, breathe?" Cal asked. I tried to stifle a laugh. Fail.

"Of course. I have amazing breath support or something. Anyway, I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I'm in the seventh year. I'm seventeen. I'm a goth, in case you couldn't tell, and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I'm wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I'm wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow."

"I'm not blind." I said. A lot of normal students started to stare at Ebony, so she did the obvious thing: flicked them off.

"Fucking preps." She said.

"Do you always do that?" I asked.

"Hell yes. I fucking hate preps!"

"I gathered that." I reached in my pocket and pulled out a hat. Didn't want my hair to get wet, and yes, I know how materialistic that sounds. Ebony gasped.

"Oh. My. God! It's Draco Malfoy!" she squealed.

"Yeah…so?" Calisto asked. Ebony ignored her. "Oh, dear, god, you're going to flirt with him, aren't you?" Now this was something worth watching.

"Draco!" She called as he walked by.

"Do I know you?" Looking at her apparel, her friends, and Cal's terrified face, he probably knew enough about her to walk away.

"What's up?" She asked, ignoring his query.

"Nothing." He sped away.

"Ebony!" Someone called from directly behind us. Ebony turned. "Bitch, get your ass over here!"

"Coming, bitch!" She walked the two steps to her friend's side.

"Come on, Cal." I grabbed her arm and led her back inside

"Al? What the fuck was that?"

"I don't know."

"I'm scared."

"Me too."

"You don't think it's another-" I slapped my palm over her mouth.

"Don't say it. Saying it will make it true." She licked my hand.

"Ew!" I shouted. "Will you stop doing that? You're not a baby anymore! Or a puppy!" I wiped my slimy hand on her jacket.

"Fine. I wanna go inside. I'm scared she's gonna hurt us." I led her to the main entrance to our school. I stopped and looked back at Ebony and her friends. They all looked anorexic, and rows of scars lined their arms. The girls were pulling out boxes of cigarettes and black lighters.

"Where'd they get those?" I mumbled. "Does Hogsmeade sell muggle shit now?" Cal shrugged, looking deep in thought. She frowned as they lit their cigs. I started to pull open the door.

"If it is another one, we're all screwed." She said.