I did a short mention about Parker's comment on Booth needing the get "sexed up" in an early chapter of Booth's Lie, but decided to do a short story about it. This is a one shot, and rewrites the interpersonal scene to one we all want, but one I've wanted to do for some time now. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
"My son said WHAT?!?!?!" Booth almost had a stroke. He shot a quick glance at his son, the one with no armpit hair to speak of, and shook his head. He turned his attention back to Angela. Bones was with Parker, and he silently prayed to the high heavens that Parker didn't mention anything about Daddy needing to get "sexed up". Bones would never let him live it down.
Angela sighed. She grabbed the Special Agent by the arm and dragged him out of her office and thrust him into a nearby supply closet for some privacy.
"HEY!" Booth protested.
"Zip it, Studly," Angela said with a glare that told him she meant business. "Parker's right," she told him.
Booth's eyes bugged out. "I don't think-" he started but shut up when Angela made a chopping motion with her hand.
"That's right, you don't think," she scolded. "Just when was the last time you played Hide The Salami?"
He turned beet red. "That's none of your business," he shot back.
"Bren hasn't gotten laid since her last time with the deep sea welder over a year ago when she had two boyfriends," Angela calmly stated. "I'd be willing to bet it's been even longer since you let Ole One Eye out to have a bit of fun at the Optometrist's."
"I won't even dignify that with a comment," Booth said as he tried to gather up what was left of his totally shredded dignity, though he was amused as Hell at her using the very innuendo that the late Burgess Meredith used on one of the outtakes from the original Grumpy Old Men movie. He loved that film, and the sequel.
"So I'm right," Angela shook her head. "It's a shame, too. From what Bren says, that piece of equipment you're packing would have any sane woman spreading her legs in a nanosecond."
Booth groaned. Leave it to Bones to let Angela know that she'd seen Junior, even if only limp as a noodle, that time she'd barged into his bathroom. "I still don't see your point," he said with a slight squeak to his voice.
"Hacker wants Bren," Angela said suddenly. Maybe if reason didn't work, scare tactics would.
Booth flinched at the mere mention of his supervisor's name. He despised Hacker, the worthless twerp. The brown nosing shit had gotten his job by kissing the ass of anyone who had an ounce of authority and now he was wanting Bones, too??? No fucking way! "Excuse me?" he said though clenched teeth.
Angela caught the slow, deadly tone in Booth's voice. It was the one that told whoever heard it that the former sniper was in a really dangerous mode. Angela knew that Booth hated Hacker, and the feelings were shared by everyone at the Jeffersonian. Even Bren had expressed a somewhat disdainful attitude about the man, but then Bren had never been the brightest in picking men to be involved with to deal with her "needs". The fact that she had told Angela about Hacker being "interested" said that Bren was considering the possibility, but not that she liked the guy. A warm body was a warm body, after all. But Angela also knew that if Bren went out with, and especially slept with, another coworker of Booth's after his generally negative attitude about Sully a couple of years before, with Bren oblivious as usual, then Booth would never move beyond the partners only barrier with Bren.
"Hacker's been dropping hints to Bren that he's interested in her, and not in the dating sense, but the hitting the sheets sense," Angela told Booth bluntly. "Pretty blatant hints."
Booth was seriously pissed. If Hacker had been in front of him right at that moment the man would find out just what a Ranger trained former military sniper was capable of. It wouldn't be a pretty picture. Now he had two things to worry about. The first was bad enough. How humiliating is it when your eight year old son is worrying about Daddy's sex life, or lack thereof in his case? The second had him wanting to commit murder. He had to face it. It was time to man up and get what was his, and should have been all along, if he hadn't been such a pathetic pansy all these years.
Angela watched the reaction in Booth's body language and his eyes. She could see that she had hit home with her comments about Hacker. Good. While Bren may be considering dealing with some urges with Hacker, at least Bren didn't like him. Oh she would pretend, and get what she wanted out of it, but that was all. Now, hopefully, that wouldn't be happening at all with Booth well aware of what was going on. Hopefully Booth would use this opportunity to claim Bren for his own, and Angela knew that Bren would gladly accept that. Bren had been waiting for the time Booth would be the one to end the line, and it looked like it was about to happen.
"So what are you going to do about it, Stud?" Angela asked when she was sure it was safe to say anything.
"I think me and Bones need to have a little talk," Booth said, his mind focusing on what he was going to tell Bones.
"Talk?" Angela asked in disbelief. "Like when you told her that ridiculous load of crap about loving her in an atta girl sorta way? It's shit like that that's got you into this mess in the first place. I say go up to her and give her ass a good feel. That'll really let her know what you're thinking."
"I will not act like all those losers she's been with since I met her," Booth retorted with derision. He'd never hidden his complete disdain for all those worthless schmucks. Even Sully fell into that category after he'd tried to get Bones to sail away for a year. Anyone who would try that was permanently on Booth's shit list, and damn near the top of it. No one takes HIS Bones away without some serious punishment being meted out. And massive quantities of pain and suffering.
"Then you better hope that the words coming out of your mouth say some pretty impressive things that let her know that you're interested in a good romp between the sheets, and a Hell of a lot more beyond that," Angela advised.
"First I need to take Parker to lunch," Booth said finally. "During which I will be letting him know that Daddy's sex life is off limits to him and his concern. Then I'm coming back and taking Bones somewhere for a little chat. It's high time this gets dealt with."
"So Hacker doesn't get what you want?" Angela chuckled.
"Not funny, Angela," Booth glared. "You just make sure that total waste of skin doesn't come anywhere near Bones while I take Parker to lunch. I wouldn't put it past him to come by offering a quickie while I'm nowhere in sight."
"Yes, SIR!" Angela parroted with a mocking salute.
"I'm surrounded by lunatics," Booth sighed as he stormed out of the supply closet.
An hour and a half later Booth had returned and now had Bones in the SUV on the road. He had only said that they needed to get some air and regroup about the new case. She'd naturally been puzzled, but went along with him anyway. As if she had any choice. He'd been fully prepared to act like a caveman and carry her out of the Jeffersonian over his shoulder if she'd tried to say no.
"Are you sexually unsatisfied?" Bones asked suddenly.
Even though he was damn well going to be discussing that very subject with her, he'd not expected her to bring it up, so he almost swerved off the damn road in shock. Bones could give the Dalai Lama a stroke with her sudden, shocking questions. Poor Booth had nowhere near the inner peace and serenity of the Dalai Lama, so he almost had complete heart failure.
"A little warning would be nice, Bones," Booth said through clenched teeth. His dentist was going to have a field day on his next checkup. He could practically feel the enamel being ground down to nothing.
"Parker said that you needed 'sexed up'," Bones said from her seat.
"You're worried about my sex life because of something an eight year old said???" Booth cried out his exclamation. He was definitely going to have a followup conversation with Parker about the whole loose lips sinking ships idea. A refresher course was very much in order.
"A very intelligent eight year old, who is concerned, obviously, about his Father's sexual health," Bones pointed out.
"Parker doesn't even know what sex is, Bones," he told her, hoping beyond all reason that what he'd just said was true. The absolute last thing he needed was to have to sit his son down and have a chat about the birds and the bees. Rebecca had made it crystal clear that that was Daddy's duty when it came to their son.
"I believe you are incorrect," Bones told him.
"Bones, an eight year old would think a hint of cleavage is sex," Booth told her. "I should know. I was an eight year old boy once, too." He tried to remember how old he was when he found out what it was really all about and shuddered when he recalled walking in on his Mom and Dad when he was nine. Okay, maybe the birds and the bees talk wasn't so far off then. Damn! He made a mental note to himself that Bones, along with her anti-monogamy and anti-religion points of view, would be nowhere near that conversation. Daddy wanted to make sure he wasn't a Pops until Parker was well into his twenties, possibly even his thirties.
"Are you sexually unsatisfied?" Bones asked. Inside she was hoping that he would say yes. She herself was very sexually unsatisfied, and wanted Booth to be the one who would satisfy her from now on. Unfortunately he had not been willing to make the step forward and that left her with the alternative of finding willing men to satisfy her, especially since it had been over a year since her last sexual encounter. Andrew Hacker seemed promising in that regard, and she disliked him enough that she could utilize him for sex only and not date him. But if Booth were willing to cast away the line, then she could forget all the poor substitutes and have what she really wanted.
Booth spotted a place that he could park the damn vehicle and he quickly did so. He turned off the ignition and turned to face Bones directly.
"Yes," he said bluntly. "I am sexually unsatisfied. I have been for a long time, Bones."
Bones looked at her closest friend, and the person she trusted more than anyone in her life. She took in the obvious frustration in his body language, the slightly abnormal breathing pattern, the darkening of his eyes, and the way he purposefully kept his eyes focused on her face, as if he was trying to will himself not to look at the other, more appealing, parts of her anatomy. Ordinarily she would be amused. She had no problem with a man admiring the feminine curves and attributes of her body, and she especially had no problem if that man was Booth. The fact that he was somehow embarrassed made this all the more real as it showed her that her Man, the one with the more Puritanical sensibilities, was here and hadn't changed. It was time to push this, and while she had promised herself that she would wait for him to eliminate the line, she couldn't do that anymore. Not after the flicker of emotion she'd seen in him a moment before. Hacker was now definitely out of the running in terms of helping her deal with her urges. Booth was going to have that honor from this moment forward.
"It's because of me, isn't it," she brazenly stated.
"Yes," he shockingly admitted. This was no time to be a wimp. Daddy needed to get some. "What about you, Bones? Are you sexually unsatisfied?"
"I have been since I was foolish enough to try and have two boyfriends," she stated calmly. "I haven't been with a man since."
"Then since we're both unsatisfied, what are we going to do about it?" Booth asked almost rhetorically. Almost. He still wasn't completely sure that Angela was right and that Bones really did want to be with him. If he was going to man up, then he needed to have at least a hint that this was something that wouldn't get his ass kicked.
Instead of answering him with words, Bones began to crawl over the seat and into the back of the SUV. She was pleased that he hadn't put the back seat back in after his short camping trip with Parker the previous weekend. The mattress would be perfect. She went into the survival locker and pulled out a blanket and two pillows. Not that they would need a blanket, but if someone happened to come along and disturb them then Booth had something to protect his modesty with.
Booth's eyes widened when he saw Bones begin to unbutton her blouse after getting some pillows and a blanket out. His eyes almost popped out of his skull when she pulled off the blouse and removed her bra, revealing the most perfect set of boobs he'd ever seen in his life. "Bones?" he managed to squeak after taking a large gulp of air.
Bones stood up on her knees and began to unfasten and unzip her pants. She looked up. "You want to have us sexually satisfy each other, don't you?" she asked, a glint of amusement in her eyes. She was taking the lead, but she knew that it was Parker's rather astonishing statement that morning that had been the catalyst to this change in her and Booth's relationship. She made a mental note to be sure to purchase Parker the best present a young boy could possibly hope for. He deserved it for making this possible.
"Of course!" Booth nearly shouted. No way was he going to screw up on answering that question. He'd learned his lesson on making stupid statements. Like the Line. Like I love you in an atta girl sorta way. Those days were now long gone as Daddy was now in charge of what came out of that mouth of his. Fuck Sweets and his God damn brain scans!!! This was Bones stripping down to her birthday suit right here in the SUV!!!
"Then what's the problem?" she asked as she pulled down her pant and panties giving Booth a view of her full feminine charms.
"Bones," Booth managed with an audible gulp. Damn! She was so HOT!!! "This is a bit public, don't you think?" he asked, praying that she would take the hint and let them take this somewhere else, like either of their apartments. He'd even let her turn on the siren and he'd break all the speed limits getting there. The siren's got to count for something. Right???
"We are in a seldom used rest area outside of DC, Booth, in an SUV with heavily tinted windows," Bones pointed out as she removed her pants and panties all the way and laid back on the mattress, spreading her legs a bit to give him a fuller image to appreciate. She was leaning back on her elbows, a sexy, sultry smile on her lips.
Booth made a quick decision. He rapidly locked the doors, flung off his jacket, and scrambled into the back of the SUV. He moved up next to Bones, letting his eyes take in the heavenly sight.
"Is this real, Bones?" he asked, almost in a daze.
"Do you think you're hallucinating?" Bones asked quickly, and in a concerned tone. Ever since she'd gotten back from Guatemala she'd been very worried about Booth and the possibility that his brain was not fully healed.
Booth chuckled. "No, Bones," he assured her. "I'm talking about what this is? Is this the start of something, or just a fling to 'relieve urges'?"
Now she understood. She couldn't blame him, really. Now it was her turn to be a bit honest. She was sure that Parker's statement had brought Booth's true desires, and feelings, to the fore, and now it was her turn. She was scared, but at the same time she knew that it was the right thing to do.
"It's the start of something," she told him, watching the relief wash through him.
"Thank God," Booth said as he reached over and yanked down something she hadn't seen before. Booth had installed a pull down barrier that closed from the roof of the SUV down to the back of the front seats. It had been more for allowing Parker to sleep in a darkened place so Daddy could sleep in on the camping trip after the sun came up than anything else, but he was damn glad he hadn't removed it yet. A little more privacy was needed, in his opinion. Bones may be an exhibitionist, but he wasn't. A Hedonist, as she would find out over time, but not an exhibitionist. Pressing a button, the detachable overhead light came on. He wanted to see what was going on, after all. A naked Bones was a naked Bones!!!
"Get undressed NOW," Bones growled as she watched him slowly unbutton the top couple of buttons on his dress shirt. Her nipples were erect and painfully tight as the blood rushed to them and engorged the sensitive tissues. Her pussy was equally engorged and the moisture pooling down there was telling her just how long it had been since she'd had the total pleasure of being with a man.
"Impatient, Bones?" Booth asked, his voice a little quiet as he was still not so sure about this whole sex at a rest area bit in the back of a government issued vehicle.
Bones sat up abruptly and grabbed his shirt, ripping it open as the buttons went flying all over the back of the SUV. A dangerous, sexy, sultry, and thoroughly lecherous glint in her eyes showed just how impatient, and serious, she really was. "Is that answer enough, or do I have to ruin your pants, too?" she asked, a sexy growl in her voice that bordered on a purr. She noticed his pants tenting menacingly and she smiled. "It looks like at least one part of you knows how to cooperate," she teased him.
"Bones, that was the only shirt I have with me," Booth protested, though he quickly shucked the pants and was there on his knees in front of her in his black silk boxers and his favorite rainbow socks.
"I'll buy you another one," Bones said as she ran her hand lightly over his chest and down his perfectly formed abdominals. He was the most perfectly structured male she'd ever seen. She paused her hand at the waistband of his boxers. She raised a brow. "You still have three articles of clothing on, hiding that magnificent body of yours from me," she observed, the light growl back in her voice.
"I even have to take off my socks?" he protested. This was in public! He didn't want to be discovered completely nude!
RIP!!!
Bones held up the remains of the boxers in her hands and smiled. Her eyes moved to the incredible piece of anatomy now on display. Long, thick, and hard with just a hint of moisture escaping the tip. She gazed just slightly lower and admired the large, heavy testicles hanging down, protected by his scrotum. Perfection!
"We are definitely going to be discussing the proper care and maintenance of clothes, Bones," Booth said as he instantly moved to remove his socks. Rainbow socks like these that were made with specially done material for total comfort and warmth were extremely difficult to find. Her rapt attention on Jr. was not lost on him by any means.
"You need to be quicker on your response time," she countered with a wicked grin. She shuffled forward and pressed herself against him, loving the feel of her breasts being crushed against his chest, his erection pressing into her abdomen as she kissed him fully and deeply. His response to that was all that could be hoped for and more.
"Are you sure this isn't just satisfying urges?" Booth asked when they broke apart, almost breathless. Not that he was complaining about how this was turning out, location aside, but he had always imagined their first time being something slow and romantic. This was down and dirty time, though.
"If I wanted to satisfy my urges I'd call on Andrew to come over one evening," she told him, knowing he hated Andrew, but she wanted him to understand the very real difference between her satisfying urges and what they were doing right then.
"Bones, if you say that pathetic kiss asses name again the mood will definitely be gone," Booth warned, Jr. drooping slightly as if to make the point.
Bones pushed him back and knelt down between his legs, taking his cock in hand. "Now that won't do," she told him with a sly wink. She spent a moment learning him by feel, enjoying the heat radiating off of his silky smooth hardness. Bones inhaled deeply, memorizing his scent, and the musky maleness of it. Dipping her head down she ran her tongue along the whole length of the underside, ending with a swirl of her tongue along the head, lapping up the fluid gathered there. He was fully hard again. "Now that's the way you should be," she said smiling back up at Booth. She sat back up on her knees. "Unfortunately we don't have time."
Booth looked up incredulously. "WHAT???" he almost shrieked a few octaves higher than normal.
"For fellatio and cunnilingus, Booth," she chuckled as she shuffled over his legs, straddling his hips. "We always have time for intercourse," she informed him. Swiftly, so he didn't have time to respond, she grasped him and shifted above him, then sank down slowly, taking him all in. She let loose a deep groan at the stretching sensation of her inner tissues and muscles that had not been used in over a year.
Booth was almost cross eyed from the pleasure of his cock being surrounded by that tight, wet heat. "Oh Jesus, Bones," he exhaled sharply.
Bones leaned forward, a grin on her face. "Now is the time for sex, Booth, not supplications to your imaginary friends," she whispered in a husky tone. She rhythmically clenched and unclenched her inner muscles, giving him something to think about before answering her statement.
Booth sent a small, but silent, prayer heavenward asking forgiveness on Bones' behalf as she would never do so on her own, and then he got into the moment a bit. Shocking her, he quickly changed the position and flipped them over so he was on top. He began a rapid stroke in and out of her and he loved the glazed look she got in her eyes when he did so. He sped up and drove into her harder as she met him stroke for stroke expertly. She hadn't been kidding when she'd said she was very good in bed.
"Faster," she demanded, clenching down on him as hard as she could, adding to her own pleasure at the same time. He was hitting her g-spot on almost every other down stroke and she was rapidly approaching an orgasm. She loved his he was able to subtly alter the angle of penetration on almost every stroke, in a completely random pattern. "Almost there," she told him as she clenched her teeth, feeling the deep coil of arousal uncoiling and exploding in a massive orgasm. She let loose a scream, as well as a few very dirty words to egg him on to his own orgasm, which she felt pouring into her a moment later.
Booth exploded as she was clenching around him spasmodically in the aftermath of her orgasm. He didn't think he'd cum that hard in his life. He bellowed her name as he did so, and then collapsed on top of her, her heavy breathing music to his ears.
"Feeling sexually satisfied?" Booth asked, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes as he raised his head and looked down on her.
"I'm not sure," Bones said in a perfectly straight tone of voice.
"YOU"RE NOT SURE?!" Booth exclaimed.
Bones pulled his head down and kissed him languidly, enjoying the taste and feel of him as she probed his mouth, learning him there as well. She pulled back and smiled. "We're not done yet, so why don't we head back to my apartment and then you can ask me again tomorrow morning," she suggested.
"We're not..." Booth grinned widely. "One minor change in the plan, Bones. First we take Parker home, then we head over to your place and get naked again," he told her. The he saw his shirt and boxers. "Two changes. First we go to my place and get me some clothes, then we take Parker home, and then we go to your place and get naked."
"I like your plan," she told him as she groaned in mild frustration as she felt him soften and slide out of her.
"And tomorrow you tell that twit Hacker that you're already spoken for," Booth told her. He made a note to himself to speak to Hacker himself to drive the point home and make sure that supervisor or not, Bones was totally off limits if he valued his manhood.
"Definitely spoken for," Bones said with a smile as she began pulling on her clothes.
Five days later Booth came into his apartment along with Parker. His son's face was still caked with makeup which was a sickly white due to the fact that Angela's paints didn't come off as easily as she'd said. Rebecca had given him an earful over that one, but at least she hadn't taken away any of his time with Parker. He last five days had been unbelievable. First they'd solved the case, naturally, and during the nights he'd been practically screwed to death as Bones worked on making up for a lot of lost time. He didn't think he'd ever known a more insatiable woman in his life. Not that he was complaining, but damn was he tired. And sore. Poor Jr. was practically raw. Again, not that he was complaining. They took one step into the living room and Booth almost fainted.
"What the Hell?" he said out loud as he saw a wall mounted large screen plasma screen TV. Below it was a new entertainment center with, and he rushed over to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, a PS3 PlayStation and a whole stack of games for it. On the shelf below he saw a whole slew of movies on Blue-Ray.
"COOL!!!" Parker shouted as he jumped up and down in excitement.
"You like your present?" Bones asked from the door to Booth's bedroom.
"Bones? Did you do this?" Booth asked. It was awesome, and he was thrilled, but he wasn't too sure about the message it would send to his son. He wanted Parker to know that such nice things were earned, and were a privilege.
"I thought you deserved something that you've been talking about for a long time now," Bones told him. "There's a smaller television like that one in Parker's room with a bunch of kids movies, but only a standard Blue-Ray player instead of the gaming system. There's also something in your room, too."
Booth went straight into his room and saw the 50" Plasma Screen flat panel television expertly mounted on the wall. He also had a Blue-Ray player below it along with a shelf filled with a number of his favorite movies that he'd mentioned to Bones over the years. He could sit up in bed and watch this beautiful machine to his hearts content.
"Do you like it?" Bones asked. She knew he wasn't one to lavish gifts on people, and this was a bit of a large present, but it was important to her.
"Like it? I love it! But, Bones, this is way too much," he protested mildly.
She moved closer to him. "First, it is not too much. I want you to have something that you've been talking about for a long time. Second, the gaming system, and also the TV and Blue-Ray player in Parker's room is my thank you to him for making that statement to Angela five days ago," she informed him. Before she could say anymore a little bundle of energy ran into her from behind and hugged her hard.
"Thanks Dr. Bones! This is so COOL!!!" Parker said loudly.
Bones turned and squatted down to face him at eye level. "No, thank you, Parker," she told him.
Parker looked at her confused. "For what?" he asked.
Booth looked heavenward and prayed that she wouldn't say what he thought she was going to say. But she did. Damn!
"For telling Angela that your dad needed to get sexed up," Bones replied, a wicked glance up at Booth told her that she had flustered him just like she'd hoped to.
"Then we're getting a swimming pool?" Parker asked excitedly.
"Swimming pool?" two adults asked at the same time.
"Yeah," Parker explained. "My friend's Dad got a new girlfriend and he said that his dad got sexed up and now he has a swimming pool to swim in. When are we getting a swimming pool?"
"I'll tell you what, Parker," Bones said, a smile on her face, and a look of disbelief, and was that a bit of relief?, on Booth's. "How about I give your Dad a key to the building I live in and the two of you can come and use the swimming pool there anytime you want?"
"YES!!!" Parker shouted and hugged her hard again. The he scampered off to get a good look at the games Bones had got for the PS3.
"You almost gave me a heart attack," Booth said as he took her in his arms.
"I couldn't resist," she teased. "Now let's go spend time with Parker, and then tonight we can see to your other gift."
"Other gift?" he asked as they made their way to the bedroom door.
"Daddy gets sexed up," Bones teased with a sexy purr. She walked ahead as he stopped, a look of shock on his face at her statement, despite how true it was now that they were together.
"Bones!" Booth moaned as Jr. began to rise to the occasion a few hours early. He walked out of the bedroom and into the living room reciting Saints to see if he could stay in control. He wondered if Parker would head to bed a bit early. Daddy wasn't sure he could wait so long before needing to get sexed up again. Quietly!
A/N: There were several things I could have added to this, such as Bones talking to Hacker, or Booth talking to Hacker, but in the end I decided to leave it as is, and keep it a one shot. Just a bit of fun with the sexed up comment. I hope you enjoyed this one. I almost have the next chapter for London Holiday, Friends With Benefits, and also a new one for I Don't Wanna Be A Squint ready for posting, so hopefully if my schedule stays consistent this week I should have them posted within the next few days. Thanks for all the great reviews on the latest postings for Booth's Lie. Gregg.