She mushed her cheek against the palm of her hand and, with the other, gripped an empty glass. Christmas lights were strung along lampposts and a flurry of snow sparkled in the glow outside Maggie's apartment.
Maggie began her one-woman celebration with her coat still halfway zipped, steel toed boots still tightened around her feet in an effort to stave off the cold that permeated her apartment come early winter, no matter how high she turned up the heat or fortified her bed with extra blankets. She hadn't bother flicking on the lights when she'd shoved the door closed with her heel.
She uncurled her fingers from the glass and the pop of an opening bottle ricocheted off the walls of the empty room.
With the clock pushing nine, Maggie could see silhouettes of families in windows, backlit by soft yellow against the darkened sky. Wind howled, and she poured whiskey into a glass, hoping the impending burn down her throat might steal the festering sting of tears.
Against the dark canvas of closed eyes, memories of Alex pervaded—a water colored, dreamy assault of bright smiles and giggles beneath the sheets and fingers fitted between her own before the hollowness in her chest let out a pang and slamming doors and clipped tones snapped her eyes open.
"Shit." The memories, more intoxicating than alcohol, caused her to miss the glass, sending the drink puddling on the counter.
The bottle clanked against the granite, hand too heavy, as she set it down. She soaked it up, dumping the saturated paper towel into the trash when a set of vibrations sent her phone quivering against the counter.
"Sawyer," she answered, sinking into the barstool and dumping her head into the palm of her hand, fingers bending in her hair, as the other held the phone up to her ear. "Hmm? Oh yeah, yeah. No, I'll be there in fifteen minutes, text me the address. No, I just got off… Yeah, it's fine."
Someone, it turned out, was having a shittier Christmas than she.
/
"Hey," Kara said, plopping beside Alex on the couch. "You want in on the next round? J'onn had to cut out early for some conference call so we definitely have room for more, and Ruby's dying to spend some time with you before she and Sam head out. I don't know what we're playing yet, but you're probably the only one who has a chance of beating Lena. It's insane, Alex. She's good at everything… except maybe the drawing part in Pictionary, but she still kicked ass because she guessed everything I drew in, like, five seconds. No exaggeration. She's so… she's so smart, Alex," Kara pulled a pillow into her lap and tilted her head against the back of the couch, smile dropping from her cheeks as she studied her sister. "But yeah, anyway," she tapped Alex's shoulder without lifting her head off the cushion, "you in?"
Alex shrugged, raised a beer to her mouth, tipping it back before looking at Kara. "I'm just not…" She trailed off and looked down, turning the bottle in her hands and feeling the weight of the liquid swirl at the bottom.
"In the mood?" Kara asked softly, turning her head to lean on Alex's shoulder as the brunette nodded, removing a hand from the drink to wrap her arm around Kara instead. The blonde tilted into the touch. "You miss Maggie."
Alex was still for a moment, staring past Kara, past the four walls around her. "It's stupid, I know, I'm the one who broke it off so…" she looked down, a drop of condensation running from the bottle and between her fingers before splattering on the denim of her jeans. "I just—I still don't know if I made the right choice."
"No, no, Alex, it is definitely not stupid," Kara said, reached to squeeze Alex's hand where it draped over her shoulder. "I miss her, too."
Alex raised her head, looking at Kara with watery eyes. "You do?"
"Of course I do, Alex. So I can't even imagine how hard this is for you."
Kara was looking at her with a soft smile and rosy cheeks and sad eyes. Behind them, playful bickering filled the room about which game to play next and if Lena needed to be impeded to give other people a chance, and Lena was laughing and Kara could almost feel her smile from across the room. Eliza was in the kitchen, organizing dessert with Sam's help and below the apartment, the whoops and yells of kids playing with new toys carried up on the winter wind.
"It's not the same without her." Alex's voice cracked all over her words and Kara's fingers were at her sister's cheeks, catching a tear before it could slip down and join the spatter of condensation on Alex's leg.
"It's not," Kara agreed and tugged Alex into a hug. "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault." Alex turned into the embrace and her nose tickled Kara's hair. "I just want her, more than anything. I don't… I don't know if what I did was right."
"It'll work out, Alex." Kara linked their fingers. "And you've been saying that for a while now. I think…" Kara bit her lip and latched her eyes onto Alex's. "I think if you really truly know in your heart that that's how you feel, you need to tell her."
Alex swallowed hard and shook her head.
"You're going to figure it out, I know you will, and I'll be here with you no matter what, all right?" the blonde said, squeezed her sister close and anchored on her beating, beating heart.
"And hey," Kara continued, tapping the back of her hand against Alex's knee. "You said the adoption search was going well, right? You finally got in contact with an agency." Kara drew a smile across her cheeks. "That's good news, Alex. I'm sure you'll hear back from them soon."
Alex's eyes shifted back to the drink in her hand, she glued her gaze to the rim. "I did."
Kara's eyes widened. "Oh, you did? That was quick, that's got to be a great sign, I mean—" She noted Alex's reluctance to raise her eyes and trailed off. "I mean, if it's not meant to be at this moment, it'll come in the future, you'll just try again somewhere else." Optimism steeled her words. "It will all work out."
"No, no," Alex shook her head, sneaking a glance at her sister. "It wasn't bad, it—they want to start the process of certifying me and—and stuff."
"What?! Alex, that's great!" Kara's soft smile from moments earlier cracked into a grin that had guilt swirling in Alex's stomach.
"Shh, Kara!" Alex sunk away from the gazes thrown in their direction from the kitchen.
"Sorry." Kara's brows knit together and the couch cushions dipped as she dropped back against them, enthusiasm draining just as quickly as it had come. "What's wrong?"
Alex shrugged. "I don't know." The heaviness of the sigh that tore through her chest threatened to shackle her in that position forever. "I just… I'm not sure of—of anything anymore. I don't… I don't know, Kara. I don't know what I'm doing." She shook her head and rubbed her face. "I don't— I don't really want to talk about it right now. I mean c'mon," she tried a hallow smile on her lips, "it's Christmas. We'll talk later."
"Okay." Kara nodded, eyes earnest as they searched Alex's features. "You know I love you, right? No matter what."
"I love you, too," Alex said, holding Kara tight for another moment before letting go.
"Now," she sniffled and wiped at the watery edges of her eyes. She stood up and offered Kara a hand, pulling her off the couch and tossing a glance into the kitchen where board games were stacked on the table. "Let's see if I can take down the unbeatable Lena Luthor."
Lena looked over at her name, beaming too hard to come back with a quip.
Kara squeezed Alex's hand as they walked over.
"What're we playing?" Alex asked as she slid into a seat, smirk on her lips as she looked at Lena. "You ready for a challenge, Luthor?"
"Quite frankly, Agent, I'm dubious that there ever was one."
Lena quirked up her brow and Kara giggled before dropping her head into her hands with a groan. "Oh my God." She looked between Lena and Alex. "I don't even know who to cheer for anymore."
She pushed out her bottom lip in a pout.
And then Kara was smiling, and Lena was too, and Eliza and James and Winn, and Alex couldn't help but join them.
/
"Fisher," Maggie called, zipping her NCPD windbreaker higher and crossing her arms as air whipped through the alley, where Christmas lights were drowned out by red and blue flashings and police sirens. Snow caught on her eye lashes and she brushed it away with a huff, breath showing in the night air. "What are we dealing with? Any aliens?"
"We've got a homicide victim—was an alien but we're not sure from where. Looks like she was living on the streets for the past few days, but if the contents of her purse are anything to go by, she was well-off or at least, at some point, she had been. We're still searching for anything to ID her with, just only found her bag a minute ago. CSI is combing the scene, but Captain asked for you to be here, too. Want to take a look around? CSI hasn't started on the backend yet."
Maggie nodded and turned away, rubbing her hands together to bring some heat between her numbing fingers. She shoved them into her pockets and squeezed in hopes of returning feeling.
Her boots pressed footprints in the untouched blanket of snow in the back of the alley, as the whine of sirens faded, and the light ebbed. She stepped over a pile of boxes, breath coloring the air again with white mist as she exhaled, finally away from all the chaos around the body, finally alone.
Maggie's fingers trembled stiffly against the metal of her flashlight as she clicked it on and scanned crevices. She shifted the snow with the toe of her boot, looking for anything it may have buried, any secrets it held as new sheets fell and coated her hair.
/
"You beat Alex at Operation!" Kara cheered, looking at Lena and launching herself out of her seat. "Oh my God. Oh my God! That is—that was—your game, Alex. You're a doctor."
Lena dipped her head, cheeks red as she tried to hide a grin.
"It was luck," Alex said, crossing her hands over her chest.
Kara shook her head, stopped bouncing long enough to slip into the seat beside Lena and wrap an arm around the younger woman, pulling her into a proud hug, cheek pressing against Lena's face. "Who would've thought? Lena beating Alex in the tie breaker game of Operation." A smile stretched across the blonde's cheeks as she looked at her sister. "Unreal. Arguably one of the best Christmases ever."
Alex rolled her eyes, sinking into the seat across from them. "So much for struggling to pick sides, Kara," she mumbled, looking down for a moment to bury her grin at Kara's pink cheeks. "It's pretty clear where your loyalties lie."
Kara shrugged and tilted her head onto Lena's shoulder. "I don't know what to say, Alex. Lena was clearly the better pick anyway."
Alex grabbed an abandon piece from their earlier game of speed-Monopoly and chucked it toward Kara, laughing when she nailed her sister's shoulder.
"Hey!"
Alex shrugged, winking at Lena as she did so.
"All right, girls, settle down," Eliza came in from the kitchen, hands full of plates, with Winn and James helping behind her. "Who's ready for dessert?"
Kara all but launched out of her seat with excitement again.
/
Maggie was pushing around another stack of cardboard boxes when she paused, eyes catching on a clump of white juxtaposing the worn brown. She nudged the object out of hiding with her flashlight and a small stuffed animal slid out. Maggie picked up the Dalmatian toy. Its tail and a hind leg were muddy and matted but the rest of its fur was soft, its plastic eyes unscratched and still shiny.
She held the dog in one hand, her flashlight in the other as she stood from her crouched position and looked around. A sniffle from the other side of the cardboard boxes was swallowed by a whistle of wind and Maggie squinted, taking a step closer.
The gust upended the stack of boxes and a little pink pompom on a knitted hat poked through the monochromic dead-end. Maggie picked up the rest of the boxes, eased them onto the ground to reveal a red nose and pink cheeks and watery brown eyes.
The detective knelt down, knees popping and boots squeaking against the slick street. A sudden lurch surged in her chest as she looked at the girl bundled up and still shaking, pressed against a brick wall.
"Hey, kid," Maggie said slowly and softly, making eye contact. "Hi. My name's Maggie."
The child blinked and her eyes filled with tears and then a small gloved hand fell from pink lips and reached out to touch the badge on Maggie's belt.
Maggie glanced downward at the badge before looking back up. "Yeah, yeah I'm a detective… like a police officer. I help people, right? I keep them safe."
The girl looked past her, at the stuffed animal still in Maggie's hand. The detective followed her gaze. "Is this yours? Here." Maggie passed the dog to the little girl who took it slowly, focusing on curling her stiff fingers around its body, and held it up to her face, numb in the winter air.
She grasped it tighter and then a sob broke forward and her chest was heaving beneath her baby blue winter coat. "Mama…" she gasped, looking down the street toward the police cars, toward the body bag. "Mama… Mama."
Maggie stiffened and under her layers of long sleeves and a lined jacket, a stake of ice gorged at her composure.
"There was a… a bad… a bad guy." She sobbed openly into the fur of her stuffed animal, squeezing it against her chest as her teeth chattered and she gasped for breath. Each yank of air a shock against her lungs. "He hurted her. He gonna come—come b-back. "
Maggie shook her head. "We're going to keep you safe, okay? We're going to help you, and get you somewhere nice and warm. How does that sound? Can you come with me?"
Brown eyes, blurred by tears scanned the scene before a little nod tilted her chin.
"Good girl," Maggie praised, reaching out a hand for the child to take, but she reached out both her arms instead so Maggie swept her up and held her close, feeling the girl's body tremble against her own. "But Mama…" the small voice protested, reaching out into the dark air in the direction of the police cars. "Mama…"
"Oh, I know, kid. I know. You're safe with us though, okay?"
The child only twisted her arms more tightly around Maggie and sobbed into her shoulder. The chill of her skin stole heat from the crook of Maggie's neck as the little girl pressed her face there, wet and hiccupping.
Maggie slowed for a moment, tilting her head in an attempt to catch the girl's eyes. "Hey, sweetie, can you tell me your name?"
There was a sniffle and shaky gasp and her quivering voice. "Lucia."
Maggie closed her eyes, hugging her tighter. "Let's get you out of here, Lucia."
She walked them away from the back of the alley, toward the police cruisers and chaos. Her boots pressed footprints on top of the old ones, buried now by white snow—silvery and reflective of Christmas and police lights. Wind beat against her coat and Maggie held Lucia tightly, rubbing up and down her back until Lucia's damp lashes fluttered closed against Maggie's collarbone and her tears eased into sniffles, warped by the wailing wind.
"Hey, Sawyer, victim's got a kid. We don't know she if she's here or not but—"
"She is," Maggie said, stepping out of the shadowy dead-end and tightening her grip around the small girl in her arms. The puffy jacket was pliant beneath her fingers and two tiny hands gripped the stuffed animal wedged between Lucia and the detective. Moonlight glimmered in her hair. "I've got her."