It's Iruka's Birthday. May 26th. Yay. Everyone, celebrate with him!

I was inspired by the current heat wave plaguing my town. It's somewhat ironic…on the night it actually cools down enough for me to sleep, I stay up writing about people suffering from the heat.

Please read the ending Author's Note. Thanks. Enjoy.

You can find everything in this story, from het, yaoi and some yuri too. The pairings go as follows:

Tsunade x Shizune (if you squint and tilt your head all the way around)
Kotetsu x Izumo
Genma x Raidou
Gai x Anko (not evident, but again, look hard for it)
Asuma x Kurenai
Ino x Sakura
Sasuke x Naruto
and of course, Kakashi x Iruka.

-Cursed Hot Birthdays-

The seasons were changing. Slowly, winter dissipated and melted into the ground, giving rise to flowers and their beautifully blooming petals. During the springtime, with the renewal of life, came fermentation, fruiting, and hormones. The cycle continued and the warm sun shone brighter and announced the arrival of summer; however, the pheromones of lust lingered in the hot season.

The sun was cruelly intense and the humidity in the air was intolerable. Even long after the sun had set the temperature remained at unbearable levels. It was practically suffocating and the ninjas of Konoha sought refuge from the weather. The Hokage herself had cancelled all activities for the village and, despite the moon, high in the sky, she sat in a tub of ice water, with her assistant, passing a bottle of sake, back and forth amid them.

''This has to be the best idea you have ever had, Tsunade.'' Shizune sighed happily and the tiny cups clanged between the women.

''I can't believe you let me.'' The elder woman chuckled and leaned heavily on her secretary.

They had stripped to their undergarments, found the largest vat in Konoha, filled it with ice to keep their alcohol cool, and spent the night laughing together.

However, not everyone was as resourceful, or fortune, as the Godaime.

Her ANBU guards thought they were going to die, standing outside her door, panting and groaning under their cloaks.

Not every shinobi had been spared from their duties. The gates' guard schedule remained and the unfortunate souls, standing out at the posts were barely able to stand.

''Damn it, Kotetsu, you've been gone half an hour now!'' Izumo snapped, irritated from the heat, suffocating him beneath his thick outfit.

Izumo was sweating; his chair clung to his face and he had, albeit against the rules, started stripping off layers of his uniform.

Kotetsu, his friend, and fellow ill-fated victim had gone to fetch water. He returned though, with buckets full. A smirk graced his lips and as Izumo glared at him, he pored the water over his head.

''I love you so much.'' Izumo breathed a deep sigh of relief. ''I'd molest you, but it's too hot.''

At least they had found a temporary fix to the heated dilemma.

''Damn it, Genma. Get off. It's too hot for sex.'' Raidou complained, as a warm body was replacing the cold water around him.

Genma was not going to take no for an answer. He had lost the first bet to his lover and so, Raidou got to soak in the tub, but he had been in there for an hour already.

''But you're so hot…''

Raidou's eyes narrowed and he weakly shoved at Genma's shoulders, but the temperature was still too scorching for him to put up much of a fight. Genma grinned victoriously, straddled his boyfriend's lap, and seductively pored cold water down the chest he claimed as his own.

''Make me wet!'' Genma chuckled.

The heat was beginning to affect certain people's psyches. Even the strongest of jounin were crumbling and shedding their clothes. The wave would pass soon, but until a breeze passed that was not hazy or saturated with humidity, the ninjas acted like children again.

''You'll never catch me, Gai!'' Anko hollered, ducked, and threw a water balloon at her opponent.

Gai was more than happy to get drenched. He laughed heartily and made sure that his ammunition struck its target. Anko gasped as her back was soaked, but the relief was welcomed. They chuckled and ran around the village together in nothing but their underwear.

Not every individual was comfortable with publicly displaying their attractions. Some ninjas, true to the rules of their trade, discretely loved one another in the privacy of their bedrooms, where they could be as loud as they wanted. Their devious smirks, teasing hands and sucking mouths were only for each other.

''That was a brilliant idea, Kurenai.'' Asuma puffed on his cigarette and blew the smoke up to the ceiling.

Kurenai shuffled closer, beneath the thin sheet and grinned lecherously.

''There's another tray in the freezer…'' She licked her lips and held up the empty tray of ice cubes.

The cigarette was extinguished, but their thoughts and actions were still burning.

The adults easily found ways to distract themselves; however, the children were not fairing as well. Most of them were in front of fans, moaning and unable to sleep. They had ice on their foreheads and tossed relentlessly in their beds.

Some minds, nonetheless, were more productive and far more imaginative than most. Ino could not bare the heat any longer. After her parents retired for the night, she jumped out of her window and dashed over the rooftops to her best friend's house. She had an excellent idea and

After a light knock on the window, Sakura rustled over, protesting, in a hushed voice. Her hair was disheveled and the lack of sleep was evident in her eyes.

''Come with me…'' Ino smiled charmingly at her and after being persuaded by a light kiss, Sakura followed.

Their hands were laced together, as Ino led the way. She brought Sakura back to her house, snuck in, and headed to the basement. The blonde was grinning mischievously and the sly look in her eyes glinted in the moonlight. Sakura merely raised an eyebrow and wiped the sweat from her brow.

''Come in…'' She murmured and opened the door to the freezer.

A cold breeze of air hit both their bodies and they tried hard not laugh. A freezer was better than sitting around in the heat.

''You know, the cold is going to make you hard.'' Ino said offhandedly and glanced in a suggestive area.

''Ino-perv.'' Sakura retorted and basked in the cold atmosphere, which meant that they could do hot things, after they devoured the container of ice cream.

Sakura's other teammates were facing the same insomniac problems. However, Naruto had a much different approach to fighting the heat. He dragged Sasuke down to the river, stripped him down to nothing, and dove into the water. It was warm, but still refreshing enough to offer a respite to the torturous temperature.

Nevertheless, making out in the water did not really help solve the problem.

''Damnit, Sasuke…I'm still hot.'' Naruto moaned huskily, as tepid hands disappeared beneath the surface and began teasing him.

''Think of it this way…'' Sasuke murmured against his neck and ravenously sucked on it. ''If we have sex in the water, we'll feel hot, but cold right after and tired enough to fall asleep.''

Naruto did not protest the clever reasoning as a warm tongue invaded his mouth again and filled his senses with a burning passion that was more intense than the sun could ever be. Their heat was only tangible when they kissed that voraciously.

The weather, undeniably unendurable, was driving some shinobi insane, others to their lusty thoughts and everyone else to an excruciating night.

''Happy Birthday, Iruka…''

''You've been silently waiting for midnight to say that, haven't you?''

Kakashi grinned, guilty and handsome. He wanted nothing more than to lean over and pull the birthday boy, wearing nothing but his birthday suit, up against his equally naked chest, but the weather forbade any cuddling whatsoever. Body heat, usually appreciated, was pushed aside for the night. They stuck to their separate sides of the bed.

Iruka though, still held onto his lover's hand, joined between them and smiled at the bare face, still gazing at him.

''Love you, Ruka…''

''Love you, Kashi…''

Their amused smiled lingered, until they met in the middle of the bed, for a soft kiss.

''Is it really true that every year on your birthday, Konoha is struck with a heat wave?''

''I swear it is.''

Kakashi chuckled and shook his head. ''It's kind of hard to believe, you know…that every one of your birthdays is on a day like this.''

''If you're willing to stick around for more of them, you'll see…I'm cursed.''

''You're cursed alright…with good looks, a firm ass, a heart of gold and a terrible boyfriend, who plans on being around to see your next birthday.''

''Flattery gets you everywhere…but not tonight. Too hot.'' Iruka breathed out happily, a half pant from the humidity, clinging to their bodies, and half in content because despite the heat, his birthday was shaping up to be a memorable one.

-EndE-

The package is kind of a tribute to a bunch of pairings, who have found ways to cure their heat problems, through somewhat playful and kinky means.

The main point I'm trying to convey is that even though it is Iruka's birthday and this is the best time to, you know…SCREW Kakashi, he doesn't. I make a joke about his birthday, this apparent curse, and the couple then realizes that they reassure their love just by the lasting of each other's presence. There's more than just physicality to a relationship, so I tried to establish this by the contrasting delicious smut, or playful attitude of every other pairing.