Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
Author's Notes: This is actually my first Naruto story. I hope you like it! Please R&R!!
The Darkness Within Her Heart
Jiraiya was walking along the darkened paths of Konoha during a fierce rainstorm. He looked up hearing sobbing. A woman followed by two other people carrying a body behind her was coming towards the entrance to the village. Jiraiya jogged up to them soon seeing that the woman was none other than his love, his teammate, Tsunade-hime. He glanced at the body, and instantly knew whose it was. It was her lover, Dan's body. Jiraiya carefully raised a hand to Tsunade's shoulder in hopes of comforting her. She didn't shy away, or brush his hand off, just let him keep it there, as he slowly started to stroke her shoulder with his thumb.
The four of them continued to walk in to the village, coming across curious villagers, sticking their heads out of their windows or doorways, at the sound of attempted silent crying. Jiraiya was obviously worried about his teammate, wondering exactly how it happened, but he knew he couldn't ask her. He'll ask one of the other men later.
--
Bright and early the next morning, Jiraiya woke up and got dressed so he could go see if Tsunade was feeling better, now that she'd hopefully had a good night's rest. He had found out from one of the men who had accompanied Tsunade and Dan on the mission, that Dan had been severely injured beyond even Tsunade's medical capabilities. She had been trying to revive him for the longest time, but they had needed to get going, for fear of their enemies finding them.
Jiraiya had been oddly solemn and serious towards Tsunade last night, since her mental condition was ever so slightly fragile. A few weeks earlier, she had lost her little brother, Nawaki, after all and that had shattered her world too.
Jiraiya ate a quick breakfast and left his home, headed for the hospital, where he hoped Tsunade was. Luckily for him, nobody stopped to say hello or good morning, and Tsunade was at the hospital. After finding out she had been asked to spend the night in the psychological ward, and in which room, Jiraiya headed off to check on his friend.
Jiraiya knocked lightly on room 301's door, waiting for a reply or something similar. Not receiving any such greeting, Jiraiya opened the door a sliver, peaking at the bed. The bed sheets were messed up, as if someone had slept in them the night before, but no Tsunade. Fearing the worst, Tsunade probably leaving, Jiraiya opened the door fully and finally caught a glimpse of long blonde hair being blown softly by the wind.
Tsunade was sitting on the seat connected to the window, her hair down and flowing in the breeze. Jiraiya walked over quietly, but not so quietly as to spook her. He grabbed a chair and sat down in it after bringing it closer to Tsunade. They sat in fairly calming silence for a few moments, when Tsunade finally spoke.
"Why?"
"Hmm?" Jiraiya asked looking up at her.
"Why, Jiraiya? Why did they all have to die? First…Nawaki" her voice cracked, saying her little brother's name. "And then…Dan!" her voice cracked again and she started crying into her pulled-up-to-her-chest knees.
Jiraiya stared at his teammate for a minute, watching her cry as silently as she could. He sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it with his thumb. "It's a war, Tsunade. A lot of people have died, and will die, so long as this war continues. No one can help it, and it's impossible and dangerous to try to turn back time. We all wish some things had never even happened, but that's the luck of the draw. We all have skeletons in our closet we wish could just disappear. But that's not how the world works, Tsunade. That's not what happens. I'm sorry. And don't even think that it was your fault that he died. The others told me that he was beyond help. Not even a dozen of you could have helped. I'm sorry, Tsunade," Jiraiya told her weeping form.
Tsunade looked up at her teammate and friend. "Then why couldn't they have brought me with them?!" she asked angrily.
"Because you would've left behind so many broken hearts. Mine, Sarutobi-sensei's, and I'm sure even Orochimaru's. Also, the village might not make it through this war without your medical knowledge and skill."
"And what about their deaths, Jiraiya! What about the people they left with broken hearts, like me! What about Dan's little niece, Shizune! What about her?! What are we going to tell her! Are we just going to tell her that I screwed up and couldn't save the one thing most precious in her life! The one and only piece of family she has left! What about that, Jiraiya?!" Tsunade practically screamed at him.
Jiraiya took the verbal abuse and kept a calm face in front of her. "Tsunade…Shizune has you, doesn't she?" Tsunade looked at Jiraiya, apparently having forgotten that little fact. "And you have me, Sarutobi-sensei, and little Shizune to think about. You need to be selfless right now. If you let your anger or sadness show through, then Shizune might become fearful, and you really need to be there for her right now."
"I…" Tsunade started. "I hadn't thought about that."
"Exactly," Jiraiya said, letting a small smile creep onto his face. "Keep Shizune-chan's happiness and her need of you in mind, and you'll make it through this. Of course, Sarutobi-sensei and me are more than happy to assist you in supporting Shizune and your recovery."
Tsunade looked at him, eyes brimming with tears, Jiraiya hoping were tears of joy or happiness. Tsunade looked down at her hands, then back at Jiraiya. "Thank you for always being there and always seeming to go out of the way to help me out. It's…it's comforting to say the least. Calming too, I suppose," she said quietly.
"Nah, think nothing of it, Tsunade-hime, "Jiraiya said blushing. "I just…it's just that we've been through too much now, to give it up and stop being friends. You really mean a lot to me. If you keep saying all that stuff about me, you'll embarrass me," by this time, Jiraiya had started scratching at the back of his neck, in embarrassment.
"Oh, please. You deserve the respect ya old fool," Tsunade said, a small smile sliding onto her face. "You're always there, watching my back."
"Hey, I'm not the only one. Sarutobi-sensei is there for you too!" Jiraiya said, just in case she might have gotten the idea that he felt more for her than two best friends coping after a gruesome ordeal. Jiraiya smiled sheepishly.
At that exact moment in time, when Jiraiya was looking at Tsunade his face as red as the marks on his cheeks and Tsunade was watching him, a certain 3rd Hokage knocked lightly on the door, then came in. "I should have guessed you'd be in here, Jiraiya," he said smiling. A long haired, gold-eyed, genius followed behind his teacher.
"Sarutobi-sensei!" Jiraiya called, shock evident on his face. "Orochimaru! You guys came!"
"Well, of course we came you idiot," Orochimaru hissed out. Jiraiya pulled a face at his teammate.
"Tsunade," Sarutobi said walking over to his student. "How are you feeling? Better I hope?"
Tsunade looked down at her hands. "A little. Me and Jiraiya were just talking about some…stuff." Tsunade looked up at Sarutobi, worry in her eyes. "Where is Shizune-chan?"
"Shizune's still at her house, in her bed, asleep. I've placed a couple of Jounin there, in case she wakes up worried. Also if she wanted to find one of us," Sarutobi explained, smiling.
"If you ask me, we should just leave the little brat on her own. Children are annoyingly obnoxious," Orochimaru muttered, barely heard by the other three.
"Hey! Orochimaru, don't say stuff like that. Little Shizune-chan's gonna need some help here for a while, so don't you go and say stuff that'll upset her. 'Sides she's only a little girl, she's gonna need someone there with her at all times now," Jiraiya said, in defense for the girl.
"He's right, Orochimaru," Sarutobi agreed. "For once."
"Hey!" Jiraiya called indignantly. Tsunade, however, cracked a small smile at him. Sarutobi smiled widely, while Orochimaru leaned against the wall by the door. Jiraiya chuckled heartily.
--
Shortly after a disgusting lunch, Tsunade had another knock at the door. This time, however, the visitor waited patiently outside, before coming in. Tsunade told them to come in, only to see a small, disheveled, black-haired girl there. Tsunade's eyes widened and she gasped lightly.
"Shizune-chan!" Tsunade exclaimed. Shizune walked over to the bed and crawled up, with help from the Sannin. Tsunade looked back at the door, where two female Jounin stood, waiting for some signal or something. Tsunade beckoned them to leave, and when they did, they also closed the door.
"Auntie Tsunade?" Shizune questioned, not fully pronouncing the two words correctly. "Where were yoo dis mornin'? An' Uncle Dan?" she asked, obviously still drowsy from sleep.
Tsunade looked at the small girl sitting in her lap, and tears almost came to her eyes. She sighed before jumping in. "Shizune-chan. Your uncle is…is no longer with us," She explained in a soothing tone, hoping her voice didn't show her true feelings.
"I don…I don't understand."
Tsunade gulped back her emotions. "Shizune, your uncle is…dead."
"Dead?" The small girl stared at Tsunade with wide, fear-filled, tearing eyes. "As in dead-dead? Won't eva come back dead-dead? As in…as in…" Shizune trailed off, breaking out into uncontrollable fits of tears. Tsunade pulled Shizune close to her body, and stroked her back comfortingly.
"Shhh…it's going to be okay, Shizune-chan. Nan-kuro-na-sai. Everything will work out," Tsunade said on the verge of tears herself. At this point, Tsunade believed she was trying to convince herself and not the girl of that. The Sannin had to control her own tears from falling in front of the little girl.
"What…what are we gonna do now," Shizune asked through hiccupping sobs.
Tsunade thought. "I don't know, Shizune-chan. But…I…I don't want to be here in the village anymore…" she trailed off, quietly.
"What…what about me?" the girl asked pointing at her tear-streaked face.
"Well…I've talked with Sarutobi-sensei, and…he said that I could leave the village for an unknown amount of time. Perhaps…you can come with me…if we can convince him of such. I just…I can't stay here anymore, Shizune-chan. This village just brings back too many bad memories. I can't stay," Tsunade said, almost breaking out into tears, but saved herself. Shizune stared at her uncle's girlfriend for a few minutes, still hiccupping.
"Ya know…it's okay ta cry Auntie Tsunade," she said patting Tsunade's forearm. The older woman looked down at Shizune.
"I…" Tsunade stopped, turning toward the window with a glare. "Come out you."
A silver-haired man jumped in the window, pushing the curtains away. He had the good grace to look ashamed.
"Uncle Jiraiya," Shizune croaked, due to her crying earlier. Tsunade, however, was glaring at him.
"Hey, Shizune-chan, Tsunade-hime," Jiraiya said, smiling hesitantly.
"What are you doing here?" Tsunade demanded harshly.
"I don't think you guys should leave the village," Jiraiya said, confidently.
"What I do is my damn business. And what Shizune decides to do is her business, Jiraiya," Tsunade said, looking in the opposite direction of her old teammate.
"You need to overcome this, here in the village, with the people who love you. You know, amongst familiar surroundings. If you leave now, you might have problems adjusting to the new place you choose. It could be dangerous for your health and mental state," Jiraiya whispered the last two words quietly.
"Would you stop it with the lecture?!" Tsunade asked angrily, Shizune looking up at her. Jiraiya sighed, looking at a curious Shizune. He shrugged then jumped out the window.
"He's gone Auntie Tsunade," Shizune informed quietly. Tsunade looked back at the girl.
"They're releasing me late this afternoon. We could…hang out, if you want to. Maybe get some…dango or something," Tsunade said slowly. "Would you like that, Shizune-chan?" Shizune nodded enthusiastically.