A/N: i Do not own Arrow. I just enjoy playing in their sandbox. All writing mistakes are my own.

When Oliver left Starling after the undertaking he knew the city was in need of some serious healing but he didn't know what else he could do for it when he was the one to fail it in the first place.

He was unable to stop Malcolm and 503 people were dead because of his failure.

So he left believing the city would survive. It somehow always did. He knew he would be leaving it in the very capable hands of John Diggle and Felicity Smoak.

And his family didn't need him making things worse. His mother was in jail, Thea was Thea, she was stronger than most gave her credit for, he wasn't even sure his sister even knew just how strong and resilient she really was and she had Walter to look out for her. Tommy was pissed at him and he had every right to be and Oliver preferred that to his best friend, his brother being dead, the worst possible alternative.

When he had arrived at CNRI and found Tommy impaled with a piece of rebar through his side he hadn't felt fear like that in a long time.

Later realizing how close he came to losing Tommy it really put a lot of things in perspective for him.

About him, Tommy and Laurel. What he and Laurel did to Tommy was wrong on so many levels and he hadn't deserved it.

And now when he really thought about it, it was never about the woman herself. It was what she represented for him for the last five years. A chance to right his wrongs, fix his mistakes. A chance to redeem himself.

But Laurel Lance was not his redemption. She never was. He should have realized that sooner. Maybe then he could have saved his life long friendship with Tommy.

It was a real eye opener though when his mother was in jail, Tommy was in the hospital, 503 people lost their lives, homes and families in shambles, ruined beyond repair and all Laurel could think about was them moving on together like nothing of the past five years ever happened. Laurel and Oliver that was all that mattered to her.

Oliver decided he was not here for that. He didn't want to start over with her. He didn't want to make things worse than they already were with Tommy but more than that he wasn't in the right headspace to start anything with anyone.

And if their one night together had shown him anything it was that what he once had with Laurel was no longer something he wanted.

He wanted something else than what he had with her. Something different. Something more and he didn't think that was something he could find with Laurel.

When left it was with the belief that Diggle and Felicity would look after the city.

Diggle could focus on living his own life instead of fighting a crusade that wasn't his.

And as for Felicity he knew, he believed out of everyone she would be okay. She was Felicity Small the most capable woman he had ever come to know. He left her a generously large sum of money to thank her for everything she did for him. He knew she was going to go on to do great things with whatever she decided moving forward. He wished her the best in moving on with her life.

So he left going back to the place that made him who he was today.

He didn't expect for his friends to come after him. He didn't expect for everything to have change so much or for his loved ones to be vastly different in such a short amount of time.

Felicity in particular.

She seemed more closed off than he ever remembered her being, it was unsettling and for the life of him he didn't know why. It made him feel lost, like he was adrift at sea once again with no hope of coming home.

A/N: This was an idea I had.

I don't know if I will continue it. Mainly because this story will be dark with trigger themes and has the potential to be the darkest thing I've ever written.