It was overcast. The sun was setting, or maybe it already had? It was hard to tell. The clouds around the setting/set sun were bright and golden, but dimming as the earth tilted further away. Meanwhile, a dark spot had formed in the clouds to the East, and it seemed to be growing larger. Spreading, like a drop of coffee spilled on a paper napkin.
The whole scene looked... apocalyptic. Like something out of Revelations... The forces of evil had broken through the Eastern wall and spilled into the heavens, routing its defenders who retreated behind the mountains to the West. Darkness would engulf the entire sky and the heavens would mourn with rain.
Good was not defeated, though. Overnight, its forces would regroup and march all the way around the earth, flanking from the East. Come dawn, the light would retake the sky from the darkness. Good always won in the end. That is what you believed. No, that is what you knew. You were proof of that. And so was Chara.
She stared out the passenger side window at the scenery flying by. She leaned her elbow on door and rested her chin on her closed fist. The car radio played a song quietly in the background. Both of you had heard this song so many times before, that your brains subconsciously filtered it out, like any sound that you had gotten used to. You had both hands on the steering wheel and looked straight ahead at the road coming at you and the guy in the car ahead of you who kept crossing the median and slamming on his breaks randomly. You couldn't tell if he was old, drunk, or both.
It had only been a couple weeks or so since she told you she wasn't going to do it. Since she told you she wasn't going to kill anyone. Although she never talked about it, you knew that she did struggle with the decision. There was an incident earlier in your relationship where you went out of your way to do something nice for her and the gesture brought her to tears. You think that may have been the first time she acknowledged the feelings she had for you and realized that pursuing power would mean the end of your relationship. And your life. Love and LOVE were mutually exclusive. Holding on to both of them was impossible. They would slip through your fingers like one too many limes. You just couldn't have both and feeding one would starve the other.
Last month, something changed. She started waking up earlier, just so she could spend more time with you. She told you she wanted to start helping out around the house and actually followed through. She cleaned, prepared communal meals, did the grocery shopping... Not only that, but she was more helpful and supportive. She asked you how your day was when you came home and actually cared, she gave you backrubs when you were stressed, she took care of you when you were sick... (She "took care of you" in more than one way. Whenever you got sick, she'd end up catching the same thing soon after.)
It was like... you were a team now. Partners... She went from being your "girlfriend" to being your girlfriend. You went to work, she took care of everything at home. You paid for the groceries, she'd go out and get them, bring them home, cook them, and have them streaming on the table for you. In the bedroom, she did everything you wanted and you... well, you did what you could for her... Some of the things she was into were just beyond what you were capable of. And what physics were capable of...
And despite all these changes she was making, which must have been difficult for her, she was happier throughout. She smiled more, laughed more, she even sang to herself now... She never did that before... She had to have made up her mind. There was no way she was going to hurt anyone now. ...Right?
A little later, you got up the courage to ask. You asked her if she still wanted to kill everyone, if she still wanted to pursue power at the expense of literally everything and become a God or demon or whatever that much killing would turn you into, besides a big jerk. She thought about it for a second then admitted that she did.
Her words hit you like a Kamikaze attack, a direct hit on your heart, which started taking on water and sinking. How could she do this to you? Did you really mean nothing to her? What was this past year with her, then? Just an act? To make it so when she finally did kill you it would hurt even worse? To make it so you would feel emotional pain along with physical? Before this, you didn't believe that it even was possible for someone to be pure evil. But now, you did. The proof was undeniable. It was also sitting next to you on the couch.
But then, the proof that pure evil existed looked you in the eyes. Behind those large beautiful red eyes of her's, where her true colors always shone through in 24-bit RGB, you saw absolutely no evil. Not a spot. You saw the opposite of evil, actually. You saw love. Her eyes were full of the stuff. Saturated, like she had dunked them in a big bucket of love juice... What? No, not that kind of love juice, you sicko! She smiled and kissed you, then told you that even though she wanted to do it, she wasn't going to. She wasn't going to do it because you didn't want her to. That was all it took...
Hearing those words... it was such a relief. You were very pleased that when it came down to you vs. power, you came out on top, but you wondered how she developed this awful desire in the first place. Why did she want to kill everyone? Where did this obsession with power come from? Why did she hoard knives? And where was she getting them? And why did she stash them in the oddest places, like your sock drawer or the freezer?
There... there had to have been something... Something that made her this way. Bad kids are rarely just born. More often than not, they are made. By bad parents, bad experiences, bad times... You figured that something had to have happened to her when she was a child that caused this. Something before you met her, before she fell in the Underground. Perhaps it was the reason she climbed Mount Ebott in the first place? Maybe she was running away? Or maybe... she was... Whatever it was, it must have been awful. Something so traumatic that it made her want to become a killing machine, fueled by the lives of everyone and everything.
It wasn't just curiosity that drove your desire to learn more about her. You wanted to know so you could understand. You wanted to know so you could help. Help her overcome whatever it was that happened to her. You wanted to know so you could be there for her. You wanted to know because you loved her.
"Hey, did you hear me?" She stared at you.
"Huh?" You blinked a couple times. "Sorry, I was just... thinking about something..."
"Can I drive?", she repeated her question.
"You want to drive?" You glanced at her, your eyes squintier than usual.
"Yeah!" She clenched her fists excitedly.
"No!" You shook your head. "Absolutely not!"
"Awww!" She turned away from you and folded her arms. "Why not?"
"Because you don't have a driver's license.", you said, without taking your eyes off the road.
"So?", she said. "I'm sure I could do it... I've watched you do it thousands of times. You even let me steer a couple times before..." She steered an invisible steering wheel in front of herself.
"I'm sure you could.", you said. "But what if you got pulled over?"
She exhaled sharply. "I'm not going to get pulled over."
"But what if you did?", you asked. "Then they'd find out that you didn't have a license and they'd take you to jail. Then they'd look up your info and find out that you died years ago..."
"Oh..." She scratched her head. "Yeah, I didn't think of that... That could cause some problems..."
"That's an understatement.", you said. "They'd probably cremate you."
She snorted. "They would not!"
"Don't be so sure.", you said. "The police hate paperwork. They'd rather make reality match up to the paperwork than the other way around. Ask Undyne about it sometime."
"Yeah, ok." She smirked and rolled her eyes.
"Then they'd do an investigation.", you said. "They'd want to know how you managed to fall through the cracks of the system, so they'd send their C.S.I. team to our house and examine every square inch of it. By identifying the substances coating the carpet fibers in our bedroom, they'd piece together an incredibly detailed timeline of our sexual escapades..."
She smiled. It made her happy when you referred to your things as "our things", as in "our house" and "our bedroom". You had started doing that just recently and every time you did, it made her feel good. Even when you were just talking nonsense, like you were now. It made her feel like the two of you were a legitimate couple now. Like you shared everything. Like you were a unit, an item... She felt more like a part of you now than she did when you shared a body.
"...Then they'd build a case against me, claiming that I knowingly had sexual relations with someone who was legally dead.", you continued. "They'd fill the jury with members of the Westboro Baptist Church and show them a line graph of our sexual history, with the X axis being time and the Y axis being depravity. The jury would, of course, find me guilty as Hell, and I'd be convicted of necrophilia and executed."
"Yeah, whatever." She shook her head, still smiling. "How am I supposed to get my driver's license if I'm legally dead?"
"You know, I've actually thought about this..." you said, dropping the humorous undertones in your voice. "It's possible you aren't legally dead, isn't it? Maybe nobody on the surface recognized your body during your and Asriel's, uh, visit? Maybe you're just recorded as having gone missing years ago?"
Her smile had faded away completely by the time you were done speaking. "Nah, I'm sure they did. I made sure of that..."
"You did?", you asked. "How so?"
She sighed. "It was all part of the plan... I knew that Asriel would get cold feet, so I planned on using his sense of self-preservation to get him to fight. You know, kill or be killed. I made sure they recognized me, or my body I mean... I wanted to goad them into attacking us."
"Oh...", you said.
"I was the one who picked up my own body...", she continued. "They assumed Asriel had killed me just as planned." She stared at her hands which were resting in her lap, fingers interlocked like the teeth of a zipper.
It was quiet for a moment, except for the sounds from the road and... the radio? You didn't even realize the it was on... "You might think I'm crazy, but I don't even care. 'Cause I can tell what's going on. It's hip to be square!"
"Jesus Christ...", you said quietly to yourself as you reached up and turned the radio off. You had a nightmare once that Chara asked you if you liked Huey Lewis and the News, then she explained that she thought their early work was a little too new wave for her tastes... It permanently ruined this song for you. "Hey, uh..." You cleared your throat. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah?" She looked up at you.
"Freeing the monsters...", you said. "That wasn't part of the plan, was it?"
"No." She laid her head back on the head rest and stared at the ceiling. "I had no intention of returning to destroy the barrier once we had collected the souls we needed. I had no intention of stopping at six. I had no intention of stopping at all..." She shook her head sadly.
"That's what I thought.", you said. "Can I... can I ask you another question?"
"Maybe...", she said without looking at you.
"Was it... revenge? You know, returning to your home town and starting your... thing there..." You lowered your voice. "Did they... did they do something to you? To make you want to..."
"Look..." She turned her head your way. "Can we... can we not? I'm not really comfortable talking about this..." The specularity of her eyes gave away her emotional state.
"Sure." You glanced at her momentarily and placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"No." She looked straight ahead. "It's fine. I'm just... not ready to talk about it, I guess?"
"Ok. That's... that's cool." You tried to smile at her, but only managed half of one.
"Thank you." She leaned on the door and looked out the window again. Some time passed without either of you saying anything.
"Hey, uh...", you said. "Maybe sometime next week, we can drive out of town and find some backroads or something and I can let you drive around out there..."
"What?" She turned from the window and looked your way. "Really?"
"Yeah, sure.", you said. "We can go somewhere where there aren't so many police around and you could do some driving out there."
"Oh, that would be great!" She clasped her hands together. "I've always wanted to drive!"
"Ok cool," you said, "let's do it, then!"
"Yay! Thank you so much!" She leaned over, grabbed your face, and planted a kiss on your cheek.
"Yeah, no problem." You had no trouble forming a full smile now. In fact, you couldn't stop smiling even if you wanted to.
"And maybe..." She stroked your thigh. "When we're out driving around on those secluded backroads, we'll find somewhere with a little privacy where we can pull over and..." She chuckled seductively.
You shot her a grin. "Mmmm! I like the sound of that! Remind me to bring a blanket..." You did your own seductive chuckle.
"But..." She turned the burner off under her sultry expression and let it cool into a more serious one. "We'll have to make sure it's not next to a goat farm like last time..."
"Oh, yeah..." Your expression went through the exact same change. "That was... that was traumatic..." You exhaled through your teeth.
"I looked up and saw the face of my dead brother..." She shivered.
"Yeah, I saw Mom...", you said. "She looked... disappointed... I'm actually really ashamed that I confused a real goat with my mother. I hope that doesn't make me a racist or something..."
"How did it sneak up on us without either of us noticing?", she asked. "Then, why did it have to scream at us?! And why did it sound exactly like Asriel did that time he saw me naked and realized I didn't have a 'pee pee'?! It was like something out of a horror movie! I actually had trouble sleeping that night!"
"Me too!", you said. "I couldn't stop thinking about that time I was a kid and I asked our waiter at the Chinese restaurant if he was Jackie Chan!" You cringed.
"Every time I closed my eyes I saw it again...", she said. "I couldn't get that picture out of my mind. What a nightmare..."
"I had a nightmare once that I met Samuel L. Jackson and I told him that I loved him in the Matrix...", you said. "He yelled at me. A lot. He said the F-word a bunch. To this day, that's still the most horrifying dream I ever had..."
"Ugh..." She placed her hand on her heart. "Just thinking about this is freaking me out... I need... I need to chill for a second..." She leaned back in her seat, took a deep breath, and shut her eyes... She saw nothing but black, but then... *Baaaahhhh!* "Oh God! I see it again!" She tore her eyes open as wide as they would go. "We have to... we have to stop talking about this!" She grabbed onto your arm and shook you. "If we don't, I won't be able to sleep tonight! Or possibly ever again!"
"Yeah, fine by me!", you said. "I know I'm not a racist! Even if I don't like rap music! Let's just forget it ever happened, just like we did with the Wax Play Incident..."
"The what incident?" She squinted at you.
"You know the, uh..." You looked over at her staring at you angrily. "I mean, uh... that incident that never happened?! Remember that?! No, of course you don't! You weren't there! And neither was I! Because it never happened! Out of everything that never happened, that happened the least!"
"That's right.", she said. "It never happened. Just like that time at the goat farm, The Goatus Interruptus Incident, never happened."
"Ooh!", you said. "I really like that name, though! Did you just come up with that? I kinda want to remember it now..."
"No!", she said. "It never happened!"
"Right! Never happened!" You could never forget it now.
"Good.", she said. "Now, what were we talking about before? Oh, right! Yeah, a blanket is a good idea. Maybe when we're done, we could have a picnic? You know how hungry I get afterwards..."
"Oh yeah, definitely!", you said. "You're not yourself when you're hungry. There's a reason why I stash chocolate bars everywhere."
"You do?" She tilted her head.
"Yeah. Check it out." You opened the center console, revealing four chocolate bars.
"Oh wow!", she said. "Can I have one?"
"Sure.", you said. "It might actually be a good idea to have one now. We're going to be at Grillby's for a few hours..."
She reached in and grabbed a chocolate bar. "Thanks!" She started unwrapping it.
You shut the center console. "I'd hate for you to get hungry there, where there's so many... bystanders that could get hurt...", you said quietly to yourself.
She paused. "What was that? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the chocolate bar wrapper."
"Oh, I just said, uh..." You cleared your throat. "I'd hate for you to get hungry there, where, uh... the food is so expensive! Yeah!"
"Oh, ok." She finished unwrapping the chocolate bar, broke off a row of chocolate squares, and bit one of them off. "I should be fine.", she said with a mouth full of chocolate. "Do you want some?" She held up the row of chocolate.
"Hmmm...", you said. "Sure, why not?"
She broke a square off the row. "How about a chocolate kiss?" She licked her lips.
"Yeah, ok.", you said. "But I am driving, so it'll have to be a quick one. No tongue."
"Ok.", she said. "Are you ready?"
"Yup." You nodded.
"Ok, here it comes!" She placed the square of chocolate between her lips and both of you leaned into each other, meeting in the middle with a kiss, where she passed the piece of chocolate to your mouth.
"Mmmm!" You sucked on the chocolate. "Now that's what I call a chocolate kiss! Eat your heart out, Milton Hershey!"
She grinned at you as she chewed the chocolate in her mouth. The two of you made plans for your outing next week.
You stopped for a red light. The cars on the road perpendicular to yours started moving ahead. You leaned back and relaxed, resting your arm on the center console. You turned to her. "Hey, thanks for coming with me to Sans's show."
"Yeah, no problem.", she said.
"I think he appreciates us coming to watch his stand up.", you said. "And I like to go to all his shows to support him."
"Yeah, I don't mind." She shrugged. "He's really not that bad. His jokes are a lot better than they used to be. I used to hate his puns..." Memories of Sans's old punny humor came back to her. Her face twitched slightly as she fought back the urge to kill rising inside of her.
"I remember. You were like 'Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!'" You stabbed the air with an imaginary knife. "'For the love of God, kill him now!'"
She chuckled. "Yeah, that's what I said. Verbatim."
"I know what you mean, though.", you said. "His jokes were pretty lazy back in the day. He puts a lot more effort into them now."
"It seems like he puts a lot more effort into everything.", she said. "I remember him being really, really lazy."
"Well, he was pretty depressed back then.", you said. "You know, with the whole resetting thing... Really, I would be, too." You looked past her shoulder, starring off into space. "I can't imagine feeling like nothing you did ever mattered, like there was no point to anything because it was just inevitably going to be reset..." You looked back at her. "But since we got to the Surface and I told him I can't reset anymore, he seems to have snapped out of it."
"About that..." She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. "Why can't you reset anymore?"
"I'm not sure exactly.", you said. "I have a theory, though... So the being with the most determination has the power to reset, right? That's why Flowey could do it before I showed up. I couldn't reset before I fell into the Underground, and I can't reset now on the Surface..."
"Right..." She nodded slightly.
"So I think that the barrier made the Underground into it's own little universe.", you continued. "Like a small bubble inside a much larger one. When I fell down there, I gained the ability to reset because I had the most determination out of everyone in that universe. When the barrier was destroyed, the bubble popped..." You clapped your hands together. "...and the Underground Universe became a part of the Surface Universe again and I lost the ability to reset."
"You know, that sounds pretty plausible, actually..." She placed her hand on her chin. "So, if you're not the most determined being in this universe, it must be someone else, right? I wonder who it is..."
"Well, chances are it's probably someone in China or India." You sighed. "You know what they say, no matter how good you are at something, there's always some Asian kid that's better at it than you."
She laughed. "Wow, sounds like someone is bitter..."
"Tell me about it.", you said. "After spending my whole life wanting to be a super hero, I finally get super powers, only to lose them immediately after I rescue some people. I was going to make a costume and everything..."
She laughed again. "I would have liked to have seen that! Did you have any super hero names in mind?"
"Not really. Maybe I could have been... 'Determination Boy'!?", you said, imitating the announcer from The Super Friends. "Or... 'The Resetter'!"
"'The Resetter'?", she said. "That sounds more like a name for a villain..."
"Yeah, it kinda does, doesn't it?", you said. "I guess that could be my name if I ever turned evil. Or maybe it could be the name of an alternate universe version of me. Bizarro Frisk..."
"I image a super villain called 'The Resetter' would wear a lot of purple.", she said. "Maybe he'd be a snappy dresser, too?"
"Yeah! And maybe he'd have a goatee..." You stroked your chin.
Her mind painted a picture of this Resetter character. He wore a dark Italian-cut suit with a purple shirt, purple gloves, a trilby with a purple trim ribbon, purple shoes, and a classy purple masquerade mask to conceal his identity. He carried a purple cane with a heart shape carved in the top. He looked just like you, but with a goatee. She bit her lip. "Mmmm... Hey... I have a crazy idea...", she said, her tone of voice perfectly conveying what she wanted.
"Uh oh..." You read her loud and clear.
"Hey! You haven't even heard it yet!", she said, her tone of voice now transmitting her annoyance in 1080p with 5.1 surround sound.
"I think I know what you have in mind, though...", you said.
"Oh really?" She folded her arms. "Tell me what it is, then!"
"I bet you want me to grow a goatee and make a Resetter costume...", you said.
"Oh..." Her eyes popped open.
"Then you want me to roleplay as The Resetter, don't you?", you asked. "You want me to pretend to kidnap you and threaten to reset everything unless you give yourself to me, right?"
"Oh... That is... that is exactly it..." She rubbed her eye.
"I knew it!" You clenched your fist.
"Are you sure you don't have super powers?", she asked. "Because sometimes I feel like you can read my mind..."
You chortled. "Nah, I just know you too well. I'll think about your idea, though. I don't have nearly enough purple clothing to pull it off... I'd have to pick up a few things at the thrift store..."
"I'd like to go back to the thrift store, too. I need a new cheerleader outfit..." She scowled at you. "After you ruined mine..."
"Oh, c'mon!", you said. "You can't dress that way and expect me not to jump the gun a bit! I mean, what were you expecting?"
"I don't know.", she said. "More than twenty seconds at least?"
"I have absolutely no excuse.", you said. "That whole getup... It pushed all of my buttons... The cheerleader outfit, the knee high socks, the... pigtahhllsss-" The drool pooling in your mouth had overflown and gone down your throat, sending you into a coughing fit.
"Woah, are you ok?" She smacked you on the back.
"Yeah, *cough, cough*, I'm fine." You cleared your throat. "Sorry, I guess I just-"
"You choked on your drool again, didn't you?", she interrupted.
"Yes, that.", you said. "Exactly that. I'm sorry..."
"No, don't apologize." She smiled proudly. "I take it as a complement. I'm glad I can turn you on so much."
"Ok, good.", you said. "Honestly, you were lucky I lasted as long as I did. I just... couldn't contain myself..."
She let out a single laugh. "Yeah, literally!"
"I became... an animal...", you bleated. "An animal I say!"
"Now that part, I liked.", she said. "After you recuperated, it was amazing... Why do you think I want to get a replacement so bad?" She raised her eyebrows twice.
The light turned green. You grabbed onto the wheel and accelerated. There was a short pause in your conversation.
"Imagine a villain with the power to reset, though...", she said. "They would be... unstoppable..."
"Yeah, I guess they would be..." You thought back to when you were a child in the Underground and Chara was trying to take over your body. If she had succeeded, would she have been able to reset, too? A genocidal killer with the power to roll back time, mulligan any defeat, retry something as many times as it took until they achieved their desired outcome... "Brrr!" The thought made you shiver.
"Are you cold?", she asked.
"Huh? No, I'm fine... I just, uh... Yeah, maybe a little..." You reached for the knob that controlled the car's internal temperature and turned it a few degrees to the right, so that it pointed a little further into the red zone. "There we go. That's better."
A familiar sign on the left side of the road entered your field of view and caught your attention. "Ah, here we are!" You turned your blinker on and moved into the turning lane. You stopped and waited for a couple cars to go by... *Click, clock, click, clock* You drummed your fingers on the steering wheel. Once it was clear, you turned and crossed the road into the Grillby's parking lot.
"Whoa, lotta people here tonight..." You rolled down the parking lot slowly, your eyes darting left to right as you searched the rows of cars for an unoccupied parking spot.
"Ugh...", she said. "New cars sure are ugly these days... Look at that thing!" She pointed to a crossover SUV. "It looks like a Jeep did it with a Buick and this is the horrific result!"
You laughed. "Yeah, you're right! I hate the color, too. It looks like an old computer monitor... You know, the old boxy kind?"
"Yeah!", she said. "It's beige or something! What an awful color... They should have realized that beige was uncool when even computer nerds abandoned it..."
You chuckled. It was silent for a minute while both of you concentrated on finding a parking spot.
"There's one!" She pointed at a free parking space between a truck and a large SUV. Both vehicles partially encroached on the territory of the parking spot. It looked like a political map of Nazi Germany, Poland, and The Soviet Union, circa 1939.
"Oh boy..." You quickly surveyed the parking lot again, looking for an alternative. "Guess we have no choice. Here goes..." You cranked the wheel all the way to the right. You heard the tires grind against the asphalt as they pivoted in place. You slowly accelerated into the parking spot, coming inches from the Fascist truck. "Eeeee...", you said through your gritted teeth. Finally, you were in. "Whew! Wasn't sure we were going to make it..." You shifted the car into park and twisted the key back. The engine and the console lights died and the interior light came on.
"If you had bumped into them, it would have been their fault for parking too close." She took her seat belt off. "We should slash their tires or something! Teach them a lesson!"
"Nah, it's fine." You took your seat belt off. "I'm sure it was unintentional. Those things steer like boats, you know." You opened the driver's side door and pushed it out.
"Yeah, alright..." She opened the passenger door. It swung out about five inches before contacting the Communist SUV, on the right, ironically. "Uh..."
"Oh, shoot!" You placed a hand on your head. "Do you have enough room?"
"Not really, but I'll try..." She exhaled and squeezed out of the tiny gap.
You stepped out of the car, slammed the door behind you, and walked around to the other side where she was already mostly out of the car. "Wow, that was amazing!" You took her hand to help her balance as she unstuck her foot. "You're like the liquid metal Terminator!"
She chuckled. "Yeah, I wish..." She stabbed the air with her hands a few times, making sounds effects as she did so. "Chlickk! Chlickk!" She noticed something on the inside of her arm and she held it up for a closer look. "Huh..." She wiped the light gray dirt off her arm and looked down at her shirt which had similar spots on it. "Oh no... Did I... did I kill a monster? I didn't even realize... It was an accident!" She looked up at you. "It was an accident, I swear! You gotta believe me!"
"Woah Chara, calm down!", you said. "You didn't kill a monster! You just got a little dirt on you from the door frame!"
"Oh..." She looked into the door frame and saw that it was full of dirt, the exact same shade of light grey.
"Yeah, see? Everything's cool." You pushed the door shut.
"Phew! Thank God!" She placed a hand on her chest and took a few deep breaths. "How much would that suck if I accidentally killed a monster right after I told you I wasn't going to do anything?"
"Yeah, that would be pretty horrible.", you said. "The poor monster..."
"Yeah, uh, that poor, poor monster..." She meant it would have been awful for herself. "Uh, assuming that ever happened... Do you think you could forgive me?"
"Oh yeah, of course!", you said. "Accidents happen. If you accidentally hurt something, I'll understand."
"Oh, thank you.", she said.
"Yeah, no problem." You walked around her. "Now let's get you cleaned up." You brushed the dirt off her back.
"Yeah, ok..." She brushed the dirt off her front. "What about, uh, self defense?"
"Huh?" You stopped brushing off her back. "What about it?"
"What if I was attacked and I defended myself and the assailant ended up dead?", she asked.
"Oh... Well, yeah, that's ok. I mean, everyone should have the right to defend themselves." You resumed brushing her back off. "You shouldn't be held responsible for whatever happens to someone when you defend yourself from them."
"Ok, good.", she said. "Now, what if I intentionally put myself in situations where I might need to defend myself..."
"Huh?", you asked. "What do you mean?"
"Well," she explained, "what if I put on some sexy clothing and walked around the rough part of town, with the intention of attracting rapists so I could-"
You stopped brushing again. "No."
"Ok, ok! That's cool! Just... just finding where the line is..." She brushed herself off one more time. "Ok, that's good enough. You ready?"
"Almost. Still a little dirty back here..." You brushed off her lower back.
She reached behind her back and grabbed your wrists. "You know, if you want to touch my butt, you don't have to make up stupid excuses..." She placed the palms of your hands flat against her dirty seat cushions.
"W-what?!" You pulled your hands away. "It was dirty, I swear!"
"Yeah, whatever." She turned around. "More like, 'you're dirty, I swear'!" She turned the heat up on her expression until it was simmering. "Look, we're a little early, aren't we? If you really do want to 'Frisk' me, we have some time, but we'll have to go somewhere more private..." She looked around the parking lot. "Like maybe behind that dumpster..." She gestured to a large dumpster off the side of the building, with green stink lines wafting off of it and flies fleeing from it, holding their noses shut.
"No, really, it's fine..." You waved your hands in front of yourself.
"Hmmm..." She looked around again. "Actually, being watched could be kinda hot..." She bit her bottom lip. "Mmmmm..." She stepped into your personal space and grabbed your collar.
You chuckled uncomfortably as you looked up at the security camera pointing right at you. You swore you could hear it zooming in... "H-hey, I'm the monster ambassador to humans! I have a reputation to uphold, here! I can't be caught doing... lewd things in the Grillby's parking lot!" You paused for a second. "Again..."
She smiled mischievously. "What are you talking about? I was just tying your shoes for you, remember? It only looked like we were doing lewd things!"
"Heh, heh! I can't believe they bought that!" You shooed the smile from your face. "But seriously, we better not. I could lose my job..."
"Oh, alright..." She stepped back and put her hands in her pockets. "Well, how am I supposed to..." She looked upwards and thought for a moment. "Hmmm..." She made eye contact. "Do you think... do you think you could help me shoot a little film later I could distribute on the Internet..."
"No.", you said, without hesitation.
"Oh, c'mon!" She raised a hand into the air. "I'll blur out our faces! Just... just think about it, ok?"
"Ok, I'll think about it... Uh..." Your eyes were drawn to her face. "Hey, you got something..." You pointed to her face.
"What?", she said.
"You have something on your face.", you said. "Looks like more dirt from the door frame."
"Oh..." She rubbed her face. "Did I get it?"
"No, a little higher." You pointed to where the spot would be on your own face.
She rubbed her face a little higher. "Now?"
"No, not that high... Here, let me..." You licked your thumb and moved it towards her face.
"Ew!" She put a hand between her face and your disgusting thumb. "Don't touch me with that!"
"What?" You retracted your thumb, looked at it, then looked back to her. "This bothers you? After you've kissed me on the lips hundreds and hundreds of times?"
"That's different." She placed her hands on her hips.
"You've even, on multiple occasions..." You looked around to make sure there wasn't anybody around within hearing range. "...ordered me to spit in your mouth!", you whispered.
"Yeah, but you're forgetting the context...", she said.
"Fine." You wiped your thumb off on your pants and held it up to her. "You lick it then."
"Ok." She leaned in and licked your thumb. She put her tongue back in her mouth, frowned, and smacked her lips a couple times. A disgusted expression formed on her face and she spit on the ground a couple times. "Ew! It tastes like Funyuns!"
"Jeez...", you said. "You didn't react half as bad the first time you tasted my-"
"Shhh!" She held a finger up in front of her mouth then pointed behind you.
You turned your head and looked. A den of girl scouts walked by, or a "murder" as Chara would say. They noticed the two of you staring at them.
"H-hi!" You waved at them.
"Greetings!", Chara said.
You waited for them to pass then turned back to Chara. "What the hell!", you whispered. "Who brings kids to a bar?! Especially one full of monsters?! I mean, really?!"
"Didn't Sans take you to Grillby's when you were a child?", she asked.
"Well, yeah...", you said. "But that's Sans. Sans is the kind of person that brings kids to bars full of monsters..." Your eyes lit up. "Huh, I just answered my own question. You don't think they came with Sans do you?"
"I doubt it.", she said. "Not even Papyrus lets Sans watch his kids."
"Yeah, you're probably right." You focused your eyes on the spot on her face again. "Now hold still..." You raised your thumb up, wiped the dirt off her face, then stepped back to examine your handiwork and...
"Did you... did you get it?" She raised an eyebrow. "What are you looking at now?"
You looked into her eyes, gently ran your hand down her face, stopping at her shoulder. You stepped forward and moved your hand to the back of her neck while you placed your other hand on her cheek. Her eyes hinged open all the way. You pressed your lips to hers and kissed her like they did in romance novels with pictures of Fabio on the cover. Shirtless, even. Her eyes remained opened wide, but relaxed and finally closed as the kiss went on. You let her up for air and the two of you stared into each other's eyes.
You brushed the hair off her face. "Sorry, I just..." You shook your head gently, without breaking eye contact. "I don't even know... You look really pretty today... I mean, you always look pretty, and today's no different..."
She tilted her head as a confused smile formed on her face. "Huh?"
"I guess...", you said. "I guess what I'm trying to say here is... you are pretty. You are very pretty. You are pretty pretty."
"Oh..." She let out a flustered chuckle. "T-thank you!" She cleared her throat.
"Yeah, I uh, got it.", you said.
"You got what?", she asked, seemingly from the depths of a hypnotic trance.
"The dirt on your face...", you said. "It's gone now."
"Oh... oh, right!" She blinked and shook her head sharply a couple times. "Thank you."
"Yeah, no problem... beautiful." You smiled at her. "Are you ready to go inside now?"
She shook her head. "No." She placed her hands on the back of your head and pulled you down for another kiss. By the time the two of you entered the new surface side Grillby's, you were no longer early.