Chapter one
"Wow! That was..." I opened my eyes looking down on me, meeting his eyes. He looked up on me, his head on my chest, his eyes dark and full of desire. But suddenly I realized: There was something else to see. Something scary.
No, that's not what I think it could be, no, no! My thoughts were sreaming in my head. He has to go, right now! Oh, my god! I have to get him the hell out of my bed.
I was in panic. And he was just laying on my chest looking deep in my eyes and now there was no possibility to deny: This is love in his eyes! Shit!
Ok, he doesn't know what is going around in my head, but he will know if I don't look away, right now! Break the spell, you fool!
"Tommy, can you please get up, I have to go to bathroom, like right now." I really managed it to let my voice sound almost calm. His look still on my eyes he moved over on the bed and set me free.
Ok, now don't just jump out of the bed, move slowly. How I am gonna do this, when all I want is to get away from him? Calm down!
I had to come down from my panic attac, but how? First of all I got up from the bed took my bathrobe and walked to the bathroom. There I just stood in front of the mirror staring on my reflection. The man in the mirror looked back at me with fear in his eyes. I could not believe how I was feeling right now. I had to find a way to get to a normal level.
Breathe, calm down, this is just Tommy. Nothing changed. Everything is cool.
My reflection looked back at me telling me a different story.
Fuck!
I could hear Tommy going around in my apartment. I flushed the toilet just to let him know that I will come out the bathroom. And of course I didn't want him to wonder what I needed to do in the bathroom instead of using the toilet, like a pretended.
Ok, here we go!
I got out just to see that he was back in his clothes, ready to leave. He smiled. "So, I think I will go now, it's late. I know you have to get up early tomorrow." He moved over to me, his look now as usaual.
Maybe I was wrong.
He reached out and pulled me in a hug. It was as always. Then he pulled a little away just to look up to my eyes and there it was again. Love. I felt the panic coming back but he didn't give me much time to let it overflow me. He just gave me a light peck on my cheek and said: "Night, Adam. I will call you tomorrow, ok?" "Yeah, good night!" With this he turned around and was gone.